Truths That We All Try to Hide

Zack took one look at the plastic stick in his hands and felt like he was going to be sick all over again.

Positive.

It was official. His life was fucked.

All morning he’d tried to convince himself that the last week of puking his guts out at the crack of dawn was just bad flu. On a whim for peanut butter and pickles (like, what?) Zack had gone to the local store and ended up doing a small grocery shop. He passed the pregnancy tests on his way to the marshmallow fluff, and picked up one quickly, stuffing it underneath a carton of eggs. The cashier lady even gave him a wide grin when she saw it, making him feel like a total Juno. It wasn’t his fault he was possibly pregnant! His long-term boyfriend Matt always wore a condom. Well, so he thought.

Not that he’d be able to talk to Matt about this. No freaking way. Matt actually wanted a baby. Matt Flyzik was four years older than Zack at 28, and was the CEO of his father’s stock trading and investment company, his father having retired 3 years ago. Sure they’d been together for 5 years and had known each other for 7, but Matt wanted them to settle down properly – and Zack had told him repeatedly that he wasn’t ready, that he was still too young for that.

Now it looked like he didn’t have a choice.

Pregnant. Fuck. His dead junkie mother would be rolling in her grave.

“Honey! I’m home!”

Zack winced and quickly shoved the pregnancy test in a shoe box at the back of their wardrobe. Matt never touched Zack’s clutter. It was their deal. He was safe for now.

“Bedroom!” Zack yelled back, picking up a book so it looked like he was actually doing something.

Zack held his breath as he heard his boyfriend walking up the stairs of their two-story loft-conversion apartment. Matt had originally wanted them to buy a house together when he’d gotten Zack to agree to move in with him two years ago, but Zack had persuaded him to settle with this gigantic super-modern loft apartment. True to Matt’s I-want-it-all nature, he’d bought the apartment below and built in a set of stairs, so that they practically had their own house anyway. Whatever. At least they didn’t have a freaking white picket fence.

“Evening, baby. I saw your car in the parking lot so I knew you were here. What are you doing home so early?” Matt grinned, shutting their bedroom door behind him.

Zack worked odd shifts in a local bar, sometimes having the late shift, meaning he was often home later than Matt. But not today.

“I, uh, was sent home for being sick,” Zack said awkwardly, knowing it was no use in lying because Matt would just phone the bar if he didn’t believe Zack.

“Are you okay?” Matt immediately fussed, putting his hand to Zack’s forehead.

Zack fought the urge to bat his hands away, and just put the book down instead.

“Just flu. I’ll be fine in a couple of days,” Zack lied.

Matt frowned even more, clearly not believing Zack.

“Can’t you at least go to the doctors to check? You could have a tummy bug and we both know how ill you get from those,” Matt said firmly.

Zack rolled his eyes. If he went to the doctors then Matt would find out about the bun in his oven and that’s would be a big no-no.

“I’ll be fine, okay?” Zack said stubbornly.

“I’m not happy with thi…”

Matt’s voice trailed off as Zack ran to their en-suite bathroom, immediately hunching over the toilet, emptying his stomach for the third time this day. What the fuck? He thought it was only meant to be morning sickness!

“It’s okay Zack, let it all out,” Matt soothed, rubbing Zack’s back.

Zack just wanted to cry. He’d never be able to find someone as willing as Matt to look after him when he was sick, and he could imagine it would only increase if he found out Zack was pregnant – and that only made him feel worse. This was exactly what Matt wanted and Zack didn’t want any of it.

“Please let me book a doctor’s appointment for you,” Matt murmured.

Zack just shook his head pathetically, flushing the toilet chain. Matt sighed and left the room suddenly, confusing Zack. What was Matt’s problem? He wasn’t the one being sick. Shakily Zack stood up and rinse his mouth out with mint-wash before brushing his teeth and wiping his mouth clean. Yeah, he was getting pretty good at removing any trace of vomit. Fifteen minutes after Matt had left, Zack had just made it back to their bedroom when Matt walked in, carrying a tray with a bowl on, a blanket and a hot water bottle. Tears sprang to his eyes all over again.

“I was thinking was could watch a movie or two in here tonight,” Matt said warmly.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Zack mumbled, biting his bottom lip.

Matt shrugged, smiling. “I wanted to,” he said.

Matt helped Zack sit on the bed with pillows propping up his back, and covered him with the blanket, placing the hot water bottle in his lap before handing him the soup. Chicken noodle. Zack’s favourite. Matt then slotted in a DVD for the widescreen TV before sitting next to Zack, sliding his arm round Zack’s shoulders and pressing play on the remote. Fast and Furious 5. Zack’s favourite.

“Blow,” Matt ordered, holding a spoon-full in front of Zack.

Zack did so before opening and swallowing, making Matt smile.

“I love you,” he murmured, kissing Zack’s cheek.

“I love you too,” Zack said softly.

*

“Right, get up and get dressed,” Matt ordered.

“Why?” Zack groaned pathetically.

“Because you’ve been throwing up constantly for the past three days! I’ve booked you a doctor’s appointment and we’re going right now for it,” Matt said firmly.

No!

“You can’t make me,” Zack said childishly.

“I will drag you if I have to,” Matt warned.

Matt had that look in his eyes that told Zack he wasn’t joking. With a groan Zack got off their bed and stripped out of his boxers, not even caring that he was fully naked. Matt may have old-fashioned ideas about not liking being naked but Zack couldn’t give a damn. It was his bedroom. Matt folded his arms and waited for Zack to pull on a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie and a grey beanie to cover his messy hair, before they walked down to Matt’s Jaguar. Yes, a fucking Jaguar. Matt had tried to persuade Zack to let him buy Zack a Jaguar too, but Zack refused to replace his banged-up 1968 Dodge Charger. It had character.

Soon enough Matt pulled into a parking space outside a fancy-looking doctor’s office, and cut the engine.

“The doctor is an old college friend of mine, Rian. He’s got a great reputation,” Matt announced.

“Rian from college? That guy you had a thing with that you only ended just before me?” Zack said sharply, raising an eyebrow.

Matt blushed, confirming Zack’s accusation. Great. Just fucking great.

“That was 7 years ago, longer than Rian and I were ever…together. And yes, I ended it because I met you. Besides, he’s the best doctor in the area and I only want the best for you,” Matt said firmly.

Zack sighed but nodded. Maybe Rian would just say that he had a cold. Maybe he could pay Rian not to tell Matt. Maybe he could just run away and leave the two of them together. No, he didn’t want to share Matt. Not with anyone, especially not successful Doctor Dawson.

“Let’s get this over with,” Zack mumbled.

Matt smiled and pecked Zack’s lips with a kiss, before getting out the car, Zack reluctantly getting out too. They walked into the office hand-in-hand, Zack slightly intimidated by the shiny whiteness of it all. Fuck, even the couches looked upper class. Zack didn’t fit in here.

“Appointment for Zack Merrick?” Matt said at the desk.

Zack made a soft noise of protest. He could talk for himself, thank you very much.

“Doctor Dawson will be right out with you,” the smily-woman said.

Matt thanked her and led the two of them to a sofa, Matt holding Zack’s hand while they waited. Zack felt more and more uncomfortable the longer he sat there. This was a bad idea.

“Zack Merrick?”

Fuck. Matt grinned and pulled Zack to his feet, towards a man with a buzz-cut hair, wide pearly-white grin and a handsome face. Fuck. He was totally Matt’s type. Zack held Matt’s hand a little tighter as they walked into the office, flinching when Matt shut the door behind them.

“Matt fucking Flyzik, after all these years! How are you doing, man?” Rian grinned.

“Not too shabby, Dawson. The CEO of my dad’s company, but who’s bragging?” Matt grinned back.

Zack rolled his eyes.

“This must be your…” Rian looked down at the paper in his hand, “…boyfriend Zack. It’s great to meet you,”

Zack forced a smile on his face. “Likewise,” he said fakely.

“What seems to be the problem?” Rian asked, inviting them to sit down on a set of chairs.

“Zack’s been throwing up a lot lately and he swears it’s just the flu and he does get bad stomach bugs a lot so I just want to check it isn’t anything serious,” Matt explained.

Rian looked right into Zack’s eyes and right then Zack knew that Rian knew. Well, fuck.

“Okay, I’ll do a few blood tests and get the results back to you in a couple of days, okay?” Rian said to the both of them, his eyes flicking back to Zack.

Zack just nodded meekly. If Rian guessed straight away, then he was doomed.

*

It was the day that Rian said he’d call about the results. Zack had worked 8pm-3am the previous night and therefore didn’t have to work the day shift, so he was just sitting and waiting nervously. What made things worse was that Matt had decided to work on his paperwork at home, and he was constantly fluttering around Zack to check if he was okay.

Zack was far from fucking okay, but he couldn’t tell Matt that.

“Baby, calm down, it’ll be okay. You’ll just have a tummy bug and we can get the medication and then you’ll be better, alright?” Matt cooed, walking into their living room. Again.

“Go away,” Zack mumbled.

Matt chuckled and sat down next to Zack, running his fingers through Zack’s hair. Zack moaned softly at the feeling. He loved when Matt massaged his head like this. Matt smiled as Zack started to relax, pressing gentle kisses into his neck. Zack couldn’t help the louder moan that slipped from his lips. It had been nearly two weeks since they last were intimate, due to Zack being ill and Matt’s workload, and just those kisses sent his skin tingling. It didn’t help that Matt was a fantastic lover. And it seemed that Matt wanted the same as him because in no time at all Zack was on his back in just his boxers and Matt was hovering over him in just jeans, their hips grinding together and their lips moving eagerly in a heated embrace. Finally. Zack might get laid for once.

But as Matt’s hands moved to the waistband of his boxers, Zack froze. W-What if sex harmed the baby? He didn’t know if it was the same for women and men, but surely sex couldn’t be a good thing? Fuck, he might not want the baby but he sure as hell wasn’t going to damage it.

“M-Matt stop,” Zack choked, pushing on his chest.

“What?” Matt said, confused, “why?”

Zack shimmied out from underneath him and sat upright.

“I can’t. Not now,” Zack mumbled.

Matt groaned but sat upright too. He assumed that Zack was too nervous about the doctor’s results to focus on sex, but seriously? Zack had never refused sex before and that worried him. This wasn’t like Zack at all. They got dressed in silence, ignoring their deflating erections, Zack almost shouting in joy when the phone rang.

“Hello?” Zack asked anxiously.

“Zack? It’s Rian Dawson. I have your blood test results,” Rian said.

“And?” Zack winced.

“I think you should come into the office. I have an appointment free in half an hour if you and Matt can both make it,” Rian suggested.

Zack sighed and moved the phone away from his ear.

“Rian wants us to come in, he says he has a free spot in half an hour,” Zack murmured.

“Is everything okay?” Matt asked worriedly.

Zack shrugged and put the phone back to his ear.

“Yeah we’ll be there,” Zack mumbled.

“Great, see you soon,” Rian said cheerfully.

Why the fuck is he so cheerful? Zack’s world is about to end. Zack sighed again and put the phone down, not saying anything.

“So that’s it? He didn’t say why he wants us in?” Matt exasperated.

“No, just that we should come in,” Zack replied softly.

“Fuck,” Matt grumbled, “we might as well grab our shit and go now, it’ll take 20 minutes to get there at this time of day,”

Zack just nodded and followed him. He couldn’t do anything now. Unless Rian is a really shitty doctor (and Zack guessed not with the size of the cheque that Matt wrote), there’s no way that those blood test results won’t show that he’s pregnant. Fucking great.

Sooner than Zack liked, they were sitting and waiting in the doctor’s office. Matt’s hand was resting on Zack’s thigh and he kept whispering reassuring things like ‘everything will be fine, baby’ or ‘maybe this stomach bug is a stomach infection and he needs to check for other symptoms’ and shit like that. Zack dreaded his reaction to finding out the truth, he really did.

“Zack and Matt?”

They got up silently, Matt now holding Zack’s hand. Zack ignored Matt’s frown when Zack took his hand out of Matt’s in the office and folded his arms over his chest, looking down at the floor while Rian sat down in front of them.

“Your blood results showed only one thing, Zack,” Rian started.

Zack held his breath.

“You’re pregnant, congratulations,” Rian smiled.

Matt’s jaw dropped and Zack just burst into tears. What? It’s not like he fucking wanted to be pregnant.

“O-Oh my gosh, are you sure?” Matt gasped, a smile spreading across his lips.

“Absolutely. Zack is definitely pregnant. Now, I’m a qualified obstetrician so if you want to set up your baby appointments with me, that’s absolutely fine. If not I can send your blood results on to another doctor,” Rian told them.

“Of course we will set up with you, right Zack?” Matt grinned.

Zack was still crying so he didn’t answer.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy? Why are you crying?” Matt frowned.

“Of course I’m not fucking happy! I’ve known for a week that I was pregnant and I was wishing it wasn’t true!” Zack whimpered.

Matt’s jaw clenched, his eyes wide with shock. Rian stood up from his chair.

“I’ll give the two of you a minute,” he announced, before leaving the room.

Matt immediately let rip.

“How the fuck could you lie to me like this?! You know how much I want a baby!” Matt exploded.

“And you know how much I don’t want one! I’m 24, Matt! I’m not ready!” Zack retorted, sniffing.

“We’ve been together 5 years, Zack. We’ve lived together for 2 and we’ve known each other for 7 – how can you not want to take the next step? I’m 28 now, I want a future with you in a family of my own!” Matt exasperated.

“That’s just it, Matt. I can’t see kids in my future, I really can’t,” Zack choked

“Can you see me in your future?” Matt asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Of course I fucking can, you know how much I love you,” Zack exasperated.

“Then how can’t you see my kid in it? How can’t you see our kid, the one that’s growing inside you right now?” Matt said angrily.

“Because you want too much from me! You always fucking have! I’m only 24, I’m not ready for parenthood!” Zack persisted.

“You’re not ready for anything, Zack. You barely want anything from our relationship. Fuck, do you even want a relationship with me?” Matt scowled.

“Don’t say shit like that,” Zack whimpered.

“Or what? You’re going to cry to Alex and Jack before going out to party your troubles away? John was right, you don’t take anything seriously, not even a baby,” Matt scoffed.

Zack’s jaw dropped as Matt stormed out of the office, tears welling up in his eyes all over again. Matt had never spoken to him like that before. Never. Zack’s hands shook as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialling the one person he knew wouldn’t judge him.

His best friend Alex.

“Hey Zacky baby, what’s up?” Alex answered cheerfully.

“A-Are you busy a-at the moment?” Zack sniffed, his bottom lip trembling.

Zack heard muffled mumbles of ‘leave, now’, before Alex spoke again.

“I’m not anymore. Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” Alex asked.

“I-I need you to pick me up from Dawson and Trent doctor’s office, out on South Boulevard,” Zack mumbled.

“Yeah I know where that is. Why the fuck are you there?” Alex frowned.

“I’ll explain when you get here,” Zack promised.

“Alright, I’ll be there asap,” Alex told him.

Zack ended the call, before sighing and running his hand through his hair. Just when he thought his life couldn’t get any worse, Matt flips out on him and leaves him stranded in the middle of nowhere with no car. Just perfect. At least he could count on Alex. Zack reluctantly got out of the chair and left Rian’s office, avoiding the older man’s gaze when he saw him standing at the front desk.

