Trapped

"Kymmie, is that you?"

Standing in four-inch heels with my hair and makeup done, I couldn't have felt anymore nervous staring into those brown hues. Brent had abandoned me the minute his brother stepped outside of the house, leaving me to drown in my own river of nervousness while his brother watched. I couldn't figure out why he was looking at me the way he was or why the emotion in his eyes looked conflicted, but whatever it was, it made me wish the ground under my feet would open up and swallow me whole. I didn't like the situation we were in, with him staring at me the way he was and me not knowing what to say. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and I hated every bit of it. But I didn't know what to say or do to change it.

This was a man I used to talk to for hours at a time, a man I used to claim I had feelings for, yet here I was rendered practically speechless by the sight of him. He was just as I remembered him; tall, handsome, and somewhat intimidating. Those chocolate eyes set above high cheekbones and a pierced nose may have been looking at me with conflicting emotion but they were still my favorite feature of his. Right now, they were currently rimmed with traces of smudged eyeliner, and even though it would make most guys look stupid, it only added to Brian's sex appeal. His once long hair was now shorter and spiked up in a wild sort of way atop his head, which was different for me to see
him with but not any less Rock Star than his eyeliner eyes or his pierced nose. The tattoos he always said he'd get were just visible under his fitted v-neck, covering his arms and knuckles almost completely and adding to his sex appeal even more.

His sex appeal was through the roof, and judging by the way he held himself, he was more than well aware of it.

He was standing in front of me wearing fitted jeans and a black v-neck that hugged his upper torso, with multiple belts resting on his hips. He may have been nearing his thirties, but he looked better than ever right now, probably better than me.

For the first time in a very long time, I was actually wearing a dress. It was shorter than the other dresses I'd worn before, barely reaching my mid-thigh, but it wasn't the length that made me uncomfortable. It was the way it hugged my curves and left little to the imagination that bothered me. I usually covered myself up more, but this time I let the girls talk me into wearing a revealing dress because it looked good on me.

Tired of the awkward silence growing between us, I finally gathered up the courage to speak to him. "So. . . Mr. Birthday Boy, how's your day been so far?"

He smirked at me, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked me over. "Its been fun." He chuckled. "I can't complain when the attention is on me."

"Of course not," I replied, sarcastically. "You always did like to be the center of attention."

"Still do, sweet-cheeks," He gave me a cheeky grin as he lit a cigarette and leaned against the wall behind him. "You look good, Kymmie."

I grinned. "You don't look so bad yourself, Haner."

"Yeah, but shit, Kymberlin, you're not a little girl anymore." He murmured between smokes of his cancer stick. "You're legal now, and since your brother isn't around to yell at me, I can say without fear that you're smokin', babe."

Leave it to Brian Haner Jr to be so blunt with his words.

"You make it sound like I wasn't pretty before."

"You've always been pretty, Kymber. I just wasn't supposed to think so because your brother would've killed me." He shrugged. "But fuck it, you're a grown ass woman now."

"Wow, the birthday boy is a rebel!" I mocked, rolling my eyes at him.

"Now, come on, Sanders," He pouted. "I'm not a boy, and it's not nice to be mean to me on my birthday."

"Whatever you say, birthday boy,"



Once Brian was finished with his cancer stick, he smothered it with the sole of his sneaker and then proceeded to drag me inside the house. Seeing the chaos going on in the house made me appreciate and find comfort in Brian's hand holding mine. A person could get lost in the hundreds of bodies pacted together in the living room, but Brian kept a firm grasp on my hand as we pushed our way through the intoxicated crowd towards what I assumed was the kitchen.

It was much more breathable and far less crowded in the kitchen area. There were maybe 10 or so people in the room, all of them laughing and having a good time. It made me smile to see them having so much fun away from everyone else.

Brian pulled me over to the bar area, where I spied bottles of alcohol sticking out from buckets of ice on top of the bar. He grabbed two green bottles of Heineken from one of the buckets and grinned at me as he popped the tops off our bottles. "Its been way too long, Kymber."

"It sure has," I replied, accepting the opened beer from him. Leaning against the bar, we too began to converse as we sipped on our beverages and watched those around us.

"The guys should be around here somewhere," He murmured awhile later. "I was talking to them earlier. . . . Speaking of the guys, do they know you're here?"

