Dear Fate

Olivia did not go back to the suite as planned after tea. She decided to take a walk, to try and clear some of the thoughts floating around in her head. She really couldn't understand how Tommy Ryan, of all people, made her realize that just because she had more money didn't mean she was better than everyone else. She knew that she was better, she just couldn't think that way anymore. And the way he said it, it was as if he were speaking to a child. But then, she really had had the mindset of a child. She really was quite immature for being eighteen, and could hardly believe that she'd been allowed to act that way for so long. All the time she had been thinking herself an adult and calling Holly a child, when really she was just a child herself.

"Penny for your thoughts."

Olivia glanced up to see none other than Tommy Ryan standing beside her, leaning against the rail and looking out towards the ocean. She looked around herself and realized she'd wandered into the third class deck area without even realizing it.

"I was just thinking," Olivia replied, looking out at the ocean as well.

"I realized," Tommy laughed.

"Oh, well, I guess I'm not as grown up as I had thought. And I'm thinking maybe I'm not ready to go off and be married. I mean, I know what is expected of a wife now that I am thinking about it, and I am not sure I am so ready to provide those things," Olivia said.

"So what are you going to do?" he asked.

"What can I do? 500 invitations have already gone out. Everyone who is anyone is going to be there. I must do my duty and be married. It's all I can do," Olivia answered.

"Wouldn't it be easier to be a third class lady at a time like this? I mean, look at your little maid Holly. She doesn't have to be in an arranged marriage to uphold tradition. She gets to meet someone and marry for love. Wouldn't that be convenient?" Tommy asked.

"I never said it was easy being a first class lady. You've got this impression formed in your mind that all I do is get waited on hand and foot. Well a lot is expected of me, as you can see. It's not all fun and games. I must appear a proper English lady. I must always be polite, and never show my true feelings. You have it easy. You may have to work harder for a living, but you have a freedom that I could never have," Olivia replied sadly.

"What brought all of this on? I mean, just last night, you were completely content with your first class status. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I don't know. It must have started with that comment you made about you needing respect as well. It got me thinking and it sort of just snowballed from there."

"Well, I'm glad I made you see the light," Tommy smirked, looking out at the water again.

"No! Don't you understand? I was perfectly content with my life! I was sheltered yes, and very naïve, but I was happy. Happy to have all of my choices made for me and to live as a first class lady should. Now, look at me. I'm thinking for myself, I'm afraid of the future, and I am unsure if I am doing the right thing now," Olivia cried.

"Yes, but aren't you glad that now you know?" he asked.

"No. I was happy before. Jaded and naïve, but happy. Now, I am just scared. And I can do nothing about it."

"You can always do something about it."

"No, I can't, you don't understand! You know nothing of upper class society. I could never just say "Oh, well, Mother, I've learned to think for myself now, so I can't marry this man. Sorry!" It doesn't work that way!"

"Why not? Why can't you be different? Nothing is going to change if someone doesn't take the first step! You could take that first step! You could break this stupid tradition and save millions of girls the same fate! I know it would be hard, but I know you could do it. You are strong, I've seen that, and if anyone could do it, it would be you."

She didn't know what came over her, or why she did what she did, but the next moment she had grabbed Tommy by the lapels of his jacket and yanked him forward, kissing him full on the mouth. He was still for a moment, but when he began to kiss back and reach for her waist she realized what she was doing. She pulled away, shock clearly written on her face.

"I'm sorry. I don't- I'm sorry. I must- I must go," she stuttered, turning and racing up the steps, not at all the graceful first lady she should have been, but rather the insecure girl she was.

Olivia didn't even remember the trip back, but suddenly she was in her suite, slamming the door behind her. She didn't notice Holly in the corner, reading a book, nor did she notice her stand up and walk towards her.

"Olivia? Is everything alright?"

Olivia jumped at the sound, and turned to face Holly.

"Yes, I am fine. What time is it?"

"It's about a half hour until lunch. Would you like me to help you get ready?"

"No, I am not feeling well, I do not think I will be attending lunch."

"Oh, alright. Well, would you like me to stay with you?" Holly asked.

"What do you mean "Stay with me?" Don't you usually eat in here?" Olivia asked, Tommy momentarily forgotten.

"Oh! Well, yes, usually. But I was invited out to lunch, and I thought it would be nice to get out of the suite for once," Holly replied.

"Is this invitation by any chance from the same person who invited you to tea?" Olivia asked, a smirk slowly forming on her face.

"What? How do you know about that?" Holly asked, clearly surprised.

"I saw you leaving with him. Silly girl indeed," Olivia laughed, patting Holly on the shoulder.

"Well, um, yes, that is my lunch invitation. But I can cancel, if you wish," Holly replied.

"Now you are being a silly girl. Go to lunch with him. He is very nice, and really seems to like you," Olivia replied.

Holly beamed at her, "Thanks, Liv. Really."

There was a knock on the door. Holly went to open it, confused as it was still another half hour before James would be there. She opened the door, and to her unpleasant surprise, saw Michael Haim there.

"Good afternoon. I was wondering if Miss Olivia Mae was in?" he asked in his silky smooth voice.

Holly glanced back to see Olivia frantically shaking her head before sneaking into her bedroom. Holly furrowed her brow in confusion before turning back to Mr. Haim.

"I am sorry, sir, but Miss Olivia is not feeling well. She has gone to lay down and expressed she would see no one. Perhaps you could check back at dinner time?" Holly said politely.

