From First to Last

I've always been the picky type. Never the one to agree to one thing. I change everything a bit to much. Like conversations. Me and my mom have been having such different conversations for the past hour. I don't wanna leave my mom. But, I guess i've got to. Living with my Aunt and Uncle isn't how i pictured my summer. I wanted to stay in beautiful Arkansas. But, I guess my mom and step dad are kinda tired of me being there so often. I'm not the social type. Never have been. Okay, That's a lie. I used to be out everyday. But, I guess those days have changed.

I'm shy. A little bit to shy. "Why do you even want me to go?" I mange to ask my mom. "Because, It'll be fun. You need to get to know your family in Indiana more." My mom insits. I get back to listening to Ipod. I bite my lip, Not wanting to spill my guts to my mother. I don't really wanna go. I'm dreading. My mom has Earl now. She doesn't need me. Of course, She seems happier without me. The day my uncle told me he wanted me to come stay with them for the summer, My mom cheered for joy. Not sorrow. I grab for my mt.dew and take a long drink. This, I'm going to miss. I move my long brown hair outta my face. My bangs are way to long. "I don't wanna go." I say to my mom. "Paige, Don't start this again. It'll be fun! There not as bad as Earl makes them seem."

I look so much ilke my mom. Besides the laugh lines, The oldness (Not that she's that old.) And without the blonde hair.

"I'm gonna miss you. Please don't make me go?" I plead. The car comes to a hault at the airport. "Sorry Paige. They will teach you how to have fun. I'm tired of seeing you so upset at home. I worry about you." My mom says grabbing my hair. "Earl worries about you." "Right." My mom sighs. "Well, Here's your stop." I grab my backpack and step outta the car. "I'll ship the rest of your stuff to you. I'm pretty sure that bag is enough for a week or so. Right?" My mom asks. "Yes." My mom grabs me and pulls me into a hug. "I love you Paige. Call me every chance you get." My mom kisses my head. I squeeze her for a minute once more and let go. "Goodbye Tiffany. Make sure you call me every chance Uncle Larry and Aunt Valerie will let you get." I nod and blow a kiss to my mom. "I love you, Mom." "I love you too, Paige."

My mom stares at me for a minute while i get my bag situated over my shoulder and my headphones fixed in my ear. "Don't worry about me, Paige." My mom urges. "I'll be fine." My mom kisses my head once more. "I love you." My mom says to me. "I love you, too. Goodbye mom." My mom waves and i walk away.

I hand the flight person my ticket and bord the plane. The whole time on the plane i sit and read and listen to my IPod. And think. I haven't seen my Uncle Larry or Aunt Valerie since our last family reunion. The 4 hour car ride is going to be so awkward. What if i say something bad? What if they don't like me anymore because i'm not their little Tiffany anymore? So many things run through my mind.

When the plane landed in Indianapolis i could tell it was about to storm, And it wasn't going to be a good storm, Either.

I walk off the plane into the bulidng and look around for my aunt or uncle.

"Paige! Over here!" I turn around and see my uncle with his two sons. He has one more, I guess Jeremy didn't wanna come. I walk over there fiddling with my hair. I always do that when i'm nervous. My uncle pulls me into a hug. "We've missed you, Paige." "I missed you guys, too." I fiddle with my tongue ring.

"A piercing? How'd you talk Aunt Janice into that?" My cousin Catlin asks. "I begged. I have my belly button pierced, too. It was a birthday present. My tongue ring was something just for fun." "We better go before the storm hits us in the middle of Brazil." My uncle gestures us to follow him.

We get outside and he unlocks the van. The same van he's had since forever ago. I slide in admiering the memories this van brings.

"Katrina offered her room up for you. She's going to college next week. She said she'd be fine to sleep on the couch." My uncle says. "Oh, She didn't have to do that. I'm fine sleeping on the couch. That's where i slept when i lived with my mom." My mom thought it'd be a smart idea to buy an apartment with one room. Although, It's better then staying with my uncle and his two cats.

"Are you sure, Paige? Katrina said it's no problem at all." My uncle continues. I feel like such a bother to everyone.

"Your mom told us about your diabetes and chest problems." My uncle says as i continue to be silent. "We have the pool set up, Too." "I don't have a bathing suit." "Stormi left alot of her bathing suits at the house. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you wore some." My uncle says.

I look out the window at the gas stations, Houses and everything else zoom by. This car ride is going to take probably forever..

"Paige, What do you wanna do when we get to my house? We can play playstation. Or, We can play basket ball. Or football. Or-" "She doesn't wanna do those things, Kyle. She's a 16 year old girl." My cousin Catlin inturupts. Thank goodness. Thank you Catlin for saving the day! "I'll take you to the mall later." My cousin Catlin says. I smile. "Thanks." My smile turns into a frown. "I don't have any money though.." "That's fine. Your apart of the family. You don't need money. Were here for each other. Besides, You're living under our roof. Your gonna be eating our food." I guess i could compromise with them.

