Do You Believe in Miracles? Well...I Do

Confused and still full of questions in my mind, I sit here by the window alone, my tears starts to flood my eyes as the rain outside begin to fall. I can’t imagine why a cheerful girl like me would end up to be a girl scared of what tomorrow brings.
I am only 13 years old. I was healthy, a basketball player, an active student of my school. But what happened to me? Until now, I can’t figure out how things started…
“Hey, Donna Rae, how are you? Long time no see girl” Ronnie said as I was about to go out from the comfort room’s cubicle.
“I’m fine, I guess, busy a lot” I replied quickly, while covering my nose so I won’t smell the cigarette she is puffing.
“Busy a lot?” she asked.
I nodded.
“you should come with us tonight, I think you need to have some fun sometimes” she said.
“ahmm.. I think not, my mom would be angry if I go home late” I replied
“Don’t be such a spaz. You’re not a baby anymore, c’mon everyone will be there.” She again insisted.
I thought for a while, would a little fun harm me? I asked myself. And immediately I said “ok. Then, I’m coming.
She smiled “ see you then 6pm, Jessica’s house” she told me as she stepped on the cigarette butt.

I was nervous as I stood in front of Jessica’s house. Ronnie told me everyone would be there but no noise was heard inside the house, the door opened. Chloe stood looking at me and shouted at me
“What the heck are you doing there! Come on!”
I was terrified, so I followed her inside, as the door closed behind me, I can smell an unfamiliar odor to me, as I walk down the stairs, Chloe following me, I heard laughter and glasses breaking, I began to be scared, but I don’t want to show it. They see me as a brave girl.
“Hey! Donna, you are here at last” it was Ronnie, she seems a little weird to me, her eyes were red as if she had been crying all day, she was holding a small glass full of liquid which I think is liquor.
I walked down the last step of the stairs, now I can see the whole place, there were 6 people, Ronnie, Jessica, Chloe and their boyfriends.
“Where is everyone else?” I asked Ronnie.
“Here is everyone else” she replied smiling while pointing to the five sitting together around a table.
They waved and smiled, I smiled too feeling a little scared and confused. Ronnie held my hand and made me sit down. She gave me a glass, poured liquor in it and said “Drink!”
“sorry, I don’t drink” I said while giving her back the glass, they laughed at me and Jessica said “ So, what are you gonna do here? Watch cartoons?” and again they laughed, I was embarrassed.
I held the small glass firmly in my hands and closed my eyes to drink the liquor; I felt the bitter, hot liquid going down my throat. I coughed, they laughed again.
I looked at Ronnie, as if my eyes pleading for help, she smiled and said “go on, it’s just for the first drink”
I nodded and drank up, it was good, I thought to myself. Though my conscience was working, I was thought in church not to drink liquor nor smoke cigarette but what am I doing? Ronnie poured liquor on my glass again and I was commanded to drink.
I drank it up as I said to myself. God will not know, nobody will know. It’s okay.
I felt a little dizzy, Ronnie offered me a cigarette. Feeling brave, I got it, they lighted it and I placed it in between my lips, they were all staring at me. “that is not a ballpen! Follow what I do!” Jessica said rolling her eyes.
I felt my cheeks getting red again from embarrassment. I followed what she did, I coughed!
They laughed! “bring it out too.” Jessica’s boyfriend told me laughing. I laughed. I puffed. And puffed and puffed. It was great. I felt I was cool. I drank with them and smoked with them.
We laughed, we told stories, I felt safe, I felt my problems were gone, I felt my mind was clear from things. Until I felt so dizzy and everything was black.
I opened my eyes to unfamiliar surroundings, I reached for my bag but I can’t move. My head hurts “that’s fine, it is called hang over” Ronnie’s voice sounded comforting.
“ I need to call my mom, she would be so worried by now” I said
“I took care of that, I called her last night, and told her you would be sleeping with me because we are doing our project she said ok, “Ronnie said
“and oh. Borrow some of my clothes, return it on Monday, you would not want to get caught!” she winked at me and went to the kitchen.
“Thanks!” I shouted for her to hear. I went to the bathroom and took a bath in spite of the headache I am having. I dressed and went home.
My mom was there watering the plants, my dad gone to work “ how’s the project?” she asked.
I didn’t know what to say, I was so nervous. I was scared of my mom. “its so hard, we were up the whole night, I did not even slept.” I reasoned out.
She looked at me and said with a caring voice” oh. So get some rest, food is in the table eat first” I went inside the house nervously and immediately went to my room, I did not eat, I slept.
I was awaken by a knock on my door.” Were off to church, are you ready?” it was my father’s voice. I realized. I slept the whole day and today is Sunday, I don’t want to go to church I said in my mind. I did not reply and closed my eyes.
After a while another knock was heard. “ Donna. Come on. Let’s go.”
“I have to go to my classmate’s house today for our project, I’m sorry I can’t come.” I said.
After some words they left for church, leaving money for me. I got up, took a bath and went out to the store to buy food, on my way I smelled the cigarette the men were puffing. My mouth watered. I was craving for cigarette.
I preceded to the store and bought my first pack of cigarette. From then on, I spent all my allowance to cigarettes and liquor, I was so addicted, my school was sacrificed, my grades started to go down, I began to skip classes and be absent, I go home late and sometimes I won’t even talk anymore with my parents. Cigarettes and liquor were my treasures.
