Weightless

While Alex slept, Chloe laid in his arms, thinking. Her mind had been occupied with nothing except for the way Alex’s body felt on hers, but now that everything was quiet, she was brought back to reality. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Marcus had been right all along. His words had been nothing except for the truth. Chloe was a slut. A fat, disgusting slut. Here she was, naked in bed next to a boy she wasn’t even dating. A boy who, despite how he made her feel, probably wanted nothing more than sex from her. He was fucking leaving the next morning anyway. And even with Chloe going with him, there would be so many other beautiful girls there he would leave her. This must have been his goal all along. Convince her she might actually be worth something and then fuck her and move onto the next girl. She should have listened to the things people said about him at school.

She felt queasy and sprinted into the bathroom, her stomach contents flooding into the toilet as soon as she made it there. She collapsed on the tile. A glint of silver caught her eye and she got up to drag the scale out from underneath the sink. As she moved to step onto it, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. For one second, Chloe saw a skinny girl standing there. But then, her eyes refocused and she saw herself: thighs that jiggled, hips the size of Texas, a stomach encased with fat. Chloe gagged. She had no idea how Alex had just touched her when she looked like this.

He was such a fucking liar. His words had been nothing more than pretty webs weaved to get her exactly where he wanted her. Chloe wasn’t skinny. She wasn’t beautiful. She wasn’t smart. She was nothing.

Chloe slowly stepped onto the scale, bracing herself for the worst. She tried to take deep breaths. A quiet beeping sounded and she looked down. It took everything she had not to collapse into a sobbing mess at the sight of the number.

112 pounds. You’re are the biggest fucking waste I’ve ever met.

The voice was back, but this time Chloe decided to embrace it. She sucked her tears back inside and slipped into her bedroom once more. Alex was still sleeping and Chloe ignored him completely as she dug out the running clothes she hadn’t used in over a week. She soundlessly pulled them on and made her way out. She tip toed past the other bedrooms. She jotted down a short note, stating that she was headed out for a run and would be back soon. It was just barely 1:00 in the morning so she doubted anyone would even wake up before she finished her run, but Chloe had no plans to return to the house until she was sure Alex had left.

Her feet carried her around and around the neighborhoods. She didn’t even pay attention to the paths she was taking or the scenery around her. Her mind was filled with too many thoughts to focus on anything else. She knew then and there that she had to leave. She couldn’t stay here any longer. And she definitely couldn’t go with the boys on tour. She had to stay as far away as possible. It was at that moment Chloe decided she would only see Alex one more time before leaving for good. She would tell him exactly how she felt before disappearing.

***

Alex woke up to a cold and empty bed. He frowned when he didn’t see Chloe anywhere. Had she really left? After the night they had just shared together, had she really just left him? No. She couldn’t have. Alex figured she must have just woken up before him and gone to the living room or the kitchen. He pulled the blankets off of himself and pulled on his clothes from last night. Even though Carla and Mark allowed him to spend the night with Chloe on occasion, they wouldn’t approve of Alex exiting the room in just his boxers and they definitely wouldn’t approve of what had happened last night.

There was sound coming from the kitchen and Alex smiled. Chloe had to be in there. However, when he entered the room, he didn’t see anyone except for Mark and Zack. They didn’t look too worried, so Alex forced himself to stay calm as well.

“Hello, Alex. I didn’t know you stayed the night last night.” Mark said. He didn’t sound upset, but Alex knew he wasn’t 100% comfortable with Alex and Chloe’s ‘sleepovers’ the way that Carla was.

“Uh, yeah, I wasn’t planning on it, but Chloe asked me to and she was having a rough night so…” He trailed off awkwardly.

“See, I told you the note wasn’t anything bad. She probably just needed some space.” Zack said, looking pointedly at his father. Mark sighed.

“Okay, Zack, I believe you. I’m going to go finish getting the bags together. Remember, Rian and Jack will be here in an hour or so. Make sure you’ve got all your stuff ready.”

Alex waited until Mark had left the room to turn on Zack. The boy didn’t look the least bit concerned. Zack firmly believed that Chloe had gotten 100% better now that Marcus was gone and Alex had entered the picture. Alex frowned.

“What note?”

“Oh, here.” Zack handed a piece of paper to Alex and started sipping his coffee.

“She went running? I didn’t even hear her leave…” Alex murmured.

“Chloe’s always been quiet.” Zack shrugged. “And she’s always been a runner. I know she won’t go anywhere too far. She probably just needed to think. Don’t worry, Lex. I’ll have her call you when she gets home.” Zack smiled.

