Weightless

Chloe was still searching for Marcus. She held her third cup of Diet Coke and rum in her hand tightly By now, she was completely trashed. She stumbled into an unknown boy, who gripped her forearms lightly to keep her from falling over. She couldn’t help but giggle. He smiled in response.

“I’m Matt.”

“I’m Chloe.”

“Nice to meet you, Chloe.”

Chloe giggled again, biting the lip of her plastic cup. She didn’t know what she was doing. Was she so far gone that she was actually flirting? That wasn’t normal Chloe. Marcus could show up at any second and Chloe was standing here flirting with a boy. She needed to stop this.

“I’m sorry but I have to go now.”

Chloe took a step away and then felt a hard grip on her upper arm. She squeaked in surprise. Marcus stared her down. Chloe paled. He turned and offered Matt a dazzling smile.

“Who’s your friend, Chloe?” He asked through his teeth. To anyone else, it probably looked completely normal, but Chloe caught the underlying rage in his voice.

“Th-this is Matt. I just…He just…I fell. He caught me.” Chloe stammered.

“Thanks for that, Matt. I’m Marcus, Chloe’s boyfriend.”

The tension between the two boys could have been cut with a knife. Marcus’ grip on Chloe had tightened with every word spoken. She kept a smile plastered on her face though. Matt obviously didn’t know what to say, and Chloe just wanted to get out of there before she pissed Marcus off even more.

“Can we please go?” She pleaded, tugging on his arm. He shot her a harsh glare.

“I suppose so, although it looked as if you were having such a wonderful time. Maybe I should just leave you two alone.”

Matt shifted his weight uncomfortably. Chloe wanted to apologize, but she didn’t dare. Marcus would just take it as another sign of her infidelity.

“No, Marcus, I was just looking for you. Please, I just want to leave.”

He stared her down for a few moments. Chloe’s eyes were overflowing with guilt. He finally gave a gruff nod and jerked her away. She quickly looked over her shoulder and shot Matt an apologetic look. He looked stunned. She felt terrible. It wasn’t his fault at all. It was Chloe’s, like always.

Chloe’s legs were unstable beneath her, the alcohol hindering her balance. Marcus just continued to pull her along, not even caring that she was practically falling with every other step. There was murder in his eyes so Chloe stayed quiet. He shoved her roughly into his car and slammed the door shut behind her. Her fingers nearly caught in the door, but Chloe pulled them away at the last moment. He got in the driver’s seat, slamming the door again, and sped away from the house. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel. Chloe pulled her legs to chest, draping the cardigan she found on the floor around her shoulders. The silence held unspoken threats and Chloe tried not to shake with fear. They arrived back at her house all too soon, and Marcus began dragging Chloe around again. He pushed her through the front door, following closely behind.

The house was dark, the sound of Chloe’s fumbling feet echoing in the massive space. Her heart pounded as Chloe forced her up the stairs and into her room. She didn’t know whether or not her parents were home, but in the end it wouldn’t matter. Marcus had taught her to stay quiet or experience even more pain. Even if she did let a cry slip, her parents wouldn’t care.

Chloe didn’t know why she didn’t just leave. Zack and his parents had tried so many times to get her to move in with them, but Chloe couldn’t. Zack had tried to force her once, and then Marcus had showed up while everyone else was out and dragged her kicking and screaming back home before delivering so many punches she passed out for nearly six hours. It was the first time she had ever tried to leave him. The first time he had ever hurt her that badly.

He had stayed with her though, while she was unconscious. And then nursed her back to health, apologizing at every chance he got. He didn’t mean it, he said. He was just scared. He loved her too much, he couldn’t lose her. After that, Chloe hadn’t even talked to Zack for a month and a half. It took her another six months to leave Marcus again, this time enlisting the help of Zack and her Aunt Carla to make sure she stayed away. They had charged him with battery, and she had let them, earning her a restraining order against him. Chloe hadn’t done it for the reasons everyone thought though. She had done it so that she stayed away from him. By that point, Chloe had realized how worthless she was and how much better Marcus deserved. It was the only way to make sure that he would move on and find someone that wasn’t fat or a whore or a bitch or just a complete and total piece of shit.

