Long Way

It’s been six months since I found out that I was pregnant. I’m seven months along now, and beyond ready to get this thing out of me. Declan has stayed with me through everything, and he’s gone with me to all of my doctor’s appointments, and birthing classes. He’s been very dedicated. He comes home from work early every day to check on me, and has brought me anything that I’ve ever wanted or needed. And I am sure now that he is going to be a great dad when this baby comes.

I walked in the door from my yoga class that I had started taking with Sharon a few months ago, and immediately went in and laid on my bed. Willa came in and saw what I was doing, then went back out to the living room to watch for intruders; or more than likely, to lay in her preferred spot in the chaise. She was used to me napping a lot.

I took off the tank top that I had been wearing, leaving me only in a sports bra and my yoga shorts, and tossed it across the bedroom. There was a book of baby names and a notepad sitting on my night stand, so I picked it up and started to go through it.

A few months ago, Declan and I decided to learn the gender of our baby, and we found out that we were having a boy.

I flipped through the book and started writing down a few names that I enjoyed when I heard Willa start barking. The front door opened and she took off for it. I was quiet until I heard Declan’s voice telling her to calm down or she’ll wake the baby. I smiled to myself and started writing some middle name options down in the notepad.

Declan walked in the room a minute later looking for me.

“Hey, D,” I said to him.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. I just got back from yoga.”

“How was that?”

“Fine. How was work?” He shrugged and sat down on the edge of the bed and started taking his boots off. When he was done, he climbed into bed with me barefooted.

“What are you working on?” he asked, rubbing his hand over my bare belly. At seven months, I was about as big as I was going to get, which wasn’t very big. My entire weight gain was thirty pounds, and my doctor told me that a woman of my size with my eating habits wasn’t likely to gain much more. 130 pounds was still more than I had weighed since I was in high school though, and I wasn’t really enjoying it.

“Some baby names,” I answered him. He passed his hand over my whole stomach, and leaned up to kiss me.

“What do you have down?” I glanced through my notepad.

“I like Knox.” He looked like he was thinking about that.

“Knox DeSoto,” he grinned. “That’s gonna be one badass kid.” I laughed.

“I have more, don’t you want to hear those?”

“Yeah, what are they?”

“Holden, Knox, Draven, Jason, West, and Easton.” He again looked like he was pondering the names that I had just told him.

“What do you think?” I asked. He kissed my arm.

“Draven DeSoto. That has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

“I like it.”

“I like some of the other names too.”

“I kind of really like Draven.”

“Me too.”

“We would all be d names.”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling.

“What about a middle name?”

“How about that one that you said, West?”

“Draven West.”

“That goes, doesn’t it?”

“It does. Draven West DeSoto. It’s perfect.”

“Now we can’t tell anybody the name until he’s born, got it?”

“Got it.”

“I hate that, when you tell everyone what you’re gonna name your kid and if they don’t like it they try to change your mind.”

“How could someone not like this name?”

“It’s pretty damn perfect, isn’t it?” I smiled.

“Like you,” he said.

“Yeah right.”

“You hungry?”

“Starving!”

“What do you want?” I thought to myself for a minute. Declan rubbed my stomach and whispered to the baby.

“What do you think of your new name, boss?” he asked my stomach. I felt the baby kick hard, and Declan looked up at me.

“Did you feel that?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said with a big smile on his face.

“I think he likes it.”

“What do you want for dinner, baby?” he asked my stomach. No more kicks.

“I think he said that he wants Chinese,” I said.

“Yeah? What kind of Chinese?”

“Orange Chicken, fried rice, and lots of crab ragoons.”

“Okay. I’ll order it.”

“Emphasis on lots of crab ragoons!” I shouted as he left the room.

When I heard him hang up the phone with the Chinese restaurant, I got up and walked out to the living room, and sat on the couch. He came over and moved me so that we were sitting together, me between his legs, and his hands on my stomach.

“You know, if you keep paying this kind of attention to my stomach, other parts of me are gonna get jealous.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“I don’t know.”

“Like these?” he said, grabbing both of my breasts and squeezing them. My normally C cup breasts had swelled to a DD with pregnancy, and Declan was enjoying them. I didn’t mind them. It was nice to look down in the shower and see something other than your stomach.