“Matt made an appointment for next week for your first ultrasound, to see how far along you are,” Rian told him.

“Okay thanks,” Zack mumbled, taking the appointment card Rian handed over.

Zack almost flinched when Rian put his hand on his shoulder.

“Everything will be fine, you’ll see,” Rian reassured.

Yeah fucking right. Zack just nodded before leaving the office, sitting on the steps outside until Alex’s cherry red 1964 Impala SS pulled up.

“You look like shit,” Alex commented, as Zack opened the door and got in.

“Feel like it,” Zack muttered.

Alex raised an eyebrow but drove to the exit. Ladies and gentlemen, Alex Gaskarth, artist extraordinaire. Besides owning his own gallery in the city, Alex also painted and sculpted for other galleries, and earned a decent amount from it. Zack had known the laid-back 24 year old since high school, and relied on him for nearly everything. Apart from his opinion on Matt – Alex thought Matt was a boring prude who’s holding Zack back in life. Zack didn’t like that opinion but Alex was stubborn and there was no changing him.

Alex pulled out onto the main road before turning his head slightly to look at Zack.

“So…fess up,” Alex ordered.

Zack sighed, running his tongue over his lips before replying.

“I’m pregnant. I lied to Matt about it and he just found out now at the doctor’s appointment and he ditched me,” Zack blurted.

Alex’s jaw dropped, much like Matt’s had done.

“Holy shit, you’re pregnant?!” Alex yelped.

“Mmhmm,” Zack sighed.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I could’ve come with you and Matt wouldn’t have had to know!” Alex grumbled.

“Yeah, well, I was hoping it wasn’t true,” Zack sighed.

Alex scowled.

“You told Matt that, didn’t you? That you didn’t want a baby? Is that why he ditched you?” Alex said through gritted teeth.

Zack just nodded sadly, making Alex let out an aggravated sigh.

“Angry or not, you don’t leave a pregnant person with no ride home! What an asshole! Some CEO if he can’t even handle his own pregnant boyfriend,” Alex ranted.

The corner of Zack’s lips curled into a smile. That was the best thing he’d heard all day. Then he remembered what else Matt had said.

“He said that John was right about me not taking anything seriously. He was so mad at me, Alex. I’ve never seen him that mad,” Zack said softly.

“Fuck him,” Alex shrugged.

“Alex!” Zack whined.

“I’m serious, Zack. If he’s going to rant and rave at you about something you’re scared of, about something you’re not ready for that was his fault anyway, and then ditch you in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, then fuck him. Come at stay at mine until your head is sorted out,” Alex suggested.

“I-I can’t do that,” Zack stammered.

“I’m just trying to stop you getting any more hurt. We can figure out what to do in a stress-free calm environment where you won’t be pressured by the stick-up-his-ass guy you call your boyfriend to do something you’re not sure on. Stay at mine,” Alex repeated, a soft smile on his lips.

Zack chewed his bottom lip. Maybe it would be best to give Matt some space. Even though it’s Zack body and Zack’s decision, Matt deserved time to clear his head and calm down before they next met. Zack couldn’t bear the thought of Matt yelling at him like that again. No way.

“Okay, I’ll stay with you for a bit,” Zack nodded.

“Great, we can go get some of your stuff now and then go get pre-natal vitamins and shit. You need them,” Alex said firmly.

Zack just smiled weakly and nodded. At least he could depend on Alex to help him rather than freak out and leave like Matt did. The drive was short but silent, only David Bowie’s voice singing softly from Alex’s scratchy radio, and when they pulled up outside Zack’s building, Matt’s car was nowhere to be seen.

“I bet he’s with John, saying how much of a mistake it was to still be with me,” Zack said miserably.

“Hey, you are not a mistake, you’re the best thing that ever fucking happened to him. And John O-fucking-Callaghan is an asshole who needs to learn when to get his big nose out of other people’s business,” Alex said matter-of-factly.

A giggle slipped from Zack’s lips, making Alex smile. At least Zack wasn’t completely past being a little happy. They made their way up to the loft, Zack grabbing two duffel bags from the closet by the front door before they walked up to the bedroom.

“Uh, if you grab a load of t-shirts from those drawers, I’ll grab underwear and jeans,” Zack told Alex.

Alex just nodded, getting to work. In no time at all they’d filled the two bags, including shoes, sweatpants, hats, scarves, socks, hoodies, wash stuff and a few personal things like Zack’s iPod, a few books and a photo of him and Matt from the side. Matt still wasn’t back, so Zack scrawled a quick note and pinned it to the fridge with a magnet, tears pricking at his eyes.

He really thought Matt would’ve come back by now. He could only hope that this really wasn’t the end of them.

“Come on babe, let’s get out of here,” Alex said softly, hating how upset Matt could make his best friend.

Zack nodded sadly and followed Alex out, making sure to double lock everything.

*

Matt had only meant to stay out for an hour or so. He only meant to go over to his best friend John’s office and rant for a little while before coming back to Zack. But an hour turned into a few hours, which then turned into a few drinks, which then turned to Matt being too drunk to walk and John having to drive him back to his and Zack’s apartment.

“He’s probably in bed, crying about me not being there. I should’ve been home,” Matt slurred, clutching at John’s body.

“You shouldn’t have had those last 4 pints, but that didn’t stop you,” John mused, taking the keys from Matt’s shaking hand and unlocking his front door.

“D-Don’t make jokes, Johnny boy. This is serious. My b-boyfriend is pregnant with my child and he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want it and I just left him! Who knows what he could’ve done!” Matt ranted.

John sighed and dumped Matt in an armchair, going to the kitchen to grab him a bottle of water. But John froze when he saw the neatly-scrawled note pinned to the fridge and grabbed it, immediately going back to Matt’s side.

“I know what he’s done. Zack’s gone,” John said firmly, not quite believing it.

Matt seemed to jolt back into consciousness, sitting upright with his eyes wide.

“What?” he said, confused.

“Zack’s not here anymore. He wrote this note,” John explained, handing over the post-it.

Matt squinted as he read:

Matt,
I’m sorry about not telling you. I really am.
I just don’t know what to do.
I know you’re mad so I’m going to stay at Alex’s for a while.
Give me a call when you want to speak to me again.

Love,
Zack

Matt couldn’t control the tears that fell from his eyes, sobs tearing from his throat in a messy, noisy fashion. Zack…Zack had left him. Zack had left him because he was scared and because Matt flipped out. This was his fault, and now Zack was gone.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” John begged, crouching down to Matt’s level.

“He left me, John. How can I calm down?” Matt choked.

“He didn’t say that he’d broken up with you, just that he’s staying at Alex’s for a while. It’ll be okay,” John reassured.

“Don’t feed me this fake bullshit, John, you’ve always hated Zack. You’re probably ecstatic that he’s gone,” Matt said angrily.

“Yeah, I would be ecstatic normally, but not if it comes with the price of you being torn up like this! Give me a little credit,” John frowned.

“Sorry,” Matt sniffed, “I shouldn’t have said that,”

“It’s okay, you’re upset, I get it,” John said softly.

This was the last thing John expected when Matt had arrived at his office this afternoon.

“What do I do, John? I can’t lose him,” Matt whispered.

“You have to show Zack that you want to be with him more than anything, that you love him and you love your baby. You’ve got to show him that this baby is a good thing, that the two of you can do this together,” John insisted.

“And this is why you’re the most highly-paid therapist in the city,” Matt sniffed.

“Well, yeah, but I’m being serious. You’ve got to prove to Zack that you’re not going anywhere,” John said.

“But how? He’s not even here anymore. He’s with Alex fucking Gaskarth, the boy that hates me,” Matt grumbled.

“This is what we do. We drive over there, I distract Gaskarth and you sweep Zack off his feet. Simple,” John shrugged.

“Really? We could do that?” Matt frowned.

“Well, you need to drink this water and change out of your shirt first,” John mused.

Oh yeah. Matt had spilt the remainder of one of his later pints down this shirt. Not a good impression. Matt got changed into sweatpants and a polo shirt, grabbed his coat again and followed John back down to his car, chugging the water. He knew he would have a hangover tomorrow morning but if he could get Zack back tonight it would be worth it.

The drive took longer than usual, due to Matt’s slightly-intoxicated state and John’s lack of knowledge on where Alex lived, but they eventually found the small house, Matt smiling when he saw a light on in the front room still. Zack! Matt rang the doorbell twice, waiting nervously with John by his side until the door opened, revealing a disgruntled Alex, who took one look at them before closing the door again. Undeterred, Matt held his finger down on the doorbell until Alex opened the door once more.

“Shut the fuck up, Zack is trying to sleep. I’ve only just got him to calm down after crying solidly for four hours,” Alex scowled.

A lump rose in Matt’s throat. Zack couldn’t stop crying? For four hours?

“A-Alex?”

Matt’s eyes travelled up to the sad voice coming from the landing, and pushed past Alex as soon as he saw Zack, red-rimmed eyes and all.

“Great fucking job, Flyzik,” Alex muttered.

“Matt! What are you doing here?” Zack said surprised.

“He’s about to leave if he doesn’t want me to call the cops,” Alex said firmly.

Matt swallowed heavily. Okay, maybe he could understand Alex’s anger.

“Like the cops would even come out to a house like this. Which, by the way, is no suitable place for a pregnant person to be living,” John scoffed.

“It’s a perfectly safe house and fuck you O’Callaghan, I didn’t ask for your unimportant opinion,” Alex retorted.

“Unimportant? I’m the best therapist in the fucking city, you’re someone who just doodles on a bit of paper and expects people to buy it! I have an important input into society, and you do fuck all!” John said angrily.

Zack winced. If there was one thing no-one should do, it was insult Alex’s artwork.

“First of all, Mr Important Therapist, I think…”

Matt ignored Alex’s ranting as he saw Zack beckoning him up the stairs. Matt walked up as quietly as he could. It’s not like Alex and John were paying attention to anything other than their argument. Once they were inside Alex’s guest room, Matt reached for Zack’s hands, but he backed away. Okay, that hurt a little. Matt cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets, looking at his boyfriend awkwardly. Never in the 7 years that he had known Zack had he not been able to think of anything to say.

“Why are you here, Matt?” Zack asked softly, breaking their silence.

“To bring you back home. I was an idiot for walking out on you like that and I want to make it up to you. Please come back home, darling. For our child’s sake,” Matt said.

Zack grimaced at Matt’s mention of their child. He never thought he’d hear those words, and it’s not like he expected them.

“I-I can’t. Not right now,” Zack mumbled.

A flash of hurt passed through Matt. What?

“Why not?” he frowned.

“I can’t be around you right now. My head is messed up enough as it is, I can’t add your anger at me lying and your happiness of having a child on the way to that,” Zack explained.

“Y-You’re not going to…y’know…get rid of the baby, are you?” Matt panicked.

Zack paled, shaking his head.

“Fuck no,” he whispered.

Matt let out a sigh of relief.

“Good. That’s…good. I just, I wish you would come home, Zack. All your stuff is there,” Matt said sadly.

“Actually, most of it is here now. Alex and I packed a few bags before I wrote the note,” Zack said, blushing slightly.

Matt narrowed his eyes at the duffel bags in the corner. Fucking Alex.

“Please don’t be mad, Matt? This is just until the air is cleared and until I know what I’m doing. This was a shock for me and I’m still wrapping my head around it,” Zack said softly.

Matt sighed, but nodded.

“If that’s what you want, Zack. Just know that you can come back at any time, okay? Any time at all. And if you need anything, even just a cravings run in the middle of the night, you can call me, okay?” Matt insisted.

Zack smiled softly, a little relieved that Matt wasn’t going to argue with him over this.

“Can I still come to the baby appointments?” Matt asked hesitantly.

Zack swallowed heavily before nodding. Matt was the father, after all.

“Yeah, Rian said you set one up for next week so I can meet you there,” Zack said.

Matt forced a smile onto his lips. He was actually hoping Zack would let him drive him there, but he would take what he could get.

“Thank you. Um, I’d better get John out of here before him and Alex kill each other. Remember, call me whenever you want and come back whenever you want,” Matt said firmly.

“Sure,” Zack said quietly.

Matt hesitated briefly before stepping forward and pressing his lips to Zack’s in a slow kiss, smiling when Zack leant into his touch, savouring the feeling of Matt’s lip ring against his bottom lip. Zack broke the kiss with a weak smile.

“I love you,” Matt murmured, cupping Zack’s face with his hands.

“I-I love you too,” Zack stammered.

Matt smiled a little wider, pecking Zack’s lips again before leaving the room. Zack whimpered and sat down on Alex’s guest bed, tears pricking at his eyes. He couldn’t believe he’d actually stuck to his guns and not gone back with Matt. Alex would be so proud of him for standing up for himself, but Zack couldn’t be more miserable. He missed Matt’s hands, Matt’s arms, Matt’s lips already.

Zack didn’t realise he was crying until Alex slammed the door open, a deep scowl on his face.

“Who the fuck does John fucking O’Callaghan think he is?! Storming into my house and giving me a lecture on how to live my life and how I shouldn’t get involved in others! He’s such a fucking hypocrite! He’s as much involved from Matt’s side as I am in yours. He’s such a fucking asshole, I don’t even know how Matt’s friends with him. How fucking dare he tell me that art is not a worthwhile career choice? All he does all day is sit on his ass and listen to people talking. What the fuck is that about? I seriously think…”

Alex trailed off, suddenly noticing the tears trailing down Zack’s cheeks, and his best friend’s miserable expression.

“Oh doll, I’m sorry, I’m being selfish. Are you okay? Did Matt hurt you? Can I go and kick his ass?” Alex asked worriedly.

“N-No, I’m fine, I just…I miss him, Alex! He begged me to come home and I said I couldn’t right now and I miss him!” Zack whined.

Alex sighed as Zack started sobbing all over again, and sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around his broad frame. Baby hormones.

“At least you’ve talked to him. At least the two of you are on a level ground right now. Just…take the next few days easy, only talk to him if you have to, and clear your head. That’s why you’re here, remember? To clear your head. So just take a deep breath, and chill,” Alex soothed.

It took a while for Zack to be able to calm down, but when he did Alex helped him lie down on the bed, pulling the duvet over his shaking frame.

“Everything will be fine, Zack. You’ll see. Whether it ends up being you and me taking care of your demon spawn, everything will work out,” Alex promised.

Zack laughed weakly and nodded, wiping his face dry with his hands.

“Thanks Lex. You’re the best,” Zack mumbled.

“I know I am. Night, Zack,” Alex smiled, pressing a kiss to Zack’s forehead.

Zack barely whispered a reply before he fell asleep.

*

A week passed of Zack living with Alex, and Zack could honestly say it was the worst week of his life. Not because of Alex’s company, no. His best friend had made sure that, along with their other friend Jack, Zack was given every support possible, including car rides whenever, plenty of pre-natal vitamins, no more cigarettes in the house and a healthy diet. Alex even cut down on his drinking so Zack wouldn’t feel left out now that he couldn’t drink either.

It was the worst week of Zack’s life because he wasn’t with Matt. 5 years was a long time to hear his boyfriend’s voice every day if he didn’t see him every day, so to be apart so abruptly was a shock to his system, nearly as much as baby sickness was. But Zack sucked it up, carrying on with his life as normal, carrying on working at the bar like he did 5 days a week, just not accepting shots from customers and staying out of the smoking area. He wasn’t stupid.

