Pulled Me to the Stairs

“So…when are you going to admit that you want Alex freaking Gaskarth?”

John inhaled sharply and turned quickly on the spot. He was just locking his office for the day and was not expecting Matt to be standing behind him.

“I think Zack being 6 months pregnant is making you go crazy,” John scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“I think you’re in denial,” Matt retorted.

“The day I’m craving Alex Gaskarth’s taste and touch will be the day he stops being a pretentious asshole – and seeing as that’s never going to happen, neither will this so-called ‘wanting’, Matt,” John said seriously.

“My God, how can you not see it?” Matt asked incredulously.

John just narrowed his eyes at his best friend and walked past him down the corridor. This was starting to get annoying. Matt caught up quickly as John had to wait for an elevator.

“Don’t ignore me, John,” Matt mused.

“I can do what I want,” John muttered.

“Including Alex?” Matt said innocently.

“Fuck off! I don’t want him!” John scowled.

“I think all your anger towards him is actually sexual tension,” Matt smirked.

“And I think you need your head checked. Book in at reception for an appointment,” John snapped.

With that, he walked away. With that, he thought that would be the end of it. He was wrong.

John was just finishing off some notes on a new patient when his cell phone started ringing. Matt. Huh. Matt never called after 9pm unless it was important – it was 11pm now.

“Hello?” John answered politely.

“Zack isn’t at our apartment even though he said he would be and he hasn’t texted me and I don’t know where he is and what if he’s in trouble or what if he’s just run away or…”

“WOAH! Slow down, what’s happened?” John interrupted, frowning.

Matt wasn’t the type of person to freak out like this, so John knew something was wrong.

“At dinner my parents kinda overwhelmed Zack with the gifts for the baby and he got Jack to pick him up early, saying that he’d just go back to the apartment. I asked him to text me when he got there, but he didn’t. And I’ve just got back to the apartment and he’s not here. I don’t know where the fuck he is because he isn’t answering his phone and I’m scared in case he’s hurt or run away from me again,” Matt rambled, although it was comprehendible this time.

John scowled softly. Typical Zack running away from his problems.

“Shit, um, have you tried calling Alex? Or going to Alex’s?” John sighed.

“Why Alex?” Matt frowned.

“I know you’re panicking and all, but you should’ve realised that Zack always goes to Alex’s – if I can think of it, so can you,” John frowned.

“Yeah, well, what if he comes back here when I’m out at Alex’s! I don’t want to leave in case he comes back. Can you…”

“No,” John said quickly, knowing what Matt was going to ask.

“But…”

“No,”

“What if…”

“No,”

“For me?”

15 minutes later, John was pulling up outside Alex’s small house, scowling. The things he did for Matt. Locking his car, he stomped up to the front door, pressing the doorbell twice. Zack was here. He just knew it. John’s scowl deepened when Alex answered the door.

“What the fuck are you doing here, O’Callaghan?” Alex sneered.

Zack and Jack appeared behind Alex, surprise on their faces. John knew he’d be right.

“Believe me, I take no pleasure in being in the same street as you, Gaskarth, but I’m here on Matt’s bidding, as always,” John said sharply.

John’s eyes landed on Zack, a slight glare, making Zack look visibly uncomfortable. Good.

“Matt’s freaking out back at your apartment because you’re not there like you said you would be, and also because you didn’t text him. He’s worried that you had run away again because of the ‘overwhelming’ situation at his parents’ house, so he sent me out to do his dirty work. He’s still in the apartment in case you ‘decide’ to come back, but I told him you’d be here. You’re always fucking here when you can’t face your problems,” John said angrily.

“Hey, back the fuck off, O’Callaghan. You of all people should know how upright and pressuring Matt’s parents’ are, so don’t you start on Zack for wanting to come somewhere that calms him down,” Alex defended, stepping in front of Zack.

“Not that it concerns you, Gaskarth, but Zack and Matt have a baby on the way – Zack can’t just go gallivanting around the city whenever he feels like it,” John sneered.

“Who are you to say what Zack can and can’t do? He’s a human being, he is free to do what he likes!” Alex exasperated.

“What kind of arty hippie bullshit is that? This is the modern day – pregnant people can’t just expect peace and love and flowers whenever they walk through the streets,” John scowled.

“The modern day – exactly. Zack doesn’t have to be the submissive pregnant housewife waiting on his boyfriend’s beck and call, so stop being so archaic!” Alex growled.

“Zack should think about the consequences of not telling Matt where he is when he’s meant to be somewhere else. Matt’s feelings get hurt too, y’know,” John said angrily.

“Fuck Matt’s feelings and fuck you,” Alex spat.

John narrowed his eyes and, before he’d even thought about it, pushed Alex firmly against the wall, his hands pinning Alex in place on his shoulders.

“Get the fuck off me, you uptight son of a bitch,” Alex demanded.

John saw something flash in Alex’s eyes that wasn’t anger, and his thoughts travelled back to Matt’s words earlier in the day.

“I think all your anger towards him is actually sexual tension,”

What if it was? Well, at least some of John’s extreme dislike of Alex could be sexual tension. And what better way than to get it out of his system? He didn’t mention to Alex that Zack and Jack seemed to have left – Alex’s eyes hadn’t left his face so he knew he probably hadn’t noticed. John smirked and pressed himself firmly against Alex’s body, lining up every inch of skin apart from their faces, smirking even more as the younger man’s breath hitched in his throat.

“I think you’re the uptight one, Alex. When was the last time you actually got laid?” John murmured in Alex’s ear.

“Three days ago, fuck you very much,” Alex retorted, although his voice was a little shaky.

“Hmm, he couldn’t have been very good. Not with how sexually frustrated you are,” John taunted.

“I’m not sexually frust…oh!”

John cupped Alex’s crotch through his sweatpants and squeezed, cutting off Alex’s words as he made a breathy moan. The shorter man started to harden in his touch, only making John more smug. And a little hard himself.

“I think your dick says otherwise,” John smirked.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Alex whimpered, his eyes clouding with lust.

“How about…no?” John breathed.

John didn’t know what he expected Alex’s response to be, but it sure wasn’t for Alex to grab John’s face between his hands and crash their lips together, kissing him like his life depended on it. John groaned before he could stop himself, kissing back just as eagerly, his hands gripping Alex’s waist. Kissing turned to making-out, making-out turned to groping, groping turned to grinding, grinding turned to Alex dragging John into his bedroom, and dragging turned into them both being naked on Alex’s bed, John straddling Alex’s waist.

“I’m on top,” John said firmly.

“Like your dick could get a reaction out of me,” Alex scoffed.

John scowled and bucked his hips so their erections ground together, Alex moaning wantonly.

“Says the cockslut,” John retorted.

“I’m not a co…oh!”

John bucked his lips a little harder, achieving the same breathy moan as before.

“Fuck I love that noise,” he groaned, his lips attaching to Alex’s neck.

Alex arched his back slightly as John sucked, nipped and licked at his skin, not caring that he was giving in so easily, not caring that John was marking him for the world to see. He couldn’t turn back now. He didn’t want to turn back now.

“Get the fuck on with it, O’Callaghan,” Alex groaned.

John pulled away from Alex’s neck with a grin.

“Got condoms and lube?” he breathed.

“Top drawer,” Alex said.

“I didn’t put it past you to have supplies, slut,” John smirked.

“Like I’d pull a Zack and Matt. I don’t want your fucked up demon seed growing in me,” Alex scoffed.

John scowled and swiped his thumb over the mark on Alex’s neck, making Alex moan loudly. John snickered and grabbed a half-empty bottle of lube as well as three condoms before sitting back on his knees between Alex’s legs.

“Half-empty huh? Did you use this much on the last guy?” John purred, popping the cap.

Alex’s eyes went wide, transfixed on the way John drizzled the lube of his fingers, completely coating 3 of them.

“Answer me, slut,” John growled, nudging Alex’s legs apart.

“Y-Yeah, he did it himself, he was a bit…oh!”

Alex threw his head back as John pushed in two fingers straight off the bat.

“Barely any restriction. Fuck, you are a slut. He was a bit what? And don’t you dare stop talking,” John smirked.

Alex swallowed heavily as John started to pump his fingers, twisting them slightly in a way that made his head spin. He wasn’t a slut, really. Alex just liked to get himself off, and if that involved a vibrating dildo, so be it. He really wasn’t one for picking up guys at random.

