I'll Be the Cure to Your Depression

I gazed around the crowded school hallway. No one realized just what was going on around them. They were oblivious to hidden facts all around him. That jock over there, hugging all up on that blonde girl, was hiding from his sexuality. He was gay and his lover watched in disgust, who was open about his sexuality, and as he passed by the jock they locked eyes. No one knew that the head cheerleader was suffering from anorexia, or that the high school's biggest bully, Drake, was bullied at home by his alcoholic father. No one knew that the kid that sat alone at the lunch table was the best artist in the school, and could paint a picture that said a thousand words. And no one knew that the girl in the back of the class, with the blonde and purple hair, snake-bitten lips, and multi-colored eye shadow never silently plotted to kill the whole senior class like some had voiced earlier in the year, and even asked her themselves to her face. That girl was me. My name is Zoey Baker and I suffer from depression. It hasn't been told to me by a specialist. It hasn't been told to me by my mom, who worries about me every day. And, it hasn't been told to me by any of my friends. I say they're my friends, but in all reality they don't really know me. They don't know that I watch them with their boyfriends, wishing I had someone that loved me. They didn't know that without music, I would probably have killed myself already, and they didn't know that I hurt every single day and wore a fake smile to mask all of my pain. They also didn't know that I wanted to cut myself, just to know if it could really take my pain away, if only for a moment. But, I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to hide it from my mom. We were close, but not close enough to where I shared my depression with her. I kept it deep inside. I never told anyone.

The next day of school I pulled into my parking space and hopped out of my car, making sure the door was locked before I adjusted the bag across my shoulder, holding my keys in my hand. I gazed around the nearly full parking lot as I made my way to the sidewalk. A group of guys I had never seen before were standing near a group of cars, laughing and cutting up. They were all dressed in black clothing, sporting numerous band tees. I found it odd that I had never seen them before. I made my hair fall in my face as I looked down at the ground. I had to pass the group of boys to get to the sidewalk. I could pass through the grass, but I really didn't want to get my shoes covered in the mowed over grass. So I sucked it up, knowing they wouldn't talk to me anyways, and started to walk past them. Just when I thought I was in the clear, one of them called out. "Hey you with the purple hair, can we ask you something?" I slowly turned around to face them and sighed. "Um yeah sure," I stepped just a little closer to them so I could hear, and waited for them to speak. The tallest one of the group spoke first. "So I'm Chris and we're all new here." "Oh um, nice to meet you Chris," I mumbled, really wanting to disappear again like it always is. "So this is Angelo, TJ, Ryan, Josh, and Ricky." I nodded with a slight wave of my hand, not liking the small amount of attention this group of boys was giving me. "So we were wondering if you could maybe help show us around." "Um," I gazed down at my phone and realized we still had a good fifteen minutes left before the bell rung for us to go to class. "Um, sure I guess I could do that." "Awesome, let's go guys." Chris had been the only one of us to say anything as we walked toward the school. "So what's your name?" He asked and I let out a sigh. "It's Zoey," I replied, sliding my keys into my bag along with my phone. "Awesome, so you don't sound too happy to be here. I mean I know it's school, but is there not anything that you look forward to?" "No," I shook my head in response to his question. I didn't even like going home at the end of the day. "Well that sucks, why not?" "Because," I shrugged. I didn't really want to tell these guys that I had no friends. Well I did, but it's not like they understood. "Because why, if you don't mind me asking?" "I...well I just don't enjoy school at all." They didn't need to know everything about me. "So Zoey do you think we have any classes together?" I turned and looked at who had spoken. "TJ right?" I asked, taking the schedule from his hand. "Yeah," He smiled and I looked down at his schedule. "We have third and fourth together." I handed it back to him and he smiled. "Awesome," He folded the paper and put it away and then I noticed all the guys were holding their schedules out to me. I softly smiled, not sure if it was real or fake as I took them all and scanned them. "So we all have third and fourth together. I have homeroom with Ricky and Chris, and I have first with Angelo and Ryan." I handed them all back their schedules. Chris pulled open the doors and let me walk in first. "Thanks," I mumbled, stepping inside the already crowded school. The doors were right in front of the commons area, and I was forced to walk through the crowd numerous times to show the guys where classrooms were. “Senior hall is upstairs, that's where your lockers will be." "Um I'm curious," I turned and noticed it was Ricky who had spoken. He was more reserved than the other boys and for that I was drawn to him. "What is it?" I asked, putting a foot on the stairs to head up to senior hall. "I don't have a locker number." "Well most people just share with their friends anyways. So that's no big deal." "Oh alright," He nodded and looked down at his schedule. We headed up the stairs and I pulled the books from my bag, pulling open my locker and getting my things for first period. "Sweet I got the locker next to Zoey!" I cracked a smile as TJ practically slammed his body against the locker. "It's mine!" His actions caused an actual laugh to escape me. "Well guess what Ricky is sharing with you TJ." Chris spoke, stepping a little ways down the hall and pulling open a locker that he and Josh were sharing. Angelo and Ryan had a locker next to them. I shut my locker door and turned to Ricky. "Homeroom is down junior hall, it's the next one over." I pointed toward the short hall that led to the next hall over. He nodded, but didn't say anything. TJ grinned and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "So it sucks that I don't get to see you until third." He flashed a smile down at me and my cheeks turned a light shade of pink. "Um yeah," I laughed kinda nervously and stepped out from under his arm. "So um third period we all go to lunch before we go to class, and then, since we all have it together, we go down vocational. I'll show you guys what room it is after lunch. The class I have is easy and we don't really do anything in there so you guys should like it.” “Sweet,” TJ replied and I showed them around the rest of the school. We were walking back toward the stairs to go to homeroom when I caught sight of a lot of people staring. It was odd because I was never really noticed. I looked back at the guys following me, wondering just what it was about these guys that set everyone else off. Sure they were different, like me. They had piercings and wore black, like me. So what exactly made them different? Why were they getting stared at like they were demons from hell? I shook my head. “Let’s go guys,” They followed me up the stairs and Chris nearly went off. “I can’t fucking stand this! That’s why we fucking moved. I don’t give a shit if they judge me. But they brought you guys and now Zoey into it.” “Chris we were already involved in this. And Zoey is just helping us out. She’s not-” “Don’t worry about it guys. I’m used to being an outcast of the school.” They all got silent as they looked at me. “Come on let’s just go so I can show you all to your homerooms.” Before they could say anything I walked off down the hall.