Shaking my head, I mumbled no just as the kitchen door opened up and the air escaped my lungs. Long, dark hair framed a face that caught my attention. She was tall, pretty, and just as I remembered her; minus the new hair color. Pretty hazel eyes, pale skin, and a prominent nose; they all added up to Valary DiBenedetto, the woman my brother was in love with and also married to. She was with Leana and another familiar face; Michelle. Neither of them noticed me until they walked over to speak with Brian.

Michelle was first. She grabbed a Smirnoff Ice from one of the buckets before greeting the man of the night. "How's the party going, Haner?" She mumbled, peering at him through her unnecessary aviators.

He laughed. "Its fun," He answered her. "Even better now that she's here," He pointed in my direction, causing Michelle to look over at me and gaining the attention of the other two.

"Kymmie. . . ?" I heard Val mumble. "Shit, when did you get in town?"

I wanted to tell her that I never really left town, that I was here all along, but I decided against doing so and instead, lied through my teeth. "A couple days ago," I told her. "I didn't tell anyone because I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, I'm surprised," Brian butted in as he took a sip of his German beer.

We laughed.

"Oh, goodness," Val mumbled, throwing her arms around me. "We've missed you, Kymberlin."

"I've missed you," I replied back, grinning at her. "I hear you made an honest man out of my brother."

She suddenly became uncomfortable-looking, almost like she thought I would get mad. "We, um . . . well, no-one could find you, and um, well, we didn't want to wait, so we just. . . "

I laughed, stopping her from continuing. "Val, stop. I'm not mad. I understand,"

She just grinned and pulled me in for another hug. "Oh, it's good to see you," She exclaimed, squeezing me. "Wait until the others see you!"

Michelle just rolled her eyes at her twin. "Come on, sis, chill. I'm sure Kymmie would like to knock back a few drinks before you start dragging her around everywhere." Then, she turned to me. "Hey, Kymber, it's been a while."

"It sure has, 'Chelle." I replied, smiling at her.

"We'll have to plan a day to catch up." She mumbled. "But for now, I think I'll let you finish catching up with Haner." She winked at me before dragging her sister out of the room.

Leana quickly smiled at me before she followed the twins back to the main part of the party.

"So, where have you been all this time, Kymbo?" Brian questioned after the girls were gone. "We've been looking for you."

I sighed, slowly swallowing the beer that was already in my mouth. "I, uh, had some things to take care of. You know, with college and everything." I nodded. "But I'm here now, so everyone will just have to catch me up on everything that's happened. Starting with you," I smirked, pointing one of my freshly manicured fingers at him. "I'm digging this new look of yours."

He chuckled, shaking his head at me as he took a sip of beer. "I could say the same about you," He murmured, rather smoothly. "You got any men I should know about?"

"Hm, let's see," I pretended to think about it. "Well, yes; yes, I do." He raised an eyebrow at me. "His name is James, and he's my soul-mate." I giggled, pretending to swoon.

"Is that so?" He questioned, eyeing me playfully. "Well, I hate to have to inform you of this, babe, but your soul-mate seems to be married to someone who isn't you."

I sighed, dramatically. "I know, it's such a shame! We could've had such a wonderful life together!" I shook my head. "I'm afraid he's left me heartbroken over it all. Oh, what's a girl like me to do?"

This caused Brian to smile at me. "Drama queen," He teased, causing me to shrug nonchalantly. "Since you're heartbroken, I'm guessing that means you're a single woman."

"Its not very nice to assume things, Mr. Gates." I replied with a grin. "But since we're guessing here, I'd say you're not anymore taken than I am. Am I right?"

"Maybe you are, and maybe you aren't," He smirked, leaning towards me. "But that's for me to know and you to find out."

"Oh, so you're one of those," I giggled.

He laughed, too. "I really have missed having you around, Kymmie."

I smiled at him, feeling my cheeks heat up in response to the intense look he was giving me. "I've missed you too, Brian."

Like all good things, our moment soon came to an end as we were suddenly joined by another person. A person I would come to dislike very much in the near future. "Am I interrupting something?"

Gorgeous blonde hair with a fake tan and colored contacts made up the woman before me. I didn't know who she was or even why she was standing there, but she was relatively gorgeous, and I found myself feeling less than average compared to her. Whoever she was, she had Brian's attention as soon as she opened her mouth.