“He was a bit sloppy. Didn’t know what he was doing in that I’m amazing when I really not kind of ways,” Alex moaned, pushing his hips down to thrust against John’s fingers.

He couldn’t believe he was actually offering his ass to John fucking O’Callaghan, but he hadn’t had anyone touch him in such an amazing way in so long, despite his occasional casual hook-ups.

“And where did you meet this guy?” John asked, crooking his fingers.

Alex cried out, making John grin. Bingo. He added the third finger before starting to scissor his fingers, stretching Alex out.

“G-Grocery store. H-He was looking at the organic vegetables and we st-started talking. He came back here and we fucked for three hours,” Alex choked, squeezing his eyes shut.

Three hours. John was impressed, although it was probably that long because Alex wasn’t getting off. But John would change that. He was going to blow Alex’s fucking mind.

“Did I tell you that you could stop looking at me?” John said lowly.

Alex forced his eyes open at the sound of John’s husk, making John inhale sharply at how wrecked he looked already. Fuck.

“Stop stalling,” Alex managed to bite out.

John withdrew his fingers sharply, Alex clenching around nothing. Alex managed to push himself up on his forearms to watch John roll the condom over his dick, covering it with lube. John’s wasn’t the longest dick Alex had ever taken, but he was still a decent length, enough to fill Alex generously – and he was thick. By God was he thick. John saw Alex watching his hard-on and he smirked, a slight shiver running through his body. He hadn’t had someone look at him like that, not this intensity, in a while.

“Ready?” John asked, positioning himself at Alex’s entrance.

Alex narrowed his eyes.

“Are you?” Alex shot back.

Jack raised an eyebrow before pushing his tip in, gritting his teeth. Fuck, Alex was tight already. Fucking fuck. Alex just looked up at him with hungry eyes so John slowly inched himself in, trying desperately not to come then and there from Alex’s vice-like warmth. When his hips finally pressed against Alex’s ass, he let out a low moan, Alex just whimpering.

“So fucking tight,” John grunted.

Alex knew he’d thought that John was thick, but not this thick. Even his most ambitious dildo wasn’t this girth. John was filling him, stretching him, in ways he’d never been before and he fucking love it.

“Move,” Alex gasped.

John hesitated a second longer to control himself, before doing as Alex asked.

Nearly 4 hours later they were still going. Alex had already come once after the first 2 hours, but John had held out, determined to show Alex that he had the upper hand. Now that Alex was hard and flushed against his stomach and near his peak again, John had him right where he wanted him, his legs round John’s hips and his moans filling the room.

“S-So fucking cl-close,” Alex cried out, throwing his head back, sweat rolling down the side of his forehead.

John cried out as Alex’s clenched around him, quickly moving them so John was on his back and Alex was sitting upright, changing the angle just enough to get John that little bit deeper inside. John’s entire body was on fire, his limbs burning with it, and he knew that after this he’d never want anyone more. He just knew. And that scared him.

He gripped Alex’s hips a little harder and moved him up and down on his dick, not letting Alex do any work. Alex just moaned helplessly, so close, so so close.

“Touch yourself,” John rasped.

Alex growled but did so, jerking off roughly in time with John’s thrusts. John cried out again as Alex tightened impossibly around him, before coming long and hard over their chests, yelling John’s name. Just the sound of his name coming from Alex’s wrecked throat was enough to send John over the edge, and he shot his load into the condom, thrusting slowly as his mind wiped over in a dark abyss. He got control of himself again as he came down from his high, helping Alex off of his deflating dick before tying the condom and throwing it in the general direction of the bin.

“Fuck. Fuck,” Alex choked, still panting, still sweating.

“Right back at you,” John groaned, using the corner of Alex’s sheet to clean his chest.

Alex pressed a sloppy kiss to his lips before flopping onto his back, his arm thrown over his eyes. John found that almost endearing. Almost. John was torn between getting dressed and leaving, and getting under Alex’s duvet and staying, when Alex’s home phone rang. Alex grunted, not moving, making John chuckle and reach over to pick it up.

“Alex Gaskarth, submissive bitch,” John said in a scratchy voice, his throat strained from all the crying out.

“Oh my gosh!”

That sounded like Zack. Shit!

“Zack?” John yelped.

“Give me the phone,” Alex demanded, finally moving to grab it out of John’s hands.

By the time Alex put the phone to his ear, the call had cut out.

“I hate you. I fucking hate you,” Alex growled.

Well, that was a change in attitude.

“What? It’s not like I knew it would be Zack,” John shrugs.

Alex scowled and punched John in the arm before reaching for his boxers. John rolled his eyes as Alex’s dramatic nature before pulling on his boxers too. At least it looked like his decision to stay or leave was made for him. Now, how to deal Alex a parting blow?

“For someone so bad-tempered and frigid in nature, you’re not bad in bed, Gaskarth. Not the best I’ve had, but not bad,” John commented, reaching for his jeans.

Alex whirled around, anger clear on his features. John just smirked. It really was just too easy to get under Alex’s skin. Hah.

“Not bad? Excuse me O’Callaghan, you were the one moaning just as loud as I was, if not louder. That kinda proves I’m better than not bad, asshole,” Alex said angrily.

“Whatever you say, Gaskarth,” John shrugged.

Alex growled a little, a deep guttural sound that John was ashamed to admit made a little blood rush south. Fuck, that was a sexy sound.

“Take your boxers off and get back on my bed,” Alex ordered.

“What?” John asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Do it,” Alex spat.

Angry Alex was kind of hot. No, John was just amused, that’s all. He slowly pushed down his boxers, Alex’s eyes dropping straight to his half-hard dick as John sat down on Alex’s bed.

“What next, oh master of pleasure?” John mused.

“On your hands and knees,” Alex said firmly.

John swallowed heavily but did so, moving into the middle of the bed. He had a vague idea where this was going and he couldn’t deny that he got a little harder at the thought. He watched Alex push down his own boxers before crawling behind him. John moaned softly as Alex spread his cheeks, breathing a teasing blow to his entrance. Fuck, no, he wasn’t going to let Alex get to him this easily.

“I’m going to rim you until you’re a begging panting whore. Then I’m going to fuck you with a dildo until you’re on the point of insanity before taking it away. Then I’m going to ride you until your screams fill the house. By the time I’m done with you, O’Callaghan, you’ll be a writhing, destroyed mess,” Alex growled, his voice dripping with lust.

Never had dirty words turned him on more.

“Prove it,” John rasped.

*

From that night on, Alex and John continued to hook-up every few days, unable to stay away from the spark that they’d discovered, the heat and passion between them. Sure, most of it was angry sex after an argument, but it was the best sex either of them had ever had. That’s what Alex despised the most.

Alex Gaskarth had never hated anyone more than he hated John O’Callaghan.

Everyone knew it.

It was a shame that he’s never lusted after anyone more either.

Alex knew John was the same as him, and that only made it worse. The harder they tried to stay away from each other, the more the urge to fuck grew, until it exploded and one of them ended up at the other’s home. The burning raw desire that they felt only around each other only lasted from just before they had sex to just after, but neither was willing to call it more than casual angry sex.

Casual angry sex that was becoming a very regular thing.

So regular that when Zack went into labour, John was with Alex because they’d just come from John’s apartment. When Zack had to be operated on and they’d all been kicked out of the room, John didn’t want to admit that he was freaking out inside at the thought of Alex ever being in that situation. And Alex didn’t want to admit that the only thing he knew would calm him down would be John’s arms wrapped around him. So they stayed silent, desperately ignoring their thoughts.

When they were led to the recovery room, Alex had never been more overjoyed to see Zack breathing. John had never been more overjoyed to see his best friend cry. And when they saw their goddaughter, neither of them had ever smiled so wide.

“Rose. Rose Maria Flyzik,” Matt replied, smiling at he spoke.

John smiled even wider, as did Alex. It suited her.

“Beautiful name. They’ll have to stay here for a few more days just for observation, but after that they’re both free to go home. I’ll go and fill in the forms and her birth certificate,” Rian announced.

“Can I come?” Jack asked hopefully.

“Okay?” Rian frowned.

Jack just beamed and followed Rian out the room.

“We’ll go and get food and coffee from around the corner. Fuck knows that hospital food is shitty and Zack will want something better,” Alex told Matt.

“Language! Am I the only one thinking of what Rose can hear?!” John exasperated.

