Taking a Sad Song and Making It Better

I didn't know what my life was going to turn out like. I know I wasn't going to get the house with the white picket fence with a wife, three kids and a dog. I knew one day I was going to marry a man. I thought one day I was going to marry him.

The groom that was waiting at the alter for his soon to be wife. The soon to be wife I was walking down the isle with. I don't know why I was toturing myself with this. With handing this girl, my best friend over to the man I thought would end up my husband.

Why can't life go the way we want? Is fate really so fucked up? Is happiness really something we have to fight so hard for? Is being happy so difficult?

I guess it is.

The minister ask who gives the bride away. I always thought that was stupid since you can obviously see who it is but I say "I do," anyway. I take the bride's hand. I watch as the groom holds his hand out.

I shouldn't have come. I don't know why I did. I don't know why I was torturing myself.

I bring the bride's hand and put it in the groom's. I can feel their eyes on me. I close my eyes as my hand touches the groom's. Memories of how those hands touched me in the past crashing into me, taking my breath away. I try to breathe as I'm assulted by memories. It feels like hours later before I open my eyes that are filled with tears but I know it was only seconds. I do the only thing I could do.

I let go of the bride's hand and walked away.