Warning

I woke up to the sound of my pager buzzing incessantly by my head and groaned. The light was streaming from the window next to my bed and I felt a rush of panic hit me as my eyes frantically searched for the alarm clock. 10:13 AM. I felt oddly dizzy and still heavy with fever, but I knew that I had to at least go into work or do something productive. I couldn’t stay in Sidney’s guest bedroom anymore—.

A flood of realization washed over me and I turned over, seeing Sid still sleeping next to me. His arm had been draped around me over the night and I when I pulled away, I felt the warmth on my body. I sat up and crawled around on top of the bed, trying to move gingerly as I groped around the covers for my cellphone. Sidney grabbed my hand and pulled me in, making me fall closer to him. “I have to find my phone.” I said, his hand leaving mine for my forehead.

“You’re still really warm, Vi.” He said and I shrugged, lifting his large arm to look for my phone. He laughed and shook his head, handing me my blackberry before pulling me close again. I curled up in the crook of his arm and dialed the hospital number that flashed on my pager.

“Hi, this is Dr. Anderson. I was just paged.” I said to the nurse, waiting for a moment as she went to go find out who called for me. A very familiar voice came to the phone.

“Dr. Anderson.” Neal Hansan said into the receiver, and I could hear the hint of a grin in his voice.

“Violet.” I said firmly, smiling myself. “And I’m sorry I missed the surgery. I had the flu and went home.” I explained fluidly, leaning in closer to Sid. “Did it go well?”

“Went into cardiac arrest three times, so we didn’t operate. I had Dr. Savard give him an EKG and check his cardiac vitals and we can’t operate safely until at least next Monday, so you didn’t miss anything. I just wanted to check in with you.” He said and I felt my excitement grow, before two consecutive sneezes ruined the effect. Sid passed me a tissue and I silently thanked him, sitting up. “Bless you.” Hansan added.

“Thanks. And that’s great. I mean—that’s not great, you know because cardiac arrest isn’t…good.” I said lamely and Hansan laughed. For a second I missed that laugh and I imagined the way his blue eyes sparkled when he was truly happy, which seemed to be often. I frowned a little, instantly regretting the way that I had treated him during everything. If only I hadn’t been so stupid, so stubborn.

“I know what you mean. I took more detailed scans of the tumor today though.” He began and the excitement sparked once again.

“And? Is it better than we thought? The original scan only showed it going through T2 and I mean, you could have easily cut the cord and—“

“It’s worse.” He said, his voice shifting and growing much more somber.

“How extensive is the damage?” I asked, mimicking the mildness in his tone.

“It’s eating through T3, completely killing any chance of him walking. Unless I’m in there for at least 15 hours but—“

“—you’re risking infection and it doesn’t sound like his hearts too healthy. How are his lungs?” I asked, feeling Sid’s warm brown eyes on me.

“Not too good either. Putting him under anesthesia for that long is….it’s risky at best, Vi.” He paused briefly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

“No, it’s fine. I like the informality.” I said with a small laugh, even though I was genuinely amused.

“Anyways, I just wanted to call to fill you in and see where you went to. I was trying to find you all day yesterday. You’re on my service today right?” He asked and I immediately threw the covers off of me, scrambling over Sid, and tripping as I got out of bed and knocking over the back of chocolate. I could hear Hansan laugh again as I rushed around the room and grabbed my sweater and jeans. Sid just laid there, bewildered as I pulled off my pajama bottoms and stood frantically tried to turn my jeans from inside out with one hand, in only an oversized Penguins t-shirt.

“Crap, crap. I’m coming in right now. I wasn’t supposed to be there till 11:30 but I can—“

“—no, get better. I need you for that surgery Monday and you can’t be sick. Make sure you’re completely better, Anderson. It’s the case of a lifetime.”

I dropped my jeans and moved back closer to the bed. “Thank you, Dr. Hansan. Could you get one of my interns to e-mail me the chart, maybe take a couple pictures of the scan?” I asked, seeing Sid’s face darken slightly as I mentioned Neal’s name.

“Neal. I like the informality. And I will be sure to do that.” He joked. “Bye, Violet.” He said and I said bye back, hanging up the phone before crawling back into bed.

“Everything okay at work?” Sidney asked and I sneezed again, shivering a little. The momentary rush of adrenaline I felt from talking surgery had quickly disintegrated into another blurry bout of fever. I nodded and slipped under the covers, resting my head on his chest as I felt my eyes grow heavy.

But then I felt something indescribable seize me, a hard pain that ricocheted through my body, making my eyes snap open and my hands fling to my side. I swallowed sharply, beginning to breathe uncomfortably before sliding out of bed and going to the bathroom. “Vi?” I hear him call after me, but I lean in the toilet and the pain in my side becomes much more excruciating than before. I flush and lean against the counter opposite of the toilet, closing my eyes for a moment while still maintaining what seemed to be a Vulcan death grip on my side. Sid came through and knelt beside me and soon enough, through dizzy pieces of blackness, I felt him pick me up and take me somewhere else. That was all I remembered—except for thinking at the end that my life was basically a joke.