A Puck Between Us
Chapter 29
Chapter 29
I laid in bed, unable to sleep, just remembering everything. Our first kiss, our first date, our first fight-- and it all led up to this. The moment of truth... Would she agree to marry me?
I stared up at the plain white ceiling and thought about how this could either potentially ruin our relationship or take it to a whole new level.
I started to hear a low whimper and turned to Emerson, just assuming that he was waking up, unsure of he slept through the night or not.
The crying was not coming from him though. Instead it was coming from Addison. She was still sleeping though.
I began to lean over to wake her up from, I guessing, a nightmare and she woke herself up. She wiped away her tears and caught her breath, getting up an quietly walking out of the room.
I heard the stairs creek and knew she was going down them.
I found myself in the doorway watching her standing there looking out the window and I could tell she was lost in her thoughts.
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"Why do you said that?" She asked me, not even turning around.
"You were crying." I answered her, going closer and wrapping myself around her.
I stood behind her as she continued to look out the window. My lips met her cheek, just enough to show her that I was here to listen to whatever she had to say.
"No, it wasn't a nightmare." She answered me, still not turning around to me.
"Then why were you crying?" I questioned her, hoping it didn't seem like I was prying.
I wish she had felt open enough to just tell me what was wrong; what had happened.
Her voice became faint. "...Because I wanted it to be real."
"What don't you already have?" I asked her, hoping she wouldn't think I was accusing her of anything.
"It's nothing. Please just drop it." She asked me, while she was sliding out of my arms to try and walk away.
I didn't want to be forceful, but at the same time I didn't want her to just walk away every time. She needed to know that I would be here for her-- always.
I grabbed her wrists, gently so that she could still break away. I hoped that she would get the hint that she could tell me what the problem was.
"I want to make you happy." I told her.
It wasn't that I didn't want to go out and say it to her, but it sounded like I was telling her what she wanted to hear.
While it was nothing but the truth, if I was going to be asking her to officially spend the ret of her life with me, I didn't want her to think I was buttering her up. I wanted this to all be real.
"I said it's nothing." She said and again she turned to leave.
"It's never nothing, Addison. At least look at me."
She turned and I could see the pain in her eyes.
“What are your team mates going to think when you come back with a child?” She asked me, and I could tell that it was hard for her to come out and say it.
“Who cares what they thing?"
I couldn't believe that this was what was bothering her.
“What about the media? Do you care what their ideas are going to be when you come back with a child and a girlfriend?”
At first I was upset that she was worried about it, but as she asked more questions I got more upset that our love for each other wasn't enough for her. What other people think shouldn't matter.
“They’ll know that we love each other enough to have a child. It’s better then going back alone with a child.” I tried to explain to her, hoping she would understand my point.
“A girlfriend. That’s it. It’s nothing permanent, Jeff. There’s no promise behind that. There are just words and meanings and a bunch of other things."
I didn't even have anything to say to that. She has been more than a girlfriend to me since I met her. I wished she could feel that.
She took a deep breath and continued.
“I know you won’t leave me, but what if they think you will? Are you ready for that kind of publicity? Are you ready for people always asking that?"
I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't going to do this, but it was the only thing that I felt was right.
I walked over to the staircase and went up, Addison following behind me.
I went into the bedroom and reached into the cabinet under the T.V. picking up the ring.
This was it. That make or break moment that I was so worried about.
“Do you care?”
“Only if you care.”
I don't know if that was the answer I was hoping for. I was too wrapped up on what was coming next, but I knew I couldn't just go out there and ask her. It wasn't the right moment. I would know when it was right.
“You wouldn’t care if they called you a tramp, assuming that the child wasn’t mine, and that you were just a make-shift girlfriend?" I badgered her and I could see it was becoming too much.
“I’d care.” She answered and I could tell she couldn't handle much more. She was about to break and tell me how she really felt. She couldn't hide it anymore from me. “I don’t want to be that girl that disappears half way through the ceiling."
And here is was. I was going to, hopefully, turn her life around with these four words.