“Shut the fuck up, O’Callaghan,” Alex retorted, snickering.

“Make me, Gaskarth,” John growled.

“Do you mind taking your sexual frustration away from my innocent daughter?” Matt asked innocently.

Alex and John blushed, before leaving the room, storming not far down the corridor, before Alex whirled around to glare at the older man.

“Why the fuck do you always have to try and show me up?!” Alex hissed.

“Show you up? I think you’re doing a fine job of that all by yourself, Gaskarth,” John scoffed.

“Stop being such a fucking asshole – we nearly lost Zack,” Alex spat.

“Yeah, I know we did, I was in the fucking room, Alex. Don’t you dare try and get the upper hand on me just because he’s your best friend,” John growled.

“You are so infuriating!” Alex exasperated.

“Me?!” John sneered.

“Yes, you! You’re acting like you’re the best fucking thing in the world and you are far from it,” Alex scowled.

“That’s not what you were screaming last night,” John purred.

Alex blushed, opening his mouth to report, when he heard someone clearing their throat next to them. Both turned their heads to see a nurse standing there.

“Uh, you’re scaring some of the patients. Can you take this somewhere else or stop?” she asked nervously.

John nodded stiffly and glared at Alex before walking away. Alex scowled even more and followed him, refusing to back down. John was the one in the wrong. Not him.

“Where the fuck are you going? Don’t you dare walk away from this,” Alex said angrily, catching up to John as he reached the main doors of the building.

“Where did you park my car?” John asked, ignoring him.

“Over there,” Alex pointed, frustrated, “why?”

“Because I’m going to fuck you in the backseat and remind you that I am the best you’ve ever had and ever will have,” John said bluntly.

Alex’s jaw dropped slightly, John just grabbing his wrist and tugging him along. John opened the back door and shoved Alex inside, getting in too before shutting the door behind him. John didn’t waste any time unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them down along with his boxers, Alex doing the same himself. John gazed down at Alex’s half-hard dick and smirked – he knew Alex would get aroused just by the idea of fucking where any could see them. Alex could barely think with all the desire buzzing around his head. He’d never had sex in the back of a car before, and now he knew he never would be able to again without thinking of John and his thick dick.

“Suck me, that’s all you’re getting,” John ordered.

Alex couldn’t duck his head down quickly enough.

*

Alex can’t believe Rose is 5 weeks old already. He really can’t. Especially from the drama that surrounded her birth. He and John hadn’t spoken for a week after the Audi sex, but then John had turned up at his house in the middle of the night and fucked him harder than ever before right on the kitchen table, and their routine of passionate fucking started all over again. Last night included. Alex was trying to forget about the feeling of John’s hands gripping his hips as he pounded into Alex from behind. It’s not exactly the thing anyone should be thinking about in the presence of his best friends and a baby.

Yes, Alex was sitting in the coffee shop next to his gallery with Jack, Zack and Rose, Jack bouncing Rose on his knee and pulling faces to make her gurgle and smile, while Zack and Alex caught up. They hadn’t seen each other as much recently, but Alex understood. Zack had new responsibilities now. He had to get used to that.

“I’ve never seen you like this, y’know,” Alex commented, finishing the last of his cappuccino.

“What do you mean?” Zack frowned.

“You’re so at peace with yourself, like you have everything you’ve ever wanted,” Alex explained, not really being able to think of any other way to put it.

“That’s because I do have everything I’ve ever wanted. It might’ve taken me a while to realise it but I want nothing more than to have Matt by my side and Rose in my arms, for the rest of my life,” Zack said honestly, smiling at his daughter as Jack made her shriek in happiness particularly loudly.

Alex sighed softly. Hearing Zack so…happy reminded him that he didn’t have that. He didn’t have that wholeness in knowing that there was someone who loved him just as much in return. All he had was John’s presence a few times a week and that wasn’t exactly much other than sex. Not a relationship.

Zack frowned as Alex fell silent, knowing what was running through his mind. Sometimes he could read Alex like a comic book, and now was one of those times.

“Why can’t you just try something serious with John?” Zack asked softly.

“Because John’s a douchebag,” Alex said immediately.

“No he’s not,” Zack retorted.

“Yes he is! He’s arrogant, smug, big-headed and so fucking old-fashioned that it’s not funny! All he does is sit on his ass and listen to people ranting all day about their problems, and then he has the audacity to say that running an art gallery as well as producing my own art isn’t a worthwhile profession. And then there’s his view on society, like how he thinks that the majority of people without jobs are too lazy to find jobs and should just get off their ass to look, or how he thinks someone who’s just had a baby should just stay at home and look after that child until it’s at least 3. I mean, what the fuck is that all about?! And he has to have his coffee with just the right amount of cream and sugar, which is just fucking stupid because if it’s got too much of either then he just pours it down the sink and starts all over – there are people in the Third World that can’t waste anything and he does it without thinking! And don’t even get me started on how anal he is about washing up cutlery – all a knife needs is a wipe-over on each side under running water, but he scrubs and scrubs and it’s so fucking annoying! He’s a rude mommy’s boy that thinks of no-one but himself and the last person on Earth I would ever have a relationship with,” Alex ranted.

Zack looked at Jack before the two burst out laughing.

“I would say Alex is falling in love, wouldn’t you Jack?” Zack sand teasingly.

“Oh yeah Zack, that’s exactly what I’d say,” Jack grinned.

Alex scowled at his laughing friends, before standing up sharply.

“Fuck both of you, I’m out of here,” he spat.

He left to even louder laughter. Fuck them both for saying something so stupid. Like he’d ever fall in love with an asshole like John. He stormed next door, back to his gallery, Sisky and Butcher looking at him in surprise.

“You’re back early,” Butcher commented.

“Yeah, well, I was bored,” Alex grunted.

Sisky sent a worried look at Butcher who just smiled softly in return. Alex knew they were sleeping together, they didn’t have to hide it from him. But whatever, that wasn’t his main focus right now.

“Did the new art come in?” Alex asked.

There was no use in letting some ridiculous comments ruin the work he had to do.

“Yeah, we’ve put a couple of pictures up in here, and the rest in the backroom,” Butcher nodded, waving him hand in the direction of the two paintings on the wall in front of him.

“But we can change them if you prefer different ones,” Sisky added, smiling.

Alex raised an eyebrow, smiling softly in amusement, before walking over to them, his eyes scanning over the pictures on the wall. Yes, these were good. A lot of abstract colour without it overbearing the clean lines and shapes the artist had drawn. Yes, these were very good. He made a mental note to call the artist, Gerard Way, later on to say so.

“I like them. Good job guys,” Alex said warmly.

Sisky and Butcher grinned at each other, making Alex laugh softly.

“I’m going to do some work in my drawing room, so come find me if you need me,” Alex announced.

Sisky and Butcher nodded, so Alex left. Aside from his office, Alex also had a room just for drawing in. Sometimes he could spend days in there without even realising, just losing himself in his art. He felt like today would be one of those days.

Alex sat down behind his drawing table, picking up the first sketchbook on the table. But when he flipped through it to find a clean page, all he could find were sketches of John. Sketches of John asleep, sketches of John smiling, sketches of John laughing, sketches of John angry, sketches of John naked…what the fuck?! Alex knew he’d occasionally drawn John when he wanted to keep an image of John locked in his memory, but how the fuck had those sketches amounted to filling an entire sketchbook?!

Alex snapped out of his thoughts as his cell phone buzzed. John. Of course, it would be him.

Come over at 7. J x

This only made Alex angrier. Since when did they arrange sex? Since when did John get to tell him what to do? Since when did John starting dictating Alex’s life? This was not a relationship!

Go fuck yourself. A

Alex slammed his phone down on his table with a scowl. He meant what he said. Alex had no boss, no-one told him what to do. Not now, not ever. With a huff, he pulled a clean sketchbook out of a drawer and flipped open to the front page. Grabbing a soft HB pencil from the nearest pot, Alex let his mind go blank as his hand started to sketch whatever his heart told him to, losing himself in his own world.

“So…this is where you’re hiding,”

Alex yelped at the sudden voice, scowling when he saw John standing in the doorway. What the fuck was he doing here?!

“You aren’t allowed in here. No-one is. This room is private,” Alex scowled, walking over to John and shoving him out the room.

“Yeah, I can see that,” John smirked, nodding towards Alex’s art easel.