He turned to her, grinning wide as he put his beer down on the bar. "Chrystal," He mumbled. "There you are,"

She grinned, nodding her head in reply. "Yeah, here I am," She looked me over briefly before facing him again. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah," He nodded. He got up from his seat and walked to her side, throwing his arm around her shoulders as he reached her. "Let's go somewhere a little more private, babe."

She smirked in reply. "That sounds great,"

Before they left the room, Brian stopped and turned to me with his signature smirk. "Don't go anywhere, okay?"

I rolled my eyes but nodded at him, anyway. "Whatever you say, birthday boy." He just grinned at me before leaving the room with 'Chrystal' under his arm.

That's when I found myself sitting at the counter in the kitchen, all alone and unsure of what to do with myself. I could hear the music pumping through the speakers in the next room, but I wasn't comfortable enough to go in there and dance like I would have when I was younger. Besides that, I had to pee, and I had no idea where the bathroom was. Lucky me!

I finished the last of my beer before deciding to get up and look for the nearest bathroom. Getting through the crowded living room was a disaster. I'm pretty sure I almost died several times just trying to make it to the stairs, but after a few bumps here and there, and maybe a few scratches, I finally made it to the stairs, only to bump into a very familiar face.

He was so different from the way I remembered him. Tall, muscular, and... Skinny? The last time I saw him, he was this chubby guy with a heart of gold, but looking at him now, I almost didn't recognize him. He was covered in tattoos and even had a couple facial piercings, but his eyes were still that gorgeous green color I used to love so much. It was his hair that was different; it was darker now, almost black and resting on top of his head in a messy sort of uproar. I was more than happy to see it was him that I ran into.

"My hero!" I joked. "You have saved me from a terrible fate!"

He didn't laugh. Instead, he stumbled over his words until my name was the only fathomable one that escaped from those plump lips of his. I couldn't help but grin even wider at him. He was still the guy I knew when I was younger, only older and definitely cuter. After a proper reintroduction between the two of us, followed by excited hugs, I had him show me where the bathroom was, and after I relieved myself of my natural duties, we were off to party some more. Only this time, it was Zacky holding my hand as we moved through the monstrous crowd in his best friend's living room.

"You're all grown up," He told me later when we were finally outside of the house and he was smoking on one of his cancer sticks. I just smiled. He had no idea just how 'grown up' I truly was.

"Me? What about you, Zachary Baker? You look so different!"

He laughed. "Yeah, I guess we've both changed these past few years." He mumbled, scuffing his converse on the concrete underneath us. "So, I guess the rumors aren't true, then?"

"Rumors?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him, having no idea what he was talking about. "What rumors?"

He puffed on his cigarette for a moment, blowing the smoke out of his mouth in the opposite direction, before he answered me. "The ones saying you were married to some jackass that beat you and your baby was the only reason you stayed with him,"

"Um, wow," I swallowed the lump in my throat before continuing. "That's definitely not true,"

Not all of it, my conscience screamed for me to say, but I kept my mouth shut instead. I wasn't ready to air my dirty laundry to everyone just yet, especially not at a party for Brian's birthday.

"Good," He smiled. "I wouldn't wanna have to kill the son of a bitch for hurting you."

I smiled at him, feeling my face heat up. "Well, I'm a single woman, Mr. Baker, so you'd be killing a nonexistent man."

"Good thing he doesn't exist," He mumbled, puffing on his cigarette. "I'm too pretty to go to jail."

"I'm so sure, you silly man,"

He just laughed at me. Then, he got serious. He even grabbed my hand next to him. "Are you sticking around for awhile, Kymber?"

I squeezed his hand, grinning at him with green eyes of my own. "I'd like to," I replied. "But I'm not sure how Matt will react to seeing me. We haven't spoken since we got in that fight, you know."

This time, it was his turn to squeeze my hand. "I'm here for you, Kymmie, if you ever need me."

I can't explain the look he gave me. It was almost like those pretty orbs of his were looking right into my soul. I nearly voiced all my troubles to him right then and there, but I stopped myself. Now wasn't the time for that sort of thing, so instead, I just nodded my head and told him thank you.

"So, who all knows you're here?"

"Well, Brent Haner brought me here, and Johnny and Jimmy knew beforehand simply by accident. I saw Val and Chelle in the kitchen earlier, and of course, I was talking to the birthday boy until he left me to go upstairs with some girl named Chrystal."

