To Be Wild and Precious

Forty-three blocks.

It took Beth almost two whole hours to trudge all the way to Rose’s house. All thirty-four blocks. She spent the entire length of the journey thinking and crying and wondering, but mostly breaking down in tears. At one point, she had to stop and sit on a curb to collect herself.

Beth just couldn’t understand any of it. Why would her parents make her leave like this? It just wasn’t fair. She had so much going for her here in Kenton. What would she do in a new town, a new state? She’d go to a new school, get some new friends if she’s lucky, and then what? Even if she aced all her classes she already would have lost her ranking of 5th in the class. All that hard work over the last three years would be tossed in the trash.

As she got up from the curb and kept pushing forward towards the Rose’s house, she was hoping that her hung-over friend would help her get through this all. Maybe Rose would even be more understanding and get her to see a bit more from her parents’ perspective. That was unlikely though because Beth was furious. Nothing could get her to see through her parents’ eyes.

She finally arrived, after a long trip of ups and downs, and rang the doorbell. No answer. Beth checked her phone and saw that it was around the time that Rose’s parents went to Church, so that meant they wouldn’t be home. Speaking of which, Beth felt like a sinner for not going to Mass that morning, but maybe God would forgive her this time. She wasn’t in the proper state of mind to go to Church anyway. How was she supposed to just sit there amongst everyone knowing that she wasn’t going to be there in two weeks? She just couldn’t. She couldn’t even think straight at that moment.

She pressed the button repeated three times. Beth then shoved her hands into her jean pockets and waited. She felt like crying, just standing out there on the front porch with no friend beside her for comfort and picturing being in a new house soon with absolutely no one she knows around her, absolutely no one to hold her hand when she walks into a new high school. She’s never had to go through that. She’s always had Valerie and Rose by her side. She needs them. But she’d never admit that to them. At least, not to their faces.

Impatience got the best of her and she rang the bell two more times. The door suddenly opened and a bleary-eyed Rose appeared in the threshold.

She looked at Beth and whined, “Why must you ring the bell so many times? It is so loud! My head is killing me.”

“Well, then, maybe you shouldn’t have had so much to drink last night and that wouldn’t be a problem, now would it?” Beth was antsy to get inside and envelop herself in the security of Rose’s comforter.

“Ouch. What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I just – “ Beth sighed. “Can I come in?” She crossed her arms and was shuffling from one foot to the other, fighting back the oncoming tears.

Rose seemed to consider it, still processing whether or not Beth was angry with her. But she ultimately pushed the door aside and moved to let Beth pass. “Yeah, come on in.”

Beth pushed passed the frame and then stood awkwardly in the hallway, something she had never been in the Davenport household. Rose closed the door and asked, “So I assume you got my text, huh?”

“What? Your text?” Beth had completely forgotten about the text that Rose had sent her earlier that morning.

“I know.” Rose was ringing her hands. “I didn’t want to sound so urgent and I didn’t mean to have you come over here after just leaving you last night, but I just –“She looked into her hands as she tried to formulate the right words. “I just really need you right now, Beth.” Her eyes were filled with such sadness and Bethany realized that her eyes were red from tears not from being hung-over.

Beth nodded. “Of course.” She made her best efforts in giving Rose a reassuring nod as Beth tried to push aside the thoughts of her own troubles. “I’m here for you for whatever you need.”

Rose smiled through the tears that were beginning to form at the edges of her eyes. “Thank you so much, Beth. You’re such a great friend.” She wrapped her in a great hug. She held her at arm’s length away from herself, looking into Beth’s eyes, and smiled. “I don’t know what I’ll ever do without you.”

Oh, you’re going to have to figure that one out pretty soon, Beth thought.

“Come on. I have to tell you everything.” Rose took Beth by the hand and began leading her up the stairs to her room.

They passed the picture frames on the wall that encased all of the greatest family memories. There were the stereotypical group photos where everyone wears the same color, orange in this case, and they all smile too widely. Beth remembered the day that that picture was taken; Rose was complaining nonstop that the color made her face washout, but she went through with it anyway just for family. She didn’t want to let them down. As they passed, Beth tried to take in all of their faces: Rose, Rose’s dad and mom, her little brother. They all looked so happy together. They were taking that horrendous picture for each other, because they love one another.

Four more steps. And there’s one of Rose’s parents, picture perfect. They’re flawless human beings, beautiful and breathtakingly gorgeous. Undoubtedly, all of their posterity will be just as show-stopping. Rose, for one, has already met that standard. Jackson, on the other hand, is still in his awkward boyhood years. Maybe he’ll be beautiful too, though. He just has to grow into it.

They made it to the landing on the top of the stairs and crossed hallway into Rose’s doorframe. She closed the door behind Beth. “My parents aren’t home, but just in case they come in while we’re talking and they decide to listen in. You know how nosy parents can be.”