Alex looked over his shoulder to see a half-finished naked oil painting of John, and blushed deeply before slamming the door behind himself.

“Don’t you dare ever come in here without knocking again, do you hear me? I know you don’t respect anything about my life, but I am serious about this,” Alex growled.

“Fine, I’ll knock next time,” John said, rolling his eyes.

Alex narrowed his eyes. Like there would be a next time.

“What are you even doing here?” Alex demanded.

“Zack said you’d be here,” John said.

“Sneaky fucking bastard,” Alex muttered.

“Well actually, it took a while to get that information. After your charming reply to my text I called Matt to see if Zack knew anything about why you were PMSing. Matt said he’d phone me back when he knew from Zack. Zack didn’t call Matt back for 4 hours because he was baby shopping with Jack and didn’t have a signal, and then Matt and Zack got distracted for a couple of hours before Matt eventually phoned me to say that you’d got into a hissy fit earlier and had most likely stormed in here. I stopped to get dinner on the way,” John shrugged.

Alex glanced at the clock on the wall. Shit, he’d been in there for 6 hours without even realising! Wait…John brought dinner?

“What’s wrong, Alex? And I don’t just mean what’s wrong with the Chinese food in my hand,” John asked softly.

The tenderness in John’s tone made Alex’s stomach flip…which only made him angry again.

“Nothing’s fucking wrong, why the fuck do you care?” Alex scowled.

“Well…”

John trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, as if not sure how to answer. Alex couldn’t help but feel a slightly twinge of disappointment. And then a bigger twinge of anger at the fact he actually wanted John to care.

“Just leave, O’Callaghan,” Alex spat.

“But I brought dinner,” John frowned.

“I don’t want you here so get the fuck out,” Alex said angrily.

John scowled, slamming the Chinese cartons on the small table next to them.

“Fuck you, Gaskarth. At least I’m trying,” John sneered.

Alex glared at John as he stormed out of the gallery without a second glance back. Then confusion washed over him. At least I’m trying. What the fuck did that mean? John was trying what? And what did it have to do with Alex? With a frustrated sigh, Alex turned around to walk back into his drawing room, his eyes landing on the takeaway Chinese food. John had left his cartons too. He’d left the dinner he bought them. Now Alex felt even more like a dick.

*

“So you definitely want cream and gold as the colour scheme?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, it’s the only combination Matt and I can actually agree on,” Zack mused.

Alex nodded and wrote that down on his plan. Zack had called him over on his day off to help him with planning his and Matt’s wedding, so the two of them were lying down on the floor of Zack’s living room, papers and wedding magazines spread out around them.

Matt and Zack had decided to get married when Rose was 7 months old, so that left 4 months to plan everything now that the 3 month old mark had just passed. A very tight schedule, but seeing as Matt had already found a church and a reception venue, it shouldn’t be too hard right? Especially now that Rose was starting to get a solid sleeping and napping routine set out. She’d sleep a full 6 hours at night now, and she could be awake for 10 hours straight in a day, leaving room for a couple of one hour or two hours naps with a few two or three hour awake spells, giving Matt and Zack a little more peace. Well, mainly Zack got the peace, because Matt was working long hours again now, but still. Zack had even started to work out in the apartment while Rose napped so he could get his body back (despite the long caesarean scar down his stomach) which amused Alex. Only Zack would care about working out while he had a baby.

But yes, Rose now slept a lot more regularly, although right now she was awake and lying on her back on a large sofa seat cushion between Zack and Alex, a butterfly mobile above her head. It kept her occupied, anyway.

“Matt wants us to have matching suits, but I’m not sure if I want that,” Zack commented, looking over some possible outfits in a magazine.

“Well, what would you want instead?” Alex asked.

“I want a grey suit with a white shirt and grey tie, like that really pretty steel grey colour,” Zack explained.

“That would compliment your eyes,” Alex agreed.

“That’s what I said! But Matt wants black on white on black,” Zack grumbled.

“Bleurgh,” Alex said, wrinkling his nose.

Rose made a huffing noise.

“Yes, Rosey Posey! Bleurgh!” Zack cooed.

Rose gurgled happily before huffing again. Well at least Zack’s daughter got his taste.

“Why don’t you try to compromise with Matt? Like, you have a grey suit and black tie while he has a black suit with a grey tie? That way you’ll still have some sort of co-ordination while still kinda having the majority of colours you each want,” Alex suggested.

A wide smile spread across Zack’s face, making Alex laugh.

“That’s a great idea! I’ll definitely suggest that to Matt. See, this is why I asked for your help!” Zack grinned.

“Ba ba ba!” Rose gurgled.

“You’d better tell Matt that Rose agrees too – that way it’s two against one,” Alex mused.

Alex leant over to Rose to brush the soft dark hair from her forehead, marvelling how she now had a full head of hair. She definitely got her hair colour from Matt.

“Ba!” Rose shrieked.

And then she grabbed a chuck of Alex’s hair in her podgy fingers and tugged. Hard. Alex yelped and Zack laughed.

“Get her off!” Alex hissed.

Zack laughed again and untangled his daughter’s hand from Alex’s hair.

“No tugging hair, okay Rose? It’s not nice,” Zack said firmly.

Rose just stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Fuck! That’s fucking hurt!” Alex whined, rubbing his head.

“Mm, great godfather skills right there, Gaskarth. Teaching Rose curse words,”

Alex scowled as John walked into the living room, closely followed by Matt. When did they get here?! Was it really that late in the day?!

“That’s funny, O’Callaghan. Last night you came way too soon because I used those bad bad curse words,” Alex retorted.

Okay, and maybe that didn’t make any sense or have any relevance to Rose, but it still made John blush deeply and Matt and Zack laugh. Rose then noticed that Matt was in the room and gurgled happily.

“Ba ba ba ba ba!” Rose babbled.

“That’s right, I’m your Papa,” Matt grinned, scooping her into his arms.

Rose could now recognise her parents, which only made Zack and Matt even happier than before now that Rose acknowledged the family bond they all had. Zack sighed blissfully as Matt babbled back to their daughter, but Alex still glared at John. Fuck, he was so annoying.

“Are you going to sneak out again when you leave in the morning? Because I’d like it if you actually shut the front door this time. Don’t want any of your paint-covered hobo clothes to be stolen,” John smirked to Alex.

“If you didn’t rip them off with so little class, they might actually be able to be folded and collected,” Alex sneered.

Zack’s eyes widened, Matt just shaking his head and rolling his eyes. John just smirked a little harder.

“You begged me to rip your clothes off, you were begging like a whore,” John purred.

Alex almost blushed. Almost.

“Now who’s using bad words around Rose, huh?” Alex growled.

John opened his mouth to retort, but couldn’t. Alex smirked and turned back to look at Zack.

“So…table centre pieces for the reception?” Alex prompted.

*

4 months after Rose was born, she could roll onto her back and then back onto her front. 4 months after Rose was born, Alex had practically moved into John’s city apartment, having gotten fed up with having to go across the city after sex and then fed up with not having any clothes at John’s house when he woke up in the morning. Zack and Matt were so happy at Rose’s development, glad that their daughter was progressing like every other baby was progressing. Alex and John were still in denial about being in a relationship.

They just had sex, okay? No feelings at all. John didn’t get jealous over the cute art dealers that Alex spent a lot of time with. Alex didn’t get angry when John used the last of the milk and left him none for his morning tea. John didn’t find himself smiling uncontrollably at how the left side of his bed smelt like Alex even when Alex wasn’t there. Alex didn’t find himself missing John when John worked late into the night.

Uh, yeah. No feelings at all.

Grocery shopping. Snuggling while they watched TV. Doing combined laundry loads. Texting all day. Fucking all night. No, none of this was relationship stuff. Alex didn’t know John’s favourite pizza toppings, favourite baseball team or his favourite author. Alex didn’t know anything intimate like the only shampoo brand John bought. And John didn’t know Alex’s all time favourite band, favourite cereal or his favourite hair care products. And John didn’t know the names of every single pet Alex had ever had.

They weren’t in a relationship.

And that was that.

*

Alex sat down in his office with two fresh mugs of coffee and a carton of apple juice for Rose, Zack sitting down opposite with his wedding plan folder. Today was to be spent finalising the plan before putting out the final touches. The suits were ordered but had to be fitted. The rings were ordered but had to be collected. The flowers were still in debate, as was the entertainment for the reception and the transport to and from the church. But that was what today was for. Planning.