“Yeah, those don’t mind a little attention every now and then.”

“I’ll try to give them the attention they deserve from now on.”

“Because you never know. When Draven comes out, they might just decide to shrivel up and die, never to be seen again.”

“Don’t talk about nightmarish things like that.” I laughed and he moved his hands up to my shoulders to massage them.

I sighed.

“We have to have a talk,” I said to him.

“About what?”

“Something that we should have talked about when I first got pregnant.” I could feel his hands tightening on my shoulders, but neither of us said anything about it.

“What’s that?” he asked. His good mood was now gone from his voice. I sighed again.

“I’ve never given you an ultimatum before, D. I don’t like them, and I would never say this if it wasn’t something I felt so strongly about.” He stayed quiet.

“I won’t let this child go through everything that I’ve been through with you. I don’t want him to ever feel unwanted, or abandoned; questioning his parents. If you’re going to be here with us, you’re going to be here all of the time. No more of this leaving. I won’t let you walk in and out of our child’s life like he doesn’t mean anything. If you’re going to leave, just do it and be gone, and do it now.”

“Be a part of my child’s life, or have nothing to do with him.” A statement, not a question.

“Yes.” I could feel him nodding, and I was suddenly very nervous.

“I’m not leaving, Diana. I don’t know what I have to do to prove that to you. I’ve done everything I told you I was gonna do.”

“I know you have. I’m just telling you how I feel about it.”

“I know that I hurt you, a lot. You have every right to feel that way.”

“I just don’t want our child to feel that way about you. I don’t want the bad blood that you and your dad have.”

“That’s completely different. I wish my dad hadn’t been there when I was a kid. The bad blood comes from him being there. But I understand what you’re saying.”

“I hope so.”

“I’m really trying to get my shit together for you and our child.”

“I know you are.”

“If you get to have a rule, I get to have one,” he said.

“What’s your rule?”

“I want you to quit working for Petracelli.”

“What?” I was shocked.

“I don’t want you to go back after your maternity leave.”

“Well I was planning on taking at least three months off after the baby was born.”

“I don’t think you need to go back.”

“I need to work, Declan.”

“I don’t want you around that guy anymore.”

“Why?”

“You know why.” I was quiet for a few minutes, thinking. I could understand why he wouldn’t want me to work for Martin anymore, especially after he found out about us sleeping together. I wouldn’t want him to work so closely with someone that he had slept with either.

“OK. I’ll call him tomorrow and let him know my decision.”

“You’ll quit?”

“Yes, but I am going to find another job after three months.”

He kissed the back of my head.

“Thank you.”

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” I asked.

“No.”

“I do.”

“Still?”

“Always.”

*****************************************************************************************

Sharon and I were at my house watching TV by ourselves in the middle of the day. Declan was at work, and since I was only three days from my due date, she came over to stay with me until he got home, just in case baby Draven decided not to wait.

It was the middle of August, and Dorchester was hotter than the gates of hell. Thank God that my landlord had splurged and had central air put in two years ago. I had gotten my fair share of used from it this summer. I had it set at 66 degrees, and was wearing a tank top and cut off shorts. Sharon was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, and still complained that it was freezing.

“I like it cold enough to hang meat,” I told her.

“You’re the pregnant lady. I know better than to fight with you.” I laughed.

“When are you going to tell me the baby name? I need to have your shower gift monogrammed.”

“You will find out when he is ready to come out of here,” I said, patting my stomach. “Which is not soon enough for mama, that’s for sure.”

“Are you excited?”

“Yes. Nervous though.”

“About what?”

“How he’s going to come out of there.” She laughed.

“You’ll live.”

“I hope so,” I said dramatically, getting up from my seat on the couch.

“Where are you going?” Sharon asked.

“I have to pee!”

“Of course you do.” I waddled my fat ass to the bathroom and shut the door.

When I sat down on the toilet, I heard a loud splash. I looked down at myself like I was going to see something.

“What just happened?” I said to myself. I stood up and looked in the toilet and saw nothing. Something made a splash in there.

“Sharon!” I yelled. I heard her come to the door.

“What?”

“I think my water just broke!”

