Warning

I hopped up on Lucy’s countertop, taking a carrot stick from the carefully arranged tray she put together.

“Hey, that’s not for you.” She said, slapping the carrot out of my hand. I frowned and she looked over at me, her facial expression going from playful to serious and concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this?” she asks. We were over at her house to watch the Winter Classic, the big outdoor hockey game that had been promoted for months on end, the one that required filming and HBO and all sorts of other things that had just been obnoxious to deal with. There were other girls that were coming and admittedly, I felt a little left out. I wasn’t a hockey wife or girlfriend anymore but Lucy was still my friend and I was also close to Kris’s girlfriend Liz who was coming over as well. There were a couple others who I knew but wasn’t particularly close with, which made me nervous but I had to get over it.

I just shrug and grab another carrotstick and take a bite before she can steal it back. “I’m fine. I’m being all healthy now or whatever. I went on a date.” I reminded her and smiled. It was true though. I did go on a date. And a romantic date at that, one that lacked scans of brains and tumors and spines, one with a Neal Hansan. And it was great. It wasn’t perfect and he wasn’t Sidney but I was moving on. I heard the doorbell ring and I hopped off the counter to answer it. “Watching the game is healthy. It’s moving on.

I walked through the hallway and shoved the rest of the carrot into my mouth and opened the door to see Liz and Alyssa, Jordan Staal’s new girlfriend. She was a small blonde who talked an awful lot about subjects I knew nothing about and was the kind of girl who you assumed meant well, but always wanted to punch. Alyssa came in and gave me a huge hug, suffocating me with her heavy perfume and dangling jewelry. “Oh..hi.” I said through a mouthful of carrot, surprised. Liz gave me an apologetic smile and Alyssa finally pulled away.

“Oh honey, I am so sorry.” She said as they both walked in and I shut the door. Alyssa’s little dog that she carried in her huge Louis Vuitton bag yapped and I heard Lucy and Marc’s dog, affectionately named Puck, respond with a bark of his own.

“Sorry? About what?” I asked, confused and Alyssa looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

“About Sidney and the break up. We’ve all heard, he looks like a mess. And you do too. You know, Clinique has a great line of conceal—LUCY!” and with that, Alyssa flew away, leaving me in her dust. I smiled at Liz again and we walked into the kitchen and set her cookies down.

“She means well, I think.” Liz says and I just shook my head with a laugh, giving my macaroni and cheese a stir. The doorbell rang again and Clara, Tyler Kennedy’s girlfriend walked from the hallway into the kitchen holding a giant red velvet cake.

“Ooh, I’ll take that.” I said, grabbing it out of her hands and setting it on the counter. I saw Alyssa and Lucy take a seat at the bar, the TV going on in the background as the game started.

“Oh hello, Violet.” Clara says and I just smile at her too, feeling the general trend of empty smiling and pitying glances. I turned off the mac and cheese and pour it into a huge bowl and set it on the counter

“Okay, all the food is done! And the game is on so you know, just get whatever.” Lucy instructed and I grab three of Liz’s cookies, a slice of red velvet and two jalepeno poppers and go sit down on the couch. Alyssa and Lucy both followed with their food and I sat in between them.

“Wow, that’s a lot of carbs.” Alyssa commented as I shoved a cookie in my mouth.

“I like carbs.” I say flatly and turn my attention to the tv. Sidney was skating around and NBC was quick to show many close ups of him. I just ate my cake.

An intermission and some more game time later, we were paying less attention to the game than to our conversations. I was still trying to pay attention but the argument between who had the better wedding, Reese Witherspoon or Kendra Wilkinson had me glancing at my pager.

“Stop it.” Lucy says, giving me a whack. “You are not leaving to go to the hospital. It’s New Years and you were there last night. Don’t you have your fill of carnage?” she asks with a light smile, but I know she’s serious.

“You can never have too much carnage.” I say, causing the conversations to go down. “And besides, New Years trauma’s beat out any New Years Eve traumas. They’ve had a few hours to process and all the drunken stupidity wears off and so the injuries are usually worse and the surgeries are way better.”

“That’s horrible!” Alyssa says and I just shrug. I was tired of pretending to be someone else.

“That’s life. You have no idea the kind of stuff you get to see during the big holidays. This thanksgiving, I was called in to pull a giant knife out of some guys head. He was totally fine too.” I said with a smile and Alyssa shook her head.

“That’s so barbaric.” She replies and I roll my eyes.

“You probably won’t be saying that when you get in a car accident, God forbid, and need surgery.” I reply back smoothly and turn my attention back to the screen just in time to see the hit.

Sidney was coming down the ice smoothly and another player on the opposing team slams into him and he falls on the ground, staying down for awhile. I hadn’t realized it, but I had stood up upon seeing the impact and after a few moments, I finally became aware of my position change and sat back down. Lucy looked over at me and I just looked at the screen.

“I’m hungry. Anybody else hungry?” I said suddenly and walked into the kitchen hurriedly, feeling Lucy follow me. I put six jalepeno poppers on my plate and another four cookies and a slice of cake, adding in a side of buffalo wings and celery. I picked up a cookie and chewed thoughtfully.

