Perfect As In Pain

I picked my head up slowly from the open sink, now faced with the mirror. Tears streamed their way down my porcelain face, my long black hair tangled together as it rested in front of my eyes. I took in a breath, hearing the rain as it pounded the windows of my apartment. I hate being alone. 

I force myself back down to have my eye contact on the sink. Time to puke again. I opened my mouth wide as I felt the puke coming up. I heaved as the food I'd eaten had turned into vomit as it traced its way into the sink and down the drain.

 I glanced up again at my reflection. Spitting image of my father. I raised my fist, and punched the mirror, feeling the sharp glass pierce through my white skin. Then I saw the blood that trickled down my hand. I instinctively found a dishrag as I wiped the blood from my hand. I gritted my teeth, feeling the tears come. I hated crying, I really did.  

The rain pounded against the windows again as I ceased my flowing tears, wiping them with the bloody dishrag. Shaking a sigh, I adverted my eyes to my bear claw tattoo, in memory of my Pa Pa. I miss you Pa Pa.  Forgetting the thought,  I glanced at the scars. They covered my wrists, but the new ones didn't hurt. 

As I wandered away from the bathroom, I passed old pictures, Escape the Fate. I coiled my fingers around one, a one of Ronnie and me. i miss him so much. I just wish he'd stop trashing my former band. I left Escape the Fate a while ago and became severely depressed. 

I re-traced my steps back to the bathroom. My pills. I took out the clear orange plastic circular bottle, twisted the cap and two by two, I sent the pills into my mouth. After I slammed the empty bottle down, I felt dizzy. Maybe I was going to go lie do-

I collapsed beneath the floor, rocking back and forth in fetal position. After a few minutes, I spread my body out, but felt my eyes shut.

This was it. This was the end.