Teethmarks and Wolf Pelts

The wind whips harshly at the exposed skin of my dress, leaving it red and somewhat freezing, and even causing the scratches from Lewis to burn a little. Even though I'm cold and in pain, I dare not lift my hands that are so tightly gripping the edges of the podium. Before me are nearly 60 people -human and two natured both- that were Connor's family or friends. The gaze up at me with expectant eyes but I just have no idea what to say. I had thought that when his mother came up to me at the last minute before the funeral started and asked if I could say his eulogy that I could do it. But I honestly can't. I'm at a loss for words. So much has changed now and I've begun to lose my grip on who he used to be. Sure, he was once a werewolf, but now so am I? He still had loved me, and even in death I can feel that he still does.

Then why can't I say anything? I ask myself. My eyes scan over every face in the crowd but the only one that sticks out is Felix. He isn't smiling but his eyes give off a sense that he could be if the situation were appropriate. He nods at me slowly as if telling me that it is okay to speak. I hold back my own smile. Felix has been so utterly great to within the past twenty-four hours. Right after I had stopped laughing at Lewis's death, he came over and wrapped his arm around me. Even after we called the two natured cops on the force and told them everything we could -only leaving out small things like Connor's tolerance and Trisha's surprise appearance- Felix never took his arms off of me. The cops fortunately believed there was enough evidence to condemn our killing Lewis as self defense and a justifiable act.

My eyes roll over the rest of crowd and rest on the bravest soul I know, Elijah Littleman. Though his eyes are on me, his mind is nowhere at this funeral. He had to do something that I think no one else in the world could handle the way he's handling it. Finding out that your best friend is not who you think they are, a murderer no less, has to be tough, but having to kill him... Well, that could easily drive any man to madness. Elijah, however, is handling himself with as much poise and grace as possible, though you can still see how sorrowful and remorseful he is. Unfortunately, he had offered to call Lewis's father and explain what had happened to his son. The father took it hard, but the way Elijah describes the call, it sounds as if his father had always suspected such evil from his own child.

I keep looking everyone and lastly, I rest my eyes on the ginger haired waitress from Phoenix. If I have to make this speech for anyone, it seems that I should make it for her. She had barely known Connor and I should have her leaving here feeling as if she has always known who he was. I clear my throat and grip the podium harder until my knuckles are white. "I want to thank everyone for coming here today," I start but no one really pays attention. They can tell I'm stalling.

"Connor is my best friend," I state factually, "Dead or not, he's my best friend. Him not being here in person has nothing to do with it. Sure, I'll miss all the things we used together... Like, I remember this one time when he got me to first try coffee. I thought the stuff was awful and spit it all over him. He ended up dumping a smoothie on me a day later for payback," I smile and the small crowd laughs a little. "I never got him back for that, but one day I will. Connor isn't here in body, but I feel his presence all around us- even now. He is the wind that is biting at my skin. He's the dew on the grass, keeping life on the ground wet and shimmering. He is everything the creates beauty."

I eventually set my gaze on Connor's mother. She's a short old woman with many worry lines upon her forehead. Her sad brown eyes are the exact shade as Connor's were. "Connor will forever visit my dreams when I'm not awake, and when I am, I'll see him everywhere I go. And knowing that is what will get me through this. I knew Connor better than most people, I'd have to say," I pause and look at his mother. She nods slowly, saying I may continue. "I know that he's be furious if he could see you all right now. He never ever wanted to sad funeral. He told me on several occasions that if people chose to remember him with a sad expression on his face, it meant that they were missing him and he doesn't want to be missed. He said that if people remembered him with a smile on their face, they weren't missing him, they were waiting to see him. And I believe that."

"So," I continue. "Give Connor that one pleasure now. Smile. He's never truly gone and one day, no matter how far away that may be, we'll join our beloved friend. And I have a feeling he'll be fine with waiting for all of us if we just smile and live as if he was still here."

I pause, not sure whether to keep going or wrap the speech up. I look to Felix who gives me another nod. "Connor meant more to me than I can even fathom right now. When my father died, he pretty much swooped in and took the pain away. So today, when you go home, remember him as the kind soul he was and do as he did- never let anyone suffer."