Mr. Haim gave her a nasty smirk, "Certainly, Miss Holly. I will return at dinner time. Give my best to Miss Olivia. And to your officer friend."

He gave her one last unpleasant smirk and turned and left. Holly stood blinking in shock for a moment before closing the door quietly.

"Is he gone?"

"Yes, he told me to give you his best. And my officer friend, as he called him. He knows too?" Holly asked, turning to Olivia as she came out of her bedroom.

"Well, he did escort me to church services this morning and to tea, so naturally he was with me. I am surprised he recognized you, though," Olivia replied thoughtfully.

"Why would he say that? Why would he even bring that up? It makes me very uncomfortable. Perhaps I should cancel my lunch plans," Holly said unsurely.

"Don't be daft Holly. That was what he was trying to do. Now, think no more of it and enjoy your lunch date," Olivia said dismissively.

Holly smiled back at her just as another knock came on the door. Holly went to answer it but before she did, Olivia called out to her.

"You look lovely today, Holly."

Holly beamed at her before walking to the door and answering it.

"Miss Holly, you look lovely. Still."

Olivia giggled to herself at the officer's nervousness before walking to the door.

"Alright, Mr. Moody. I believe we were acquainted before. I got a very good impression from you, so I am happy to let Holly attend lunch with you. Just be sure that if any harm should come to my friend here, you are the one I will hold responsible," Olivia said.

"Yes, ma'am," Mr. Moody laughed, bowing to Olivia slightly.

Olivia smiled at him, patted Holly on the shoulder, and then shut the door behind them. She turned to go back to her bedroom, perhaps to take a nap, when there was another knock on the door. Turning back to look at it with a perplexed look on her face, she stood for a moment until the knock sounded again, just as polite and soft as the first. Thinking it must be Holly having forgotten something, she strode over to it.

"Honestly, Holly what could you have possibly forgotte-"

She stopped short, because standing in front of her was not Holly, but rather a certain Mr. Tommy Ryan, the ever present smirk gracing his face.

"What- how- but- how did you find my room?" Olivia asked, looking up and down the hallway to see no one before pulling him inside and shutting the door.

"I said I found something with your name on it and was hoping to return it personally so as to earn some kind of reward. You've no idea how gullible some people can be," he smiled at her.

"They just gave you my information? How could they possibly know that you weren't some murderer or something?" Olivia asked in shock.

"Because it was a certain Miss Holly Spencer that I asked. She was only too happy to point me in the right direction. I wouldn't have bothered with a story, but she was in the company of an officer so I thought it might look suspicious if I didn't. Are they together or something?" he asked, looking around the room in interest.

"Why? Do you want her for yourself or something?" Olivia asked, a slightly bitter tone in her voice that she was internally cursing herself for.

"Nah, I thought they actually looked rather sweet together. Especially with her all dolled up like that. She looks rather pretty without that frumpy maid's outfit she usually wears." Tommy said, striding over to the fireplace to inspect the mantle.

"Oh?" Olivia raised an eyebrow, not daring to say much more so as to keep the tone out of her voice.

"Why? You jealous of me looking at your maid or something?" he asked, turning to face her.

"Certainly not!" she cried indignantly.

He smirked at her before turning around and looking at the flowers on the mantle.

"So, what is your reason for being here?" she asked, going and sitting on the sofa.

"I just wanted to know what happened down on the steerage deck," he replied nonchalantly.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," she replied, shifting nervously in her seat.

"Oh, I'm sure you do know. While I was expecting you to come around and start liking me as person, I didn't expect THAT. Not that I minded, though," he added as an afterthought.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to I just- I don't know. You were speaking honestly to me, more honestly than anyone ever has, besides Holly, and I don't know. I just got caught up in it," Olivia replied, as honestly as she could.

He came and sat beside her.

"Well, you don't go around kissing Holly like that. Or at least, I don't think you do," he gave her a sideways glance.

"Definitely not!" she cried crossly.

"Well then, it must have been something more than my honest speaking," he laughed at her sour face.

"You brought me back down to earth, made me see how wrong I was and treated me like I should have been treated. You stood up to me and made me see that the world does not, in fact, revolve around me. Holly has told me countless times that it doesn't, but you're the only one who showed me," Olivia replied.

The smirk slowly slid off his face, to be replaced by a genuine smile.

"Well, well, well. The lady admits her defeat. Throws pride to the wind and admits that for once, maybe, she might be wrong." He didn't say it in an arrogant tone, but as though he was speaking lovingly to a child.

"Was wrong. No maybe about it," Olivia admitted, looking down into her lap.

She felt his hand cup her chin and pull her face to meet his. She looked into his eyes a moment before he slowly leaned forward and their lips met in the middle. It was a slow, simple kiss, and with all the strength in her body, Olivia pulled away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "but you were wrong about me. I am not strong enough and I still belong to another. I must go through with this. I have no other choice."

"Get off with me. I know I cannot give you much, but I can give you the freedom you long for. I can love you and take care of you for as long as I live. Just say the word and I will," he whispered, leaning in again.

The temptation was too great and she leaned in once more. The kiss lasted a little longer than the first, but again, Olivia pulled away.

"And what of Holly? Where would she go? She is only seventeen and I am positive you cannot support the both of us," Olivia replied.

"If I'm not mistaken, Holly seemed like she had a suitor of her own. And if not, I would do everything in my power to make sure you were both taken care of. We may not have food all the time, or the nicest clothes, but we would have each other," he replied.

She looked into his eyes, and saw nothing but honesty there. Slowly, she nodded her head and kissed him once more.