“Holy shit.” She pushed the door open just as I was pulling my shorts up.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure! I heard something splash in the toilet, and it wasn’t pee!”

“Holy shit. Okay, we need to get going then. Are you having contractions?”

“No, not ye- owww!” I screamed.

“Now you are.” We hurried out of the bathroom and Sharon scrambled around getting my overnight bag for the hospital.

“Let’s go, we can call people in the car,” she said. I nodded and we hurried out to her car.

I got into the passenger seat and immediately tried to call Declan at the garage. No answer, so I tried my mom. I got her on the third ring.

“Hello?” she said.

“Sharon’s taking me to the hospital. My water broke at the house.”

“Oh my god. Your dad and I are in the area, we’ll meet you there.”

“OK.” We hung up and I tried the garage again. Nothing.

“Where the hell is everyone?” I said out loud to Sharon.

“You can’t get a hold of Declan?”

“No. No one is answering at the garage.”

“Try again in a minute. Maybe the lines are jammed or something.”

I settled back into my seat for the last five minutes of the ride to the hospital. When we got there, Sharon ran inside to get a nurse, and I tried Declan again to no avail.

When they came out they brought a wheel chair with them, even though I felt fine to walk in on my own. We went in and I filled out some paperwork quickly, then they rushed me up to the Maternity floor.

They got me situated in a room and put me in a gown. My parents came in about five minutes later.

“Hey,” I said to them.

“How are you feeling?” my mom asked me.

“So so. Ready to get this done and over with if only someone could get in touch with my babies father,” I said with an angry tone in my voice.

“I’ll go try and call him again,” Sharon said to me.

“Thank you.” My dad went out to the waiting room with her, and my mom stayed with me while my doctor examined me.

“Almost there, Diana. Your baby boy is almost ready to come out.”

“Well he’s gonna have to wait a little longer until his daddy gets here,” I said to him. He smiled at me, and left me with a nurse. Sharon came in a minute later.

“Nothing?” I said to her. She shook her head and I laid back in the bed.

“Where the hell is he?” I said to them.

“Don’t worry.” The contractions were coming sooner and sooner now, and getting worse. A different nurse came in.

“The doctor wants us to give you the labor inducing drugs now.”

“No! You can not put me into labor until this babies father gets here!” I shouted.

“I’ll get your doctor and you can discuss it with him.”

“Fine,” I laid my head down on the pillow and tried to focus on breathing.

“Where the hell is Declan?”

“He’ll be here. Your dad is still trying to reach him.”

“Something must be wrong.”

“No, don’t think like that.”

“If nothing is wrong then why isn’t he here?”

My doctor came in then.

“Doctor, you can’t give me those drugs yet. Not until Declan gets here.”

“Diana, I wish I could wait for him. But your baby is ready now. Right now, and he’s not going to wait any longer. I’m not going to need drugs to induce the labor if we wait much longer, and if we try to keep him in there, that could lead to problems for his health and yours. We need to do this now, I’m sorry.” I stared up at the ceiling and yelped in pain at another contraction.

“Fine,” I said, feeling a tear on my cheek that I quickly wiped away. He nodded at the nurse and she injected something into my IV.

“We’re going to take you to the birthing room now,” she said. I nodded and grabbed my mother’s hand.

“Will you guys go with me?” I asked her and Sharon.

“Of course,” they said in unison.

The nurses got the bed ready, then pushed me down the hall to where I would give birth to my son. My mother put my hair into a bun on top of my head for me because I was already sweating. The drugs were working fast.

The doctor came in a second later, all gowned up and ready to go. He had a mask covering his nose and mouth, a cap on his head, and gloves on his hands. I swallowed back another yelp and tried breathing some more. My mother and Sharon were on either side of me, rubbing my arms and holding my hands.

“Alright, Diana, get ready,” the doctor said. There were nurses all around us in the room waiting to help as soon as the baby came out.

I heard heavy footsteps approaching the door fast. When I looked over, Declan was running into the room with my dad hot on his heels.

“Holy shit,” he said, running over to me. I had no words, I just started laughing and crying at the same time.