I step away from the podium and wipe my eyes. Several of the mourners clap, some are crying but what makes me proud is that they all have a smile on their faces. Laura is in tears, Elijah has snapped out of his distraction and is teary eyed, and Connor's mother is smiling at me with such dignity and happiness. My own mother looks proud of me, as does Felix. I grin. Connor will always be remembered, just as he wanted to be. Everyone is smiling and that means his death was not a loss, but just someone to look forward to seeing on the other side.



The next two weeks are oddly quiet for me. I spend most of my days on the couch watching terrible television and eating various meals with my mother when she's not at work. Felix visits me a few times, and even once tries to get me to attend Lewis's funeral that took place nearly a week after Connor's did. Although it's customary for all members of the pack to attend one of their fallen's burial, no matter his crimes, none of them blame me when I politely refuse. I'm just not sure I could deal with it, seeing such evil being lowered into the ground while silently wishing him a rough trip straight to Hell.

Though I don't attend, I do feel a little guilty. Even Elijah had gone, though he mainly fought tears the entire time. At the end of my three week period of doing barely anything, Felix comes to tell me that my attendance at the bonfire tonight is more than mandatory, that staying away could be called treason. I don't need much convincing however. I feel as if my break from the pack was nice and well needed, but it's time to get pack to the people I am going to spend the next two years with.

The bonfire is once again held at Jordan Kettle's house and it's quite chilly by the time that I arrive. I wear jeans and a tee-shirt and green sweatshirt, but underneath are my shifting garments. Teenagers litter the yard, the large familiar fire stretching as far as it can to the sky. It's a little after sunset, but the sky is still illuminated by a faint light. I stalk into the house and from there the kitchen and grab a can of Pepsi. Many kids are drinking alcohol but that had never really been my style.

Felix is nowhere to be seen, but I remember him saying he had a few errands to run. Instead I find myself making my way over to Carter, the werefox. He's standing alone, staring toward the throne where the Alpha once sat. It's empty now, with nothing but a large glass bowl sitting upon it. Jordan and Elijah sit on either side of the throne, as they would if Lewis was there.

"What's with the bowl?"

"Election's tonight," he says. I furrow my brow in confusion. "When an Alpha dies, we have to elect a new one. Alpha's can only be switched out three ways; if they are leaving and appoint a new Alpha, if a pack member challenges the Alpha to a battle and wins, then they become Alpha, and then if they die, we hold an election."

"But... Elijah killed Lewis, shouldn't he be Alpha?"

"It wasn't a challenge for dominance, so no. You just vote for who you think should be Alpha, then Jordan counts the votes and announces our new leader."

I nod slowly and stare at the bowl, seeing the small pieces of paper next to it. During the night, people mingle and eventually make their way over to the throne, write on the paper and toss it into the bowl. While this is going on, I think over my choices very carefully. I don't know many of these people and the ones I do, well I feel like only a few are qualified. After a good ten minutes of weighing my options, I come up with my candidates; Felix, Jordan, Elijah, and Andrew Parkly.

Andrew, however, I recall is quite a party boy and very temperamental, so I rule him out. Jordan is great and watches over us all. He's silent and strong and I feel like he could lead us to greatness. However, he is a senior and will be graduating in a matter of months, meaning that he'll leave soon and have to appoint someone else to the job. Felix is amazing. He's strong and quick, but I feel that he lack confidence. Plus, he is only a Sophomore. That leaves Elijah and I do feel that he is the greatest of anyone in the pack. Sure, he is a bit shy, but he shows so much promise and potential. He's shown more courage than I could ever imagine. And he can face the most impossible of tasks. He has to become Alpha.

The night moves on a bit quickly, and before I know it, it's nearly eleven o'clock. Felix arrives around nine and he and I move around the people, talking to very few people but one another. He smiles a lot and laughs at my jokes when he's usually so casual and straight-faced. It's a good adjustment, I decide. He and I are one of the last few people to cast our votes. I promise not to look at his, though I'm hoping he can see that Elijah is the right choice.

Not soon after we cast our votes, Jordan takes the bowl inside where he can count the votes fairly and in silence. Barely five minutes later he comes out holding three tiny stacks of folded paper. He stands in front of the fire and calls out to the crowd, "Can I have your attention please?"