Alex had to be at his gallery when it came time for Zack’s next doctor’s appointment, so Jack volunteered to drive Zack out there, which Zack eagerly agreed to. Jack Barakat was a 22 year old trust fund baby who spent his time sleeping, eating, drinking and fucking, in no particular order, so he always had free time when it came to hanging out with Alex and Zack. Zack had met him when he first started working in the bar just after college because Jack was a regular – both he and Alex warmed to his innocent yet fun-loving nature and that was that. Sometimes Zack wondered how Jack filled his days when he didn’t have a job, but Jack just smirked. Zack didn’t ask again after that.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright? Do you want me to come in with you?” Jack asked, pulling up outside the main entrance.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be alright, I can still walk without assistance. I’ll give you a call for a ride home though, if Matt doesn’t show up,” Zack replied.

“Okay, if you’re sure. Let me know how it goes, yeah?” Jack smiled.

“Will do,” Zack nodded, getting out of the car.

Zack sighed as Jack’s car drove away, slowly making his way into the building. What surprised him was that Matt was already waiting in the main office, a nervous look on his face turning into a smile when he saw Zack.

“Hey,” Matt said happily.

Zack smiled back. As he reached Matt’s side though, Matt kissed his lips in greeting, making him freeze. Matt instantly cursed.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I know you probably didn’t want that right now,” Matt said awkwardly.

Zack shook his head. “No, it’s okay. Habit, I guess,”

Matt swallowed heavily and forced a smile on his face, sitting down next to Zack. At least Zack was letting him be here. That was what’s important.

“So I, uh, told my parents, about you being pregnant,” Matt announced quietly.

“You did?” Zack asked weakly.

“Yeah, they’re thrilled,” Matt nodded, grinning.

Matt’s grin faded at Zack’s pale face.

“What’s wrong?” Matt asked softly.

“I just…I wasn’t expecting you to share the news so soon,” Zack said.

Shit. He’d pushed Zack too far again.

“I’m sorry, Zack. I really am. I should’ve asked you first. It’s just that the more I thought about our baby the more I got excited and then I just had to tell someone before I burst! My parents have wanted grandchildren for ages and now that we have a child on the way…”

Zack pressed a finger to Matt’s lips to stop him talking.

“Stop. It’s okay, I guess. It’s not like the ba…it’s going anywhere,” Zack winced.

Matt let out a sigh of relief and nodded, taking Zack’s hand in his and pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

“I’m sorry. I promise I won’t tell another person until you say so,” Matt said happily, stroking his thumb over Zack’s knuckles.

Zack couldn’t stop a small smile crossing his lips. Sometimes Matt’s excitement about things was too adorable.

“Zack Merrick and Matt Flyzik?”

“That’s us,” Matt grinned.

Zack chuckled but stood up, not pulling his hand out of Matt’s hold as they walked into the room next to Rian’s office.

“Morning! Zack, if you’d like to lie down on the chair and we’ll get started,” Rian smiled.

Zack nodded, still holding Matt’s hand as he got comfortable.

“And pull up your hoodie for me,” Rian instructed.

Zack did so, feeling a little chill from the air. He wasn’t showing a bump yet, his stomach underneath his belly button was just a bit harder than usual, a little sloped if anything.

“Okay this will be cold,” Rian smiled, holding up a tube of gel.

Zack couldn’t help but yelp as Rian squirted the gel on his stomach, making Matt and Rian laugh. Zack blushed. Rian spread the gel across Zack’s skin with the wand, smiling down at Zack before focussing on a point and pointing to the small screen next to them.

“Alright, here’s where your baby is. It’s not much right now, but if you look there you should be able to see a small blob. That’s your little fetus,” Rian grinned.

Zack bit his bottom lip as Matt gasped. That was their baby, right there. Fuck.

“By the looks of things, the little one is two months along. I can check your blood tests to make sure, and then we can work out a projection of the trimesters, okay?” Rian told Zack.

All Zack could do was nod. That was a living creature inside his belly. Wow. Rian smiled at them as he cleaned the goo off Zack’s stomach, Zack pulling his hoodie down straight after.

“I’m printing the scan for you to take home. Are you eating healthily Zack? And taking pre-natal vitamins?” Rian asked.

“Yeah, Alex and Jack, my friends, have worked out a healthy eating plan, and they bought me a load of vitamins,” Zack nodded.

“And you’ve stopped drinking, smoking or taking drugs, if you do any of them?” Rian asked.

“Mmhmm, I haven’t drunk since I figured it out myself, and Alex and Jack now smoke outside the house. That includes weed, so I’m not doing drugs either,” Zack reassured.

“That’s good. You appear to be absolutely fine, so if you schedule another appointment for…three weeks time?” Rian suggested.

Zack smiled and nodded, Matt squeezing his hand as he smiled too. Two months along. Who would’ve guessed.

“You know, two months ago was when we took that trip to New York and spent all night making love in the hotel suite jacuzzi,” Matt murmured in his ear, when Rian left the room to get their scan pictures.

“Matt!” Zack squeaked, batting his boyfriend’s arm.

“Don’t act like you don’t remember how good I made you feel,” Matt smirked, kissing the side of Zack’s head.

Zack’s cheeks were still flushed when Rian walked back in the room, making him raise his eyebrow but smile.

“Okay, I’ve got two copies so you can both take one, okay?” Rian announced.

“Two copies?” Zack frowned.

Why would they need two copies? Unless…Matt had told Rian about their argument and how they weren’t living together. Fuck.

“Thanks Rian, we’ll see you soon,” Matt said suddenly, standing up.

Zack pulled his hand out of Matt’s hold and refused to hold it again while Matt sorted out the next appointment, not even looking at him as they left the building.

“What is your problem?” Matt snapped when they got into Matt’s car.

“What the fuck do you think my problem is?! You’ve been gossiping to your old fuck about our problems!” Zack growled.

“Firstly, don’t call Rian that. Secondly, he asked how everything was going!” Matt sighed.

“You didn’t have to tell him everything. You could’ve lied,” Zack retorted.

Matt rolled his eyes and pulled out of his parking space, only making Zack angrier.

“When did you tell him?” Zack asked bitterly as Matt drove out onto the main road.

“A few days back. We went for a drink after work. I told him that we were spending some time living apart for a little while,” Matt muttered.

Zack’s jaw dropped slightly. Matt went out for a drink with another man? An old flame?

“Take me to Alex’s,” Zack demanded.

“But…”

“Alex’s,” Zack repeated firmly, folding his arms over his chest.

Matt clenched his teeth but nodded. Fine.

*

Matt hadn’t spoken to Zack since the doctor’s appointment. Not a single word. Not for a whole week. Matt didn’t know what he’d done that was so bad for Zack to refuse to talk to him, he honestly didn’t. He’d gone as far as to go to Alex’s gallery to find out if Zack was okay, but all he got from Alex was ‘if he wasn’t, I would’ve told you’. Great help Alex, thanks. All Matt could do, apart from leave multiple voicemails on Zack’s mobile phone and Alex’s home phone, was to wait until the next baby appointment, which was in two weeks time. Obviously he hoped that Zack would speak to him before then, but there was only so much he could do.

Matt was in his office in the company’s main building, reviewing some files for an investment some of the Senior Advisers were proposing, when a wave of sadness washed over him. Never had he thought his life would turn out like this. So messed up and chaotic. Matt hated mess – he liked order and clean-cut situations. Not this kind of uncertainty.

Sure, as soon as he saw Zack when they first met in a dingy bar, he knew they would be together. Call him old-fashioned, but he just knew. It surprised him that Zack was only 17 and had actually got into the bar, but not as surprised as Zack was that someone who was 21 was actually interested in him. Matt had waited a year to let Zack know his intentions of pursuing him, when Zack was 18 so it was proper, and had then waited for Zack’s first year of college to pass (until he himself had graduated his four year business degree) to ask him to be his boyfriend. From then on they’d been inseparable, and despite Zack’s protests that they were moving too fast (hello, seven years?), he knew that Zack was The One.

But now? Fuck if he knew what was going to happen. He was over the moon with joy that Zack was pregnant, he’d wanted it for so long, but the fact that Zack wasn’t even half as happy as Matt worried him. He wanted to be in their baby’s life more than anything and if Zack refused him that he didn’t know what he wasn’t going to do. He really didn’t.

Matt’s secretary Janie, a nice middle-aged woman with ginger hair, brought him in a cup of tea, smiled and then left. Matt liked her. She didn’t ask questions. He pulled out his phone and sent Zack his usual 11am text.

Hey darling, I just wanted to know how you and the baby are doing. It would be great if you could let me know that you’re both okay. Love you x

Matt relaxed back in his chair with a sigh. Hopefully he’d actually get a reply this time. When his phone buzzed 5 minutes later, Matt almost fell off his chair. Zack. Matt grinned. Finally! Zack wanted to talk! But what he read when he opened the text was the last thing he was expecting:

The baby and I are both fine. Alex and Jack are going to the doctor’s appointment with me in two weeks so you aren’t obligated to go anymore. Please stop calling Alex’s home phone. You filled the machine so his momma couldn’t leave a message. I’ll text you if anything’s wrong with the baby. Z

What? Zack…what?

Matt read the text over and over, not being able to stop the tears that fell from his eyes. Zack didn’t want him to contact him anymore. Zack didn’t want Matt to go to the baby appointments. Zack didn’t want him.

It was over.

He didn’t know how long he was crying for, but his throat was scratchy and his eyes were stinging when his office door slammed open, revealing John, who looked pissed off.

“Care to explain why I got a call from your secretary saying that you’d been crying in here for the good part of two hours?” John said through gritted teeth.

Matt just handed over his phone, letting John read the text from Zack. Matt didn’t have to look up at John to know he was angry as he slammed Matt’s phone down on the desk.

“Who the fuck does he think he is?! Alex isn’t even the father!” John exploded.

“You forgot Jack,” Matt sighed.

“Please, Barakat is only going along to check out any potential fucks. Alex is the one that put him up to this, I know he is,” John growled, clenching his fists.

“Zack doesn’t want me anymore. He doesn’t want me in our baby’s life,” Matt mumbled.

“He can’t legally force you out of the baby’s life, not if you take him to court over it,” John said angrily.

“I’m not taking Zack to court!” Matt wailed.

“Then what the fuck are you going to do?! You don’t deserve to get treated like this!” John exclaimed, throwing his arms wide.

Matt just shook his head miserably, shrugging. John groaned and sat down in the seat opposite Matt’s desk, and slammed his hands on the table.

“Zack fucking Merrick does not get to order you around like this, Matt. You have done nothing but support him, and he’s a fucking jerk if he thinks he can kick you out of your child’s life like this. I have half a mind to go over there right now and…”

“No, just leave it, John. Zack’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with me,” Matt interrupted, tears glistening in his eyes all over again.

“But…”

“Please. Don’t make this worse for me than it already is,” Matt begged.

John stared at his best friend, the man who he’d never seen break down like this before, and hated what Matt was asking him to do. How could he just leave it?!

“Please, John,” Matt repeated, his voice barely a whisper.

John sighed but nodded reluctantly.

“The moment I think that you can’t cope, I’m going over there,” John warned.

“I’ll live. I’m a Flyzik, we survive,” Matt said with a weak smile.

*

Two weeks of so-called survival passed, and John was driving over to Alex’s house first thing in the morning. John had sat up all night with Matt crying into his shoulder because this morning was the day of the baby appointment that Zack had told Matt he couldn’t go to. And John was sick of it. Matt had been miserable every single fucking day since that text, and John was going to put a stop to it. Today.

When John pulled up outside Alex’s house he saw that the front door was open. Fuck, they must just be about to leave. Without any hesitation John leapt out the car and stormed into the house, his eyes landing on Zack straight away at the bottom of the stairs, his mouth open in surprise at seeing John.

“You have some fucking nerve, Merrick,” John growled.

“Th-This is nothing to do with you,” Zack mumbled.

“You’re kidding me, right?” John scowled.

Zack whimpered at the harsh tone of John’s voice. This was the last thing he wanted today.

“How is it nothing to do with me when I’ve had Matt crying to me down the phone or over lunch or actually on me for the past two weeks?! Do you have any idea what you’ve done to him?! You’re sick! You’re sick in the head if you think you can get away with trying to kick him out of his kid’s life! How dare you treat him like this when he’s done nothing but treat you like royalty?! You are nothing! You are worthless compared to Matt! He’s never listened to me! I always knew you’d pull a bitch move like this but no, Matt insisted you never would! I couldn’t be more right!” John yelled.

Tears fell messily down Zack’s cheeks but John didn’t look the least bit sorry.

“You don’t underst…”

“HEY! What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” Alex yelled, walking in from the kitchen, interrupting Zack’s whimpers.

“I’m sorting this jerk’s head out! You’re not the fucking father, Alex, you have no right to replace Matt at the baby appointments!” John spat.

“And you have no right to yell at a pregnant man! How dare you storm in here and act like this?!” Alex spat back.

“How dare I? How fucking dare I?! Matt is a wreck, a fucking wreck, and it’s all Zack’s fault!”

Zack ran through the foyer and into the kitchen, curling into a ball at the foot of the cabinets. He hated this. He hated yelling and he hated confrontation and he hated it when John did both. Especially now with the heightened baby hormones. This only made everything hurt worse. Zack whimpered when he heard even louder yelling and quickly pulled out his phone. There was only one person who could calm John down.

“Zack? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Matt asked worriedly, picking up after two dials.

“I-I…”

Zack yelped as he heard something crashing, and the yelling got even louder.

“What’s that yelling? Who’s there, Zack?” Matt demanded.

“I-It’s John. He came over and started yelling at me and now him and Alex are yelling at each other and I’m pretty sure one of them just threw a vase at the other. Please make it stop,” Zack mumbled.

“I’m coming over right now. Don’t move, okay?” Matt said.

Zack just ended the call, wrapping his arms around his legs as he pulled them up to his chin. Everything in the past three weeks had been so messed up. Between the thoughts of Matt and Rian going out drinking together, and Matt’s constant pleading texts and calls, and the fact that the baby now added constant peeing to it’s list of fun effects on Zack’s body, Zack was just as much a wreck as Matt.

He only told him not to come to the appointment to avoid having a breakdown in public.

“HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!”

Fuck, Matt drove fast.

“I’m doing what I swore I would do if you couldn’t cope with that text, Matt,” John said through gritted teeth.

“Like fuck you are, you just wanted to yell at Zack. Who yells at a pregnant person?!” Alex said angrily.

“Enough! Zack called me in tears because of what you two are doing, and begged me to come over to stop it! You’re just as bad as each other!” Matt exasperated.

They fell silent, and Zack heard Matt walk past them, so he buried his face in his knees.

“Oh Zack,” Matt murmured.

Zack flinched when Matt’s hands touched his shoulders, making him frown.

“Look what you two have done,” Matt said angrily.

“Shit, Zack, I’m sorry,” Alex gasped, running to Zack’s side.

Zack lifted his head to see Matt pushing Alex backwards slightly. What?

“Go and pack Zack’s bags. He’s coming back with me,” Matt said firmly.

“Like fuck he is,” John and Alex spat, before scowling at each other.

Well at least they agree on something for once.

“What? And stay here? Yeah that’s really going well,” Matt retorted.

Zack bit his bottom lip as Alex sneered at the two older men before he left the room, John just folding his arms over his chest as Matt helped Zack stand up from the ground.