“Are you okay?” she asks me and I nod, picking up the can of whipped cream and shooting it in my mouth.

“Yep..” I say and grab four jalepeno poppers and pace around the kitchen, thoughtfully cramming a few in my mouth. Alyssa and Clara had come over to get more wine and gave me an odd look as I stared up at them, my mouth filled with peppers. “You guys hungry?” I asked with my mouth full and they shook their heads and walked back into the living room. “I’m just starving.” I say and look into Lucy’s freezer. When we were in college, she always hid ice cream and chocolates in there and right now, I needed food. I grabbed a big container of cookie dough ice cream and a big spoon and hopped up on the counter.

“I think you’re worried about him.” Lucy inferred as I shot more whipped cream into my mouth.

“People get hit in hockey all the time. I’m just hungry. Don’t read into this and make it something it’s not. “ I said and took a bite of ice cream. God, this was good. It would have been better between two of those cookies Liz made…

“Okay, then you’re going psycho. Look, the girls will be leaving soon to go meet Tyler and Kris and Jordan and I’m staying here. You have been up for like 48 hours straight and you need to stop—“ Lucy tried to grab the spoon away from me but I resisted. “—stop eating. Give me the spoon, Violet.” She said and yanked it away violently. “And you need to go lay down. So they’re leaving, Liz just told me Kris texted her and as soon as they leave, you’re hitting the couch. “ she cracked a smile then. “I’ll even let you use my batman blanket.”

“There’s no point. I have to be up in like four hours to go back to the hospital. I’m on call tonight.”

“Please look at my face. “ Lucy said flatly. “Now tell me if it looks like I care. “

“It doesn’t.” I said, watching as the girls all came back over.

“Oh hey Luce! I just wanted to come over to say bye!” Alyssa said, stepping over Puck in her high heels. Her little dog yapped at him but Puck was clearly over him and I sympathized. I was tired of Alyssa too. She looked over at me with a last pitying glance. “You know, I told my cousin about Sid being single so he’ll probably be out of your hair soon and you can both move on! It’s a lot easier to get along with your life when he’s taken.” She whispered to me and I didn’t even break into a smile. There wasn’t much of a point. “And I know a girl who transferred into dermatology after thinking she was going to go through surgery. She was in my sorority, not in my pledge class but I think the year before? Oh well. Anyway, you don’t need to stress out. Everything will be fine!”

I just nodded as she stepped out of the house along with the rest of them, giving an obligatory wave as the door shut.

“Can I ha—“

“No. Get on my couch.” Lucy said sternly and I frowned. “See, and that’s how I know you’re not okay. Because you would have made that dirty if you were in the right state of mind.” I obeyed and grabbed one of the throw pillows from the loveseat and she threw her blanket at me roughly. “Go to sleep, you look like crap.” She said and I grinned.

“I look better than you.”

“Not possible.” She said and walked out of the room leaving me alone in their giant living room. It wasn’t very hard to fall asleep, not after the countless surgeries and the patients. And soon, it was just all black.

And peace.

---

The front door opened and Lucy heard the familiar laughter of her husband and his teammates. It was only a few hours later and Violet was sprawled out on the couch, face down, curled up in blankets. Lucy ran over to the door and put her finger to her mouth, demanding silence from the players that walked in. Marc, Jordan and Sidney all looked at her oddly and she pointed to the couch.

“Violet has been up for two days straight, give her some peace and quiet. “ She said, turning her attention to Sid and giving him a whack. “And you had to go get yourself knocked down like that and freak her out. She ate half the thing of ice cream and like nine jalepeno poppers. “ her voice sounded like she was yelling, but it was contained at an angry whisper. She then gave Jordan a whack. “And your girlfriend is annoying. And her little dog too.” Lucy then smiled at Marc. “And hey, good game.” She said, giving him a kiss. Jordan and Sid silently groaned and moved into the house quietly. He took a seat on the loveseat near the couch, watching Violet.

“I’ll just sit here with her, if that’s okay.”

---
I heard my pager go off and I grabbed it instinctually, groaning and flipping over only to see Sidney Crosby standing right in front of the couch.

“I let you call all the shots because it was my fault that we’re over and I get it. I’m the bad guy. Except I’m not. And I know you said you can’t see me but I can’t not see you so I’m asking—“ he paused and shook his head “—no I’m telling you that we’re going to be friends. I got hit and shit happened today and you know who the first person I wanted to tell was? You. So I don’t care if you don’t want to see me. “

I looked up at him, slightly confused and still lost in the daze of sleep. But I pulled myself together quickly and got out of the couch, grabbed my shoes and headed for the door. He followed swiftly as I pulled open the door to my car. I started the car and rolled down the window as he leaned closer.

“Last time we were just friends, I slept with you. On a conference room table if I recall correctly, while my fiancé was in the same building. I can’t do that to someone again and I know that if I’m around you, I will. So I can’t be friends with you.” I said and he frowned, looking at me with that expression that I hated.

“You’re seeing someone else?” He asked slowly and I stared out of my front window before putting my car into reverse.

“Bye, Sid.” I said, pulling out of the driveway, leaving him there stunned.