The crowd slowly meets his demands but soon all of us hold our tongues and look toward him as if our lives depend on it. Next to me, Felix casually wraps his arm around my waist and I can feel him silently hoping I don't really notice. But I do. The gesture is small but sweet. He had barely touched me since our night in the hotel in Phoenix. I find myself scooting closer to his body. Jordan holds up the paper stacks.

"In my hands, I hold the three top choices for our next leader. The first, Andrew Parkly with ten votes," he smiles and toss the stack into the fire. "Sorry bud."

"Didn't figure he'd actually get elected," Felix murmured in my ear and I laugh slightly.

"The next candidate was Felix Bustani with total of sixteen votes," he says and throws his name into the flames. Several people clap and cheer but I just turn to him and look at him. Tan skin and large, wide nose. Dark hair and eyes. I had known he was from some decent but I hadn't asked. Surprisingly, I recognize his last name as Egyptian. He shrugs and wraps his arm around me tighter.

"And finally, with a total of twenty-three votes, our new Alpha is," he pauses for dramatic effect and it is obviously working. Several werewolves seem to be leaning forward or clenching their fists in anticipation. "Priscilla Plight!"

At first the name doesn't register. It sounds foreign and not like my own. It isn't until Felix nudges me softly, eyes wide with surprise and excitement, that I realize he's called me up to become the Alpha. I'm suddenly passed through the crowd and I barely feel in control of my own functions. Everyone is cheering and clapping, but I can only hear the blood rushing in my ears. This isn't right, this shouldn't be mine. Not when Elijah deserves it more than anyone.

Jordan steps toward the throne and grabs what looks to be a large cape made of wolf pelts. I'm not sure whether it's the fur of past Alphas or just fur of dead pack members, but either way, I shrug away when he tries to drape it over my shoulders. "Wait," I say but my voice isn't nearly loud enough. "Wait!"

Everyone settles down at their own place and Jordan sets the cape down on the throne again. I tug at the bottom of my sweatshirt, drawing in a deep breath before speaking. "I thank all of you who voted, but I feel like your voting was misguided. I admit, I did some brave things. I sacrificed everything to save my best friend and put myself in some dangerous situations, but I don't deserve this."

I look over at Elijah. He's gone pale and I can tell that he knows what is about to happen. "There is one of us who has given more than anyone ever could. Me, I'm selfish and impulsive. I'd never make a good leader. But, Elijah Littleman... He'd do you all justice. He showed more sacrifice and bravery in the last few weeks than anyone I know. He had to come to terms with his best friend's less than honorable actions in a matter of moments and then shoot him dead, to save my life. Elijah deserves this. So, therefore, I reject the title and pass the responsibilities of Alpha onto Elijah Littleman! Let's hear it!"

With smiles on their faces, the two natured clap and scream with joy. Just as I had been Elijah is pushed up to the throne and he sits upon it firmly. Slowly, I fade into the background, not really in the mood to watch the rest of the event. Instead, I turn and head into the woods. I walk about a minute or two before finding a small stump to sit on and think. It's barely any time at all before Felix ventures into the forest and finds me. With a large grin, he sits down besides the tree stump.

"You did a great thing back there," he says. I look down at his caramel eyes. They look black in the dark light of the woods. I fear that if I stare too long I could get lost in them. In hindsight, maybe that's exactly what I want -to be lost in Felix's beautiful eyes- and so I don't look away.

"I thought he deserved it more than me."

Felix says nothing for a long time, just shifts his head in all directions. He mainly looks up at the sky, which is littered with very few stars but the ones that are apparent and visible are beautiful. Finally, he looks back up at me and I give him a curious look.

"It didn't really go as planned, but everything worked out in the end," he smiles. I lean my head down, crushing my lips against his. They're hard at first but quickly soften as the surprise of the kiss fades and the heat spreads through our bodies. He tastes like cinnamon but still smells oddly of cilantro, but I don't mind. It makes Felix, well, Felix. And I like nearly everything about that boy.

When I pull away, I give him a big cocky grin. "I always knew it would."