Nerd

It’s raining, which makes me feel like I’m trapped in a cliché youth novel where everything is so awful in the beginning it somehow manages to affect the weather. Which is stupid. Rain is rain, but I do kind of feel like it’s a bad omen. I feel like the sky is crying for me.

“Stop worrying, Katie,” my mother tells me, chipper despite the weather. She’s always in a good mood. Sometimes she makes me want to scream. Not everything is great. “You’ll make friends in no time. You’re such a pretty girl,” she says, which just reminds me how awful people are to judge you based on your physical appearance and not whether you can or cannot keep up with an intelligent conversation.

I’ll admit, a pretty face is loads of fun to look at but how can you be friends with that person if there is nothing behind the pretty face.

“Don’t be so pessimistic, Katelyn. Stop trying to find someone who’s… what is it? Real? Just focus on being a teen for once. Live a little. Get in trouble, make me mad, I dare you.”

I roll my eyes. Mothers are supposed to want what’s best for you, and look out for you, but no – my mother wants me to live a little; have sex with strangers, drink despite my being under-aged, she doesn’t even care if she catches me anymore. The truth is, I’ve always been the responsible one. Always looking out for her.

She’s the one who scampers home at six in the morning, drunk out of her mind, her bra in her pocket and her shirt on inside out. Now that’s a good way to set an example for your child – note the sarcasm.

“I’ll try to be more superficial, mom.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” she scolds me, putting on her blinker to turn. She’s actually doing a pretty good job of driving on the correct side of the road. I was a little scared to get in the same car with her.

“I know what you meant,” I sigh, pulling out my iPod.

“Of course,” my mom says sarcastically. “Block me out.”

“I just want a little peace and quiet, okay? You’re the one who’s making me move here anyway. Shouldn’t I be mad at you? Shouldn’t I be giving you the silence treatment?”

She shakes her head. “Whatever, darling. Listen to your precious music, which my job bought you – so don’t be mad. We’re moving because I got offered a job that pays twice as much as the previous. We’ll be able to afford loads more.”

I nod. “Money is everything, you know?” I tease.

I guess you could say I’m quite the pessimist. Can you blame me, when we live in a world where awful things happen every day and no one has yet proved to me that they are deeper than a puddle?

“Listen to your music or cheer the hell up,” my mother grumbles.

I put my earphones in and press play. Escape the Fate fills my ears and as I stare out the window, I feel myself drift to sleep.



School sucked back home, but here…? I don’t even know what to expect. What are these people going to be like? And what is Southern, really? My friend, Richie said it’s ‘a way of life’ but I didn’t understand.

Isn’t the South just… the South? It’s a direction, not a way of living.

I ponder this while I pull on my sweater and brush my teeth. I do my makeup quickly and then grab my things and bolt out to my mother’s car. We moved here just in time for the second semester of school to start. Yay me.

My mom drops me off in front of the school and I walk into the attendance office to get my schedule. The secretary points me to a door down the hall. My guidance counselor. I knock timidly on the door and then push it open.

“Mornin’ sweetie, how can I help you?” she asks. The plaque on her desk says Mrs. Marbert.

“Uh, hello, I’m Katelyn Burrs. I’m supposed to get my schedule,” I say, feeling mental. I blush.

“Ah, Kate, I’ve got it right here,” she grins, holding out a paper to me. “Follow me and I’ll show you where’s where.”

I didn’t understand but I followed her. As we were walking through the office I saw a boy sitting in a chair, waiting. He seems… different, but I don’t know what it is. He’s wearing a Domo shirt, which I find excruciatingly adorable. He’s got these big Urkle glasses pushed up too high on his nose and even sitting down I can tell he’s hella tall. He smiles at me as I follow Mrs. Marbert out, but he won’t meet my eyes – It’s really cute, in a really nerdy way.

I walk down the winding hallways, feeling overwhelmed. I’m going to get so lost. “This is your American history 101 class,” she says, pointing to a door. “Mrs. Lovett is the teacher. You’ll love her, everyone does.” She points to another door. “This is your Pre-Calculus Honors class, with Mr. Jenkins – we can get you moved if you don’t like it – we get a lot of complaints about the difficulty… and him in general.”

I just nod.

We round the corner and come to another door. “Zoology with Mrs. Woolston and lastly, right next door is Spanish 3.”

A bell rings overhead and she hurries on. “I’ll walk you back to first block. You just come see me if you need anything during the day, alright?”

“Okay,” I say softly.

“Here we are,” she says, stopping at the door. “Just go on in, and have a wonderful day!” she says brightly and then walks back down the hall the way we came.

I step timidly in the classroom. “Morning!” the woman from behind the desk says.

“Good morning,” I mumble back.

“Kate Burrs?” she asks.

I nod, stopping in front of her desk.

“You’ll sit in the third row, fourth row back. Go set your things down and I’ll get someone to walk you to Mrs. Ralston’s office to get an ID.”

I go to put my things down.

“Ah, Ben, would you mind very much walking Miss Burrs to Mrs. Ralston’s office to get an ID?” I hear her ask. When I turn around I find the nerdy boy from the office. I smile at him.

Before he can answer the person who has come in behind him answers.

“I’ll do it,” the guy says. I can tell just from looking at him he’s popular. He’s got the smug smile and the gorgeous face. He winks at me and I frown.

“Alright, then Mr. Johnston – have her back before the bell rings please.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says, throwing his bag to the floor. He slides an arm around my waist as he leads me out the door. I sigh. I can already tell that today is going to be a long day.