This Is Not the End

Elise’s POV

“So, Ava, where are we going tonight?” I said, wincing slightly as the tattoo artist hit a sore spot on my upper arm. I was getting a tattoo of an array of butterflies varying in color and size. The tattoo was going to stretch across my shoulder when it was finished.

Ava shrugged. “We could go to Riley’s?” she suggested. The artist working on her ankle scolded her for moving. “Sorry,” she said quickly. Ava was getting a black widow spider tattooed.

I thought about it. Riley was Ava’s friend. Whenever she wanted to get high, she would take us to his house. He had actually convinced me to try Xanax last night. I took more than two, and had more than a few beers.

“We could do that… or we could go shopping?” I counter suggested.

“Do what you want. I’m going to Riley’s once I’m done here.” Ava said.

“Fine, we’ll go to Riley’s.” I said. “Ouch!” I added as the tattoo artist pressed the needle in too hard.

“That’s a girl. You’ll grow to like Riley. He’s an awesome person.” She said as her ankle was being gauzed up.

“There you go, darling. You’re all set! Go take a look.” The tattoo artist told me as he wiped his work down with a rag. I hopped off the chair and went to the mirror. The art was amazing. There were beautiful red, blue, green, purple, pink, orange, and black butterflies dancing up my upper arm. The artist added small stars in the mix, giving the tattoo an added flair.

“I love it! Thank you so much! It’s much more than I expected!” I said, hugging him. Ava and I paid for our tattoos and got in her car. Riley lived in a crappy apartment in a bad part of town. It was much like the area Max grew up in when he was younger.

Ava knocked on his door, and waited. Riley opened the door and smiled at us.

“Well hello again ladies!” he beamed. He looked vaguely familiar to me. He was tall, and had brown eyes that I knew I had seen before, but couldn’t place where. He had long, shaggy dark brown hair that fell around the top of his shoulders. He had tattoos all over him. He was very skinny as well.

“Hey Riley! You remember my friend, Elise, don’t you?” Ava said, hugging him. Riley stepped aside and let us inside. His apartment was untidy, to say the least. The furniture was torn and raggedy and the carpet looked like it hadn’t seen a vacuum since the dawn of time. There were holes in the walls, and the air smelled like marijuana smoke. I stepped inside and allowed Riley to close the door behind me.

“Of course I remember her. She was crazy last night.” Riley laughed. “Well, ladies, make yourselves at home. I was just about to do a line.” He said. Ava smiled and pulled me by the arm to the dirty couch. I sat down gingerly and looked around. Riley settled himself in between Ava and me and started crushing up the white powder that was on the table with a razorblade. He separated three lines. Then, he grabbed a short straw and leaned over and snorted one of them. He offered the straw to Ava. She took it and snorted the other line. I assumed that the remaining line was for me. Ava handed the straw to me. I hesitated then, I took it. I leaned down with the straw poised at my nose, and snorted the last line.

The cocaine hit me immediately. The back of my throat felt numb and my head felt light. I had a slight giddy feeling that radiated through my whole body. I felt more awake than I did when I sat down. I leaned back and drummed my fingers on my knee. Then I leaned forward and grabbed my cigarettes out of my bag. I took one out and lit it. I leaned back again and started rattling my foot. I crossed and uncrossed my legs and smoked my cigarette. I glanced around the room and caught Riley staring at me.

“First time snorting coke?” he asked. I nodded vigorously and continued to smoke my cigarette. “I remember my first time…” he said fondly. He stood up and started to walk out of the room. “You ladies want a beer?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Sure,” Ava said. “Thanks.” I heard the tinkling of beer bottles as Riley walked back into the room. He handed me and Ava our beers before sitting down and opening his. I cracked mine open and took a long swig.

“So Riley, what are you doing tonight?” Ava asked.

“Oh, I’m actually waiting for Chris to stop by. He’s bringing me more shit for tonight. You girls are welcome to stay and party again.” He replied after taking a sip of beer.