Alex had left his office door open though, giving him a perfect view of the main gallery space. Just in case, y’know.

“So…shall we start with the entertainment?” Alex suggested.

“Definitely. Matt wants a classical band,” Zack grimaced.

“Hell no,” Alex scoffed.

Rose huffed in agreement.

“That’s what I said. I want a rock band but he doesn’t think that would be suitable,” Zack grumbled.

“Well, I know a few bands in the area that aren’t so heavy rock, more soft rock and indie, that you and Matt could go and listen to before deciding?” Alex offered.

“That would be amazing,” Zack gushed.

“I’ll make a few calls,” Alex grinned.

“You should be a wedding planner. Legit. You know everyone and everything,” Zack mused.

“No, I just seem to be lucky. I know fuck all about cakes or embroidered handkerchiefs,” Alex mused.

Zack just laughed, Rose gurgling in response with a wide, drooling smile.

“Great, that’s one item off. Were flowers your next problem?”

“Yes!” Zack groaned, “Matt wants roses but I think that’s too traditional. I don’t know. I just want something a little different,”

“My cousin had crimson gerberas and orchids?” Alex suggested.

“What are they?” Zack frowned.

“Oh they’re beautiful! Come round here and I’ll show you,” Alex grinned, opening his laptop.

Alex stood up and moved out the way so Zack could sit down with Rose, only to look out the doorway and see Sisky walking past with a very large can of paint…and for him to fall over.

“Shit!” Alex gasped, watching in horror as the bright green paint spilt all over the floor.

“What?” Zack frowned, standing up too.

Alex clenched his fists at the growing mess, about to yell at Sisky for making such a fucking mess, until Sisky stood up, covered in the green paint…

…and Rose shrieked with laughter.

“Oh my gosh! She laughed! That’s the first time she’s ever laughed!” Zack gasped.

Rose looked up at Zack, before shrieking with laughter again. Zack squealed and pressed a kiss to her head, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket to tell Matt. Alex found himself pulling out his cell phone too.

Rose just laughed! It was the most adorable thing ever! A x

Alex gasped softly as he pressed send. He sent that to John. What the fuck was he thinking, texting John like that?!

“Everything okay, Lex?” Zack asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Mmhmm,” Alex nodded, forcing a smile.

John’s reply came almost instantly.

That’s so cute! Wish I’d been there ;) J x

Alex blushed softly, making Zack and laugh.

“John, huh?” Zack grinned, bouncing Rose on his knee.

“Fuck you, Zack. It’s nothing,” Alex muttered.

“Yeah right, it’s nothing,” Zack retorted.

Alex rolled his eyes, scoffing.

“Don’t you think Uncle Alex is lying, Rose?” Zack asked his daughter.

Rose gurgled happily, before laughing again. Alex almost smiled…before he scowled again.

“Lighten up, Alex,” Zack mused.

“I’m perfectly light, thank you,” Alex retorted.

“I’m serious. I’m worried about you,” Zack murmured.

“Worried about what?” Alex frowned.

“Worried about you being alone,” Zack replied.

“I’m not alone. I have you, Rose and Jack,” Alex shrugged.

“You know what I mean, Alex. I don’t want you to be alone romantically for the rest of your life. I get that you’ve been hurt badly before, but a life without the comfort and intimacy of a relationship? That’s a sad life. And I know you’re worth more than that,” Zack said softly.

Alex chewed his bottom lip at his friend’s words. He didn’t want to be alone, but there was no-one he could see himself spending the rest of his life with.

“Thanks, but that’s not going to happen for me,” Alex replied shortly.

“I could happen with John if you gave it a chance,” Zack hinted.

Alex narrowed his eyes at his best friend, so Zack held his hands up his surrender.

“Alright, alright, no more John talk. Despite him being the only thing going on in your head. More wedding plans?” Zack suggested.

“Yeah. I’d better check on the Sisky situation first though,” Alex nodded.

Zack smiled and pecked the top of his daughter’s head, letting Alex leave. Alex walked straight out on the gallery main space to see both Butcher and Sisky trying to clean up the paint spill.

“Alex! I’m so sorry, the paint was heavier than I thought and I didn’t mean to spill it and I’m really sorry, please don’t fire me?” Sisky whimpered.

Alex raised an eyebrow, holding his hand up for silence.

“I’m not going to fire you. Just clean it up,” Alex grumbled.

“Uh, it’s not going to come off without a power hose,” Butcher said awkwardly.

Well fuck, that could get the artwork wet. Alex sighed.

“Uh, just paint the whole thing then,” Alex suggested.

“W-What?” Sisky stammered.

“Do massive paint spills over the entire floor. Only out here in the main gallery space, obviously,” Alex shrugged.

“Are you serious?” Butcher frowned.

“Yeah. If it isn’t going to come off, we might as well make it look like it’s meant to be there. I’ll close the gallery for a few days.Tape off all the skirting boards and use different brightly coloured paints. Put a hard clear varnish over the top. Make it abstract,” Alex smiled.

“Oh my God. That could work,” Sisky laughed.

“Of course it will. But since you’re the one that spilt it, you’re the one that’s doing it. I’m not getting involved,” Alex smirked to Sisky.

Sisky blushed a little.

“I’d like to help, if you don’t mind,” Butcher announced.

Sisky blushed a little bit more.

“Fine by me. Uh, put cleaning signs around it for now so people won’t accidentally step on it, and then the two of you can leave an hour early today to go and buy the paint. Don’t make me regret my decision,” Alex mused.

“We won’t. Thank you so much, Alex!” Sisky gushed.

“Sure thing. Try not to spill any paint anywhere else, yeah?” Alex teased.

Sisky blushed even more, making Alex laugh softly as he walked away. Sisky was a good guy. He just needed to learn to be a little less clumsy. At least he had Butcher in his bed to look after him.

“Hey, is everything okay out there?” Zack asked.

Alex smiled as Rose wrapped her hands around Zack’s finger and put it in her mouth, drooling all over it.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. There’s paint all over the floor but I’m letting them turn it into an art project, so I now have a few days off this week,” Alex laughed.

“Yay! More shopping for us!” Zack said happily.

Alex rolled his eyes but smiled.

“You’re lucky you’re a girl, or you could grow up to be as flaming as your daddy,” Alex told Rose.

Zack pouted but Rose shrieked with laughter again. Alex could get used to that sound.

*

“Is this a bad time?” John asked Matt awkwardly.

To be fair, Matt had bath bubbles in his hair and was covered in water.

“No, no, come in. I’m just giving Rose a bath before she has her 3 hour afternoon nap,” Matt explained.

John shut the door after himself with an amused smirk. This wasn’t exactly how he pictured his Saturday off work going, but he followed Matt up to the bathroom anyway. Alex had shut the gallery for a few days apparently and was just hanging around John's apartment, and John needed to get out, at least for a little while.

Sure enough, Rose was strapped into a special bath chair, looking less than amused at the situation.

“I’m guessing she doesn’t like baths, huh?” John chuckled.

“Not at all, no. Zack and I are trying to get her used to a routine though. Rian suggested that by 20 weeks, a baby should have some sort of routine. And seeing as Rose turned 5 months a week ago, we’re trying our hardest. She’s not making it easy though, are you Rosey Posey?” Matt sighed.

Rose huffed. Was that a glare? Wow, Rose was picking up Alex’s bad habits. Which reminded John of why he came here in the first place.

“I need to talk to you,” John announced.

“Talk while I bathe Rose and put her to bed,” Matt shrugged.

John nodded. That would have to do.

“I need to talk to you about…”

“Alex?” Matt interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

John swallowed heavily, but nodded.

“Yeah, Alex,” John said with a weak smile.

“Well anyone could’ve guessed that. The two of you fight and fuck like an old married couple as it is,” Matt snorted.

“Language,” John scolded.

Matt rolled his eyes, rinsing the last of the baby-safe shampoo out of Rose’s hair.

“What’s wrong now?” Matt asked.

“One minute he’s snuggling with me in front of the TV, the next he’s scowling at me from across the room. One minute he’s punching me in the arm, the next he’s got his tongue in my ass. One minute he’s hugging me like he never wants to let go, the next he’s screaming at me to leave him alone. I just don’t understand,” John ranted.

Matt sighed softly. He knew one day it would boil down to this.

“I’m going to be completely honest with you, okay?” Matt said softly.