“I’m here, baby, I made it,” he said, pushing the hair back on my forehead. Sharon grabbed Declan’s arm and moved him over to where she had been standing, then she and my dad left the room, leaving me, Declan, and my mom. Declan had his arm around my back and was massaging my shoulder with one hand, while holding my hand with the other, and kissing the top of my head.

“You’re doing great, D. Just breathe.” I felt like I was dying, but it felt so much better now that he was here.

“Give me a big push, Diana,” the doctor said. I pushed as hard as I could, using Declan as a brace because I knew he was strong enough to take it. He kept his lips against the top of my head, quietly telling me to breathe. He grabbed onto my shoulder hard and I braced myself against his arm and pushed again.

“You’re doing great, honey,” my mom said.

“Push, Diana,” the doctor said. I bit my lip hard and took several deep breaths before I pushed again. I could feel Declan’s arm on my back tightening, so I pushed my weight against it and pushed as hard as I could again.

“One more, and he’s out, Diana.” I pushed again and the next thing I heard were my babies cries throughout the room. My whole body fell back against the bed and Declan, and he reached around and hugged me tightly. I had tears dried onto my face and no strength in my entire body.

“You did so good, D. I’m so proud of you,” Declan said into my ear.

“Would you like to cut the cord, Declan?” the doctor asked. I gave his shoulder a little shove.

“Go,” I said into his ear. He stood up and walked down to where the nurses were with our son.

I heard him say ‘oh my god,’ when he saw the baby, and the nurses told him what to do. He looked at me when he was done.

“He’s beautiful, D,” he said with a huge smile on his face. I smiled at him while the nurse got me cleaned up and into a more comfortable position.

“Here you go, daddy,” one of the other nurses said, “Here is your son.” She told him how to hold him, then placed the baby in his arms carefully. I laughed at him. I was so ridiculously happy as he walked over to me carrying our son.

“He’s beautiful,” he said. My mother looked over his arm at the baby and smiled, then Declan came over and put the baby in my arms.

“Oh my God,” I said, laughing. He was so small. The nurses had him wrapped in a blue and white blanket, and he was swaddled so tightly you could only see his little head.

I moved the blanket a little so I could see him. He had dark wisps of hair covering his head that was as soft as silk. I put my hand gently against his forehead to shield his eyes so I could see them. He looked up at me and I felt myself crying again. His eyes were blue like Declan’s.

I could feel Declan’s arm around me again and I looked up at him and smiled, and we both laughed. He leaned down and touched his forehead to mine.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said.

“He’s so beautiful.”

“He looks like you.”

“No.”

“What’s his name?” one of the nurses asked. The doctor had left after congratulating us. I looked up at Declan and nodded.

“Draven West DeSoto.” My mom smiled and swept her hand over the babies head.

“I love it,” she said.

“You do?”

“Yes, it’s perfect.”

“Will you go get dad and Sharon?” I asked her.

“Yes.” She left the room, leaving Declan and I with one nurse who was entering some information into a computer and checking mine and the babies vital signs.

I moved over in the bed a little and Declan sat next to me with his arm around me, and we watched our baby together.

“I can’t believe he’s finally here,” I said.

“I know. It’s crazy.”

“You’re a daddy,” I said happily and he smiled.

“Yeah.”

“Here, you hold him,” I said, handing Draven to him carefully. He got out of the bed and stood with him, talking to him quietly.

“Hey, boss. I can’t believe you’re here. You’re real now, not just living in your mama’s belly.” He kissed the babies forehead. “I love you so much, little man,” he said. I smiled and laid my head back on my pillow, just as my mom came back in with my dad and Sharon.

We made introductions, and Declan left to call Mo and Lincoln, and his sister, Charlie to tell them the news. Sharon held the baby and said she was going to call immediately to have her shower gift monogrammed.

They all left a little while later. I was so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep for hours, but I just didn’t want to stop looking at my baby. I held him one more time, then the nurse took him off to the nursery. Declan stayed with me for a few minutes before I fell asleep.

“You did so good, Diana,” he said.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?”

“Yeah he is.” I smiled at him sleepily.

“Go to sleep,” he said. I nodded and yawned.

“I hope he likes his room,” I said. Declan smiled.

“And Willa. I hope he likes Willa.”

“What’s not to like?”

“She’ll love him.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too, D.”