Tonight The Lies Will Be Evaporating From Your Lips

Why did this happen to me? What I’m I going to do? I lost control of myself and almost lost my humanity. But I lost control because I was protecting my friends so they should understand. Right? No there is no way they trust me now. If it wasn’t for me, Pete wouldn’t be close to death right now. I was back in the washroom trying to get the blood of my hands and when I looked at myself in the mirror...I looked like a monster. There was dried blood all over my mouth which ran down my neck and onto my shirt. From scrubbing the blood my skin felt raw and I kept trying to get the smell off of me. My hair was a mess and my eyes were smudge with eyeliner. I opened my mouth to see if I had fangs and to my relief I didn’t. I felt disgusted with myself knowing that I was a bastard child of William and it made me hate myself more. The woman in my dreams was Pete’s mother and she was also mine that brought fresh tears. How is Pete going to feel about me now that his half-sister is a blood sucking beast? I’m scared to leave the washroom I don’t want to face them.

There was a soft knock on the door, “Josie come on you have been in there for two hours now.”

It was Liz on the other side of the door. How could she still want to be near me after what I have done?

“Just stay away from me.” I slouched down and against the wall and brought my knees up to my chest.

I can hear her sigh and two other voices, “Please Josie come out and eat something.”

“I don’t want to just leave me alone.” I buried my head in my knees.

It was silent for a while and thinking that she finally gave up I then felt a hand on my knee. I looked up to see Patrick kneeling in front of me while Joe and Liz were standing in the doorway. My eyes went back towards the floor. I couldn’t look at them without seeing the guilt radiate off my body.

“Can you guys leave us alone?” Patrick asked and they left while Liz flashed me a sympathetic smile.

After a few moments of silence Patrick sat next to me on the floor.

“You must think I’m pathetic.” I mumbled.

He chuckled, “Actually I am happy you are like this. It means you’re coping if you weren’t reacting to what happened I would be worried.”

“You are not scared of me?”

He took a deep breath, “Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“I was but then I started thinking that you didn’t attack us. It was just your normal vampire instincts, you saw Pete get hurt and you acted on it.”

I was appalled with that, “It’s not normal!” I stood up, “I’m not normal! Come on Patrick first off vampires are not suppose to be real! I’m not supposed to be real.” I said the last part in a low whisper.

Patrick stood up as well and went for my hand but I pulled away.

“I’m the daughter of a monster. A monster who killed so many innocent people and one of those people was Pete’s mother. She was supposed to live a long happy life with her family but instead she was snatched and robbed from the one person who needed her. I can’t help but feel like this is my entire fault that he lost his mother and now he is going to be just like his enemies.”

He just kept staring at me.

“Stop looking at me please.” I hid my face in my hands.

I heard him get closer to me and pulled my hands from my face and I looked up at him. I never knew how beautiful his eyes were and found myself looking down at his lips. His hand reached up to my face and pushed my hair back behind my ear, “None of this is your fault and you are nothing like William. You are a sweet, caring, smart, brave, and beautiful person. You are still human and you have a good heart.”

“Patrick…”

He pulled me against him and his lips met mine at first I was surprised but found myself kissing back. Our bodies moved closer to each other and his hands were at my hips and mine were wrapped around his neck. I loved the way this felt. Our lips kept moving in a soft rhythm and Patrick bit my lower lip and it made me go wild. His hand slid under my shirt and then peeled it off and moved his lips to my neck. My nerves were going insane, his hands were wondering all over my body. I sat up on the sink counter and Patrick placed himself between my legs and I can feel him excited. I knew that we shouldn’t be doing this but I just couldn’t control myself. I took off his shirt leaving kisses along his neck down to his chest and I could hear him let out a small moan. My head was spinning from the adrenaline that was circulating through my body. His hand took a hold on my calf and brought it up so I can wrap it around his waist. Our kiss was deepening, his touch left a burning sensation that felt amazing, but then I came to realization that I can’t let this go any further.

I pulled away from Patrick and hopped off the sink, “We have to stop.”

He stared back at me with his hair sticking in different directions, “I’m sorry.”

I picked up my shirt off the ground and slipped it back on, “Why did you kiss me?”

He didn’t expect me to ask him and I could see that he had no idea how to answer. His eyes looked down towards the floor and picked up his shirt. My heart started beating fast and realized that he only kissed me because he pitied me. He doesn’t have feelings for me, he didn’t want me the way I wanted him. I ran for the bathroom door and pulled it open I know that I don’t belong here and what pained me more was he didn’t stop me from leaving. I am nothing but a monster that has no family, friends, and a life to look forward to. I just thought that maybe if I believed that I could have a chance to experience love I could feel whole. But no…who would want me? I heard Liz asking what was wrong but I ignored her and left the loft. Instantly blinded by the rising sun my feet kept dragging me into town. Where the streets were still empty, sidewalks were bare, and the sky is still a light orange. I stopped at a local bridge that connected two different parks and underneath the bridge was concrete. A smirk spread across my lips and it disturbed me that I was happy at the sight beneath me. But here I was pulling myself up to stand on the thick stone rail looking down at what was waiting for me. Curiosity filled my mind. How would it feel to come in contact from a long fall? Would anyone care? Would I even die? Personally I feel as if I have nothing to live for. I’m a murder, because of me Pete’s mother is dead, Pete was stripped from his humanity and he will no longer seize the day to see sunlight. I dangled one foot in front of me daring myself to jump. Why was I prolonging? I closed my eyes and smiled. Ready for the leap, opening my arms, and I jumped.
I hit the ground very quickly and was confused that I felt no pain. I opened my eyes and saw Patrick hovering above me. I looked around and saw that I was lying down on the bridge.

“Are you insane?”He gapped at me with a wide open mouth.

If I was under different circumstances I would have laughed but I was seconds from death, “I guess so.”

“Why would you do this?”

I stared at him like if he was an idiot, “Are you serious? I have nothing! Don’t you get it?”

You can see it in his face that he was pissed, “What do you mean you have nothing?! What about Liz? She is your best friend don’t you think if she lost you it would crush her? Pete is your family now. For years he was alone and he struggled just like you. I bet now that he knows he has a sister he would be devastated if he lost you when he just got you. What about Andy and Joe? They are your friends now and even if they don’t exactly show it they care about you.”

Tears were threatening on falling but I stayed strong not wanting him to see me break down, “What do you fall under?”

We kept looking at one another and he was staring at me and studying my face, “The reason that I kissed you was because…I have feelings for you. These feelings are so strong that it scares me because I never fell for someone so fast.”

I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from frowning, “Why didn’t you say that earlier?”

He chuckled, “Because you left so quickly.”

“You know that you were my crush in high school.” I blushed at my confession.

He just smiled, “I know.”

I rolled my eyes as he got off of me and extended his hand out and I gladly took it, “How did you know?”

He still had a hold of my hand and laced his fingers with mine, “Come on. You really think I didn’t notice you checking me out all the time.”

I laughed and we walked back to the loft hand in hand. Who would have thought that this day would turn out this way? But I grew anxious knowing the fact I still had to face Pete. Let’s just hope everything goes smoothly.