This Is Not the End

Jacky’s POV

I was sitting on the couch, biting my nails, waiting and praying to hear something, anything about Elise. I didn’t panic at first when she left, but as the hours wore on, I began getting a paranoid feeling creeping up in the back of my mind. I called Max. He didn’t sound too pleased with me, and told me that he was taking the first flight back to Vegas. He told me to call him if I didn’t hear from Elise, and that he would call the police. Ronnie was sitting beside me on the couch, holding a sobbing Ava against his chest. We exchanged looks. Ronnie shook his head, unable to find anything to say. I sighed.

The front door flew open, and Max stormed in looking shaken with fright. I stood up.

“They found my car and Elise wasn’t in it!” He shouted as he started pacing around the living room.

“What happened? Where was it?” I asked feeling my voice crack.

“The police found it downtown smashed into a light pole. They said that they found blood…” Max said, throwing his hands up.

I pinched my fingers to the bridge of my nose. My heart was pounding in my chest. I heard Ava let out a wail of despair, followed by Ronnie shushing her. No one spoke.

“This is my fucking fault.” I said finally.

“No. No, it isn’t.” Max said, to my surprise. “Elise’s last relationship was brutal, to say the least. She was probably frightened.”

“I told her I loved her. Maybe I said it too soon.” I said somberly.

“You just said what you felt. This isn’t your fault. It’s not Elise’s fault. If anything, its Rodney’s for fucking her up so badly.” Max said. I sat back down on the couch and put my face in my hands. Max sat down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“The police found fingerprints on my car. They’re going to find out who took her.” He said. I looked at him.

“You mean she’s not in a hospital?” I asked.

“The police checked. No one has any record of her being there. They just know that she may be hurt, and that she’s missing.” Max said. My heart leapt into my throat and I choked a bit. Elise was gone…. Missing. My thoughts were sent spiraling toward every scenario I could think possible. I thought about how scared she may be. About how much pain she may be in. About where she may be and who may have her. And the scariest thought hit me: What are they doing to her?

My chest heaved and my stomach churned. My heart raced inside my chest. My hands shook and began to perspire. I felt someone’s hands on my shoulder, rubbing it gently. I felt tears beginning to well up in my eyes as I started rocking back and forth, breathing heavily.

“Jacky, breathe.” I heard Max say. My breathing did not relax, instead it got worse. “Ronnie, do you have a paper bag or something?” he added.

“Yeah…” Ronnie said. A few minutes later, a paper bag was shoved in my line of sight. I took it and breathed into it. Slowly, my breathing relaxed. I picked my head up and wiped my eyes.

“You okay, man?” Ronnie asked. I nodded, still unable to speak.

“They’re going to find her…” Ava said, though she sounded uncertain, but hopeful. I stood up, and went to my room. I needed to be alone. I collapsed on top of my bed and closed my eyes. I thought about the good times Elise and I had shared together.

“Stop it, Jacky! It tickles!” Elise laughed. I looked down at her and grinned. I continued to tickle her sides mercilessly. Elise made mad attempts at grabbing my hands to stop me from my assault. We were on the floor of her apartment. We had been lying on the couch, watching TV, when a thought hit me. I started tickling her, just as I had seen the guy on the program we were watching did to his girl. Elise screamed in shock and delight and started trying to fight me off. She fell off the couch and toppled to the floor. I pounced on her, laughing as I did. I started tickling her again.

Elise was laughing so hard that she was nearly in tears. She gasped for breath.

“OH MY GOD! A FUCKING SPIDER!” she shouted suddenly, pointing to a space behind me. I stopped tickling her for a moment and looked. Then, all at once, Elise pushed me off of her, and scrambled to her feet. It took me a moment to realize that I had been duped. I stood up and lunged at her; she ran to the back of the apartment, and shut herself in her room. I tore open the door and found her standing in the middle of the room.

“Now you’re going to get it!” I laughed, advancing toward her.

Elise screamed playfully. “No! Please no!” she cried out as I lifted her off her feet and threw her on the bed. I climbed on top of her and got lost in her eyes for a second. Then I leaned down and kissed her lips softly.

I smiled at the memory. It seemed so long ago. Then a thought hit me. Her dog. Chip was at her apartment all alone, probably waiting for her to come home to feed him or take him out. I flew up from the bed and ran into the living room.

“I need to go get Chip,” I said, grabbing the keys to Ronnie’s car off the table.

“Want me to go…” Max started saying.

“NO!” I roared flying out the door and slamming it shut behind me. I got in the car, slammed the keys into the ignition, and revved up the engine. It took me five minutes to get to her place. I went inside and was greeted by Chip’s happy bark and him jumping at my heels. I bent down and picked him up and held him close. I could still remember the day we got him.

Elise and I strolled through the aisles at the pound, looking at all the various kinds of dogs there were.

“I want a grown dog.” Elise had told the worker. “And it has to be small,” she added.

“Okay, here are the adult lap dogs we have to offer.” She said, pointing down one aisle. Elise and I went to the designated aisle and looked around. She stood there, biting her nails, trying to choose one. Then, a worker sidled past us and unlocked a cage. Elise’s eyes were trained on him as he pulled out a little black and white dog with a scrunched up face and pointed ears.

“What are you doing with that dog?” Elise asked.

“Putting him to sleep; he’s been here too long and we need the room.” He replied. Elise’s eyes grew wide, and she went over to the worker and took the little dog away from him.

“No, you’re not. I’m taking this one home with me.” She said, turning her back on him as she cradled the dog in her arms. I looked at it. My first thought was that the dog was really ugly, but the more I looked at it, the cuter it got.

“Um… okay then.” The worker said and turned around and started walking in the opposite direction.

“Look at him, Jacky! Isn’t he cute?” she said, holding the dog up to my face. The dog wheezed heavily and sneezed in my face.

“Oh yeah, real cute,” I said, wiping my face. Elise laughed and pulled the dog back to her and hugged it.

“I’m going to call him ‘Chip’,” she smiled.

I was standing in Elise’s room, still holding Chip. I looked around, trying to keep myself from crying. Her dresser had so many photos of her and I together in picture frames. I never noticed it until now. I walked over and picked one up. I stared it with misty eyes. It was a picture that Elise had taken of the both of us with Chip in the middle. We were both smiling and Chip had his tongue lolling out. I chuckled, remembering that just after Elise had taken the picture, Chip had sneezed on her camera. There were many more happy memories sitting on top of that dresser. There was a picture of me, Elise, and Derek in a purple frame.

That picture was taken at mine and Ronnie’s house. Elise was on my back and was holding rabbit ears behind Derek’s head. I leaned in closer to it, and smiled. I saw Ryan in the background of the picture making a funny face from behind Elise and I. Shortly after that photo was taken, Elise had tackled Ryan to the ground for throwing a pretzel at her. There was a picture of that on the dresser as well.

I stood there, thinking about how much she meant to me, and that the photos I was looking at only meant confirmation of just that. I truly loved her. She brought out the best in me. I thought back to the day Max told me I couldn’t see her ever again. I don’t know what sparked me to argue back at him, because in a normal situation, I would have just kept my mouth shut and walked away. But I knew that I had to fight for her. Maybe because then I knew, I knew that she was important to me, even if I hadn’t realized it.

Chip started getting restless, thus signaling to me that it was time to go. I carried the picture of Elise and me out of the room and gathered Chip’s food and toys and got back to the car. My thoughts were circling around one thing: Elise’s safety.

I silently prayed to myself that whoever had Elise would let her go and allow her to come back to me. I didn’t know what I would be able to do with out her.