What Lies Beneath

Sitting there in the hallway after the game, Jakub kept his eyes focused on his hands, fingers laced through each other while his elbows rested on his knees. He was waiting, waiting for something he knew wasn't going to happen, for someone he knew wasn't going to come.

But still, she had a way of doing things like this. Making you wait, whether it was intentional or not, seemingly forever. Like a child waiting at a bus stop, for something you knew was coming, you just weren't exactly sure when.

This time was different though, and Jakub knew it. He had gone too far this time, said one too many things. Many saw the young Czech as a nice, quiet man. Not many saw the other side of him. The side he hated to let loose. It was as if a monster was hidden inside, somewhere deep and dark, that only few could set free.

And when that happened, when the monster was set free, all that was left was devistation. Carnage. Only once had his teammates caught a glimpse of that beast. During a game against the San Jose Sharks.

The game itself had been intense. The last meeting of the two teams before yet another possible matchup in the post season. Penalty after penalty wasn't being called on the Californian team. That, along with the dirty plays the Sharks players were making, was getting underneath everyones skin.

After Joe Thornton had shoved Val Filppula into the boards, face first, Jakub felt he coun't take it anymore. Defending his teammate, a man he almost viewed as an older brother, Jakub raced over to Joe while the rest of the men on the ice rushed to Val, making sure he was alright. While it just ended up being a few cuts and a gash on his chin, it had still pissed Jakub off enough to set the monster free.

Everyone said you could hear the collective gasp from the crowd as Jakub approached the bulky captain of the Sharks. What happened next, nobody was sure they could comprehend it. Jakub had become known for his inability to fight. Now that he was facing Thornton, it looked like his decision to fight would spell disaster, yet again.

But it didn't. Oh no, it didn't. The fight ended up with Thornton getting two black eyes along with a broken and bloodied nose. All Jakub came out of the fight with was a split lip. The memories of the fight were vague in Jakub's mind. The image that stood out in his mind was one of Val sitting on the ice, staring over at Jakub, along with the rest of their teammates, in awe of the young man.

But that was earlier in the season. Now it was near the end of the post season for the Wings. The team was wracked with injuries, and not many expected to make it to the finals without many of the teams star players. Maybe that was what had been causing all the arguments, Jakub paused to consider. The arguments were the worst thing.

They were never as bad as arguments are portrayed in movies; both of them yelling, her throwing dishes at him. While they had both had their fair share of yelling and name calling, neither had ever taken the approach to throwing things. What he had done, and it was eating away at him still at this very moment, was take her and shove her against the wall. She had been making her way across the living room to leave, completely disregarding everything he was saying. She knew it would piss him off even more.

And it had worked. He hadn't done it to injure her, just to make her listen to his words. However the grip he had on her arms, along with being slammed against the wall had bruised her in multiple places. While that was bad enough, it wasn't what haunted him the most.

It was the look in her eyes. That was what killed him. After she had left, he hadn't done anything. Just sat on the couch with his head in his hands, appalled at what he had just done. How could he do that to her? Hurt her like that? He knew the words he was saying may have stung more than the injury he had caused, but the fact that he had been the one to injure her was the absolute worst.

She trusted him. She had fallen in love with him and trusted him with her life. She had told him that the agruments weren't worth it, they would stop eventually. They would both grow to accept and maybe even understand the others faults. But they hadn't. The fights got more and more intense. Maybe she had thought that since he was in fact so quiet, he couldn't really get that angry, that full of rage. But how wrong she had been.

Now, as he sat there against the wall as everyone else was leaving or already gone from the Joe, he was hoping and praying that she would show up. But she wouldn't. He knew she wouldn't. Why was he doing this to himself? Torturing himself? Because she was worth it. She mattered more to him than anyone else, and he had fucked things up beyond repair. He didn't know what to do with himself.

"Hey, Kuba. You heading out soon?" Jakub looked up to see Val standing there, his bright blue eyes gazing down at his friend. Jakub took notice of the scar on Val's chin, remembering watching as his face got sent to the boards that night. Shaking his head slightly to clear his mind, he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm going to head out in a bit, just gotta...get my things," He mumbled, looking down after Val nodded, a slightly worried look on his face.

"Some of the guys are going to dinner tonight, think you'll wanna go?" While Val and Jakub might not have been the closest teammates on the Wings, Val was definitely the nicest to Jakub, always lending a hand or offering friendship when he knew it was needed.

"I dunno."

"I'll call you later, see if you're up to it." Taking Jakub's nod as the only response he was going to get, Val took that as his cue to leave the man alone.

"I'll see you later then," He said quietly, nodding at his friend before making his way down the hall.

Jakub leaned back against the wall, rubbing his face as he squeezed his eyes shut. Val was the last of the Wings to leave, though Jakub assumed he was taking his time after seeing his distressed teammate not take part in the postgame celebrations. Instead, Jakub had changed as quickly as possible before resting in the hallway outside the locker room. No one knew what he was doing, or that he was waiting for her.

Pulling his hands away from his face, Jakub shook his head at the thought of Val caring so much for him. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve anything close to that after the way he had treated her. They hadn't spoken for two weeks, a week longer than they had ever gone not talking after a fight. Jakub had no idea why he thought she might actually come to see him. Hell, if he was her, he would have been out of the state by now, getting away from the monster that seemed to grow and grow every time they fought.

Finally, after checking his watch, Jakub decided to give up. He had tortured himself with the thoughts of her long enough. She wasn't coming and he knew it. He must have been delusional to thing that she would show up. Why should she? He didn't deserve her or her time. Standing up, Jakub's muscles stretched and popped, having beeing in one crouching position for far too long. Stretching slightly, he let out a sigh before turning to the door, where he froze.

There she stood, in all her glory. Brunette hair cascading over her shoulders, coming to rest just above her chest. Blue eyes watching him intently, a sad look in them; the look of a child finding out their favorite pet had gone missing, or the tooth fairy had forgotten to come the night before.

Jakub knew the look was pity. For him. That he himself had caused himself this much torment. And he hated himself that much more. That he had found someone so amazing, so fantastic, that even after he had physically and emotionally hurt her, she would still come back and was still worried about him before she was herself. He didn't deserve her. He knew that. He found himself wondering if she knew that.

But he wasn't strong enough to go on without her. He had realized that after they had tried to split up a few months into the relationship. He needed her, like fish need water. She needed him just as much. But he was bad for her; he knew that. As much as he wanted to keep a distance between them, he couldn't manage to do it. He was too weak. He caved every time he thought it possible.

And now, when he was accepting the cards fate had dealt him, here she was, showing up to save him, yet again. Even after what he had done. His thoughts were so jumbled, mixed up with 'why is she here?' and 'I don't deserve her', that he hardly noticed she had crossed the hallway and was now wrapping her arms around him in a hug before crashing their lips together.

"I'm so sorry...so sorry," He whispered.