“This is a mistake,” John said firmly.

Matt glared at his best friend, making Zack cringe.

“First of all, don’t you ever yell at my boyfriend again, do you hear me? Zack is carrying my child whether you like it or not, and if you ever make him this upset again you will regret it. And secondly, nothing with Zack is a mistake. Nothing,” Matt growled.

Zack felt his cheeks heat up at Matt’s words. Sure it sometimes annoyed him how protective Matt was, but right now it was a god-send to hear.

“Fine, whatever. I hope this fucking works out because I am not being used as a crying post again, Flyzik,” John said angrily.

“It will work out,” Matt said defiantly.

John rolled his eyes and left the kitchen, slamming the front door behind him when he left the house. Matt immediately turned to face Zack, his thumbs wiping the tears on the younger man’s face.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked softly, his eyes full of concern.

“I am now. Sorry about calling you but I didn’t know what else to do. The things John said really hurt and I just needed to hear your voice,” Zack mumbled.

“The fact that John yelled at you and made you feel so bad means he deserves a punch in the face. And I’m glad you called. I missed you. I thought you’d broken up with me when you sent that text,” Matt said with a small smile.

Zack offered a small smile back.

“I missed you too. I could never break up with you, Matt. I’m sorry about sending that text. I just couldn’t get the thought of you and Rian going out drinking together out of my head,” Zack apologised.

“What? Why?” Matt asked confused.

“I’m a pregnant bartender with a pathetic Media degree and he’s a successful handsome Doctor who you used to fuck – how could I not feel worthless compared to that?” Zack muttered.

“Hey, you are far from worthless, do you hear me? You are perfect to me. I don’t want anyone else and I never will,” Matt said warmly, looking Zack straight in the eyes.

Zack just bit his bottom lip and rested his head on Matt’s collarbone, smiling as Matt slid his arms around Zack’s waist. He’d missed this. He’d missed the warmth of Matt’s arms and the familiarity of his scent – musky cologne and mint and heat. Matt was so warm, he always had been.

“I’ve packed all Zack’s stuff. You’re going to be late for the doctor’s appointment if you don’t leave now,” Alex announced, walking into the kitchen.

Matt frowned, turning around.

“You’re not going with Zack?” Matt asked, confused.

“Do you want me to?” Alex mused, raising an eyebrow.

Matt couldn’t get Zack and his bags into the Jaguar quick enough. Zack was silent the entire drive to the doctors, worrying Matt a little. Had he pushed Zack too far again?

“What’s wrong, Zack? Do you not want me in the baby’s life anymore?” Matt asked sadly.

“O-Of course I do, I just…nothing. It’s nothing,” Zack muttered.

“Clearly it’s not nothing. Please talk to me before we go inside,” Matt begged.

Zack groaned, tilting his head back slightly. He hated having a talk with Matt. Matt always thought a talk would solve things. Zack wasn’t so sure this time round.

“I just don’t want us to end up fighting all over again in a week or so. I don’t want to go through this again, Matt. It hurts too much,” Zack murmured.

Matt swallowed heavily, not expecting Zack to say that.

“I don’t want to fight anymore either. I want what’s best for you and the baby, and if that means staying at Alex’s, so be it. I think it would be best for you to move back home with me, but if that’s not what you want, then I won’t argue with you about it,” Matt said softly.

Matt’s selflessness made Zack’s stomach butterfly. This was one thing about Matt that Zack loved – when everything boiled down, he always put Zack first.

“I…I want to move back home,” Zack said quietly.

Matt grinned. “Are you sure?” he asked hesitantly.

Zack leant over and pressed a gentle kiss to Matt’s lips, giving his answer. Matt moaned softly, cupping Zack’s face to make the embrace linger, before pulling back and smiling widely.

“Let’s go in, yeah?” Matt said happily.

“Yeah,” Zack nodded, smiling back.

*

4 months into the pregnancy, and Zack was starting to show. It pissed him off because there were only so many baggy t-shirts he had left that were suitable for work. Yeah, he hadn’t told his boss yet. It was just one of the many things that Zack was avoiding, along with going baby shopping and picking out names.

He was pretty sure that Matt had been secretly buying baby clothes anyway, but that was beside the point.

Zack had the day shift at work today, and was stacking glasses ready for the night shift starting in two hours at 6pm, when he heard his name called. He turned his head to the right to see his boss James standing at the side of the bar.

“Can I talk to you, Zack?” James asked.

Zack sighed but nodded, knowing he didn’t have a choice, and followed the middle-aged man out the back into his office.

“Please, sit,” James said.

Zack did so in silence.

“It’s been brought to my attention that you haven’t been quite honest with us lately,” James said seriously.

“I-I don’t know what you mean,” Zack said weakly.

“Really? Because as far as I can see, you’re steadily pregnant. Unless you’ve gained weight just on your stomach,” James replied, raising an eyebrow.

Zack groaned, his hand resting on the small bump where his abs used to be.

“Yeah, I’m pregnant. 4 months,” Zack mumbled.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Zack?” James frowned.

“Because I didn’t want to lose my job,” Zack sighed.

James frowned even more.

“We may be a bar but we’re not assholes, Zack. You haven’t been lifting anything heavy, have you?” James asked.

“Only occasionally?” Zack offered.

“From now on, you’re not doing any lifting of any kind, okay? Just the simple jobs. And only day shifts, no late nights,” James announced.

“But that’s not fair on anyone else!” Zack winced.

“It’s not fair on your baby,” James retorted.

Zack sighed, knowing he had a point.

“And when you reach 6 months, you’ll be going on paternity leave. It’ll be too dangerous in a bar environment for you after that,” James said firmly.

3 months sitting around doing nothing?! But Zack knew he had no choice. He was lucky that he wasn’t getting fired on the spot for lying.

“What are you doing after you give birth? Will you be coming back to work?” James asked.

“I-I haven’t thought about it. I don’t know what I’ll be doing,” Zack frowned.

“Well, talk with your boyfriend about it tonight and let me know as soon as possible. Also, take the rest of the day off, you look pale,” James said.

Zack groaned, making James chuckle. He didn’t want to go home! He was fine!

“I’m serious, Zack. Get some sleep. You look like you need it,” James said firmly.

Gee, thanks.

But Zack did as he was told and drove slowly back to his and Matt’s loft. More than anything he felt embarrassed. Now everyone would treat him differently, like he was some sort of fragile china doll. Embarrassed and sad. This was the last thing of his life before the baby that hadn’t changed, and now it would never be the same. Just fucking great.

Zack knew Matt would be coming home in two hours, so he didn’t bother to worry him, just texting to ask for Matt to pick up more peanut butter (smooth only, eww) and pickles on his way home.

Sure enough Matt walked through the front door with the odd cravings right on time.

“What are you doing home?” Matt frowned.

Zack was lying on the sofa in sweatpants with no shirt. It was pretty obvious he’d been there a while.

“James found out that I was pregnant and sent me home for the day,” Zack grumbled.

“Oh Zack, at least he knows now,” Matt said warmly.

“That’s not a good thing, Matt! Now I’m only allowed to work day shifts where the tips are shitty, and I’m not allowed to lift anything even though I’m one of the strongest people there, and I’m only allowed to do simple jobs. And I have to go on paternity leave when I hit 6 months. It’s so fucking embarrassing because now everyone’s going to stare at me like I’m a freak,” Zack ranted.

“You are not a freak. You are the beautiful mother of my son, and I love you,” Matt said warmly.

Zack grunted as Matt lifted his head and sat down on the sofa, but smiled as Matt put his head back down in his lap, his fingers massaging Zack’s scalp.

“You always know just what to do,” Zack moaned, his eyes closing briefly.

“I try,” Matt mused.

When Zack was a little calmer, Matt stood up, making Zack whine. What? He was comfortable.

“I’m going to make a bowl of popcorn and some hot cocoa, so why don’t you head up to our bedroom and get yourself comfortable for a movie night,” Matt suggested.

“Can you bring the peanut butter and pickles up?” Zack asked hopefully.

Matt wrinkled his nose but nodded. It wasn’t the nicest taste to find when he kissed Zack, but he knew Zack wanted them. Anything for Zack. Zack grinned when Matt agreed and headed upstairs, extremely slowly, only getting himself comfortably propped up with pillows just as Matt came in carrying a tray. Matt smiled warmly at the sight of Zack and the bump, and set the tray down on the bedside table. He popped a DVD in the player and turned the TV on, letting it load while he walked back over to his boyfriend.

“Lean forward,” Matt ordered.

Zack grunted but did so, letting Matt sit behind him, his legs either side of Zack.

“You don’t know how fucking beautiful you look,” Matt murmured, kissing the side of Zack’s neck.

Zack blushed as Matt’s arms snaked around his waist, his hands resting on the bare baby bump, sending warm tingles through Zack’s skin. Matt smiled as Zack melted into his hold, resting his head on Matt’s shoulder as the film started. Batman Returns. Another of Zack’s favourites.

Much later in the evening, after their third film, when the two of them were lying down spooning, Zack could feel the itch of irritation underneath his skin about his conversation with his boss. This would be what he’d been doing for three months. Sitting on his ass and watching movies.

Zack huffed, to which Matt frowned.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Matt asked, rubbing Zack’s hips.

Zack held back his moan.

“Everything. In two months time I’m going to be sitting on my ass all day with nothing else to do until your devil spawn pops out of me,” Zack muttered.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t call our child devil spawn,” Matt mused.

“Whatever. I’m still not happy about the fucking paternity leave,” Zack grumbled.

“What’s so wrong about paternity leave?” Matt frowned.

“Excuse me?” Zack said sharply.

“Well…if you’re on paternity leave you won’t be stressing the baby! You can relax here and just chill out for three months. I’d kill for 3 months off work,” Matt said with a smile.

But Zack just scowled, making Matt sigh.

“You want three months off work? You try not having any clothes to wear. You try feeling fat every time you try to look at your feet and realise your stomach is in the way. You try getting back and neck cramps all day. You try throwing up at least three times a day and pissing constantly. You try…”

“Okay, I get it,” Matt interrupted.

“No, you don’t! You don’t have a clue how I’m feeling because you’re not me!” Zack said angrily.

“Don’t start another fucking bitch fit, Zack,” Matt groaned.

“YOU’RE NOT THE ONE KNOCKED UP!” Zack exploded.

“No, but it’s a gift from God, you should be happy,”

“A gift from God? Are you insane? You’re the only one that wants this fucking baby, not God and not me!” Zack shrieked.

Matt’s jaw dropped slightly at Zack’s words. This fight again?

“Do you really not want this baby?” Matt said, his voice quiet, that scary calm quiet that no-one wants to hear.

Zack swallowed heavily, his anger dissolving at the tone of Matt’s voice.

“Well I was never going to get rid of it, but it’s not exactly planned is it?” Zack said awkwardly.

Matt clenched his teeth, trying to keep his temper in check. This was the last thing they needed, another fight.

“I’ll be sleeping in the guest room tonight. I think that’s best,” Matt said through gritted teeth, getting off the bed.

“Fine. Whatever,” Zack muttered, rolling over so his back was to Matt.

Matt rolled his eyes and left the room, and Zack immediately choked a sob. He didn’t mean to flip out on Matt, he really didn’t. Stupid baby and stupid baby hormones. Zack immediately felt bad and wrapped his arms around his stomach, as if to protect the baby from his bad thoughts.

“I’m sorry, baby. I know I haven’t been all that nice to you but I didn’t mean it. I’m just so confused, y’know? One minute I’m partying, smoking, and doing weed with Alex and Jack, and the next I’ve got you cooking in my belly. I promise I’m going to be a better daddy, I really do. I promise. Maybe Matt won’t get so mad at me all the time then. Matt’s your papa. He’s amazing but I make him mad all the time. You’re giving me all these crazy hormones and I know you don’t mean to, but it makes me say stupid things. Fuck, I just realised I’m talking to a bump. Fuck, maybe you are making me crazy,”

Zack laughed weakly, wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks.

“I promise I’ll learn to love you, baby. I don’t know how to yet, but I promise I will,” Zack said softly, rubbing his hand over his stomach.

Then he felt something thump against his stomach and froze. Was the baby…

He felt the same thump and yelped loudly in shock. The baby was kicking! It was finally fucking kicking! The door suddenly slammed open and Zack rolled onto his back to see Matt standing there looking panicked.

“I heard you yelp. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Matt asked worriedly.

Zack just grinned, confusing Matt.

“Come here,” Zack beckoned.

Matt frowned but crawled on the bed over to Zack. Zack stayed lying on his back so Matt lay on his side, confused when Zack picked up his hand. Then he gasped when Zack put his hand on the bump and he felt a hard kick.

“The baby’s kicking!” Matt said excitedly.

“Mm, I’m pretty sure it’s playing soccer with my bladder, but it’s kicking,” Zack nodded, giggling.

Matt made a soft noise of happiness before pressing a hard fast kiss to Zack’s lips, their previous fight forgotten. Zack felt slightly dizzy when Matt pulled away, his body tingling like it hadn’t done in a while. Matt grinned and scooted down the bed to press a gentle kiss to Zack’s bump, making the younger man blush.

“Ssh now baby, please don’t hurt your daddy, he’s still carrying you for another 5 months yet so please be good for him and stop kicking so hard,” Matt cooed, rubbing his hand over Zack’s hard skin.

Zack couldn’t help but laugh softly as the baby seemed to calm down at Matt’s voice and touch, Matt just grinning even more.

“I was talking to the baby after you walked out. I was apologising for being such a bad daddy and I think it agreed because it started kicking then,” Zack said with a soft smile.

Matt instantly moved back up the bed so his head was level with Zack’s.

“You are not a bad daddy, okay? Don’t even start to believe that,” Matt said firmly.

Zack didn’t even have a chance to protest because Matt kissed him again, equally as hard and fast. Matt smiled at Zack’s moan but broke the kiss when Zack attempted to deepen it. His eyebrows shot up in surprise when he saw the cloud of lust covering Zack’s eyes – he hadn’t been able to turn Zack on so easily since the first two years Zack was in college, when everything turned Zack on like a light switch.

“Matt, please, I want you. I need you,” Zack whined, tugging at Matt’s t-shirt.

Where did this come from? Not that Matt was complaining, but still. It wasn’t like Zack to just jump him like this.

“Are you sure?” Matt asked hesitantly.

What? He wasn’t sure if sex was a good idea when Zack was this pregnant.

Zack just cupped his hand over Matt’s crotch and squeezed gently, making the older man moan. Fuck, how long had it been since they’d had sex? Matt couldn’t even remember. Surely it couldn’t have been since before Zack found out he was pregnant? 2 and a half months ago? Zack squeezed again, making Matt moan even louder. Okay, maybe it had been that long. Fuck.

“Is it okay for the baby if we…?” Matt trailed off, biting his bottom lip.

“Yeah, I asked Rian at the end of the appointment last week and he said it would be fine for the baby. Just no kinky shit,” Zack nodded.

“He really said that?” Matt said, surprised.

“With a smirk and all. But can we not talk about Rian? I’d rather just get naked and have you balls deep inside me, taking me, using me, filling me,” Zack moaned.

