Got My Heart in Your Hands

Brittany:

I woke up slightly hung over. I rubbed my temples hoping to relieve some of the pain. Looking next to me I saw Jordan stretching. He looked back at me and smiled.

"Good morning." He yawned.
"Morning." I looked at the clock in the van. "It's only ten?" He continued to watch me. I raised an eyebrow.

"What?" He shook his head remaining silent. An awkward silence filled the van. I opened my mouth to speak as there was a knock on the window. There stood an extremely hung over Rob.
"I should get back to the bus. Uh thanks for last night. You know for listening and all."
"No problem. Here I'll walk you back." We both exited the vehicle and started for All Time Low's bus. The door opened and Zack stepped off. He glared at me.
"Get on the bus. Now." He firmly stated. "We're going to the mall and all of the bands are going." I quickly gave Jordan a hug goodbye and ventured on the bus. Everyone was awake and leaving the bus. Soon it was just me and the four band members. Zack pointed to the back of the bus. I sighed and did as I was instructed. He shut the door behind us.
“I’m screwed.” I mumbled.

"Sit." He folded his arms over his chest. "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Oh don't play dumb Brittany. You know what. Why did you do it again? You know you have us all to talk to. You have us all worried sick that one day you'll cut too deep or go too far. Do you even stop to think about how much you hurt everyone? No. You don't. You're just so wrapped up in your own little world where no one exists but you. Well get the fuck over it!" He yelled. I stood up and faced him.
"Maybe I am in my own little world but at least I feel safe there! And if you cared so much, why do you have to yell?! You know that only makes me feel worse about myself! Who knows, maybe I will get lucky enough and cut too deep!" Without another word I marched off the bus and away from the area.

Jordan-
She was different. Something about her was a mystery. She sat next to me in the van as we drove off to the local mall. I glanced at her quickly. Still she stared out the window. I wanted to know what caused her so much pain to go to that level and take it out on herself. She was one of the sweetest people I've ever met. When I parked the van everyone hurried out and walked inside. Except Brittany. Slowly she walked toward the building. She hadn't taken but ten steps as a car came speeding by causing a puddle of mud to fly all over her. She was soaked. I shrugged off my hoodie and wrapped it around her.
"Let's go get you some dry clothes." I took her hand and lead her inside. "I heard you and Zack on the bus. Don't ever think about it, you have them and me if you want to do it again. Zack is just really worried about you, we all are."
"Thanks Jordan. I didn't mean it, it just came out." She frowned. One thing I knew about her, she had the most beautiful smile. I'd do anything to see it again. I wanted to be able to make her smile. I didn’t know what exactly caused her to be like this but I knew it was something. Around noon we all stopped for lunch. Or at least that was the plan. It turned out to be just Brittany and I. We stopped at a Japanese food section of the food court. She remained silent most of the day, only speaking when spoken to. Something had me worried. I didn't know what, but something. I studied the expression on her face, unreadable. I didn't know whether she was upset or worried. All the time she would try to be to other people's standards. Everyone's but hers. She tried so hard to be accepted by people.
"Hey Jordan?" She looked up at me, sadness evident in her eyes. I looked down at her. She stopped before uttering another word. "I-I want to stop the whole thing. I want to go back to how I was before. Not caring about what people thought. I don't want to deal with people looking at me like I'm a freak when they see my scars." She started sobbing. I pulled her into my chest and gave her the one thing she was searching for. A hug and someone telling her that it’s okay.
"It's okay. You can stop it. You might need help but I'm more than happy to help you. You have Zack, Jack, Rian and Alex. We're all here for you." She pulled away and looked up and met my eyes. "And you're not a freak. You're just misunderstood." I wiped away her fallen tears and placed a soft, light kiss on her forehead. Brittany disappeared to the bathroom as the rest of the group met up. Jack looked at me.

“Got a boner yet?” He wiggled his eyebrows as the entire group busted out laughing and I spit out my sip of water on our merch girl, Sevie.