John just nodded sadly. Matt beckoned John to follow him into Rose’s nursery, so John did. Matt picked up a diaper from the drawer as well as a onesie, putting Rose in both before looking at John again.

“All those things you just described are what Alex has been like ever since Zack introduced us. He blows hot and cold constantly, and that’s the way he’s always been. Even to Zack he can be a complete asshole sometimes,” Matt said honestly.

“Great, just freaking peachy,” John grumbled.

“I’m not saying give up. I’m just saying hold on,” Matt reassured.

“What if I don’t want to hold on? What if I’m just winding myself up in the heat of the moment without even thinking?” John exasperated.

“Well then you’ll have to decide what you want. I know that’s harsh, but you’re going to have to decide properly whether you want to pursue Alex or just keep fucking him,” Matt said honestly.

“Language,” John muttered.

Matt rolled his eyes, gently placing Rose down in her crib. Rose made a soft sound of protest, but quietened when Matt pressed a kiss to her forehead. John’s eyes landed on a photo of Matt, Zack and Rose framed on the windowsill, and smiled. They all looked so happy. So genuinely happy. Matt’s eyes followed John’s, and then he smiled too.

“Jack took that a couple of weeks ago. It’s my favourite photo of us,” Matt confessed.

“It’s beautiful,” John said softly.

Matt smiled and walked out of the nursery with John following, dimming the light until it was off completely.

“Wow, you’ve really got this routine set down, haven’t you?” John said, impressed.

“I’d like to think so,” Matt chuckled.

“I’m amazed by how well you two are doing, to be honest,” John mused.

“We have our good days and bad days, I’ll admit, but I’ll never be more in love with Zack than I am right now,” Matt admitted, blushing slightly.

John couldn’t help but smile. True love was a rarity; he wasn’t about to knock it down.

“I’m just happy I found my soul mate,” Matt added.

“Your soul mate?” John frowned.

“Yeah, my soul mate. Zack is the person I can’t imagine living my life without. He’s my other half, the ying to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly. He’s my soul mate,” Matt said simply.

An image of Alex smiling lazily up at him after morning sex flashed across John’s mind, but he shook his head to get rid of it. Yeah fucking right Alex Gaskarth.

“Got time for some football and a couple of beers?” John asked.

“Always,” Matt laughed.

For the rest of the afternoon, John just chilled out with Matt (and occasionally Rose), spending time with his best friend like they hadn’t been able to in so long. Weekends were good for something after all. It was just after 5pm when John got back to his apartment, so he knew Alex would be there. Where? He wasn’t sure. So he locked the front door behind him and went to search.

When he found Alex, it wasn’t what he was expecting. John froze slightly in the doorway to his guest room. Inside was Alex, and he had an artist easel in front of him, one hand holding a palette of paint and the other holding a paintbrush. What made John freeze was the fact that Alex was completely naked.

Why was Alex naked?

Why was John complaining?

“I could get used to seeing this sight for the rest of my life,” John blurted.

Alex looked over his shoulder, scoffing at John’s statement before returning to his work. Ouch. Wait, why did John care what Alex thought? Because he really could get used to seeing Alex naked in his apartment? No, he was stupid to even say that to Alex. Even so, Alex could’ve at least had a less angry response. John huffed and glanced at Alex’s perfect ass one last time before walking out of the room. Fuck Matt and his fucking stupid talking about soul mates. Fuck Alex and his amazing naked body exhibitionism.

John didn’t talk to Alex for the rest of the night, the only communication being a text sent to tell Alex that dinner was ready. John ate alone, watched TV alone and went to bed alone. It felt strange doing everything alone after having Alex constantly in his bed for…what, 8 months now? Holy shit 8 months of the same person. Had it really been that long? Were they really only just sleeping together?

Then John understood. He understood why he’d blurted out what he said to Alex. He couldn’t believe it, but it was true. John had fallen into a relationship routine without even meaning to, and now he was in too deep to scrabble out. Fuck, he’d done what he swore he’d never do. He’d fallen for Alex fucking Gaskarth – the only man on the planet who wanted nothing romantic to do with him.

Fuck.

John was still beating himself up about his stupidity when Alex crawled into bed next to him in the early hours of the morning. Well, at least Alex didn’t leave him alone all night. John stifled a moan when Alex pressed his front completely up against John’s back.

“I know you’re awake. You’re not doing that embarrassing occasional snort you do when you’re asleep,” Alex murmured, his lips sucking John’s earlobe into his mouth.

John was still too mad with himself to answer. Alex shouldn’t know that if their fucking wasn’t serious.

“You’re not going to talk with me because of earlier? Are you really that childish?” Alex scoffed, moving backwards slightly.

John missed his warmth already. And no, he wasn’t childish. He was just head over heels.

“Fine. Be that fucking way. Don’t think you’re getting your dick sucked in the morning,” Alex grumbled, rolling over to face the other way.

John waited until Alex had fallen asleep to roll over to face the younger man, lightly placing his arm over Alex’s waist. He pressed a kiss to Alex’s bare shoulder before sighing softly.

“I wish we had what Matt and Zack have,” John murmured.

There, he said it. It was a shame he knew it would never come true.

*

2 weeks later, Alex was feeling a little odd. Like, his head was stuffy and pounding. and he felt a little queasy. Not enough to be sick, but enough to know that he was getting a migraine. Perfect. Just what he needed, especially now with how John was pretty much ignoring him other than to stick his dick in Alex’s ass every night. Alex rolled out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom across the hall, not missing to the fact that John wasn’t next to him in the bad when he’d woken up. He probably wasn’t in the apartment either. He was avoiding Alex before work now too? Just great.

Alex’s headache still hadn’t gone away when he’d gotten dressed, so he dialled Butcher’s cell phone number. He knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on his work if his head was pounding like this. Sisky would be at Butcher’s too. so at least he wouldn’t have to call both of them.

“Hello?” Butcher yawned.

“It’s Alex. I’m not feeling good today, so I’m leaving you and Sisky in charge of the gallery,” Alex announced.

“Are you okay?” Butcher frowned.

“Yeah, just a bad migraine. I’ll be in tomorrow though. I just need the two of you to make sure that portfolio of work from that new artist Sisky found gets sorted through today,” Alex said.

“Michael Guy Chislett? The Australian guy?” Butcher confirmed.

“That’s the one. He said that there would be over 50 photographs of his pieces, but I only want to display 10, so I want the two of you to choose the 10 you think are best, and mark them so I can look at them when I come in,”

“Y-You really trust us with that?” Butcher gasped.

Alex laughed softly.

“I think 4 years of working for me lets me trust your judgement, Butcher. Annotate your thoughts on your decision on post-it notes and stick them to the chosen photographs, and then leave it on my desk. Other than that, just do what you guys do,” Alex told him.

“Thanks, Alex. I’ll call you if there’s a problem,” Butcher promised.

“Alright, see you tomorrow,” Alex smiled.

He ended the call, his smile dropping as his head started pounding again. Fuck, what could he do to calm his head?

Alex ended up going over to Jack’s apartment, where Zack and Rose had joined their younger friend for the day. As soon as Alex walked through the door, he sat down on the sofa next to Zack and groaned.

“Bad morning?” Zack asked.

“Bad migraine,” Alex mumbled, closing his eyes.

Jack and Zack smiled sympathetically.

“I’ve got some Tylenol in the kitchen if you want any?” Jack offered.

Alex nodded, so Jack got up and left them. Alex moaned softly as Zack’s fingers threaded through his hair and massaged his scalp. That felt nice. That soothed his head a little. Jack walked back in with a glass of water and couple of pills and laughed softly, Alex just scowling a little. This migraine was not a joke.

“Here you go, hot stuff,” Jack winked.

“Thanks,” Alex yawned, pouting as Zack dropped his hands.

He took the pills with gulps of water, finishing the water afterwards. Hopefully they would kick in soon.

“So, what’s been going on with you two then?” Alex asked, eager to catch up with his friends.

A couple of hours later, Rose started crying loudly, interrupting their conversation. Zack smiled apologetically and walked into Jack’s guest room, where Jack had set up a crib just for Rose’s visits. Alex and Jack resumed talking while Zack soothed his daughter, smiling as Zack walked back into the room with Rose in his arms.

“Sorry, she doesn’t seem to want to settle down again,” Zack sighed.

“It’s all good, man,” Jack laughed.