“Yeah, I do.” Beth nodded as she sat down awkwardly on the bed as if she had never done it before it her life.

Rose turned from the door and shuffled over to the bed. She settled down across from Beth, sitting Indian-style. She watched her friend in front of her and waited for her to make the first move. Beth took the hint after a minute of slightly awkward silence.
“So, how was the party last night?”

Rose didn’t answer. Instead she reached behind her and took hold of her pillow, wrestling it into her lap. The awkward silence persisted.

“I guess that means it didn’t go as expected with Bryce.”

“That’s an understatement.” She stroked the edge of the pillow case, smoothing out the creases in it.

“Oh. Um…so he didn’t feel the same way as you did?” She was hoping Rose would just throw her a bone already.

“Ha! That insensitive jerk doesn’t know what it means to “feel” beyond that of the inside of someone’s pants.” Rose had the pillow clenched in her fists.

“Ouch. So…” Beth tried to think about how she should handle a situation like this. She didn’t do relationships. She didn’t know what you were supposed to say when this happened to someone. ”Does that mean it’s officially over between you two?”

“Bethany, it never was officially started between us two. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wasn’t thinking, I guess, because I got everything all wrong. All those signals he was sending me, all those ‘Hey, baby’s. Yeah. Those aren’t come-ons to him. Apparently he wasn’t even into me in the least bit. Apparently, when you make out with a girl in the broom closet every other day during Arts and Crafts, that means absolutely nothing. Nothing to him! I almost gave myself to him, did you know that? Ugh, we were so close, too?” She stopped dead in her tracks. “OH MY GOSH.”

“What? What happened?”

“I am a slut. Oh my gosh! That’s what I am. A complete and total slut. How could I practically give myself to him? I barely knew him. And he was such a scumbag. I mean, a broom closet? That’s where I expected to give it up to him? Not even on the playroom rug? What have I succumbed to?”

Beth had to inwardly giggle at the utter look of disgust on Rose’s face. At the same time, though, she did feel a great deal of sympathy for her friend. It’s not really her fault that she fell victim to the throes of the four-letter monster.

“Rose, you are most definitely not a slut.” Beth reassured her.

“You only say that.” Rose lashed at her with her words. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see what I did last night. It was terrible. Last night was just terrible.” She hid her face in her hands.

“I bet it wasn’t as bad as you think.” Beth reached for Rose’s arm to give her a reassuring touch. “I mean, you had a lot to drink maybe you just don’t remember it all too well.” Rose pushed her away.

“No! I remember it just fine. I drank after it happened I remember what I did. I remember!” She was crying tears of frustration, anger, regret, sorrow. “I just – I remember leaving you and Val last night to go find Bryce. After a few minutes I spot him, but he’s with another girl. He was all over her, kissing her and feeling her up.” She put her head in her hands, disgusted by the memory. After composing herself, she continued, “Well, I pushed his shoulder so that he kinda moved away from the girl. I said ‘Bryce, what’s going on?’ and he told me plain and simple that he was making out with another girl. I then asked him if we could talk alone together and he was being a pompous ass and said that anything I said could be said in front of his girl and his boys. – Ugh. His boys. Why were they even standing around him anyway? Watching him make out with this girl? That’s just gross. Whatever. – Anyway, I told him that I wanted to talk about us and he started to laugh. I got pissy because, like, why was he laughing in my face? I told him that something was definitely going on between us and that I think we need to acknowledge it. – now this asshole told me that there was nothing, absolutely nothing going on between us.

“it was the worst feeling in the world, Beth. Being told that you’re worthless to someone. Especially someone that you had really cared for. Now that truly sucks. And it her even more when I blurted out the big l-word.”

“No! You didn’t!” Beth cried in disbelief.

“I did. I don’t know why though. I was just in the moment and you guys had said to let him know how I felt, so I did. And he laughed in my face, told me I had sissy feelings. ‘Making-out means nothing. You were just my play-thing during the day, doll.’ Ugh! It was so disgusting. So – please don’t judge me. I told him that if he didn’t care so much he wouldn’t mind if we went our separate ways. He agreed. So I went after his best friend. You know, Liam Nash?”

Beth gasped. She couldn’t believe that this story was apparently going from bad to worse.

Rose noticed Beth’s reaction, but she took it as a response to Liam’s sheer beauty.

“Yeah, he’s totally hot, right? Well, I grabbed him by the shirt collar and started making out with him. There’s nothing like taking out a guy’s best friend to exact your sweet revenge. Only it wasn’t that sweet because after like seven minutes of hooking up, Bryce pulled Liam away from me and started cursing him out, saying stuff about how he’s a terrible best friend and something about sloppy seconds, which honestly isn’t even accurate because Bryce didn’t even get firsts with me. But yeah, then he turned to me and said – this is exactly what he said, ‘You can go fuck yourself, whore.’ I slapped him as hard as I could and then got as drunk as I could possibly manage.”