“Then marry me, Addison.” He said to her, unable to hide a smile.
“What?” She asked, in a complete state of shock.
I knew I had to do it right.
I got down on one knee.
“Marry me, Addison. Let’s get rid of all the pointing fingers. Let’s give them nothing to question."
“But, how-“ She started to ask questions, but stopped in her tracks when I pulled out a small box from behind my back.
I opened it up, revealing an engagement ring.
“I don’t know.” She barely murmured and those three words made my heart sink into my stomach.
'I don't know' wasn't a 'no' and I was going to do everything I could to make sure it didn't turn into that.
“I promised you that one day I’d marry you. Let today be the day. I have always loved you. Let me prove it to you. Let’s take away all the reasons for questioning. Marry me, Addison.”
“I think you should say yes, Mama.” Emerson's small voice said, breaking through the silence.
“I think you should say yes too." I agreed with him and I smiled at her.
“Yes.”
“What?” I asked, full of so many emotions.
“Yes. Yes I’ll marry you.”
A huge smile appeared on her face, but was broken up by my lips as they slammed onto hers.
I never wanted to let go of her, I though to myself, as I lifted her slightly off the ground spinning her around, our lips never leaving each other.
I let her back down and she pulled away an I fought her eyes traveling around me to Emerson.
“I love you, forever." I said to her and she placed her head on my chest, which I could feel pounding, as the excitement poured out of my body.
"Well..." She said after picking up her head off of me.
I laughed at her, confused.
"Can I have the ring?"
I pulled the ring out of the box, not even realizing that I hadn't yet given it to her.
I slipped it onto her finger and when I looked back up at her and her eyes had never left me.
"I love you Jeff. I love you for loving and accepting me for me-- good and bad. I love you for loving our son. I love you for everything."
I leaned in to kiss her again, but she pulled away.
"One last thing before that." She said, and I looked puzzled at her.
"I love you for giving me this beautiful ring..." She said. "Even if you did forget to actually give it to me."
I laughed and kissed her.
"I'm sorry." I told her, when I pulled away from her lips. "But it was my first time..."
I laid in bed, unable to sleep, just remembering everything. Our first kiss, our first date, our first fight-- and it all led up to this. The moment of truth... Would she agree to marry me?
I stared up at the plain white ceiling and thought about how this could either potentially ruin our relationship or take it to a whole new level.
I started to hear a low whimper and turned to Emerson, just assuming that he was waking up, unsure of he slept through the night or not.
The crying was not coming from him though. Instead it was coming from Addison. She was still sleeping though.
I began to lean over to wake her up from, I guessing, a nightmare and she woke herself up. She wiped away her tears and caught her breath, getting up an quietly walking out of the room.
I heard the stairs creek and knew she was going down them.
I found myself in the doorway watching her standing there looking out the window and I could tell she was lost in her thoughts.
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"Why do you said that?" She asked me, not even turning around.
"You were crying." I answered her, going closer and wrapping myself around her.
I stood behind her as she continued to look out the window. My lips met her cheek, just enough to show her that I was here to listen to whatever she had to say.
"No, it wasn't a nightmare." She answered me, still not turning around to me.
"Then why were you crying?" I questioned her, hoping it didn't seem like I was prying.
I wish she had felt open enough to just tell me what was wrong; what had happened.
Her voice became faint. "...Because I wanted it to be real."
"What don't you already have?" I asked her, hoping she wouldn't think I was accusing her of anything.
"It's nothing. Please just drop it." She asked me, while she was sliding out of my arms to try and walk away.
I didn't want to be forceful, but at the same time I didn't want her to just walk away every time. She needed to know that I would be here for her-- always.
I grabbed her wrists, gently so that she could still break away. I hoped that she would get the hint that she could tell me what the problem was.
"I want to make you happy." I told her.
It wasn't that I didn't want to go out and say it to her, but it sounded like I was telling her what she wanted to hear.
While it was nothing but the truth, if I was going to be asking her to officially spend the ret of her life with me, I didn't want her to think I was buttering her up. I wanted this to all be real.