As soon as Alex looked at her, he had the sudden urge to hold Rose in his arms.

“Can I hold Rose?” Alex blurted, sitting down next to Zack on the sofa.

Zack chuckled and nodded, handing the baby over. Alex immediately smiled as she rested her head in the crook of his neck, his migraine seeming to ease slightly. Who knew holding a baby could help? He closed his eyes briefly, kissing the top of her small head, before looking up at his friends.

Alex frowned as Jack gave him a strange look. What?

“You’ve never acted like this before with Rose before,” Jack commented, still staring at Alex strangely.

Alex just shrugged. He wanted to hug Rose, so damn it he was going to.

“Are you okay, Lex? What’s wrong?” Zack asked, worried.

“I don’t know. I think I’m having an off day,” Alex said softly, stroking Rose’s soft black hair for comfort.

“Dude, you’re always having an off day,” Jack snickered.

Zack sent him a withering glance, Alex just scowled.

“Is everything okay with you and John?” Zack frowned.

“Well, we’re still fucking so yeah, we’re fine,” Alex said, confused.

Zack sighed, Jack rolling his eyes.

“When will you admit that you’re falling in love with him?” Zack asked wearily.

Alex scowled even more than before, handing Rose roughly back to Zack in a way that made her whimper in protest and crumple her mouth slightly.

“I’m not falling in love with John and I never will! When will you two get that into your thick skulls! We’re just fucking, we mean nothing! Why do you two always have to push for things that don’t fucking exist?!” Alex said angrily, his thoughts just bursting out.

“Hey, that was uncalled for,” Jack frowned, noticing how Zack’s eyes started to water.

“What-the-fuck-ever. I’m out of here,” Alex snapped.

“Alex, wait!”

Alex ignored Zack’s calls as he got up and left the loft apartment, storming down the parking lot to his car. His hands were practically shaking with anger as he started to drive away. Why did they keep spouting all that fucking bullshit about John?! It was never going to be true! Alex was so pissed off right now it wasn’t even funny. He needed a drink. A strong one.

The first bar Alex saw was a seedy-looking bar at the side of the street. Smokey’s. Why did that name ring a bell? Oh, right, John used to go here when he was in college and professed how dirty it was every time he drove past it with Alex. What place better to drown any thought of John in one of the only bars he despised?

Alex knew he didn’t fit in as soon as he walked through the doors. It was only 2pm. The majority of the customers were middle-aged men. But Alex ignored that. He needed to drink, and damn it he was going to.

“A shot of Jack and a Bud Light,” Alex asked the bartender.

The long-haired man raised an eyebrow as the anger in Alex’s eyes, but nodded, starting on the order. He was a good bartender. He knew when to not ask questions.

3 hours later, Alex was steaming drunk, barely supporting his head upright with his elbow on the bar and his hand under his chin. But he was numb, and that was what he needed. Whisky and beer. Who fucking needs John O-fucking-Callaghan anyway?

Alex had the sudden epiphany to call John and tell him exactly that. Who said drunk dialling was a stupid idea? Alex shakily pulled out his phone, staring at the blurry screen until it cleared up enough for him to press number 4 speed dial for John’s cell phone number. Alex drained the last of his beer as it went to voicemail. Huh. Oh well, he’d leave a message.

“Joooohn. John Ohh. I’m calling you to let you know that I don’t need you anymore. I’ve realised that we mean nothing and that I was stupid for even fooling myself. You’re just a fuck! A very good fuck, I’ll give you that, but you mean nothing more to me than that! Zero. Zilch. Nada. Zack and Jack know nothing. Rose is a cute baby, did you know that?” Alex slurred.

Alex flinched as the bartender yelled ‘$1 a shot for the next 15 minutes!’, before carrying on.

“Whaaat I’m saying is, it was fun fucking you, but I’m not going to be fucking you anymore. I don’t need your beautifully thick dick. I can get laid wherever I want, and seeing as that’s the only reason I’ve been waking up at yours, I don’t need you anymore. Fuck, I can definitely get laid tonight so I don’t even have to worry about it! Goodbye, O’Callaghan. I won’t miss you,”

Alex ended the call with a lazy smile. There. That was that taken care of. Now, who could he find to take care of him?

*

John sunk down into his office chair, tilting his head back to ease the neck pain. He’d spent the last 6 hours going over another therapist’s files because she was having a few troubles with her clients, and then having to oversee a particularly difficult client’s appointment. He was exhausted. All he wanted now was to go back home and fuck Alex until they both passed out. Yeah, that sounded like a good evening. John pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and turned it on. He never had his cell phone on if he was dealing with other people’s clients.

When he saw he had a missed call from Alex, he frowned. Alex was meant to be working all day – why did he call?

What he heard when he listened to the voice mail was the last thing he expected.

“Joooohn. John Ohh. I’m calling you to let you know that I don’t need you anymore. I’ve realised that we mean nothing and that I was stupid for even fooling myself. You’re just a fuck! A very good fuck, I’ll give you that, but you mean nothing more to me than that! Zack and Jack know nothing. Rose is a cute baby, did you know that?”

Alex paused.

“Whaaat I’m saying is, it was fun fucking you, but I’m not going to be fucking you anymore. I don’t need your beautifully thick dick. I can get laid wherever I want, and seeing as that’s the only reason I’ve been waking up at yours, I don’t need you anymore. Fuck, I can definitely get laid tonight so I don’t even have to worry about it! Goodbye, O’Callaghan. I won’t miss you,”

John’s jaw dropped as the call ended. What the FUCK?! He tried calling Alex, but Alex didn’t pick up. What the fuck was going on? What the fuck provoked this? John listened to the message again. Zack and Jack know nothing. Fuck, what did they say to cause this?!

He had to find Alex. He had to find Alex before he did anything stupid, especially if it involved sleeping with some random guy, and hearing how drunk Alex was definitely made that a possibility.

John listened to the voicemail again. He frowned as he heard something in the background as Alex paused in the middle of the message. Was that? Was that someone shouting? He turned the volume up as loud as he could before putting the message on speaker phone.

‘$1 a shot for the next 15 minutes!’

There was only one bar that did this at 5pm on a Thursday. Alex was at Smokey’s. It was now 6pm. Alex could still be there. John grabbed his coat, keys, phone and bags before leaving his office, quickly locking it behind him before leaving the building for the parking lot behind it. He was going to find Alex and put at stop to this stupidity. It was time Alex learned just how serious John could be.

It took John 20 minutes to get to Smokey’s, thanks to the rush hour traffic. John was practically shaking with anger by the time he parked his car and stormed inside. A few people turned to look at him, but he didn’t care. John glanced at the bartender, who took one look at John’s enraged form before pointing in the back left corner of the bar. John nodded his thanks before narrowing his eyes. Fuck, Alex really must be drunk.

John spotted Alex on his walk over, hanging off the arm of a guy with slicked-back hair, a beer gut and a handlebar moustache. What the fuck, Alex?! A moustache?! The man’s eyes widened as John stormed over and tore Alex off of him, Alex making half-grunt protests. Fuck, Alex was worse than he thought.

“Keep your disgusting hands off of my boyfriend, do you hear me?” John growled, holding Alex behind him.

“Sorry, man, I didn’t know. He came onto me,” Handlebar defended.

John just scowled and walked away, pulling Alex behind him. Alex whimpered and whined in his grasp until they left the bar, and until John pushed Alex up against the side of his Audi.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” John hissed.

“I wanted to have some fun. Why the fuck do you care?” Alex slurred in retort.

“Why do I care? Are you serious?” John said incredulously.

“Yeah, it’s not like we’re together, we’re just fuck buddies,” Alex shrugged.

“No we’re not,” John spat.

“Yes we are,” Alex frowned.

“No we’re not! You are mine!” John said angrily

“N-no I’m not, I’m…”

“Yes you are,” John interrupted fiercely.

Even as drunk as he was, Alex could sense the anger and fire in John’s voice.

“I’m sick of pussy-footing around. I’m sick of pretending that our sex means nothing. I’m sick of seeing you pretending it too. I’m sick of both of us pretending that we don’t care about each other. YOU ARE MINE,” John yelled.

With that, John slammed his lips to Alex’s, earning a loud moan from the younger man. John immediately starting kissing him ferociously, unrelenting and hungry, angry and passionate, pouring all these emotions through his lips. Alex’s hands clutched at John’s waist, fisting his shirt with his hands, John’s hips moving in slow dirty grinds against his. John kissed him to prove to Alex that he was right. Alex believed him.