Matt’s eyes widened at the brazenness of Zack’s words. Sure, Zack liked to talk dirty, but he’d have to thank the baby later for the increase in vulgarity. It was one of Matt’s weaknesses, to hear Zack murmur dirty words during sex, and although it was something that was extremely frowned upon in his profession (improper words? Gosh no), it was something he loved.

“I mean it, get naked,” Zack ordered.

Matt didn’t need to be told twice, quickly stripping out of his t-shirt, jeans and boxers, leaving himself fully bare for Zack to see. And Zack saw, his eyes running over Matt’s naked body hungrily. Matt blushed slightly but gently pulled Zack’s sweatpants off his body, raising an eyebrow when he saw Zack’s wasn’t wearing underwear. Before he could comment, Zack crooked his finger, beckoning Matt up the bed. And Matt couldn’t say no.

Zack moaned loudly as Matt straddled his waist, their long-untouched erections rubbing together wantonly, moaning even louder as Matt’s lips attached to his neck. Matt could feel his cock start to throb at how vocal Zack was being, but he wasn’t going to complain. He loved it when Zack was vocal – although he’d never been as loud as this before.

“M-More, Matt,” Zack whimpered, bucking his hips.

Matt stilled for a second as his head span, but quickly started kissing down Zack’s tattooed torso, his tongue swirling round Zack’s nipples and dragging down Zack’s happy trail, Zack’s moans only getting more and more desperate.

“Please, I-I n-need…”

Zack trailed off into a moan as Matt blew softly on the tip of his leaking dick, the older man smirking at Zack’s reaction.

“Fucking tease,” Zack grunted.

Matt kissed his tip in apology before wetting his lips and slowly taking Zack into his mouth inch by inch. Zack tried to buck his hips to get Matt to move faster, but Matt just pinned his hips down, content to slowly savour his lover’s cock. Zack could barely breathe, let alone think straight, as Matt made torturous progress on his dick, Zack feeling the pull of desire all the way down to his toes. It was almost too much.

“Matty, s-stop, t-too soon,” Zack groaned, almost incoherent.

Matt pulled off his dick with a soft pop and immediately pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom from the nearest drawer. He frowned when Zack threw the condom back in the drawer, making Zack scoff.

“I’m already pregnant,” Zack pointed out.

Well, he had a point. Matt leant back to sit on his knees, Zack spread out, panting and desperate for him. It was a beautiful sight. Without any more delay, Matt covered two fingers in lube, knowing Zack liked the burn of stretching around Matt’s dick, but it had been nearly three months since their last time so he didn’t want to hurt him. Zack moaned as Matt pushed in one finger, wriggling his hips for more. Matt just grinned at his eagerness and pumped it a few times, before pushing the second finger in, his dick throbbing again at the dirty moan that spilled from Zack’s lips.

“I’m good, I’m good,” Zack begged, arching his back slightly.

Matt inhaled sharply but nodded, covering his dick with lube before positioning himself at Zack’s entrance.

“Ready?” Matt asked.

“I’ve been ready since we started, Matthew,” Zack growled.

Matt just grinned and slowly pushed himself in, closing his eyes and basking in the delicious moans spilling from Zack’s lips. Zack would never get enough of Matt’s dick, he’d never been with anyone so thick or long. Matt’s dick was perfection, and they both knew it. Once Matt had pushed in up to his base, he stilled, waiting for Zack to adjust to the intrusion.

“Just go, Matt. And no pussy-footing. I want you hard, fast and rough,” Zack ordered, his voice dripping with lust.

Matt couldn’t deny him. No longer than an hour later they were a tangled mess of sweaty limbs, Matt thrusting wildly with Zack’s legs wrapped tightly round his waist, Zack’s back arching more and more with each hit to his prostate.

“So close,” Matt grunted.

Zack just whimpered, unable to form a response. Matt grinned at this and leant his head down, sucking harshly on the side of Zack’s neck. Normally Zack would stop him leaving a mark, but right now he didn’t care. Right now he wanted everything and anything Matt would give him. Zack cried out as Matt’s hand wrapped around his painfully hard dick, pumping roughly in time with his thrusts.

“MATT!” Zack screamed, releasing without warning.

Matt groaned loudly as Zack tightened impossibly around him, shooting his seed deep inside his lover, thrusting through their highs. Matt pulled out slowly when he was spent, making sure to collapse next to Zack instead of on top of him. He had to keep the baby in mind, after all.

“I’m so sorry,” Zack whimpered, his hands shakily grasping Matt’s forearm.

Matt immediately rolled on his side, frowning when he saw that Zack had tears in his eyes.

“Hey, what are you sorry for?” Matt said softly, cupping Zack’s face.

Zack moaned softly, leaning into his boyfriend’s touch.

“I practically jumped you and I’m still fucking horny and I still want more and I know you probably don’t and…”

Matt cut him off with a slow kiss, which Zack arched his body into.

“I will always want more of you, okay? And don’t worry about being…horny. I read in a pregnancy book that pregnancy can increase sex drive, so it’s totally normal. How can I complain about my beautiful boyfriend wanting a lot of sex with me?” Matt grinned.

Zack blushed deeply but pressed his body tightly against Matt’s, already half-hard. What? It wasn’t his fault.

“So you wouldn’t be put out by another round or more?” Zack asked hopefully.

Matt just grinned and rolled on top of Zack.

*

So it seemed like sex was the answer to all their problems. Nearly another two months passed with Zack and Matt having sex at least twice in the morning (once in bed, once in the shower) and at least four times in the evening (once when Matt gets home, once after dinner, twice in bed), and neither had ever been happier. Neither had ever had so much sex but that was beside the point. They were happy, not fighting, and that’s all they cared about.

It was under a week now until Zack’s paternity leave started, and he was feeling a little antsy about it still. He wasn’t looking forward to 3 months of nothing, especially now he was really becoming obviously pregnant, his stomach looking like a small beachball, but there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe he could enrol on that online tarot card reading course he’d always wanted to try, or maybe he could take up knitting. Maybe. Zack had to stay positive. If he wanted this to work, and for the baby to stay healthy, he had to be positive.

After a session in the shower that involved some quite creative positions, Matt and Zack stumbled back into their bedroom, panting but satisfied.

“Fuck I love shower sex,” Zack groaned, running his hand through his wet hair.

“Fuck I love you,” Matt grinned, sliding his arms around Zack’s hips.

Zack blushed and mumbled the words back, his cheeks heating up. Matt laughed and pressed their lips together in a slow kiss, breaking away as Zack tugged on Matt’s lip ring with his teeth and started to arch his back.

“As much as I would love a third round, I’ve got to get into work early, remember? We’re going for dinner over at my parents’ house tonight,” Matt reminded him.

How could Zack forget? Matt’s parents hadn’t seen the expecting couple yet because they’d been on a cruise, but they were back now and Zack was being forced into formal wear for dinner. He didn’t even know they made paternity formal wear, but Matt managed to hunt some down. Zack’s good mood deflated rapidly.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” he sighed.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine, okay? I’ll pick you up at 6 from the bar, we’ll drive back here and quickly get changed before getting to theirs for half 7,”

“What about sex?” Zack frowned.

Matt blushed at his bluntness.

“I’m sure I can fit in a blowjob for you somewhere,” Matt said sheepishly.

Zack whined in protest, making Matt laugh.

“When we get back home after dinner, we are going to have a marathon of sex where you won’t be able to walk properly for a week,” Matt promised.

Now Zack grinned, only making Matt laugh harder. Well that was easy.

Unfortunately for Zack the day passed all too quickly, and Matt picked him up at 6pm on the dot. Before they got out the car at the apartment, Matt leant over and gave Zack a blowjob, one that surprised him so much he came much sooner than he would’ve normally.

So naturally now that they’d parked outside Matt’s parents’ house mansion he felt cheated.

“You ready?” Matt smiled.

“As I’ll ever be,” Zack sighed.

Matt chuckled softly and got out the car, quickly walking round to open Zack’s door for him. Zack huffed but got out anyway. He was pregnant, not an invalid, he can open his own door thanks. They walked up to the front door in silence, hands linked, and Matt rang the doorbell before the waited. Zack squeezed his hand as the door opened, revealing Matt’s mom. Emilia Flyzik, wife of Joseph Flyzik, and all around do-gooder, charity-work goddess. Zack had always felt a little intimidated by Matt’s parents, mainly because he couldn’t even scrape how wealthy they were and because his job was so different to Matt’s, but they seemed relatively okay with him because Matt was happy.

He didn’t know what their reaction would be now that he was pregnant though.

“Joseph! They’re here!” Emilia called over her shoulder.

“Mom, you look beautiful,” Matt said warmly, kissing her cheek as he stepped into the house.

Emilia took one look at Zack and her eyes widened.

“My gosh, you are getting along nicely! It’s good to see you, Zack,” Emilia smiled.

“Likewise, Mrs Flyzik,” Zack said politely, walking past her into the house.

“Please, call me Emilia. You are the mother of my grandchild after all,” Emilia laughed.

Zack winced slightly. He knew Matt liked to call him the ‘mother’ of his child, but he was still a guy, okay?

“James Matthew Flyzik, come here and give your old man a hug,”

Zack turned his head to see Matt and his dad hugging firmly. Despite Matt’s dad’s outward stony appearance to everyone but Matt, Zack had found him to be a bit of a sweetheart. He even swore he saw a tear when they all watched The Notebook once (Matt’s choice).

“How are you, Zachary? The baby still kicking?” Joseph asked.

Zack blushed but nodded, remembering the first night the baby kicked. It seemed Matt remembered too, because he was blushing as well.

“We’re both just fine, Sir,” Zack said, trying to be well-mannered.

“So damn polite! You’ve got a good one, Matt!” Joseph laughed loudly.

Matt blushed a little deeper. If only they knew how dirty and crude Zack could really be.

“Pass Lilith your coats and come on through to the dining room! Berta’s just finishing off dinner as we speak,” Emilia announced.

If it was one thing Zack wasn’t comfortable with when he came over here, it was their maids. Zack smiled at the woman who took his coat, earning a half-smile back. He presumed she wasn’t used to guests who cared all that much. Berta was nice though. She’d been around the house since Matt was a kid, so she was the first person Matt had introduced Zack too, and Berta had immediately proclaimed that Zack needed a good feeding. He liked her.

Zack smiled as Matt pulled his chair out for him, happy that Matt sat next to him on the large table rather than going around to the opposite side. He had a feeling dinner talk was going to be all about pregnancy with a little stock market thrown in – and he definitely needed Matt by his side for that.

“So, Zack, have the two of you found out the sex of the baby yet?” Emilia asked, as a butler came in a poured their drinks (wine for the Flyziks, apple juice for Zack).

“No, we’re keeping it as a surprise, right Matt?” Zack smiled.

Matt nodded, smiling back at him.

“Well…that’s modern,” Emilia said, eyebrows raised.

“We didn’t know what we’d prefer, a girl or a boy, and if we decided on a preference and the baby ended up being the other gender we’d feel bad, so we’re keeping it a surprise for now,” Matt explained.

“That’s fair enough,” Joseph chuckled.

“What have you been craving?” Emilia asked Zack.

“Uh, peanut butter and pickles,” Zack admitted, blushing a little.

Matt wrinkled his nose, his dad mirroring the action. At least Zack knew where he got it from now.

“Savoury snacks…it must be a boy! I craved paté and saltines when I was pregnant with Matt – it’s a sure sign,” Emilia beamed.

Uh, what?

“Besides, there are rarely any girls in the Flyzik bloodline!” Matt’s dad said.

Zack fought the urge to say that there were rarely boys in the Merrick bloodline.

“Whatever the gender of our baby is, we’ll love it all the same,” Matt said simply.

Zack fell in love all over again. Three maids came in with the starter course of food before any more baby talk could start, relieving Zack a little. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

2 hours later, and Zack was still listening to baby talk. Starter, main course and dessert had all come and gone, and now they were having coffee in the lounge area (apart from Zack, who Berta had managed to find some strawberry herbal tea), Zack and Matt on one sofa and Emilia and Joseph on the other.

“Everything is by the front door for you, Mrs Flyzik,” a maid announced at the door.

Emilia clapped her hands together excitedly, confusing Zack. What was going on?

“Can I tell them, Joseph? Please?” Emilia asked.

“Of course, Pumpkin,” Joseph smiled.

Ugh. Zack hoped Matt never called him something like Pumpkin.

“Okay so, I have a little surprise for you,” Emilia announced.

Matt took Zack’s hand in his, which Zack was grateful for.

“I went on a little shopping spree, and bought you a few items of baby clothing,” she confessed.

“A few?” Matt sighed, knowing his mom.

“Okay, so I spent $1000, I was excited okay!” Emilia laughed.

$1000?! Zack had never held that much in his hands, let alone spent that much on anything, especially baby clothes.

“T-That’s so much,” Zack stuttered.

“Not for my first grandchild! You have onesies in neutral colour, as well as cute little outfits and diapers and socks, ranging from 1-4 months and 6-9 months and 9-12 months. They should be a nice start,” Emilia beamed.

Zack’s jaw dropped. Holy shit, how much did she buy?!

“That’s amazing mom, thank you so much,” Matt said warmly, giving Zack’s hand a little squeeze.

Zack squeezed back a little harder.

“Yeah, amazing. I don’t know how we’re ever going to thank you,” Zack said honestly.

“You’re giving me a grandchild, that’s thanks enough. We just can’t wait until the next one!”

The next one? Fuck, she wanted another grandchild?! Zack looked up at Matt, who just grinned down at him. Great. Matt wants another baby too.

“Oh, and I got Charles to refurbish your old crib Matt, so you’ll have something for when the baby arrives,” Emilia added.

Clothing, diapers and a crib? Jeez.

“It’s a really good crib, Zack,” Matt grinned.

Zack managed a weak smile back.

“And now time for my gift,” Joseph announced.

Zack’s face paled. Hadn’t they given enough?!

“You don’t have to, dad,” Matt reassured.

“I want to. If your mother can go a little crazy, so can I. Babies are expensive so I feel like celebrating my first grandchild,” Joseph laughed.

Zack swallowed heavily as Matt’s dad handed Matt a cheque, Matt’s eyes widening. Shit, what did it say?

$10,000. Holy shit. Zack felt a little faint.

“Lilith, can you bring Zack a glass of water, please?” Emilia called, noticing the lack of colour in Zack’s face.

Matt moved to crouch down in front of Zack, taking both hands in his own.

“Hey, look at me,” Matt soothed, “are you okay?”

Zack just made a soft noise of protest, so Matt turned to look at his parents.

“Can you give us a minute?” he asked.

They nodded and left the room.

“Okay, what’s really wrong?” Matt frowned.

“This is just all so…overwhelming!” Zack exclaimed softly.

“The dinner?” Matt asked.

“No, the gifts!” Zack whimpered.

“Don’t you like them?” Matt asked, confused.

“Of course I do, it’s just that…they’re so big! I would never have even contemplated your parents giving us so much and I’m just not…used to it,” Zack said with a weak smile.

Matt let out a soft sigh of relief, before moving to sit back next to Zack.

“My parents are showing how much they care in the only way they know how. All they know is money – they’ve never had the lifestyle you had before you met me,” Matt reassured.

Zack grimaced but nodded. A junkie mother who died when he was 12, and then being carted from relative to relative until he met Alex in high school, Alex’s parents practically letting him move in, and then meeting Matt when he was 17 in a bar that he flirted with the bouncer of to get into. A very different lifestyle indeed.

