Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

Jordan's P.O.V.

Jared and Cam both fell asleep at some point in the movie, so when it was over I set Parker in the lazy boy; I reclined it and tucked the blanket in around him, before shutting off the VCR. I carefully moved Jared so he was laying on the floor with his head on a pillow rather than awkwardly leaning, and then pulled Cam’s feet up onto the couch and sat down in my former spot; letting her head rest on the pillow on the armrest and her upper body across my lap. I sat there, letting my fingers rest in her hair as she slept peacefully, and let my mind wander.

How long would she want to wait before telling everybody? How long would I have to wait until I didn’t have to keep the best thing to ever happen to me a secret? It was absolutely killing me inside, and Cam was suffering from it too. She was doing amazing; second overall in the league in scoring, and first overall in assists. My numbers had increased since playing with her; she just made everybody around her play better. Her playmaking and ability to read the ice were incredible, there’s no way Dan and Ray wouldn’t offer her a contract at the end of the season; as of right now we were third in the Eastern Conference, definitely not a bad place to be at the end of January.

Jared let out a snort and rolled over, pulling the blanket over his head before going back to sleep. Cam shifted at the noise, and slowly her eyelids lifted the tiniest bit, and then smiled before curling into my body.

“Hey there sleepy,” I whispered, and she made a cute little sound in her throat.

“Did you sleep?” she asked me. I shook my head, and then she realized that Parker was nowhere in sight.

“He’s sleeping on the chair,” I said, and she contorted herself to take a look at the sleeping boy; he was curled up with his Cubby and out like a light bulb. She smiled when she saw him, and my heart did a little flip in my chest at the way she looked at him. Parker meant a lot to her, and I couldn’t be happier that my family meant so much to her. Torrie hadn’t been like that; while she’d kind of tried to get along with my family she had never put in the effort to really get to know them or become close with them, not like Cam was. It hadn’t even seemed like she’d had to try; she just blended into my family like she was meant to be there.

“He’s so adorable,” she sighed, snuggling back against me.

“I know,” I agreed, and she raised an eyebrow playfully at me.

“Really? Party boy Jordan Staal has a soft spot? Alert the press! Mark it on the calendar!” she teased, making me chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” I rolled my eyes, before pressing a kiss to her forehead. She smiled and then moved until she was sitting on my lap, her arms wrapped around me and her face tucked into my neck; my chin sitting on top of her head. Moments later she nuzzled my neck, and I dipped my head to find her lips and kiss her. I wasn’t sure how long we sat there for, but it was at least five good minutes before we pulled apart for longer than a single breath.

“You guys done sucking face yet?” we both jumped when we heard Jared’s voice come from under his pillow.

“Sorry, didn’t know you were awake,” Cam mumbled, her face fire engine red and buried against my chest.

“Well I woke up and saw you two playing tonsil hockey so I really didn’t want to have to watch that,” he said, pulling the pillow off of his face and slowly sitting up and stretching. It was awkward for a few moments, until Jared poked Cam’s leg and got her to look at him.

“Relax Cam; it’s not a big deal. I’ve seen worse,” he admitted, and I raised an eyebrow.

“I went to go up in the loft of the barn once and found Marc and one of his girlfriends pretty close to going at it… that was when I fell down the ladder and sprained my wrist and my ankle; I was trying to get the hell out of there as fast as I could, missed a step and fell,” he explained, and it was all I could do to contain my laughter and not wake up Parker.

“Oh my God! That’s hilarious!” I choked out, and Cam was trying hard not to laugh as well. Jared just huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I was a whole like fourteen or something at the time; I was scarred for life! I hate being the little brother sometimes; had I known back then that’s why you guys all took your girlfriends there I would never have went up there!” he defended himself, and Cam ruffled his hair, feeling sympathetic for her “honorary brother.”

“Poor kid,” she cooed, and he nodded, sticking his lip out.

“Scarred. For. Life,” he repeated, and had all of us chuckling some more. We quietly turned the TV on to Sportscentre, and watched until about five o’clock. Parker was still asleep, but we knew if we didn’t get him up and keep him up for a few hours he wasn’t going to sleep all night.

“I’ll start making some supper, why don’t you two wake him up and find a game to play?” Cam suggested. I nodded, feeling cold as she got up and went into the kitchen, leaving me alone on the couch. Jared seemed to notice I was a little out of it, and instead of getting up and waking Parker he carried our nephew over to the couch and sat down next to me.

“You’re really serious about her, aren’t you?” he whispered, and after a long pause I nodded. No use in trying to cover my ass; I was head over heels and that wasn’t going to change any time soon. I just didn’t want to scare her off.

“Yeah, she means the world to me,” I told him, and he nodded, staring into space for a moment.

“It’s kind of weird,” he said, confusing me.

“What?”

“Seeing you in love,” my face must have registered my shock because soon his lopsided grin was back on his face, and he shrugged.

“I’ve never seen you like this Jord. I mean sure, you’ve told girls you loved them and whatever… but I’ve never seen you so serious about a girl you’re scared to tell her it,” he explained, and after a moment I found it hard to swallow. I knew I loved her, but I didn’t know if she loved me, or if she wanted something really serious… hell I was thinking marriage and kids and growing old together, what if all she saw for us was short-term?

“It’s scary as hell Jay. What if she doesn’t want the same things? I’m not used to being the one wanting long-term, I know how scary it is when you don’t want that and the person you’re with does. I don’t want to do that to her, I don’t want to lose her and I sure as hell don’t want to scare her off. I just don’t know what to do,” I quietly admitted to him, and after a moment he pulled me into a hug.

“I wouldn’t worry too much Jord. She looks at you the same way you look at her,” he assured me, and after a moment I nodded.

“I just hope you’re right bro,”