3 hours pass and the storm is getting intense. But, Not to intense. My cousins Kyle and Catlin sit there and aruge about the weirdest things. I don't see how my uncle puts up with this. I turn my Ipod up louder drowning out the conversations between Catlin and Kyle. I blast Lil Wayne so loud i'm suprised everyone can't hear. My uncle turns around in his seat as he stops at a gas station. "Are you hungry?" My uncle asks. I shake my head "No, I ate mcdonalds before i got on the plane." I urge. My uncle nods and steps outta the car. "Excited to start school in Indiana?" My cousin Catlin asks. "What? I thought I was staying with you guys for the summer?" "Oh.." Catlin urges while turning around in his seat slowly. "Is there something you guys aren't telling me?" I ask vicisouly. "Nothing."

Maybe Catlin's lying. I cannot live in Indiana. No way. I'll miss Arkanasa way to much. "Alright, Were all set to go. One more hour, Well... Half an hour and were home." My uncle says while a warming smile. I get back to listening to my Ipod. I rest my head on the window and close my eyes.

"Paige, Wake up." My cousin says shaking me. I open my eyes and look down at my Ipod.. Great. It's dead. "I'm up." I say grabbing my backpack and walking outta the car.

"Your gonna love it here." My uncle says grabbing my backpack from me and walking inside. What's there to like in Indiana? It's stormy, The weathers bi-polar. It was highly impossible to love it here. I follow my uncle and cousins inside. "Paige!" My aunt sqeuals dropping her washrag into the sink with the dirty dishes. She pulls me into a fearce hug. I wrap my arms around her petite body. "Oh my goodness, You look just like your momma!! You've become a beautiful young lady!" "Thanks." My aunt lets go looking me up from head to toe. "Come, Sit." She grabs my arm leading me into the living room. "I know you haven't met your little cousin, Gavin yet." A baby looks up at me. He has short brown hair. Wearing a cute little blue shirt. "Gavin, This is Paige." The little boy stands woddling toward me resting his hands on my knees. I smile as he giggles. "Come here." My aunt gestures me to a room by the bathroom. "This is Katrina's room. This will be your room." My uncle hands me my backpack and walks back into the living room. "Jeremys room is across the hall. Although, He's in college and only comes when he has breaks, Which is rarely. It's fair enough to say this is Catlins room." I set my bag on the bed, Messy bed. messy room. "Don't be afraid to decorate this as your own room. Katrina is leaving for college in a few days." "I'm going to go back to doing dishes now. Have fun." My aunt kisses my head and walks outta the room leaving it myself and I.

I close the door and sit on the bed. I grab my phone outta my pocket. Should I text my mom? I guess so. I dial my moms number. "Mom, This is Paige. How long am I staying here?" I send the message and put my phone on my lap leaving it on vibrate.

If i go to school here, How will i fit in? I've never really stayed in Indiana long enough to take a look at the girls here. All i know is, there all stuck up slutty girls. My phone vibrates. "Sorry sweetie, I was cooking supper. And for half the school year. Me and Earl have to deicded on something. I love you Tiff! be good and listen to uncle larry and aunt valerie!" What? She lied to me. "Oh, I love you too mom." I press the send button and throw my phone to the side of me. I lay back and run my fingers through my hair. I close my eyes hopeing this is all a dream. A dirty, Rotten horrid dream.

"Knock Knock." "Come in." I bolt up. "You still up for going to the mall?" My cousin Catlin asks. "Sure." I get up and grab my phone. I've never been the girly type to go too malls. I guess this is a good start.

We arriave at the mall, Walk through the main doors into the food court. The aroma enters my nose. Pizza, Chiense and Subway aromas enter my nose. "What store do you wanna raid first?" Caitlin asks. "Dunno." "Hottopic?" I shrug my shoulders as we walk to hottopic. "I promise you'll like Indiana." He reasures me. I sigh. "I can get used to it. Just, Not like it." I look through the tu-tus and what not. "I'm gonna go look around more." Catlin says handing me an 100 dollar bill. I slip it in my pocket and walk toward the shirts.

I bump into a guy and stumble back. "Sorry." The guy says. I look up. "It's fine." I admire the guys snake bites and black hair. I've always been into guys who looked like that. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" "I'm fine. Just a little shoulder check doesn't hurt." I reasure the guy. He smiles a friendly smile. "I'm Max." I shake his hand. "I'm Paige." "Nice to meet you, Paige. I haven't seen you around?"

Of course he hasn't seen me around. "I'm new here." "No wonder." The guy says jokingly. "What school will you be going to?" I shrug my shoulders, Hopefully NO school. "Max." "Catlin!" I see my cousin walk up to the guy. "Yo bro. What you doin here?" Max asks. "Shit, Just taking my cousin shopping. Seems like you guys already met." "Yea." I stand there awkwardly silent. This silence is to familar. "I'll stop by later, Man. I gotta go." Catlin says highfiving Max. "Alrighty, Bye." Max waves at me and Catlin.