“I know, it’s just a little overwhelming, that’s all,” Zack replied quietly.

“Do you want to go home?” Matt asked.

“I don’t want to ruin your night, Matt. You barely see your parents as it is,” Zack replied, shaking his head.

“You and Bump are what’s most important to me,” Matt insisted.

Zack smiled softly at Matt’s nickname for their baby.

“I’ll just call Jack to pick me up and drive me home. He’s not busy tonight,” Zack told him.

Matt frowned. “If you’re sure,”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Stay here with your parents,” Zack nodded.

Matt sighed a little but pressed a gentle kiss to Zack’s lips. Anything for Zack. Matt went out of the room to talk to his parents while Zack called Jack, who was more than willing to drive over right away, before Zack slowly made his way over to the open door too, but paused where they couldn’t see him.

“So you’re going to make an honest man of him, right?” Joseph asked Matt.

W-What?

“Well I know I want marriage but Zack’s still young, so I don’t know what he wants,” Matt shrugged, sliding his hands in his pockets.

“Nonsense, everyone wants to be married to the person they love. Just propose and he’ll have to say yes,” Emilia scoffed.

H-How could she say that?

“Zack’s not everyone, mom,” Matt sighed.

Tears pricked at Zack’s eyes but he sniffed them away and walked out into the corridor, interrupting the conversation.

“Is Jack okay to pick you up and drive you home?” Matt asked, instantly turning to his boyfriend.

“Yeah, he’s on his way right now. Shouldn’t be long,” Zack mumbled.

“Are you okay?” Matt frowned.

“Mmhmm, just hormones,” Zack said with a weak smile.

“Alright, if you’re sure. Come on, I’ll walk you to the door. It’ll probably take us the time it takes Jack to drive here to get you down the stairs,” Matt mused.

Zack blushed and lightly punched his arm, making Matt’s parents laugh.

“It was lovely to see you, Zack. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call us,” Emilia said warmly.

Yeah, like that was going to happen.

“Of course. And thank you for the gifts. They’re wonderful,” Zack smiled.

“Not a problem. Take good care of yourself, okay?” Joseph said firmly.

Zack nodded, getting a kiss on the cheek from Emilia and a handshake from Joseph, before Matt helped him slowly down the stairs.

It didn’t take Jack all that long to arrive and when he did, Matt squeezed Zack’s waist tightly.

“Text me when you get home, yeah?” Matt murmured.

Zack nodded and kissed Matt softly, before walking over to Jack’s gas-guzzling Escalade.

“Yo home skittle,” Jack beamed.

“Hi Jack,” Zack mumbled, waving weakly to Matt as they drove away.

“Okay, something’s wrong. Did Matt’s parents feed you something bad?” Jack frowned.

“No. It’s more than that. Can we go to Alex’s?” Zack whimpered.

Jack didn’t question why, driving there quickly. Zack let Jack help him out of the car, because let’s face it he was feeling pretty pathetic right about now, and they walked up to Alex’s front door slowly. Zack pressed the doorbell five times, letting Alex know it was him, before they waited.

Alex didn’t take long to open the door. He took one look at Zack’s miserable expression and let his two friends in wordlessly, shutting the door after them.

“What did Matt’s parents do now?” Alex sighed, wrapping a blanket around Zack once they’d settled in the living room.

“What didn’t they do? First of all they insisted that the baby was going to be a boy, spouting something about bloodlines or something, then they gave us over $1000 of baby clothes, Matt’s old fancy crib and a $10,000 cheque, and then I overheard them trying to pressure Matt to marry me!” Zack rambled.

“Holy shit,” Jack gasped.

“Typical rich people,” Alex muttered.

“Hey!” Jack protested.

Alex rolled his eyes, ignoring him.

“I just feel so…pressured. Like I have to marry Matt now that I’m having his baby,” Zack said softly.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Alex said firmly.

“I know, but I still feel like I’m gonna be forced to marry Matt when I don’t know what I want. I didn’t even want this baby at first, but now marriage?!” Zack whimpered.

“Well, how can’t you want to marry Matt? Surely that’s the next step anyway? Your relationship is a serious 7 year one and you have a baby on the way,” Jack frowned.

“Babe, you wouldn’t know a serious relationship if it danced naked in front of you,” Alex snickered.

“I could see myself in a serious relationship,” Jack defended.

“Oh yeah? With who?” Alex scoffed.

“Zack’s doctor, Rian,” Jack shrugged.

Zack’s jaw dropped. What the fuck?! How could his I’ll-sleep-with-anything-with-a-dick friend want a serious relationship?

“You’ve met the guy once,” Alex said incredulously.

“Actually, after that time where I picked Zack up because Matt had to run to a meeting and I met Rian then, I’ve been…hanging around the doctors’ office a fair bit, just getting to know him,” Jack explained.

“And let me guess…he doesn’t want anything to do with you? Because you’d be bragging right now if he did,” Alex said with a smirk.

Jack blushed. “Yeah, well, I’m working on it. No-one can resist Jack Bassam Barakat forever,” Jack said adamantly.

“Well Zack, I don’t think you need to do anything you’re not ready for. Marriage is a serious commitment and it’s not to be taken lightly, just because ‘it’s the right thing to do’,” Alex said to Zack, staring him down, “I will never settle down with anyone, so you shouldn’t have to if you don’t want to either just because of a baby,”

Zack chewed his bottom lip, his arms wrapping around his bump. What the fuck was he meant to think now? Coming over to Alex’s was meant to clear his head, but now he was even more jumbled than before. Alex and Jack looked at each other, before Jack got up to choose a DVD and Alex went into the kitchen to make three hot chocolates. Zack needed a distraction and that’s what they would give.

Just as the movie was ending though, a rapid knocking was heard on the front door. Alex groaned and got up to answer it, leaving Jack and Zack alone.

“What the fuck are you doing here, O’Callaghan?” Alex sneered.

Zack’s eyes widened, as did Jack’s, and they both got up to see what was going on.

“Believe me, I take no pleasure in being in the same street as you, Gaskarth, but I’m here on Matt’s bidding, as always,” John said sharply.

John’s eyes landed on Zack, a slight glare, making Zack uncomfortable.

“Matt’s freaking out back at your apartment because you’re not there like you said you would be, and also because you didn’t text him,”

Zack’s phone is in his coat pocket, which he left in the foyer. Whoops.

“He’s worried that you had run away again because of the ‘overwhelming’ situation at his parents’ house, so he sent me out to do his dirty work. He’s still in the apartment in case you ‘decide’ to come back, but I told him you’d be here. You’re always fucking here when you can’t face your problems,” John said angrily.

“Hey, back the fuck off, O’Callaghan. You of all people should know how upright and pressuring Matt’s parents’ are, so don’t you start on Zack for wanting to come somewhere that calms him down,” Alex defended, stepping in front of Zack.

And here we go again.

“Not that it concerns you, Gaskarth, but Zack and Matt have a baby on the way – Zack can’t just go gallivanting around the city whenever he feels like it,” John sneered.

“Who are you to say what Zack can and can’t do? He’s a human being, he is free to do what he likes!” Alex exasperated.

“What kind of arty hippie bullshit is that? This is the modern day – pregnant people can’t just expect peace and love and flowers whenever they walk through the streets,” John scowled.

Zack groaned softly and motioned for Jack to grab their coats, the two of them slipping past the arguing pair without recognition.

“Can you take me back home?” Zack sighed.

He really hated that John and Alex fought so much. Jack drove him back to his and Matt’s loft quickly, helping him into the foyer of the building.

“Thanks for being my taxi tonight, Jackalope,” Zack said fondly.

“Any time. Maybe it’ll make Doctor Sexy Dawson see that I can be mature,” Jack said happily.

“I’ll put in a good word,” Zack mused.

Jack grinned and kissed Zack’s cheek goodbye, letting Zack get in the elevator that would take him up to his loft. He found Matt sitting on the sofa flipping through books when he got inside.

“Hey,” Zack said softly, hanging his coat up.

Matt immediately leapt to his feet and rushed over to his side.

“You had me so worried! Why didn’t you come back here? Why didn’t you text me? Where were you?” Matt rambled.

“Woah, slow down,” Zack groaned.

Matt sighed but led him over to the sofa, helping him sit down comfortably before sitting down next to him.

“I just needed to talk to Alex. I needed to straighten my thoughts about everything, Matt,” Zack said.

“Why do you always go running to Alex?” Matt groaned.

“Because he’s my best friend and he won’t judge me, unlike your parents!” Zack retorted.

“Hey, what have my parents got to do with this?” Matt frowned.

“I overheard them saying to you that we should get married,” Zack muttered.

Matt’s mouth formed into an ‘o’. Shit, he didn’t think they’d been that loud.

“And what did you think?” Matt asked, swallowing nervously.

“You know what my feelings are on marriage, Matt,” Zack grumbled.

“Couldn’t you at least consider it?” Matt asked hesitantly.

“No I can’t think about it! Not when it’s what everyone expects! Not while I’ve got a kid on the way! Gosh, why do you have to pressure me into everything?” Zack whined.

“I don’t mean to pressure you, Zack, I just want to make you happy! How can I do that when you run to Alex instead of talking to me?” Matt groaned.

“Matt, please don’t fight about this! I don’t want to fight,” Zack mumbled.

“I don’t want to fight either, Zack, but you had me worried when I got home and you weren’t here. You should’ve texted,” Matt insisted.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” Zack muttered, rolling his eyes.

Matt sighed but pressed a slow kiss to Zack’s lips, lingering slightly before pulling away.

“So it’s a no for the sex marathon?” Matt said wistfully.

“It’s a definite no. I’m really not in the mood after having John lecture me again,” Zack grumbled.

“Fuck sake John,” Matt groaned.

“I left him arguing with Alex again. I hate that they hate each other,” Zack said softly.

“Me too, but unless we completely change their ideals and personalities, I really don’t think it’s going to stop any time soon,” Matt mused.

Zack laughed softly, nodding his head in agreement. It seemed their best friends were doomed to loathing.

“What are you reading?” Zack asked, leaning back as he looked at Matt.

Matt blushed slightly. “I was actually looking at baby names. I know we haven’t discussed any yet, but Bump is coming in 3 months and we need to at least think of some,” Matt admitted.

Zack almost ‘awwed’. Matt’s eagerness was almost adorable.

“Well, what names did you like?” Zack asked, curious.

“For a boy I like Thomas, Oliver or Samuel,” Matt listed.

Very traditional names. Typical Matt.

“What if it’s a girl?” Zack frowned.

“I hadn’t got to those chapters yet,” Matt shrugged.

Zack thought about it in his head, before smiling.

“I like Rose,” Zack said.

“Rose Flyzik. That does sound pretty,” Matt smiled.

“Who said she’s taking your name?” Zack asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Rose Merrick sounds pretty too,” Matt chuckled, rolling his eyes.

Zack narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend before pressing a slow kiss to his lips. His hand slipped when he tried to shift his weight, and ended up directly on top of Matt’s crotch, making Matt moan wantonly. Zack’s skin tingled at the sound.

“Actually, that sex marathon is sounding pretty good right about now,” Zack murmured, running his tongue over his bottom lip.

Matt couldn’t push the books off the sofa quick enough.

4 hours later, Zack was lying on his back on the floor with cushions supporting him, sweaty, naked and exhausted, with Matt in the same condition lying next to him.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” Matt groaned, pushing his sweat-soaked fringe from his forehead.

“Beyond amazing,” Zack agreed, his voice strained from yelling and moaning.

Matt smiled and reached for their boxers, helping Zack into his before pulling on his own. Zack used the sofa as an aid to stand up, Matt frowning when he picked up the landline phone.

“Uh, who are you calling at this time of night?” Matt asked, confused.

“Alex. I feel kinda bad that I just left him to deal with John,” Zack explained.

Matt sighed but nodded, so Zack dialled the number he knew off by heart and sat down.

“Alex Gaskarth, submissive bitch,” answered a scratchy voice that definitely wasn’t Alex’s.

“Oh my gosh!” Zack gasped.

“Zack?” John yelped.

Zack heard a vague ‘give me the phone’ in the background, but he ended the call before Alex could take over. Holy shit. John and Alex…had sex?!

“What wrong?” Matt frowned.

“John and Alex had sex! John was still there and his voice was all scratchy like yours is when I ride you and you cry out repeatedly,” Zack said disbelievingly.

“Oh my God!” Matt laughed.

Zack frowned as Matt continued to laugh, clutching his stomach as he bent over double.

“What’s so funny?” Zack asked, confused.

“I-I said to John only yesterday that all that hate he had towards Alex was just pent-up sexual frustration for him,” Matt said between laughs.

This made Zack laugh too, almost as hard as Matt was.

“I hadn’t thought of it like that before,” Zack giggled.

“I’m so holding this against him,” Matt grinned, sitting down next to Zack.

Zack looked up at his boyfriend for all of three seconds before grinning back.

“Can you hold me in your arms in bed too?” Zack asked hopefully.

“Babe, you didn’t have to ask,” Matt winked.

*

8 months. 8 freaking months pregnant. Zack was so fed up of being roughly the size of a house, and bored out of his mind with having nothing to do all day, but was Matt making things any better? No. Even though Zack had been on paternity leave for 2 months now, Matt had gone back to working ridiculous hours at work, and the two of them had barely spent any time together. Their sex life had dwindled down to practically nothing, due to Matt never being home and Zack being cranky and exhausted all the time, so that stress-relief was out of the picture. And Zack had woken up once or twice when Matt had come home in the early hours of the morning smelling like a brewery, which only made Zack sadder.

Why was Matt out drinking without telling him?
Why did Matt not want to spend any time with him?
Why was Matt never home?
Was he…seeing someone else?

Zack hated these thoughts, he really did. He knew Matt was a loyal, loving boyfriend, but after two months of practically being alone in their apartment, what else could he think? Especially now he was waddling everywhere. He wouldn’t blame Matt for wanting someone who wasn’t so fat.

Today Zack was spending time at Alex’s gallery before Matt picked him up for their doctor’s appointment. The baby had been kicking the shit out of Zack lately and the whale music Alex played through the gallery really seemed to soothe it. Sure, Zack didn’t particularly like whale music, but whatever calmed the baby down was a god-send. Jack had no-one to do today either, so he was spending the day with Zack and Alex, mainly cooing over Zack’s bump.

“I’m going to be the best Uncle ever,” Jack said happily.

“Dude, we’re not related,” Zack muttered.

“Details Schmetails,” Jack scoffed, “Uncle Jack is going to spoil Baby Bump,”

“And ‘Baby Bump’ will appreciate that, I’m sure,” Zack yawned.

Zack felt a hard kick. He assumed that was the baby agreeing. Jack carried on babbling to the baby, Zack just closing his eyes. He could take a nap before he left for the doctor’s, right?

“Zack, phone for you,”

Zack opened his eyes to see one of Alex’s employees, Sisky, standing in the doorway.

“Great. Help me up,” Zack grunted.

Jack and Sisky took a hand each and hauled Zack out of his chair. Fuck, he really was fat. Zack slowly walked to the office where the phone was, lowering himself into the wheelie chair as he picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Zack asked.

“Hey baby, I thought you might be at the gallery,” Matt said softly.

“Mmhmm,” Zack murmured.

Matt knew he was picking Zack up from here – where else would he be?

“Listen, I’m really sorry but I can’t take you to the appointment,” Matt said.

