I'll Never Be the Same

And as I had predicted, everything came crashing down for Becca. And of course it happened in the middle of the day.

Becca and I had agreed that we would meet for lunch at our usual table and so far everything was going fine until I left the lunch line to head to our usual table. Becca was there and she wasn’t alone. Darren was sitting close next to her, telling her something, which, by the look on Becca’s face wasn’t good. It was happening, at now of all times. Welcome back to high school.

I sighed, still watching them and trying to figure out if I should just go over or sit somewhere else until Darren left. I knew he wouldn’t be there too long; his break ups were even shorter than his relationships.

Just as I was about to sit at a table near me that was unoccupied to wait it out, Darren looked at me his eyes catching mine. He smiled. A surge of anger went through me. He actually had the audacity to smile at me while he was sitting next my best friend whose heart he was currently crushing. I slammed my tray of food onto the table in front of me a bit more than I had anticipated and I instantly looked down to make sure I hadn’t spilled my food everywhere.

When I looked back up, Darren was gone and Becca was alone, pressing her hands tightly against her eyes in an attempt to not cry. I knew it was futile. I knew as soon as I sat next to her she would press her face against my shoulder and start sobbing.

I had the urge to just turn around and leave the cafeteria without even eating, but I knew Becca needed me. I picked up my tray and walked over to our table, sitting down in the same seat Darren had been occupying just a few minutes ago. As I predicted, Becca’s face found my shoulder and I rubbed her back soothingly as she cried, neither of us saying a word. I had a feeling this would be a long week.

---

I arrived at my last class of the day, English, before most of the other students had arrived. I noticed that instead of desks, this class had tables with two chairs at each. I was kind of glad that I didn’t have this class with Becca. I had two classes with her after lunch and I had to sit there and listen to her sniffling the entire time. I understood that she was hurting, but she should have known that this would happen.

I decided to sit in the back of the class. Normally I’d sit somewhere in the middle, but I didn’t really feel like being surrounded by people. I just hoped that either there wouldn’t be too many people in the class or that someone who wouldn’t bother me would sit with me.

I rested my face in my hands, resting on my elbows on the table. I was ready for this day to be over.

“Hey,” I looked up and of course Darren was standing there, smiling down at me.

“What do you want?” I asked, wishing he would just go away.

“Can’t I just be nice?” he questioned back. I sighed and decided I’d just pretend he wasn’t there, maybe then he’d leave me alone. But no; of course I had no luck in this situation. He walked around the table, pulling out the chair next to mine and sat down. “Looks like we have a class together!”

“Obviously,” I answered. The teacher walked into the room, so at least Darren would have to stop talking.

“Hello everyone!” she said. “I hope everyone’s first day has gone well. I’m Mrs. Shepard and hopefully this will be a fun year for us all.”

She smiled and her gaze went across the room, taking in all of our faces.

“I hope everyone got the seat they wanted, because this will be your seat for the rest of the year,” she said next. “It’s just easier for me to keep things organized.”

I groaned inwardly. I was going to be stuck next to Darren everyday for the rest of the year. Could this day get any worse?