You Lost Me

Matt's POV

I stepped out into the chill Bowling Green air, taking out a cigarette and lighting it up, as I leaned against the bus.

We decided to make a quick stop, because Krystin demanded Brian to buy some women things for her. We had no other choice, but to stop at a truck stop.

I exhaled the smoke, thinking about these past days. I was truly shocked, when I learned that Emile was my son. Of course, his resemblance to me was undeniable. However, the news hit me like a ton of bricks. For three years, I was living the life I've always dreamed of. Then, suddenly, she appeared. And not alone - with a kid. With the kid, I didn't know anything about for three fucking years.

Now, thinking about our first encounter after years, I admit, that I did overreact. I shouldn't have said those things I did. But I couldn't help it. I was shocked and angry at the same time. I wasn't angry with her. I wasn't angry, that she didn't told me about the child. I was angry with myself. I was stupid and careless back then when I first met her. I just wanted to fool around and have fun.

This was the aftermath of my stupidity.

A three-year-old boy.

I dragged in some more smoke and exhaled it, closing my eyes.

'I don't want you to be his father! ' the words repeated themselves in my head. I started to feel like shit. But I quickly shook that feeling away. I didn't suppose to feel bad in the first place. I never met the kid, I didn't raise him, I was just a stranger to him. Yeah, I'm his biological father, but this doesn't mean anything. A father was supposed to take care of his child and I didn't. I never was his father.

I finished my cigarette and, dropping it to the ground, I turned around, climbing into the bus.

"You started to smoke more often." Brian spoke behind me.

"Got everything?" I asked him, avoiding the topic. I knew where this was going and I didn't want to talk about it with anyone.

"Yeah. This should be enough for the rest of the year." he chuckled, as he closed the bus' door. Everyone were inside, just casually siting and chatting.

Danny sat behind the wheel and started the bus, driving out of the truck stop, followed by The Evidence bus and two roadie buses.

Our next venue was in Detroit, Michigan and it was about hour and a half long drive. I felt tired and drenched out, only by thinking about the past, so I decided to take a quick nap.

I entered the bunks area and, after climbing into my bunk, I closed my eyes, drifting into a dreamless sleep.



"Okay, guys. Tomorrow's the next show, so get some rest and be at the venue at one pm precisely." Larry, our manager, said, entering the hotel afterwards.

All of us grabbed our baggage and followed him.

"Ah, finally! A normal place to sleep!" Nina cried out, twirling around in the lobby. Johnny held a sour look on his face, as he had to drag both, his and Nina's suits inside.

"Yes, can I help you?" A receptionist asked me, batting her eyelashes at me.

"Yeah, we booked… five rooms under the name Jacobson." I said to her, absolutely uninterested.

"Okay, just a minute." she looked at the computer and after typing something in, she turned around to give us key cards. "Here you go. If you'll need anything, you can contact me." she emphasized 'anything', looking directly into my eyes.

"Yeah, thanks." I said coldly, grabbing the cards and walking up to the guys. I handed out the key cards to everyone and they the girls dragged their boyfriends to the elevators.

I decided not to go to my room immediately, but to hang out in the hotel's bar. I felt like I needed to drink down all of my anger, that had been building up for the past few days. I didn't know, how right this decision was, but I had to do something. An moping in my hotel room for the rest of the day wasn't the solution.

I walked up to the elevators and, after entering one, I pressed the button, which read 'Bar'. Going one floor down, I excited and found myself in a darken bar with few people looking some comfort in a shot of 'Patrone'.

I sat in a very corner of the bar, hiding myself in the shadows. After my first drink arrived, I gulped it quickly, immediately ordering more. The barmen gave me a knowing look and brought my order quickly.

After gulping couple of shots, the memories started to come flooding back. I tried to concentrate and occupy my mind with something else, but it didn't help.

I remembered the night Jordan and me went on our first date. I remembered what we've done after the nice diner. It was the most amazing night of my life.

We entered my hotel room, lights still off. I closed the door soundlessly and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. The only light that illuminated the bedroom were the street lights.

She was looking at me with her dark chocolate orbs, biting her lip innocently. I slowly walked up to her, starting to kiss her neck gently. She craned her neck to side, giving me a better access. I slowly kissed down to her collar bone, slowly unbuttoning her cotton shirt. Kissing her skin gently, I slowly took her shirt off and threw it somewhere.

At the same time, she began undoing my belt, throwing it aside, too. She slowly undid my jeans and started to take them off.

Taking her jeans off, too, I picked her up, carrying her to the bed. I threw her onto it, taking my shirt off. She followed my every move closely, as I climbed on top of her, kissing my way up to her lips.

"Take me." she whispered lightly into my ear as I kissed her neck.

"Your shots, sir." the bartender put three glasses onto the table. I thanked him quietly and drowned them quickly, wanting to forget the memories, that made my heart ache.

Leaving 50 dollar bill onto the table, I wobbled to the elevator pressing 7th floor. I steadied myself, trying to think normally. I knew that I was in that kind of state, when even the minor thing could've pissed me off. So, I needed to avoid everyone and quickly reach my room.

The elevator dinged and I stepped out of it. I started making my way down the hallway. Suddenly, Jordan and that guy, Dylan appeared, chatting happily.

All the emotions, that I was bottling up, exploded.

I wobbled up to them and stopped in front of them. Dylan stopped, glaring at me. At first, Jordan didn't see me, but after seeing Dylan's expression change, she turned her head forward.

Her eyes held anger and pain. I smiled slyly and laughed.

"Here you are, Jordan!" I laughed bitterly again, stepping closer to her. "Just the person I wanted to see!"

"Walk away." Dylan said lowly, ready to hit me any moment. I ignored him, continuing to talk with Jordan.

"You know what, I forgot to thank you for ruining my life!" I grinned, piercing her with my eyes.

Her eyes narrowing into slits and she stepped closer to me - only inches apart.

"I hate you." she spat out, tears about to form in her eyes.

"Have you even considered abortion before having that thing?" I asked her, knowing that I just crossed the line.

Before I could even understand what was happening, Dylan punched me in the face with all his might. I stubbled backwards, falling onto the ground.

He took Jordan by hand and walked away. I was left here, sitting on the ground, holding my bleeding nose. The punch that I received woke me up from my drunkenness.

I picked myself up and started walking into the direction of my room. Reaching it, I swiped the key card and entered it. The lights where off, so I kept them that way. I walked into the bathroom. Turning the small light above the mirror, I looked into my reflection. I will definitely have a black eye and fucked up nose.

Washing the dried blood off my face, I walked up to the phone next to my bed. I dialed the reception's number and waited.

"Reception." the same girl answered.

"Yeah, hi." I said.

"Ah, it's you." I could feel her smirk, as she said that. "What can I help you with?"

"How 'bout that 'anything' thing, you promised me?" I smirked, too. I was too stressed out and I needed to release it somehow. And she was willing to do it, anyways.

"As you wish. I'll be in your room in fifteen minutes." she said and hung up. I exhaled deeply and laid on the bed, rubbing my eyes.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all… I felt something, that I couldn't understand. But I tried to brush it off.

Hearing a knock, I stood up and opened the doors. The receptionist was leaning against the frame of the door, looking sultry as hell.

Soon, the thing I was feeling, disappeared. I sent her a smirk, letting her in. She slowly walked up to the bed and sat down, letting her hair down from the bun.

Taking my shirt off, I walked up to her, immediately pinning her down on the bed. She bit her lip, roaming my body with her eyes. My ego raised and I pressed my lips to hers, shoving my tongue down her throat forcefully.

This was going to be wild.