“What? No! You have to! We’ve only got a month left!” Zack whined.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve got a big meeting that I can’t get out of, and it’s really important to the company,” Matt sighed.

“B-But this is our baby!” Zack whimpered.

“I said I was sorry! Can’t you understand?” Matt groaned.

“You’re choosing work over me and our baby, yeah I understand,” Zack said angrily.

And Zack slammed the phone down. Right before he burst into tears.

“Zack! What’s wrong?” Alex frowned, Jack joining him.

“M-Matt cancelled on me for the appointment! He’s choosing work instead of me and the baby! Again!” Zack wailed.

“That motherfucking dicksucking asshole!” Alex yelled.

“I hope that’s me you’re complimenting,”

Zack looked back at the doorway, his eyes widening when he saw John standing there. What the fuck? John blushed deeply when he saw Jack and Zack in the room too.

“I, uh, came by to drop your shirt off,” John said awkwardly, handing Alex a bundle.

Alex looked at his two friends, before rolling his eyes.

“Yes, we’re fucking, get over it,” Alex muttered.

John blushed deeply again. Then he realised Zack was crying, and frowned.

“What’s wrong, Zack?” John asked, walking over to Zack’s side.

“M-Matt just called to say that he can’t take me to our baby appointment because he has work to do,” Zack sniffed.

“For fuck’s sake, Matt!” John groaned.

Alex raised an eyebrow at him, to which John just scowled.

“He cancelled on going out for a drink with Rian and I the other night, but I thought it was just me. He can’t cancel on you! This is important shit!” John said angrily.

“H-He cancelled on you too? W-Who’s he been with then?” Zack asked worriedly.

John’s eyes immediately widened, and he shook his head.

“You have nothing to worry about, Zack, seriously, Matt’s not the cheating type,” John said firmly.

“Then why the fuck hasn’t he been around for two months?! Why does he come back smelling of alcohol in the early hours of the morning and leave before I wake up?! How can you tell me he’s not cheating on me? I’m a fucking walrus, how can he not be?!” Zack whimpered.

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re not a walrus, you’re beautiful,” Jack soothed.

“And Matt’s not cheating on you. As much as I don’t like the fucker, I know he’s not that type,” Alex reassured.

Zack just shook his head miserably. This was proof, wasn’t it? Matt wasn’t even spending time with his friends.

“Look, why don’t I take you to the baby appointment?” John sighed.

“Y-You would?” Zack sniffed.

“Yeah, I have no clients this afternoon, I’m totally free. Besides, I’m the best godfather, it’s about time I saw the ultrasound in person,” John smiled.

“I’m the best godfather,” Alex snapped, narrowing his eyes at John.

“No, I am,” Jack said firmly.

“You’re all going to be amazing godfathers, but can we just go? It’ll take me fucking ages to get to the car,” Zack said.

“I wanna go too! I haven’t seen Dr Sexy in a few days,” Jack grinned.

“Jack, keep calling Rian that and he’ll never be interested,” John snickered, looping his arm around Zack’s waist and helping him to his feet.

“So there’s a possibility? Did he tell you that?” Jack asked excitedly.

“No, he said you’re the most irritating person he’s ever met,” John retorted, rolling his eyes.

“That means he remembers me and that I’m having an effect on him! Next step, dinner date and wild sex,” Jack said triumphantly.

Alex just snickered and kissed Zack’s cheek goodbye, picking up Zack’s bag for him. John helped Zack into his Audi, not saying a word to Alex as Alex gave Zack his belongings. Huh. Zack could cut their sexual tension with a knife. Jack got into the backseat as John got into the driver’s seat, Alex waving to them as they drove down the road.

Soon enough they were in the doctor’s office, waiting for Rian.

“Zack Merrick,”

John helped Zack stand up and walked him into the sonogram room, Jack close behind.

“Is Matt not here today then?” Rian asked cheerfully.

“Cancelled on me because he has work to do,” Zack muttered.

Rian frowned and glanced at John, who only nodded.

“We came instead because we’re mature and serious about helping Zack,” Jack piped in.

Rian rolled his eyes at Jack’s attempt, making Zack giggle softly. Zack pulled up his hoodie as Rian set everything up, barely flinching when Rian spread the cold goo on his bump.

“Alright, there’s the little one. That’s the baby’s head and torso, in case you’re wondering,” Rian smiled.

John beamed and Jack gasped; neither had seen the live sonogram before, only the pictures. Tears just pricked at Zack’s eyes. Matt should be here with him, not at work. Matt should be seeing this. Rian showed a few more angles of the baby, before wiping the goo off Zack’s stomach.

“It looks like everything is perfectly cooking in there. I’ll print off some pictures for you,” Rian smiled.

He clicked a few buttons while Zack pulled his hoodie back down.

“You won’t need another scan now before the baby is born, so here’s my card with my cell phone number and pager number on it. Call me as soon as you start getting contractions, okay? I’ll be there at the birth with you,” Rian said.

“Thank you,” Zack sniffed.

At least he could count on one person being there that should be.

“Can you guys give us a minute?” Rian asked Jack and John.

“Yeah, sure,” John nodded, standing up.

“Does Zack need anything?” Jack frowned.

“Uh, I think a bottle of water would be good. There’s a vending machine down the hall,” Rian nodded.

“I’m on it,” Jack beamed.

Rian forced a smile back, waiting until John and Jack were out the room to turn back to Zack.

“What wrong, Zack? Is everything okay with you and Matt?” Rian asked worriedly.

“I’m pretty sure he’s cheating on me,” Zack whimpered.

“No, he wouldn’t. I’ve never seen anyone look at their partner with as much love as Matt looks at you,” Rian said firmly.

“Then why isn’t he here? Why hasn’t he been here for so long?” Zack whined.

“I…I don’t know,” Rian said, defeated.

Zack started crying all over again. He told Rian about how he had barely seen Matt for the past two months, how Matt comes into their bedroom at strange hours of the night, how he thinks Matt doesn’t want him or the baby anymore, how he thinks Matt has found someone else who isn’t so disgusting and pregnant, and how he’s scared that he’s losing Matt.

“I just don’t know what to do. The baby’s nearly here and I don’t know what I’ll do without him,” Zack whispered.

“I promise you now that Matt will be there for you. I promise you,” Rian soothed.

Zack choked a sob as Rian pulled him into a hug, burying his face into the older man’s shirt.

“How can you promise that?” Zack whimpered.

“I just can,” Rian said softly.

Zack nodded, Rian squeezing his arms a little before he let go.

“Thank you. I needed that,” Zack laughed weakly, wiping his cheeks dry.

“It’s not a problem, Zack. I know I’m your doctor, but I’m Matt’s friend too. Everything will be okay,” Rian said warmly.

Zack just nodded, a knock sounding at the door, before Jack and John poked their heads in.

“Is everything okay?” John asked.

“It will be,” Rian nodded.

John looked at Zack, as if to ask ‘are you really okay?’ and Zack just smiled a little. If he couldn’t have Matt, at least he’d have some sort of a support group around him. When the pictures were ready, John helped Zack out of the room and down the stairs, Jack joining them just as Zack was buckled in the car.

“Where were you?” Zack frowned.

“I gave Dr Sexy, uh, Rian my number,” Jack grinned.

“And did he actually take it?” John scoffed.

“I said I would post-it note his entire office with my number if he didn’t,” Jack smirked, getting in the back seat.

“I can imagine you doing that,” Zack giggled.

John and Jack shared a smile at Zack’s elated attitude, before John drove them back into the city.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright on your own?” John frowned, helping Zack into the loft apartment.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m just going to have a marathon of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and gorge myself on cookie dough ice-cream and ketchup,” Zack beamed.

“Eww, not a nice combination,” John grimaced.

“Bump likes it,” Zack shrugged.

Then he inhaled sharply, realising that he’d used Matt’s nickname for the baby. Fucking Matt.

“Okay, well call me if you need anything. Hopefully Matt will come to his senses,” John smiled.

“Mm, hopefully,” Zack sighed.

John gave the baby bump a soft rub before leaving Zack to himself. Grabbing his snacks and the DVD boxset, Zack dragged himself upstairs to his and Matt’s bedroom. It was getting less and less comfortable to sit upright, but there wasn’t much else Zack could do right now. He wasn’t exactly tired enough to sleep yet. He clicked play to The Black Pearl and propped himself up with pillows, grabbing the ice-cream and the ketchup. Fuck Matt for ruining his day.

Half way through On Stranger Tides, the bedroom door slammed open, making Zack flinch in surprise. Matt. What was he doing home? And what was he doing with flowers?

“How could you think I’m cheating on you?” Matt demanded.

“W-What?” Zack said, surprised.

“Rian called me and yelled at me. He told me everything you told him,” Matt explained, his eyes shining.

Zack felt the colour drain from his face. Shit. That was what Rian meant when he promised Matt would be there. Shit.

“I-I just…how can you not see what I see, Matt? You’re never home, always making excuses not to be places, come to bed smelling of alcohol at, like, 3am, out of bed before I wake up – how can you not see me jumping to conclusions? I’m just your fat impregnated boyfriend, you could be doing anyone else,” Zack said miserably.

Matt slammed the flowers on the dresser, stormed round to Zack’s side of the bed and pressed his lips to the younger man’s so firmly that Zack almost forgot how to breathe. Then Matt broke away harshly, tears and fire in his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?” Matt rasped.

“Because we barely see each other and I didn’t want to be a burden,” Zack mumbled.

“You could never be a burden to me. Never. You are my beautiful, amazing boyfriend and I love you, no-one else,” Matt insisted.

“Then when the fuck have you been?” Zack demanded.

“I’ve been working on something. Do you want to see it?” Matt asked, biting his bottom lip.

Zack just nodded, letting Matt help him off the bed. He honestly had no idea what Matt was going to show him. Probably a new feng sui arrangement of the living area. But when Matt led him to the nearest guest room, Zack was even more confused. What was going on?

“Go in,” Matt encouraged, smiling shyly.

Zack frowned but did so. But what he saw was the last thing he was expecting. Pale yellow walls, a mural of cartoon lambs, shiny white furniture including a changing table and Matt’s old crib, and all sorts of lacy white decoration.

“You did a nursery?” Zack gasped.

Matt grinned and nodded, wrapping his arms around Zack’s waist from behind, his arms just under the bump.

“This is where I’ve been for the past two months. I’ve been going into work super early so I can leave early and come up here to work on this. It took me a week to move stuff out without you hearing. It took me so fucking long to do a decent amount of coats of paint on the walls as well as paint the mural. And then I’ve spent the last week putting up the curtains and building the new furniture from flat-pack. I never meant to make you think badly of me, Zack. I was trying to surprise you,” Matt said softly.

“This is the last thing I thought you would be doing!” Zack admitted sheepishly.

“Do you like it?” Matt asked.

“I love it. It’s perfect, Matt. You’re perfect,” Zack gushed, his hands resting on top of his bump.

Matt grinned and pressed a series of soft kisses into Zack’s neck, making him squeal and Matt laugh.

“Can I just ask one thing though, Matt?” Zack said suddenly.

“Yeah, okay?” Matt replied.

“Why did you always smell of alcohol when you came to bed?” Zack asked, turning around in Matt’s arms.

Matt blushed a little.

“I, uh, might’ve had a case beers while I was painting and building?” Matt offered.

“Every night?” Zack asked incredulously.

Matt just shrugged, offering Zack a small smile.

“You’re just lucky I love you. No-one else would put up with their boyfriend ignoring them for so long,” Zack sighed happily.

Matt grinned and pressed a chaste kiss to Zack’s lips, before stepping out of his arms. Zack pouted.

“I have one thing more that I was working on,” Matt announced.

Zack just nodded, not moving while Matt reached into a drawer on the cabinet.

“I know you don’t know where you see yourself in the future. I know you’re still young and have the world at your feet, but you’re my world, Zack, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re giving me the best thing anyone ever could – you’re giving me a child. A child that’s half me and half you. We’re always going to be bonded over our baby and I want to share that bond even further,”

Zack throat dried up. Was Matt really…

“I want to wake up every morning knowing that you’re the first thing I see, and I want to go to bed with you always in my arms. I know we have our issues and I know we have to work a few things out, but I love you. I love you so much that sometimes I think I’m going crazy. I’d do anything for you, Zack. I’d fly to the fucking moon and back if you asked me to. All I want is for you to be happy and I like to think that I make you happy. Do I make you happy?”

All Zack could do was nod, a small smile on his face. Matt smiled nervously back before continuing.

“I want to be able to walk into my office and hear ‘your husband is on line 3, Mr Flyzik’ or to by those sappy Valentines Day cards starting ‘to my dearest most wonderful loving husband’. I want everything with you because there’s no-one else in the world that’s more perfect for me. I want you. Forever,”

Zack felt tears prick at his eyes as Matt got down on one knee, holding a black box in his hand. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening!

“Zachary Steven Merrick, will you do me the honour of being my husband?” Matt asked softly, opening the box.

Zack’s eyes widened when Matt revealed a beautiful thick platinum ring with a tiny diamond embedded in the top. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, truly. The love in Matt’s eyes and his words swimming in Zack’s head overruled everything he thought he had set in stone. Zack knew what his answer was.

“I don’t know if it’s Bump’s hormones telling me too or the fact that I’ve never heard you say such beautiful words, but fuck yes!” Zack choked, a few tears trickling down his cheeks.

“You mean it? You’ll marry me?” Matt asked happily.

“Put that ring on my finger before I change my mind!” Zack said, laughing through his tears.

Matt started crying too as he slid the ring onto the fourth finger of Zack’s left hand. A perfect fit. He stood up and immediately pressed his lips to Zack’s, the younger man moaning softly but reaching to thread his fingers through Matt’s hair. Their kiss quickly escalated to one filled with passion and desperation, Zack’s teeth tugging at Matt’s lip ring, tongues tangling and lips bruising, until Zack broke away panting.

“Matty, we gotta…not here…room of innocence…fuck, help me waddle back to our bedroom,” Zack moaned.

“Ugh, you’re so sexy,” Matt teased.

Zack growled softly only making Matt laugh a little harder.

“Even when you waddle, you’re still the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” Matt smiled.

“Matt, that’s sweet and all, but I really wanna fuck,” Zack whined.

“Say no more,” Matt grinned.

*

Zack couldn’t believe how fast time had flown by. He was due any day now. Literally any day. If it was even possible, his bump had grown bigger, making him even crankier, especially with his slightly swollen ankles. But he couldn’t complain about one thing – now Matt had finished the nursery and proposed, he spent all the time that he wasn’t working with Zack, giving him back rubs and foot rubs and making sure he was as comfortable as possible. He was treating Zack like royalty and Zack couldn’t have been more grateful.

Matt wasn’t home today though, and that was because it was his last day at work. Matt had decided to book 6 weeks off in total, so he could be there for Zack and the baby at the crucial beginning stages until they knew what they were doing, and even after that he’d only be working strict hours of 9-5 for 6 months. Obviously he had to go back to working long hours at some point, but for now Zack and their baby was his main priority.

Jack was keeping Zack company today, chattering away to the bump to soothe it (finally, someone who actually liked the sound of Jack’s voice 24/7) and doing anything and everything Zack asked. Like now, for instance. Zack wanted to be pampered so Jack had bought a shitload of products, and was in the process of a manicure and pedicure for Zack while waiting on a face pack to dry out his pores. No nail polish on his nails, obviously, but still. It was nice to be a little relaxed, despite how bad Zack’s back pains were today. Bump apparently wasn’t giving him any rest at all.

