I'll Never Be the Same

“How would you feel if I decided to actually date Darren?”

Becca stared at me, her mouth open slightly. She looked like she was in some sort of shock. It was kind of funny. I felt she would probably be against in some way, so I was surprised when she finally smiled.

“I’d be happy for you,” she said. “I’ve never seen Darren go after a girl this much.”

“I just don’t understand how you can be fine with all this,” I said, shaking my head as I continued to eat my lunch. “Especially after what he did to you.”

“He didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to do,” Becca said. “I was just upset because after that I expected things that I shouldn’t have. Darren had made it perfectly clear to me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship.”

“I just don’t know what to do,” I said, pushing my food around on my tray. “It’s like I’d be going against everything that I believe in.”

“I think you should just go for it. You really need to just relax and not over think things so much.”

---

As I sat in English class at the end of the day, sitting next to Darren, I couldn’t help but think that Becca was right. I really did over think things too much. Everything and everyone around me were telling me to just go for it and be with Darren… but it was just…so confusing.

It was hard to believe that at the beginning of this school year, I had loathed Darren’s very existence. And now, well, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him.

“Hey. Earth to Hailey.”

My surroundings came into focus as I realized class was over. I looked over at Darren who was grinning goofily at me.

“You alright?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, trying out a smile. “I just zoned out.”

“I could tell,” Darren said, standing up. “So, are you ‘tutoring’ me in English today?”

“Yeah,” I stood up as well. “I have to go to my house, but I can just come over to your house in about an hour.”

“That works,” he said. “My mom said she was working late tonight.”

---

When I arrived at Darren’s house, I felt nervous and jittery. I had no idea yet what I was going to say; I hadn’t really made any decisions. I guess I was just trying not to think too much about it. Finally, though, I got out of my car and made my way up to Darren’s front door and knocked. It took a minute, but finally the door answered and Darren smiled at me.

“Hey,” he said. “About time you got here.”

“I’m five minutes early!”

Darren laughed as he opened the door wider and allowed me inside.

“So what’s on your agenda for today?” Darren asked.

“I’m not sure,” I said. “Um…I’ve been thinking and, I-I don’t really know…”

I looked up at Darren who was watching me with a look of amusement on his face. I smiled at him and before I could properly think or make any solid decisions, I leaned in quickly and kissed Darren. I pulled away quickly, shocked by my own actions.

“Sorry,” I said quietly, smiling at him. Darren just shook his head before leaning in, his hand in my hair as he pressed his lips back to mine, kissing me softly. He pulled away.

“It’s no problem,” he whispered, grinning at me. I couldn’t help but grin back.