“Okay.” Alex still felt uneasy, but he really did need to leave. All of his things were back at his house and he had to give his parents a proper goodbye. “I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“Dude, chill.” Zack laughed. “She’s fine. And she’s coming with us, so it’s not like you aren’t gonna see her.” Alex smiled at this and nodded before disappearing out the door.

Zack finished his coffee and was rinsing his cup out when Chloe finally stumbled through the door. He turned to her with a smile on his face, but it soon fell as he took in her appearance. Chloe looked absolutely drained. Her eyes were bloodshot, but not from crying. She obviously hadn’t slept. Zack walked to her and Chloe collapsed into his arms. She didn’t cry, just took deep breaths, filling her lungs with his scent.

“I have to leave, Mop.” She mumbled.

“We are, Bo. The bus is gonna be here soon.” He whispered back, stroking her hair.

“No. I have to leave Baltimore.” She pulled away to look him in the eye. “I can’t stay here. And I can’t come with you.”

Zack’s eyes widened at her words. He didn’t understand. What exactly had happened last night? Her and Alex had seemed perfectly fine when they left the party. What had changed all of that? She squeezed him tightly and opened her mouth before Zack could ask. For the next 45 minutes she discussed with Zack and her aunt and uncle until they finally came to a conclusion. By the time the rest of the boys had showed up, a decision had been made and Chloe was locked inside of her room. They loaded up the bus, Zack quickly and quietly explaining that Chloe would not be coming with them. Jack was visibly upset. Rian frowned as well. The drummer had gotten used to having the small girl around. She was like the sister he never had. Jack had every intention of dragging Chloe out of her room and strapping her in the back of the van, but Zack wouldn’t allow it. Though he didn’t share the details, he managed to explain enough to the boys that they realized any attempt at making her come would be fruitless.

Alex showed up last. Rian and Jack were already inside of the bus, both of them quiet. Alex had been dropped off right next to the vehicle but he dropped his bags and began walking towards the house instead. He didn’t even notice the sad stares his band mates were giving him. Chloe’s slim figure emerged from the house and Alex stopped walking, opting to stand there and study her.

She was absolutely beautiful, outlined by the rising sun behind her. Her slightly damp hair shone in the light and she was dressed in her typical Chloe fashion that he had come to love. He noticed she was holding some of the clothing he had left in her room. He also noticed that she didn’t have any bags with her. Zack had rushed past her with luggage in his hands, but it was nowhere near enough to be both his and Chloe’s. As she got closer Alex could see the expression on her face better and he furrowed his brow in confusion. Why didn’t she look happy? Did she regret their night together? He thought it had been perfect. He pulled her into a hug as she finally reached him, burying his head in her sweet smelling hair. She was stiff in his arms.

“Where are your bags, Chlo?”

“It’s Chloe.” She snapped, pulling away. “And I’m not coming, Alex.”

Her voice was blank. Alex didn’t understand. He reached to pull her close again but she took a step back, moving out of his reach.

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I just said. I’m not coming on tour. I’m leaving, just not with you.” She shoved the clothing into his hands, her face still completely emotionless, and began to walk away.

“Chloe!” Alex yelled throwing the cloth to the ground and running after her. She didn’t stop walking. “Please! If this is about last night, I’m sorry! I can fix it, I’ll change. I’ll do whatever you want. Please, don’t walk away from me! I love you!”

At those words Chloe stopped. She turned, her expression now soft. Alex sighed in relief, hurrying to stand in front of her. She placed her hands on his cheeks. One of her skinny fingers reached up to brush a piece of overgrown hair out of his eyes. Alex shuddered at her light touch.

“I love you, Chloe Marie Danske.” He repeated, his hands resting on her slim hips, his forehead pressed flush to hers.

She stood on her toes and moved so that her lips were mere centimeters away from his ear. Her warm breath send trembles down his spine. Her scent invaded his nose, causing his head to spin in pleasure.

“Oh, Alex.” She whispered. Alex suppressed another shiver as her lips brushed his earlobe. “I’ve never loved you. And I never will.”

Alex smiled dropped off of his face at her words. His mouth gaped open. She pulled away. He stared into her eyes, which were icy again. There was just a slight twinge of sympathy and sadness which only made Alex feel worse. She patted his cheek before speaking again.

“Nothing personal.”

She removed her hand and turned her back on him. Alex stood, completely frozen to the spot. He was shocked and hurt. His face crumpled as he watched Chloe growing smaller and smaller. There was nothing he could do but stand there and watch as the love of his life disappeared into the dawn.