Zack groaned as the doorbell rang, making Jack laugh.

“I’ll get it. Hopefully it’s our pizza,” Jack grinned.

“They better have put chocolate sauce on my half,” Zack grumbled, shifting his weight in an attempt to get more comfortable.

Zack kept his eyes closed as Jack left the room, not moving when he heard Jack talking to someone. The pizza boy was probably cute. Of course Jack would start a conversation.

“Nice face pack,”

Okay, not a pizza boy. What was Alex doing here?

“It’s teatree and it’s good for him,” Jack defended, walking in the room behind their friend.

“I didn’t know you were coming over. I thought you were sleeping all day because you’d closed the gallery for a day off,” Zack frowned.

“I was going to sleep. Someone else had other plans,” Alex shrugged.

Zack frowned a little more, until John walked in. Uh, what?

“Jeez guys, yes we’re still sleeping together. I like his dick, nothing else about him,” Alex exasperated.

“And there I was thinking you liked my tongue, mouth and hands too! You were begging for them enough last night,” John retorted, smirking.

Alex blushed lightly as Zack and Jack grimaced, rolling his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up, O’Callaghan,” Alex muttered, sitting down next to Zack.

Jack snickered, picking up the warm wash-cloth from the bowl on the floor and wiping the face mask off of Zack so he could see properly.

“How are you today? It’s Matt’s last day at work, right?” John said warmly, sitting down in the armchair across from Zack.

Zack didn’t know when John’s attitude had changed towards him, but he was grateful for it. Really fucking grateful.

“I can’t wait for him to be at home for 6 weeks – my back is killing me and he gives an awesome back rub,” Zack grumbled.

“Your back hurts?” Alex frowned.

“Mmhmm, it’s worse this afternoon than ever. And I’ve got cramps. I think Bump is in a bad mood today,” Zack nodded, sighing.

Alex, Jack and John all stared at each other, eyes wide, before looking back at Zack.

“How long have you had these cramps for?” Jack asked worriedly.

“Uh, since an hour ago, maybe? They weren’t so bad at first, like there would be a gap between each cramp, but now they’re really painful, and getting more constant. Why?” Zack asked, confused.

“Honey, those aren’t cramps. They’re contractions,” Alex gasped.

Zack paled. W-What? Bump was coming now?!

“Oh my God,” Zack whimpered.

Alex, Jack and John immediately sprung into action.

“Okay, I’ll help Zack down to my car and start the engine,” John said, grabbing his coat and keys.

“I’ll grab Zack’s bags and call Matt to meet us there,” Alex said.

“I’ll make sure everything’s locked up and call Rian to meet us there,” Jack said.

“Guys!” Zack whined.

They froze and looked at him.

“What’s wrong, Zack?” Alex asked worriedly.

“It hurts!” Zack whimpered.

“Shit, hold my hand,” John panicked.

Zack squeezed John’s hand as the cramp…contraction sent pain through his stomach, John crying out in pain as well.

“Holy shit, Zack,” John gasped, ripping his hand out of Zack’s and clutching it to his chest.

Zack just whimpered again, starting to panic. What if they didn’t get to the hospital in time? How could he have been so stupid not to realise?!

“Everything’s going to be okay, but you have to stay calm. John, take him, now,” Alex ordered.

It felt like it took hours to get down to the car, but as soon as Zack was buckled into the front passenger seat and John was sitting next to him, Alex and Jack got into the car.

“Rian’s on his way to the hospital now. He lives closer so he’ll get there first. He said he’ll have a wheelchair waiting for you when we get there, and Matt gave him your insurance details last week so he’ll get those forms filled in while he waits,” Jack explained.

“Thank fuck for Rian,” John grinned, pulling out the parking space.

Alex cursed under his breath, making Zack look at him in panic.

“Y-You can’t get hold of Matt?” Zack whimpered, tears pricking at his eyes.

“Well…no. But I’m going to keep trying,” Alex said firmly.

John glared at Alex quickly over his shoulder before pulling out onto the main road as Zack started to cry.

“He will be there Zack. Matt wouldn’t miss this for the world,” John said firmly.

Zack just nodded miserably, gritting his teeth as another contraction washed through him.

“John?” Zack said.

“Yeah?” John asked.

“Drive faster!” Zack begged.

John did so, getting to the hospital emergency entrance in no time at all. Sure, he drove through a few red lights, but Zack’s cries of pain and constant tears gave him no other choice. Rian spotted them straight away and ran a wheelchair over to the car door, helping Zack out with John’s help.

“I’ll park your car, go in with him,” Alex told John.

“You think I’m trusting you with my Audi?” John scowled.

“Not now guys!” Jack said desperately, grabbing Zack’s bag out the trunk.

“Fine. But if you scratch it…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll keep calling Matt too. Just keep Zack calm!” Alex interrupted, giving John a small shove.

John scowled a little more but gave Alex his car keys, running into the hospital behind Jack, Rian and Zack, Rian pushing the wheelchair.

“I’m taking you straight into the birthing room, okay? By the sounds of it your contractions are close enough for you to go straight in,” Rian told Zack.

“No! I can’t have the baby without Matt!” Zack whimpered.

Rian looked at John, but John just shrugged helplessly.

“If the baby needs to come out, we’ll have no choice,” Rian sighed.

“I can’t do this without him. He promised!” Zack whined.

“He’ll be here. Alex will make sure,” Jack insisted, lifting Zack’s hand and pressing a kiss to it.

*

“Is there anything else anyone wishes to talk over?” Matt asked the boardroom.

No-one replied. Matt sighed softly in relief, and smiled at the senior advisers of his company.

“The meeting is adjourned then,” Matt announced.

Chairs scraped, people shook his hand, and they left. Matt yawned and pulled his phone out of his pocket, turning it on. He never had it on for board meetings like this. But as his phone flooded with text messages and missed calls and voicemails, Matt’s face paled. What the fuck was going on?!

Matt started to dial the number to listen to his voicemails, when his phone started ringing. Alex. Shit.

“Hello?” Matt answered hesitantly.

“Fucking finally, Flyzik,” Alex growled.

“I’m sorry, I was in a board meeting, it was impor…”

“Save the shit. Zack’s in labour,” Alex interrupted.

Matt felt everything freeze, the colour draining from his face.

“W-What?” Matt whimpered.

“He started having contractions an hour ago and just thought they were cramps. We’re at the hospital – get your ass here or you’ll miss your child being born, jerk-off,” Alex said angrily.

And with that, Alex cut off. Matt stood still for a few seconds, processing what Alex said, before panicking. Zack was at the hospital! Shit! Matt ran out the board room, almost crashing into his secretary Janie.

“Mr Flyzik, I was just coming to see where you were,” Janie said warmly.

“I’ve got to go. Now. Zack’s at the hospital,” Matt said quickly.

“Oh my gosh!” Janie gasped.

Matt just grinned.

“Send my bag and coat to my apartment, yeah?” Matt told her.

“Of course. Good luck!” Janie said happily.

Matt just grinned even harder and ran towards the elevators.

*

“Zack, we can’t wait much longer! Your contractions are so close together!” Rian said desperately.

“Not until Matt’s here,” Zack insisted.

Rian groaned but nodded. The morphine drips were ready by the side of the birthing chair, ready to be hooked into Zack so they could start the caesarean procedure, but Zack refused to start until Matt was there. Matt had to be there.

“Zack, come on, don’t strain the baby,” John urged.

“Not until…”

The door slammed open, making everyone jump.

“MATT!” Zack shrieked.

Matt hurried to Zack’s side, pressing their lips together chastely.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Matt apologised.

“I thought you weren’t going to come,” Zack whimpered.

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world,” Matt smiled.

Zack smiled back, kissing Matt again.

“Okay, as touching as this is, we need to get this baby out,” Rian announced.

Matt nodded and stepped back in line with John, Jack and Alex, watching Rian hook the morphine up to Zack. Soon enough, the drug was in his system, numbing Zack from pain.

“Are you ready?” Rian asked Zack.

Zack looked at Matt, who just nodded and smiled, now holding his hand.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Zack said firmly.

*

Matt stared wide-eyed as the blood pouring out of Zack didn’t stop, Zack whimpering too. The cries of the newborn baby filled the room, the nurses cutting the umbilical cord in the corner, but Matt couldn’t focus on that now. Why was Zack bleeding so much?!

“Matt, Jack, John, Alex, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” Rian said firmly.

“W-What? Why?!” Matt demanded.

“We need to operate on Zack. You can’t be here for that,” Rian replied, motioning for the nurses to take the baby out the room too.

Matt’s head swam with desperation, his head turning between Zack and their baby.

“M-Matt!” Zack said feebly.

“Please Rian, please,” Matt begged.

“I’m sorry, I can’t, Matt. If we don’t operate now, he might…”

“No, don’t say that,” Matt growled, interrupting.

“Matt, come on man, give them some room,” John said firmly.

Matt swallowed heavily, his eyes lingering on Zack’s pale body, not looking away as John and Alex practically dragged him from the room.

“There’s a waiting area just around the corner,” Jack said softly.

Matt just whimpered, his eyes pricking with tears as more nurses and a guy in a set of scrubs ran into the room. Zack!

*

An hour later, and they were still waiting. They hadn’t heard anything. No-one had been to see them. Matt was a fucking wreck, Alex was shaking, Jack was freaking out and John was trying to keep them all calm. It wasn’t working.

“Surely they’ve got to have finished operating on Zack by now?!” Alex said desperately.

“There was so much blood,” Jack whimpered.

“I’m never watching a birth again,” John grimaced.

“I wish they’d let us know what was going on,” Matt groaned.

They fell silent, no-one knowing what to say.

“I didn’t even get a chance to hold my baby,” Matt whimpered.

“Matt, relax, they just took the baby to be cleaned up,” John reassured.

“I don’t even know if my child is a girl or a boy!” Matt whimpered again, ignoring his friend.

“And we will find out! Just calm down,” John reassured again.

“Rian's in with Zack, at least we’ve got that for comfort,” Jack said warmly.

“But what if Zack…what if…”

“No, don’t think like that. Zack won’t leave you, not like this,” Alex said firmly, interrupting Matt’s dark thoughts.

Matt just shook his head, tears pricking at his eyes. He was scared. He was so fucking scared.

“Fiancé and friends of Zack Merrick?”

They lifted their heads to see a nurse standing next to the waiting area.

“Yeah? Is he okay? Is my baby okay?” Matt asked worriedly.

The nurse smiled. “Follow me,”

She smiled. That was a good thing right? The nurse led them to a private room, Matt the first one in. He choked a sob when he saw Zack lying unconscious on the bed – but Zack was breathing, so that means he okay, right? Right?

“Do you want to say hello to your daughter?”

Matt choked a sob when he saw Rian holding a small pink bundle, and nodded, tears already pricking his eyes. Matt carefully took the baby…his baby from Rian, making sure she was supported properly before softly brushing the blanket from her face. His breath caught in his throat. She was beautiful. He could already tell she had Zack’s nose, along with a tuft of jet black hair. So much for there not being many females in the Flyzik bloodline.

“She’s okay, yeah?” Matt asked softly, looking nervously at Rian.

“Yeah, she’s perfectly healthy. A little small perhaps, but that could just be genetics. She’s perfectly okay,” Rian nodded, smiling.

“And Zack?” Matt asked, his voice cracking slightly.

“He’s fine. Absolutely fine. We got the bleeding under control straight away, and his stitches will heal quickly if he doesn’t do too much stretching or any strenuous movement for at least 4 weeks. And Zack should wake up any time now,” Rian nodded again.

“Oh thank fuck,” Matt groaned, a huge wave of relief washing over him.

“Language,” John scolded, making Rian, Jack and Alex laugh.

“Fuck off,” Matt retorted, although he was smiling.

Everyone just laughed harder.

“Have you thought of any names for her?” Rian asked.

Matt nodded straight away. He knew what names Zack wanted to call the baby if it was a girl, and there was no way Matt was taking that away from him.

“Rose. Rose Maria Flyzik,” Matt replied, smiling at he spoke.

It sounded so perfect rolling off his tongue.

“Beautiful name. They’ll have to stay here for a few more days just for observation, but after that they’re both free to go home. I’ll go and fill in the forms and her birth certificate,” Rian announced.

“Can I come?” Jack asked hopefully.

Matt rolled his eyes. After all the drama today, Jack still wasn’t giving up.

“Okay?” Rian frowned.

Jack just beamed and followed Rian out the room.

“We’ll go and get food and coffee from around the corner. Fuck knows that hospital food is shitty and Zack will want something better,” Alex told Matt.

“Language! Am I the only one thinking of what Rose can hear?!” John exasperated.

“Shut the fuck up, O’Callaghan,” Alex retorted, snickering.

“Make me, Gaskarth,” John growled.

“Do you mind taking the sexual frustration away from my innocent daughter?” Matt asked innocently.

Alex and John blushed, before leaving the room, making Matt laugh. He looked back down at his daughter, smiling as she shifted in his sleep, smiling even wider as her hand clutched at his little finger, barely fitting around it. Matt saw a chair next to Zack’s bed and sat down in it, making sure Rose was comfortably before relaxing back.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured to his daughter, meaning every word.

“How can I be beautiful after being cut open?”

Matt’s head shot up at the slurred voice, a wide grin spreading over his lips.

“Zack! You’re awake!” Matt said happily, standing up.

“It would seem so,” Zack grumbled, gingerly rubbing his eyes.

Then Zack noticed the pink blanket bundle in Matt’s arms and gasped.

“It that our baby?” Zack asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, our daughter. Rose Maria Flyzik,” Matt nodded, still grinning.

“Can I hold her?” Zack asked hopefully.

“Of course, darling,” Matt chuckled.

He carefully handed their daughter over to Zack, waiting until Zack was situated to crawl into the hospital bed so he was lying next to him. Zack smiled with watery eyes as Matt put his arm round his shoulders, and leant into Matt’s warm body, his finger gently stroking down Rose’s cheek.

“I can’t believe I ever thought I didn’t want her. She’s so beautiful,” Zack whispered.

“I know she is. She’s got your nose,” Matt smiled.

“She’s got your lips though,” Zack smiled, looking up at Matt.

Rose made a soft noise, shifting a little in Zack’s arm, dragging his attention back to her.

“Remember when you said you wanted a future with me in a family of your own?” Zack said suddenly.

“Yeah?” Matt mused.

“Well, you’ve got it. You’ve got your own family. You, me and Rose,” Zack smiled.

Matt couldn’t stop the wide grin that spread over his lips.

“And our future children, obviously,” Matt nodded.

“Children? Plural?” Zack choked.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Matt laughed, “Rose is what we’re focussing on right now. And our wedding,”

Zack blushed and nodded, smiling.

“I can’t believe we’re getting married,” Zack said softly.

“I can. And I can’t wait. I’ve seen this day coming for ages, us happily married with our children running around us. Everything’s going to be amazing from here on, Zack, you wait and see,” Matt sighed happily.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Zack grinned.

Matt chuckled and pressed a slow kiss to Zack’s lips, tender, sweet and slow. Right then Zack knew that Matt was right. Everything was going to be amazing. How could it not?