Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

Practice went by much the same as yesterday, but if anything Jordan and I worked together even better today. We were both on-point for knowing where we had to be and where the other was going to be, it was ridiculous. I've never been like that with anybody on a team before.

"Wow, are we ever gonna kick some ass out there!" he smirked as we sat down on the bench. My knee had been bothering me a little bit today, but it felt okay with the brace on.

"Bates? What's wrong?" Dan asked, startling me.

"Uh… um…" I felt like an idiot, tripping over my tongue and not knowing what to say.

"Knee acting up?" Jordan asked and I finally found my voice.

"It's just a little stiff is all, it'll be fine," I told him, and he raised an eyebrow.

"No pushing it; I don't want you hurt before the season starts," he warned me. "Any more trouble and you sit, understand?"

"Yes Coach," I nodded, feeling a little put out. Goddamn knee.

"Serious, it seems like a bummer but it's better than needing surgery," Sullivan told me, and grudgingly I nodded.

"I know. I just hate it," I grumbled, making him laugh. He kind of reminded me of my dad in a roundabout way.

"You'll be fine; just relax and listen to your body. If it tells you to stop, stop and give it some rest," he said, and I felt myself choking on tears. That was what my dad had told me every time I'd tried to push myself after hurting my knee in the tenth grade.

"Whoa… Cam?" Jordan asked, noticing my condition.

"Did I upset you?" Sullivan asked, both of them a little weirded out, which I didn't blame them.

"Shit, I'm sorry. It's just… my dad always used to say that," I sniffed, biting my lip to keep the tears at bay.

"Your dad?" Jordan asked, and I nodded.

"I lost him to cancer about six months ago," I whispered, staring at my feet as I tried to keep an onslaught of tears at bay.

After a moment I felt an arm around my shoulder and was pulled into a hug by my newfound friend; Jordan trying to comfort me as I tried not to cry. I could tell he felt a little bit awkward; we were at practice after all, but obviously the need to make sure I was okay over-rode the need to be all 'manly'.

"I'm sorry Cam, I had no idea," Sullivan started, but I shook my head.

"Don't worry about it, you didn't know," I insisted, trying to work up a smile for him.

"It's okay," Jordan mumbled, and after a moment I pulled away, feeling like I'd gotten control of myself. I looked up to see the rest of the team standing there, looking concerned, and felt my face turn bright red as I looked at my feet. Jordan's hand was still comfortingly on my back.

"Bates? What's wrong?" Dan asked, and I had to bite my lip again, refusing to look up at my teammates as I felt a few hot tears escape.

"I said something that made him think of his dad; he lost his dad to cancer pretty recently," Sullivan stepped in for me, realizing I couldn't say it out loud again. Immediately everybody was vocally giving me support, along with a few pats on the helmet and shoulder.

"How about you sit for a few shifts, okay? You'll be all right, I'm sure he's extremely proud of you right now," Dan said with a fatherly pat on my shoulder as he slowly made his way over to the rest of the guys on the ice.

"Thanks," I managed to whisper, and felt Steve's hand on my shoulder. I managed to look over at him, and saw a small smile, so much like the one my dad always wore when I'd just lost a game or played dismally and was upset.

"Don't worry about it. You know he's here with you, no matter what," he consoled me, and I nodded, not knowing what to say without bursting out into tears or causing more awkwardness. I hated crying and feeling like this when I was locked up by myself in my room on a good day, let alone in front of my teammates.

"Sorry Staalsy," I apologized as I sat up straight, and felt him give me another quick squeeze of a hug before he let go.

"Don't worry about it. Everybody needs someone to lean on once in a while," he assured me, and while I didn't know why Jordan sat off with me on the two shifts I missed.

"We stick together, all right? Unless Coach says otherwise," he told me when I went to answer. It seemed to be the same thing with Sidney and Neal, who'd been put on the same line since Dan had moved him up from Craig's line.

"Thanks," he nodded, and when we went back out onto the ice Jordan seemed to be keeping an eye out for me, blocking a few hits, that sort of thing.

"That's what we're looking for guys; that's the kind of teamwork I wanted to see out here today!" Dan complimented us as we skated right past him. We were done for the day, and I couldn't wait to give Uncle Rob a hug and do something to keep this off of my mind.

"C'mere," before I knew what was happening Steve had wrapped me up in a huge hug, and after a moment I relaxed into it, glad for his support. He was like my dad in so many ways, I couldn't believe it.

"I don't remind you of him, do I?" he asked as he let me go, and after a moment I hesitantly nodded.

"You're a lot like him, actually," I sniffed, and his face fell a little.

"I'm so sorry, I hope this isn't hard on you because of it,"

"No, I'll be fine. It's just a bit of a shock right now, I guess. I'll be fine," I repeated, making him grin at me.

"If you're sure. He was one lucky guy you know; to have a kid like you, and I bet he watches every single practice and game; now he doesn't have to worry about the practices being closed," he gave me a small grin, and I managed one back for him.

"Yeah, he would have loved that," I nodded, and Steve gave me another quick hug.

"You ever need to talk or anything, I'm here for you, okay? I'll give you our home number, don't ever hesitate to call me or Shelly for anything. Do you have a place to stay out here?"

"Um actually I'm going looking for a place with my Uncle today, and then phoning Becka tonight and letting her know what we found," I answered, and then realized I'd mentioned my best friend. It hadn't even occurred to me that I should have kept that part to myself.

"Becka's your girlfriend?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"Kind of? We're best friends, and,"

"And thinking there's maybe something more?" Steve supplied, and while I was cursing Becka for thinking this whole 'fake girlfriend' thing was a good idea I nodded.

"Yeah, maybe. She's going to school here in Pittsburgh, she just found out she got accepted," I told him, and he gave me a huge grin.

"That's great! I'll keep an eye out for anything nice that I see, okay? You and your uncle should come over for supper tonight; Shelly's making lasagna," the sound of his voice told me it was delicious, and I seriously debated it.

"Thanks, but I don't want to intrude or invite myself,"

"You're not; I just invited you guys. Here, when we get back to the locker room we'll do this whole number switch thing, and I can call and give you guys instructions," he insisted, and I nodded.

"Thanks Steve, that'd be great," I grinned, and he smiled back at me.

"That's what I like to hear," he put his arm casually around my shoulder and we walked to the locker room, talking away. Just like dad and I used to do.