Kid A
Nothing can compare to the buzzing sounds of life happening around you, not when it’s like this. There isn’t a thing that can prepare you for it, there isn’t a word of advice that could give you even a glimpse of a way to cope. It all just happens and that’s the worst part of it, is that it’s happening and you don’t have anywhere to go anymore.
We all lost ourselves somewhere in the mess before it started, we lost ourselves in the same way every child loses themselves when they stare into the television at the pixelated faces of people like us, we lost it like that but then it all came true. Nothing was real anymore.
It’s not hard to find meaning in what we do, or why we do it, but each day I find it increasingly difficult to find the meaning behind its success. We’re just this group of five guys who write really weird music together and I don’t think any of us really understand why so many people like it. I mean, I’m not complaining, I just don’t know what they see in us over one of those bands that most people still haven’t heard of yet. Maybe I think too hard about it, maybe we all do. I guess in the end it doesn’t matter how we got to where we are, because the fact is that we have.
That’s a well-known story, though. What’s really interesting is how normal we try to be despite it all…
I guess I get along like anyone else, there isn’t much that separates me from the kid sitting on the curb downtown busting out his acoustic guitar to make a few extra pennies, people just know my name. What is a name, though? What is anything? It’s the people who really matter, the ones you care about who care about you, the ones who you know would die for you, not their names.
Thom and I have been friends forever, we probably will be friends forever, and that’s how it goes. We met at school when I was there and he was there and my brother Colin was there and we just got along. It didn’t matter what our names meant back then, it didn’t matter where we came from or anything like that, because we were all going to the same place together.
We all lost ourselves somewhere in the mess before it started, we lost ourselves in the same way every child loses themselves when they stare into the television at the pixelated faces of people like us, we lost it like that but then it all came true. Nothing was real anymore.
It’s not hard to find meaning in what we do, or why we do it, but each day I find it increasingly difficult to find the meaning behind its success. We’re just this group of five guys who write really weird music together and I don’t think any of us really understand why so many people like it. I mean, I’m not complaining, I just don’t know what they see in us over one of those bands that most people still haven’t heard of yet. Maybe I think too hard about it, maybe we all do. I guess in the end it doesn’t matter how we got to where we are, because the fact is that we have.
That’s a well-known story, though. What’s really interesting is how normal we try to be despite it all…
I guess I get along like anyone else, there isn’t much that separates me from the kid sitting on the curb downtown busting out his acoustic guitar to make a few extra pennies, people just know my name. What is a name, though? What is anything? It’s the people who really matter, the ones you care about who care about you, the ones who you know would die for you, not their names.
Thom and I have been friends forever, we probably will be friends forever, and that’s how it goes. We met at school when I was there and he was there and my brother Colin was there and we just got along. It didn’t matter what our names meant back then, it didn’t matter where we came from or anything like that, because we were all going to the same place together.
-
One.
The thing isn't that me and Thom became really good friends, but that I really liked being his best friend -
Two.
He would talk to the rest of us in the band but none of us cold do anything and so times just got really dark. -
Three.
Thom needed a break, we all could tell he did. -
Four.
What if he was leaving the band because he hated me?! -
Five.
Thom was still here, hence the smell of coffee emanating from the kitchen. -
Six.
At this point, tears were streaming down my face. -
Seven.
"It's been a while since the five of us were together." -
Eight.
"Did I ever tell you you're probably the most beautiful person?" -
Nine.
I just wasn't sure what happened, and what was going to happen. -
Ten.
"I can handle it, Thom, I'm not as fragile as you think." -
Eleven.
It made me unbearably sad to see Colin like that, because I knew he did nothing wrong... -
Twelve.
It just creates this existential sort of angst... -
Thirteen.
I guess I can't really blame people for their constant stares... -
Fourteen.
I just got into this thing, like an obsessive-compulsive niche where I had to clean everything. -
Fifteen.
We hadn't toured for quite a long time, but he always gets so stressed out when we do. -
Sixteen.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to lay eyes on... -
Seventeen.
My next question was "What hospital?" -
Eighteen.
In a way, it really was my fault, I was cold and I didn't listen and I threw him away.