Alex almost whined in protest as John broke the kiss, but moaned instead as John’s lips trailed a series of hot, open-mouthed kisses along his jaw, sucking and nipping his earlobe before giving the same treatment to his neck. John knew Alex was getting aroused by this territorial act, which only encouraged him to continue.

It was when John sunk his teeth into Alex’s neck, drawing blood, that he stopped.

“You are mine,” John said firmly, his voice low and husky.

“I’m yours,” Alex nodded, a little breathless.

John grinned and pressed his lips firmly to Alex’s again, only for Alex to push him away slightly. What now?!

“Take me back to yours and fuck me,” Alex demanded, his mind swirling with the buzz of pain and pleasure from the bite wound in his neck.

“Make love,” John corrected.

Alex’s eyes widened slightly, but he laughed to cover his surprise.

“Whatever gets your dick inside me, sweetheart,” Alex smirked.

*

A week had passed since the incident in the bar. They hadn’t really announced their official status to anyone, but they didn’t have to. Holding hands in public and actually smiling at each other did that job for them. Alex had to admit it was strange actually being nice to John. Sure, they still argued like hell most of the time, but those brief moments in between were even better than before. Especially since Alex could snuggle after sex without getting mocked. TV was one thing, but sex was another.

John just thought that Alex and Alex’s dick were the best thing that had ever happened to him. He now had the excuse to glare at all the guys that went into the art gallery just to hit on Alex, just as he had the excuse to mark Alex’s body as his own with lovebites. Sure, these lovebites led to extremely angry sex because Alex hated the marks, but it meant that John got what he wanted, right? The world knew that Alex was his, and that’s how he wanted it to stay.

“Alex? Are you home?”

“Door’s unlocked!” Alex called.

Zack frowned but walked into the apartment, finding Alex’s words to be true.

“Where are you?” Zack called again.

The sound of Alex throwing up gave Zack the answer he needed. Shit. Zack hitched Rose higher on his waist before walking down the hall to the bathroom. Sure enough, Alex was in there, hunched over the toilet.

“I was just gonna say that if you weren’t busy Rose and I could hang out with you today because Matt’s now back at work filling in the extra hours he’s taking off for our wedding and honeymoon, but shit, are you okay?” Zack grimaced.

“Just fucking peachy,” Alex grumbled, standing up.

Zack rubbed Alex’s back as he brushed his teeth to get rid of any trace of sick.

“Uh, I hate this throwing up fuckery,” Alex muttered, spitting out the last of his toothpaste as he washed the toothbrush.

“How long have you been sick?” Zack asked softly, confused.

“A few days, but this is the worst I’ve ever been sick,” Alex groaned, rinsing the remainder of the vomit from his mouth with strong-mint mouthwash.

Zack fell silent as Alex wiped his mouth with a hand towel, a silence that Alex didn’t like. It looked like Zack was thinking. Hard. Eventually Zack looked back at him, his eyes curious.

“Lex, have you and John not used protection sometimes?” Zack asked.

“We might have run out of condoms a couple of times but he always pulled out!” Alex defended.

Zack looked at him incredulously. What?

“Dude, pre-come has sperm in,” Zack told him.

Alex’s blood ran cold.

“Shit,” Alex whimpered.

No. He couldn’t be. There was no way he could be pregnant. No fucking way.

“Look after Rose and I’ll pop to the store to get a few tests,” Zack told him.

“What? No I’ll be fine,” Alex scoffed.

“Seriously Alex you were just throwing up, and have been for a few days. It’s a precaution,” Zack frowned.

All he could see was the concern in Zack’s eyes, and he crumbled.

“Fine,” Alex grunted.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Zack beamed.

Alex flinched slightly as Zack handed Rose to him and left the apartment. Alex smiled hesitantly at the 6 month old baby as she smiled toothlessly at him, a little drool trailing down the side of her mouth. Oh great. That would mean she’d be teething soon. One of the things Alex could have to look forward to.

“So, uh, hi,” Alex said awkwardly.

“Ba ba ba!” Rose gurgled, clutching his t-shirt tightly in his hands.

Alex couldn’t help but smile slightly, and laid down on his bed, moving Rose so she was sitting upright on his chest.

“So…I could have one of you growing inside me, huh? Would you like a friend, Rose?” Alex asked softly.

“Ba!” Rose shrieked happily.

He took that as a yes. Great.

“I’m gonna trust you now, okay? You can’t go telling anyone what I’m about to say,” Alex said.

The seriousness of his tone surprised him. Rose just smiled.

“I don’t know if I’d be a good father, Rosey Posey. I can barely look after myself sometimes, y’know? I can get so lost in my work, sometimes not even eating for days, and I know that wouldn’t be good for a baby. And I know you’re okay with me but every single other baby I’ve ever met hates me. Jack’s the one that’s good with babies, not me. I don’t want to be pregnant. I know it would be John’s because I haven’t slept…uh, been with anyone in so long, but that just freaks me out even more. We’ve only just got on good terms, Rose. John won’t want a baby with me. What do I do? I’m scared,” Alex said softly.

Alex didn’t know if Rose could understand or pick up emotions yet, but she leant forward with what-looked-like serious eyes and pressed a hand flat to Alex’s cheek, as if to reassure him. Alex choked a sob and placed his hand on top of hers, Rose smiling at the action.

“Ba ba ba!” Rose said indignantly.

Alex laughed weakly, blinking away the tears in his eyes.

“I guess you’re right, Rose. Everything will be okay,” Alex smiled.

“Ba!” Rose agreed.

Half an hour later, Alex heard the front door of the apartment open and close. Zack must’ve taken his house keys.

“Sexy Lexy! I’m back!” Zack called.

Alex sighed as Zack walked into the bedroom, where Alex was still lying on his bed with Rose, although Rose had fallen asleep and was curled up on Alex’s chest. He couldn’t deny that it felt right to have her fall asleep on him, and that scared him a little. Zack just smiled warmly.

“If you didn’t have to go and pee right now, I’d take a picture before leaving you two alone! So cute!” Zack squealed.

“Just take your daughter so I can get this over with,” Alex grumbled.

Zack giggled and carefully scooped Rose into his arms, making sure she didn’t wake up. He then handed Alex a plastic bag.

“There’s three. Pee on all of them,” Zack told him.

Alex just grimaced and walked across the hall into the bathroom. He emptied the contents of the bag into the sink, staring down at them briefly before staring at his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t want to be pregnant. Pregnancy fat would not do his perfect cheekbones justice.

“I can’t hear any peeing!” Zack hissed from the other side of the door.

“Go and watch TV, creep!” Alex hissed back.

Once he was sure Zack had walked away, Alex got the three sticks out of their packaging. 30 seconds later, he walked back into his bedroom.

“Done?” Zack asked, gently stroking Rose’s soft black hair.

“Done,” Alex grunted, sitting down next to his best friend.

“Now we just have to wait 5 minutes to find out your future,” Zack grinned.

If death glares could kill, Zack would be a goner.

5 minutes passed with Zack trying to reassure Alex that his life was not over, Zack only stopping his ramble when they walked into the bathroom. Alex looked down at the sticks and stepped backwards, so Zack looked too.

3 plus signs. Pregnant.

Zack turned to look at Alex only to see him pale and shaking on the edge of the bath.

“At least you know now,” Zack offered.

“Mm,” Alex mumbled.

This really wasn’t how he planned his life to go. Especially not with John.

“Well, you know what you should do. Don’t leave it so long to tell John like I did to tell Matt,” Zack said softly.

“Yeah,” Alex sighed, staring down at the plastic sticks again.

When John got home from work a fair few hours later, Alex was sitting in the living area of John’s apartment, reading a local newspaper. John frowned a little at how still, how silent everything seemed, and how it felt like something was wrong. Alex smiled weakly at him as John walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Why is the apartment so quiet, Lex? You normally have music on at least, if not the TV,” John frowned.

Alex sighed. He might as well get this over and done with.

“I, uh, have something to show you,” Alex mumbled.

John’s face clouded with confusion, but he nodded and sat down next to his boyfriend. Alex swallowed heavily before pulling the pregnancy tests out of where he was hiding them in the newspaper and passed them to John. John’s eyes widened dramatically.

“Congratulations. You’re going to be a father,” Alex muttered.

“Well, fuck,”