"Oh God, is she here?" I heard him grumble. "I hate that Chrystal chick." He puffed on his cigarette again, before continuing on with his previous questions. "So, basically, your brother's the last to know?"

I shrugged. "Not if I see him before Liv,"

"Well, the Berry family is on vacation this weekend, so that reunion will have to wait."



My "reunion" (as Zacky put it) with my brother wasn't nearly as easy-going as the two I had with Zacky or Brian. Nor was it as brief as the one I had with Michelle and Valary. It was far from what I expected but I really shouldn't have expected any different.

The moment my eyes met his hazel ones, I could feel my whole world begin to crumble right in that moment. I had spent the majority of the night feeling like my old self, feeling happier and better than I had in a long time, but all it took was that one long hard stare from him and all the good just disappeared from my body. It was like he could see through my facade and could tell that my happiness was anything but real — that it only went so far before it became depression.

I hated that feeling, hated how my brother could see right through me even when I had my walls up. It was the type of feeling that brought water to the back of my eyes and had me heading to the backyard for some fresh air to stop it.

I'll admit that running from my brother made me cowardly and possibly pathetic, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't face him with my walls crumbling the way they were. I was feeling guilty and ashamed, and I just knew I would confess everything in a matter of seconds if I stayed there. One small touch and I would be a complete mess, crying and confessing everything in my brother's arms in hopes of him forgiving me for all that I did or didn't do over the years. It was inevitable.

I couldn't lie to my brother the way I could the others. I couldn't look him in the eyes and pretend that my time with TJ never happened. I couldn't smile and act like everything was okay when I clearly knew it wasn't. I was running from a dangerous man that would kill me in a heartbeat, for heaven's sake! That wasn't normal; and neither was living with my parents at 25. Clearly, things for me were far from okay, and even though it would be better for me in the long run if I aired out my dirty laundry to these people (to my brother) I was more than okay with them not knowing. That doesn't mean I wasn't feeling guilty about it, though.

"Hey," I heard a soft voice whisper as they slid to the ground next to me. "You okay?"

When I looked over, it was Zacky who was sitting next to me, looking me over curiously with those beautiful eyes of his that I adored. Those same eyes were kind and nonjudgmental, and in a way, they made me nearly weak in the knees. I'd be a fool to think that his kindness wasn't attractive because it was. After everything I had been through, his kindness was the one thing that made me feel better at the moment.

I tried to blink back the tears in my eyes as I nodded my head at his question. "I'm fine."

"That's what people say when they aren't fine, Kymberlin." He told me, nudging me with his shoulder in an attempt to get me to look at him. "You wanna try, again?"

"I don't think I can face him, Zacky."

"Why not?"

"Kymber?" Zacky and I both looked up to find my older brother towering over us. The next words out of his mouth were addressed to Zacky, but his eyes never strayed from me for even a second. "Can you give us a minute, man?"

Zacky nodded. "Yeah, man," He turned to me and patted me on the back before getting to his feet. "Come find me when you're done, okay?"

I just nodded my head as I watched him walk away, silently dreading the words that were bound to come out of my brother's mouth. I didn't know if he was mad at me for practically falling off the face of the earth for a while or if he was just upset with me for the same reason. I never knew with him. Sometimes, he was angry; other times, he was just upset. It was just down to whether or not he would let his temper get the best of him, and right now, I was hoping his temper had taken the night off.

"Kymberlin?" He murmured, taking a step closer to me. "What are you doing here?"

Keeping my mouth closed was proving to be a difficult task as he stared down at me with those honest hazel eyes of his. The biggest confession of my lifetime was on the tip of my tongue and trying to force it's way out of my mouth with every second that ticked by, but I kept telling myself that now wasn't the time to confess my sins — that I wasn't sitting in church with a guilty conscience. I was sitting in front of at least 200 pounds of pure muscle, instead.

It was hard, but I managed to keep myself from crying and smiled up at him in reply. "I'm here for the birthday boy, silly."

"I meant out here, Kym. What are you doing out here?" He corrected. "One second I saw you looking at me and the next, you were gone."

"I thought you might not want to see me," I confessed.

"Why would you think that?" He questioned, giving me a strange look.

"The last time we spoke wasn't exactly a very nice experience, Matthew."

"We were kids, Kymmie. None of that matters now."