Chloe stumbled backwards, hitting the edge of her bed, as Marcus closed and locked the door behind him. Chloe’s eyes widened as she watched him stalk towards her. She scooted backwards on the bed. He crawled to her and pushed her so that she was lying down, straddling her hips. Chloe let him gather her wrists in his hand, trapping them above her head. He caught her lips in a rough kiss, pushing against her lips with more force than was comfortable. He didn’t attempt to hold his own weight, crushing Chloe’s bony hips beneath his. Chloe tried to squirm away. Marcus growled and Chloe immediately realized she had made a mistake. Marcus’ mouth became even more violent against her own, his teeth biting at her delicate flesh. His free hand moved to the small of Chloe’s back, digging into her spine causing her to arch into him. His lips moved to her ear, teeth sinking into the space right under her ear. She whimpered.

“You fucking slut.” His breath sent shivers of fear throughout her body.

Suddenly, Marcus pulled away altogether, though he still stayed sitting on her small body. He stared down at her. Chloe felt tears gather in her eyes at his expression. The liquid pushed Marcus over the edge and his hand collided with her cheek. Chloe’s head snapped to the side at the sudden slap.

“How dare you try and flirt with a guy in front of me!” He yelled in her face. “You’re useless, Chloe. I don’t even know why I bother with you!”

Another slap sent Chloe’s head spinning the other way. Marcus’ hand still held hers captive and the pressure he was applying was becoming unbearable. Chloe was sure her bones would snap at any moment. He pulled her up roughly by her wrists, moving away at the same time so that they were both standing. He released her, throwing her to the ground.

“I thought you loved me! I thought we were going to make this work! And the very first time I take you out you leave me for another guy? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

A swift kick to the ribs send a cry of pain through Chloe’s lips. Marcus sneered with disgust at the noise. His foot connected with her side three more times. Chloe tried to keep her squeals of pain inside, but she just couldn’t.

“I do love you! I’m sorry!”

Marcus didn’t speak, instead choosing slam his foot down on her right knee. Chloe screamed out. She felt herself wrench upwards and found herself face to face with Marcus. His eyes burned through to her soul sending explosions of sheer terror rocketing through her system. He lifted her off the ground by her elbows.

“You’re a fucking liar.”

Chloe felt herself being thrown into the nearest wall. Her head hit the hardest, a slight crack sounding at the contact. Chloe slumped to the ground.

“Get up.”

Chloe couldn’t bring herself to move. Her muscles weren’t responding to her brain. Her body was no longer under her control.

“I said GET UP!”

Marcus lifted Chloe again. Her eyes rolled as she tried to focus them on Marcus. They fluttered shut for a few seconds before she forced them open again. One of Marcus’ hands moved to grip her neck, settling in almost the exact place it had the last time. He squeezed. Chloe gasped, her senses suddenly on high alert. She stared into his hate-filled eyes as breathing became harder and harder.

“Please.” She rasped out. “Please, I love you.”

Marcus let go of her neck, tossing her to the floor again. Chloe wheezed, struggling for breath. He crouched down next to her, searching her face with his eyes. Chloe felt blackness creeping in. Their eyes connected and Marcus tenderly brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

“Why do you make me do this to you, Chloe?” His whisper was pained. Chloe’s eyes filled with hot tears of regret. She caused him so much pain. She was the absolute worst.

“I can’t even look at you right now. I’ll call you when I figure this all out. I still love you, Chlo, but I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

The door to her room creaked open and then shut again. Chloe felt a surge of adrenaline and rushed to the bathroom. Alcohol and bits of food found their way out of her stomach through her mouth. Chloe collapsed next to the toilet, tears falling freely from her eyes. There was vomit on her dress and bruises littered her body. She hated this. She hated Marcus for doing this, even if it wasn’t his fault. She hated Matt for talking to her, even though she was the one that ran into him. And, most of all, she hated herself for being weak and a waste of space. She hated herself because, in the end, everything boiled down to her. In the end, everything was Chloe’s fault.

Chloe’s sobs were getting louder. She rolled into a ball, her ribs screaming in protest. Chloe cried louder, the pain flooding her body. The adrenaline was ebbing from her blood, and Chloe felt herself growing heavier. Within minutes she had passed out cold.