I forgot about church, I forgot about the things taught to me, I forgot to pray, I forgot my singing ministry in church, I forgot to be good, I forgot to be a Christian.
One day I was about to go to school, I was asking my allowance from my mom, when suddenly I felt dizzy and everything was black again.
The only thing I heard before falling down the floor was my mom screaming my name, as I awoke, a felt a hand holding my hand, I opened my eyes. “Ma?” I asked
“thank God, how are you?” she asked.
“I’m a little dizzy, I guess, I’m just tired” I said.
“Rest, Donna, I just informed your teachers that you will not be able to go to school today” I smiled and slept.
The next 3 days I still felt the same so I was not able to go to school.
I awoke so early today and it is already Friday, I haven’t gone to school from Monday to Thursday. I am feeling well now. So I awoke though I was a little dizzy, I took a bath and prepared to go to school. Mom won’t let me go but after some arguments she allowed me. I walked down the road, took the bus and arrived right in time for flag ceremony.
As we were singing the National Anthem I fell to the ground, and the next thing I know. I was in a room. All around me was white.
I started to cry, I’m dead, I told myself. I was scared.
Then I heard a voice familiar to my ears.
My mom! I cried bitterly. “what happened?” I asked her. She just held my hand and sobbed.
My dad was there too, standing by the door, holding his head, and brushing his hand through his hair, he is sad I can tell.
“dad? What happened?” I asked beginning to get worried and scared.
Did my head got stitches, I felt my head, my head was fine, except for the pain from I guess was headache.
I examined myself, I am fine, I said to myself but why are they crying? I began to get confused. The door opened, doctors came in. checked my pulse rate, my temperature and injected medicine in my veins that made me cry out loud. It was so painful.
I was again unconscious and when I woke up, I could not move my hands and as I look at them they were full of needles. I looked up to see three colorful bags, I recognized one as a dextrox, another a medicine and I guess the other one is medicine too.
I was so scared, my mom entered the room with a doctor, the doctor pricked my finger, and took my blood. I cried. I stayed in the hospital confused.
It was again afternoon, I was just about to eat when the doctor came again and pricked my finger. Blood! Blood! Blood! The next day. The doctors came and beckoned my mom and dad by the side, they were talking and I know they were talking about me.
Then my mom cried, I cried too. Not knowing why. My mom came to me, as my dad left with the doctor. “what was that?” I asked.
She inhaled, and I guess she was getting courage to tell me something
“Donna” she began
“I know you have noticed, they made 3 blood tests to you to make sure about one thing, and now, now, the blood! The blood!” she sobbed
“you’ve got leukemia!” she cried so hard.
I was paralyzed, what? I said as I cried.
How can it happen? Why? Am I dying? When? What will happen to me? Why did God allow me to have leukemia? I thought God was good? I asked mom crying,
I was confused, angry and scared, I am dying, I am dying, all because of my blood! My blood! God don’t care for me anymore. I hate life, I hate to see my mom and dad sad. I hate the doctors for finding out, I hated everyone.
Still questions were in my mind. I hate my life and I hate my blood!
The next days, I told myself, I have nothing to be happy about, I have no hope. I am dying, I was thinking about my school, my family, my friends. From that thought, I cried.
Then the door opened, more visitors I guess. I looked up and saw my pastor and church elders, they asked me how was I , I said nothing I just stared at them, and at the back of my mind I said, “okay, pray for me so I would go to heaven, in fact I’m dying” I did have so little faith on being healed although I closed my eyes and they prayed for me. I was crying.
They left and later that day the doctors brought me to a room, and made me lie on my back, I saw a doctor holding a very big injection, 5 times bigger that a regular injection, and the needle was about 10 inches, I cried, I cried and I was scared. My mom was there. She was not crying, she was praying, bone marrow. I heard.
The injection was set, I felt that they injected me with anesthesia in my back. And told me that this testing would be done to make sure that I really have leukemia. The needle started to go into my bones. I can feel it, it was painful, the anesthesia don’t work for bones. I muttered. I cried. I shouted. I saw my own blood! Blood! It was finished.
They made me rest for an hour and they carried me to the wheelchair, a nurse pushed me down the corroder, my mom remained in that room. I said to the nurse “ bring me to the side of the window pls.”
…”Donna!” my mom’s voice. I was back to reality, it was already dark, the rain have already stopped. It was cold. I began to shiver, I cried, I’m dying.
“come on, time for you to rest” she said as she pushed my wheelchair away from the window
“I don’t need to rest ma, in fact, in a short time, I will be resting forever” I laughed.
She said nothing but smiled. It was the first time I saw her smile again. I kept quiet.
The next day, the doctors came into the room I was very nervous, I knew they would tell me about my test being positive and I would die in a short time. And also I know they will tell me to enjoy the rest of my life.
A doctor spake.
“ I know it is really impossible,” my mom smiled. My dad laughed. “Donna, it’s negative” my mom hugged my dad
A miracle I said in my mind. They told me 3 positive results and now a negative result. I cried.
I thought for a while, God did not abandon me, He was there for me. He never left me. I was so out of words. And as I look around me, I felt sleepy, and after a while I closed my eyes and smiled with tears in my eyes and in my mind was the word miracle