“I’m game.” I said. Riley stared hard at me.

“You look like somebody I know.” He said.

“Oddly enough, so do you.” I said, laughing slightly.

After a few hours, Riley’s friend Chris had stopped by with more drugs and booze. I had smoke a few joints and had more than a few beers. I was sitting on the couch, with my head tilted back, watching the room spin. I saw colors swirl around on the dirty white ceiling. I felt someone’s presence beside me. Slowly, I picked my head up and tried to focus my eyes on the person beside me.

“Hey, you enjoying yourself?” I heard Riley say just as my eyes focused on his image.

“Yeah…” I slurred. “The best time. Where’s Ava?”

“She’s somewhere, I’m sure. So… how are you going to pay me for the drugs?” He asked, scooting closer to me.

“I don’t know… I don’t have a lot of cash on me right now…” I said.

Riley was too close now. “Oh, I’m sure we can work something out.” His mouth was right at my ear. I felt his hand running up my leg towards the hem of my skirt. I wasn’t sure if I should brush his hand away or not. I felt his breath on my neck and in my ear. I shuddered, not liking where this was going.

“I can get you cash tomorrow.” I murmured, raising my hand and pressing it against his chest. Riley took my hand and kissed my fingertips.

“Don’t worry about money,” he said, leaning in closer. I turned my head and before I could protest, his lips crashed down over mine. I pushed on him frantically, but he was surprisingly strong. He forced his tongue into my mouth and I could taste the beer on his breath. He pulled back for a moment and looked at me.

“I don’t want to.” I said.

“Oh come on now. I got you as high as you are now. I need some sort of payment.” He said, stroking my hair. “I’ve been really lonely.” He added.

“I… I okay.” As soon as the words left my mouth, Riley was all over me once again. He ran his hands up and down my sides and under my skirt. He kissed my neck and shoulder as his hands toyed with the hem of my tank top. He took it off and threw it aside. I was starting to have second thoughts.

“On second thought …” Riley cut me off by pressing his lips to mine forcefully. Then his hands moved to my skirt. I started pushing him away, but he was stronger than me. He pulled me by the legs so that I was lying down fully. He paused for a moment to undo his pants. He moved my skirt up my body and pulled down my panties.

“No… I changed my mind…” I said softly.

Riley seemed to have not heard me. He continued anyway… I felt tears rolling down my cheeks as he pushed his way in me. He thrust into me roughly. It hurt so bad… I want it to be over. I looked everywhere else, just so I wouldn’t have to look him in the eye. My eyes were drawn to the floor where I saw a condom wrapper laying on the floor, abandoned. The more Riley thrust inside me, the worse the pain was. I closed my eyes and prayed for it to be over soon.

I don’t know how long it took, but Riley finally finished. He stood up and walked out of the room. I sat up shakily, still messed up from the drugs and alcohol. I searched the room for my shirt and panties, but couldn’t find them. I didn’t care about them either, I just wanted to get out of there and get home. I grabbed my bag and slipped out the front door.

As I walked down the dark and eerie street, I wondered where Ava had gone. Why did she leave me alone in there, knowing I felt uncomfortable around Riley? I started crying. I walked until I found a gas station with a payphone. My cell was at home. I stumbled up to it and put my change in. I dialed the number carefully and waited for an answer.

“Hello?” came Jacky’s voice on the other end.

“Jacky, can you come get me?” I asked.

“Turn around.” he said. I turned slowly to find Jacky standing a few feet away. I hung up the phone and walked towards him. Jacky rushed toward me and caught me in his arms.

“What happened to you, love?” he asked. “Where are the rest of your clothes?”

“Just get me out of here.” I said. Jacky nodded and helped me into his car. “Please don’t take me home.”

“I’ll take you back to my place. You’re going to tell me what happened in the morning, okay?” Jacky said firmly.

“Mhm…” I closed my eyes and fell asleep.