"I said it's nothing." She said and again she turned to leave.
"It's never nothing, Addison. At least look at me."
She turned and I could see the pain in her eyes.
“What are your team mates going to think when you come back with a child?” She asked me, and I could tell that it was hard for her to come out and say it.
“Who cares what they thing?"
I couldn't believe that this was what was bothering her.
“What about the media? Do you care what their ideas are going to be when you come back with a child and a girlfriend?”
At first I was upset that she was worried about it, but as she asked more questions I got more upset that our love for each other wasn't enough for her. What other people think shouldn't matter.
“They’ll know that we love each other enough to have a child. It’s better then going back alone with a child.” I tried to explain to her, hoping she would understand my point.
“A girlfriend. That’s it. It’s nothing permanent, Jeff. There’s no promise behind that. There are just words and meanings and a bunch of other things."
I didn't even have anything to say to that. She has been more than a girlfriend to me since I met her. I wished she could feel that.
She took a deep breath and continued.
“I know you won’t leave me, but what if they think you will? Are you ready for that kind of publicity? Are you ready for people always asking that?"
I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't going to do this, but it was the only thing that I felt was right.
I walked over to the staircase and went up, Addison following behind me.
I went into the bedroom and reached into the cabinet under the T.V. picking up the ring.
This was it. That make or break moment that I was so worried about.
“Do you care?”
“Only if you care.”
I don't know if that was the answer I was hoping for. I was too wrapped up on what was coming next, but I knew I couldn't just go out there and ask her. It wasn't the right moment. I would know when it was right.
“You wouldn’t care if they called you a tramp, assuming that the child wasn’t mine, and that you were just a make-shift girlfriend?" I badgered her and I could see it was becoming too much.
“I’d care.” She answered and I could tell she couldn't handle much more. She was about to break and tell me how she really felt. She couldn't hide it anymore from me. “I don’t want to be that girl that disappears half way through the ceiling."
And here is was. I was going to, hopefully, turn her life around with these four words.
“Then marry me, Addison.” He said to her, unable to hide a smile.
“What?” She asked, in a complete state of shock.
I knew I had to do it right.
I got down on one knee.
“Marry me, Addison. Let’s get rid of all the pointing fingers. Let’s give them nothing to question."
“But, how-“ She started to ask questions, but stopped in her tracks when I pulled out a small box from behind my back.
I opened it up, revealing an engagement ring.
“I don’t know.” She barely murmured and those three words made my heart sink into my stomach.
'I don't know' wasn't a 'no' and I was going to do everything I could to make sure it didn't turn into that.
“I promised you that one day I’d marry you. Let today be the day. I have always loved you. Let me prove it to you. Let’s take away all the reasons for questioning. Marry me, Addison.”
“I think you should say yes, Mama.” Emerson's small voice said, breaking through the silence.
“I think you should say yes too." I agreed with him and I smiled at her.
“Yes.”
“What?” I asked, full of so many emotions.
“Yes. Yes I’ll marry you.”
A huge smile appeared on her face, but was broken up by my lips as they slammed onto hers.
I never wanted to let go of her, I though to myself, as I lifted her slightly off the ground spinning her around, our lips never leaving each other.
I let her back down and she pulled away an I fought her eyes traveling around me to Emerson.
“I love you, forever." I said to her and she placed her head on my chest, which I could feel pounding, as the excitement poured out of my body.
"Well..." She said after picking up her head off of me.
I laughed at her, confused.
"Can I have the ring?"
I pulled the ring out of the box, not even realizing that I hadn't yet given it to her.
I slipped it onto her finger and when I looked back up at her and her eyes had never left me.
"I love you Jeff. I love you for loving and accepting me for me-- good and bad. I love you for loving our son. I love you for everything."
I leaned in to kiss her again, but she pulled away.
"One last thing before that." She said, and I looked puzzled at her.
"I love you for giving me this beautiful ring..." She said. "Even if you did forget to actually give it to me."
I laughed and kissed her.
"I'm sorry." I told her, when I pulled away from her lips. "But it was my first time..."