“Not as drunk as Val.” Beth commented.

“Indeed. Not as drunk as Val.” Rose sighed. “Do you think I’m a terrible person?”

Beth had to contemplate this one. Was she terrible for confessing her love for a guy she barely knew, or for trying to cruelly exact her revenge on him? Was she terrible for acting the way she did? Terrible for washing away her troubles with a couple of Smirnoff’s? Was she terrible for stealing Beth’s only potential boyfriend without even knowing it?

No.

Rose was not a terrible person. And Beth let her know. “Rose, you did what you thought was right at the time. I’m not saying that your morally compass is pointing due north, but you sure as hell listened to it, and that’s what counts. Of course that isn’t what counts if exacting your revenge on an asshole of a kinda-sorta boyfriend involves killing him and cutting off his genitalia to hold in a display of victorious dumpings. Because then, that is when you would be considered a terrible person. Murder equals bad.”

Rose giggled. “Got it. I won’t be castrating any of my exes any time soon.”

“That’s good to hear.” Beth smiled.

They let the happiness sit in the air for a few moments.

“Beth, I have to apologize again for what happened last night. I mean, I really, really sorry that I got all tipsy on you. And Val, too. I apologize on her behalf also. It was your first party and we were being selfish. Do you forgive me?”

Rose was giving her the saddest little-puppy-dog eyes. How could she say no to that? “Of course I forgive you, Rose. But don’t you ever pull that on me again. Ever.”

“Cross my heart.” And that she did.

“Good.”

“So how was your first high-level party? Meet anyone interesting?” Rose prodded.

“Um…not really.”

“Oh, come on. There had to have been someone. How can a girl like you not get hit on? I mean, you’re pretty, you’re smart.” She flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulders. “You’re me, just…smart.” She flashed Beth a brilliant smile. Beth could never compare with the beauty that is Rose. She couldn’t even try. So that’s why Liam confuses her. Why does he have a great time with Rose and then act like absolutely nothing monumental had happened? Why would he then go on to tell Beth how she’s special and ask her out on a date when he could clearly just have Rose?

Why settle for yucky bread crusts when you could have nectar from the gods?

As if on cue, Beth’s phone started to ring. She looked at the screen and, much to her dismay, it read, ‘Liam Nash.’ Should she answer it? Should she even let Rose know that she’s supposed to have a date with him late that day?

Beth has her finger poised over the reject button, when Rose says, “Answer it. I don’t mind.”

“You sure?” Beth tried to use a bit of reverse psychology.

“Oh not at all.” It didn’t work obviously. “Hurry before whoever it is hangs up.”

Beth listens to her and presses the little, green button. “Hello?”

“Hey, Beth. What’s up?” Liam’s silky smooth voice oozed through the phone line.

Beth couldn’t help but smile like a bumbling idiot. “Nothing much. You?”

“I’m doing alright. So…um…listen. I was wondering, I mean, I know that it’s only 2:30 so I understand, but I was in the neighborhood so I was wondering if you wanted to start that date a little earlier. We’d get to spend more time together, you know? Sound good?” His sexiness hung in the air.

Beth would love nothing more than that, but too bad she’s been comforting her broken-hearted friend. “I’m not at home right now, actually. But I should be back around four. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no. I understand.” He sounded a bit dejected. “I just was wondering, you know? No big deal. Just thought maybe we could plan some more stuff if we had a couple more hours, but, you know? Whatever.”

“What kind of stuff did you have in mind?” Beth was curious how romantic this guy really was.
Rose was mouthing very exaggeratedly to Beth, “Do you have a date?” she was getting all excited over the prospect of Beth having someone to spend the day with. Beth just ignored her friend’s efforts.

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe we could’ve gone to a picnic or something. It would’ve been nice, wouldn’t it?”

“That does sound nice. But actually I think –“

He interrupted her as he went on. “And maybe we could go rollerblading or over to Cold Stone.”

“Yeah. That all sounds like awesome ideas, but I really, really just need to – “

“Oh! And I think the fair is in town. That’s be nice.”

“The fair. Yup. Lovely idea. I just don’t think that this is a good –“

“Or maybe the zoo. The zoo’s a really nice place to –“

“LIAM! Listen to me. I really have to talk to you about something. We can’t start this.”

“What do you mean? Why not?” the voice on the other side desperately demanded.

Beth looked up to receive her best friend’s piercing stare. She was judging Beth, passing judgments about her going out with Rose’s second choice, her sloppy seconds. But Beth didn’t really care. She had a bigger situation to handle than girl drama. She let out a sigh. “Because I’m moving to New Jersey next week.”