"Since your staying here for school, You'll be going to south with me. And now since you know Max, Max." Catlin says. "Exciting."

"Oh, Cheer up Paige. It's not that bad." He adds.

"Fine." I grab a shirt off the rack and hand it to Catlin.

"Is this it?" He asks. I nod. "Yes. I don't buy much."

"Were gonna have to come here in a few weeks for school clothes. School starts in a few weeks. It starts August 15th."

"In Arkansa school started in September."

"Well, Here it starts August." I shudder at the sound of school.

"Is this it?" The cashier asks. He has long black choppy hair. A nose ring. Very tall. His name tag reads "Hi, My name is Ronnie." He's covered in tattoos. As if he doesn't reach my sexual standards. "13 dollars is your change." The cashier hands Catlin the money and we walk outta the store.

"Ready to head home?"

"Yes, I need a shower." I add. Catlin nods and we walk out to the car.

"You can sit in front, Ya'Know?" Catlin says. I close the back door and slide in the frontseat.

"Be happy were in the same grade." Catlin adds.

"Why?" I ask him.

"Because." "Because why?" I ask getting anxious and annoyed.

"So i can show you around. Everyone here is stuck up." Catlin says. I sit in silence. I do not know how to respond to such manner. I know every girl here is stuck up. Didn't think they were that stuck up.

I mean, The girls in Arkansa were stuck up. Just, Never to stuck up. I'm not looking forward to school. Not looking forward to making new friends. Nor, Being the new student. Being the new student has always been a pain. I've moved queit often. I sit in silence still, Fidgting with my tongue ring.

"No celilings mothafucka goodmorning, Dick in your mouth while you yawnin, I'm goin in." Catlin raps. I giggle.

"Sing it, Paige." Catlin says turning the radio up. I shake my head. "I know you can rap. You're brother is Dusty."

I sigh and look down at my hands. "I'm sorry Tiffany, I didn't mean to bring him up." "It's fine."

Dusty is my brother, Obviously. He's been there at my weakest hours. He got locked up sometime back in March. A few weeks after my birthday. My life's been hell ever since those bastards locked him up. I love my brother and always will. He somehow put a smile on my face. Usually at my weakest moments. He put a smile on the whole families face. Besides my fathers. He easily managed to dissapoint my dad. My father has high standards. He's simply always on cloud 9 and thinks everyone should be perfect. Jack Larson. He always though he was perfect. And he thought his children needed to be perfect. He was married 3 times before my mother and outta those marriages he got 6 kids outta them. Including me and my brothers, That makes 9 kids. You could say he's been around the block.
Catlin pulls to a stop in the driveway. A new car is parked there. A red truck.

"Looks like we have company." He says unlocking the doors. I step outta the car and put my shoes on the black pavement. "Paige!" I see a tall girl with freakishly long blonde hair run toward me with her arms in the air.

"Oh my gosh! I LOVE YOU!" The girl says. She lets go of me and i stare at her, Confused. "You don't remember me?" I shake my head. "No. Sorry." I say. Not actually souding sorry. "Cheyenne. We used to be so close when we were 11." My memory is compltely blank. I stand there and stare at her as if i wanna remember. "Umm.." I say my voice trailing off. "Whatever." The girl says and walks away.

"Paige." I turn around and see a kinda, fat built guy. "Hi?" I ask. "I'm your uncle Bill." The man says. I nod. "Hi?" I ask once more. The man laughs. "Shy just like your momma." The stranger pulls me into a hug. "I can't believe you don't remember us." He lets go of me. I stare at him and the women beside him. "This is your Aunt Angie." He says pointing to the women beside him. "You're so grown up now!" The man continues. I smile. Of course. I guess he's family. I've got to bed nice. Right?

"Come in, Everyone. We made grilled hotdogs. We need to celebrate!" My aunt Valerie says peaking her head out the glass door. I look down to see a small dog resting by my feet. I walk away from my so called "close family." Close? My ass. If we were so close.. How come i don't remember them?

"Don't be so shy." My cousin Catlins asures me. "It's hard not to. I barely remember anyone." I say. "You'll remember soon enough. How could you forget you're fucked up family?" I giggle. "Dunno." Catlin playfully shoves me.

I walk into the crowded kitchen next to my Aunt Valerie. "Eat." She says handing me a plate. I refuse the plate. "Paige LeAnn. Don't argue with me. Eat!" She shoves the plate in my hands. "Thanks.." I say walking into the dining room. I sit down at the crowded table next to a women with freakishly long hair. The women my Uncle Bill introdueced me too. "How's your mom?" The lady asked. "Good." I say taking a bite of the hotdog. "You look so much like your momma. You're like a spitting image of her." I smile. "I get that alot." The lady laughs. "I can see why." I wipe my face and take another bite of the hotdog. I look around the dining room at the people I once knew.

I guess I should get used to them. I will be here for a while..