Grey

People tell me that it helps to talk about these kinds of things, but to be honest, I’m not quite too sure where to start, or if any of this will even help. I don’t know why she left. I don’t even know why we met in the first place. Maybe the universe was playing a trick on me. Maybe the whole thing was a mistake, but a part of me denies that so profusely. I just can’t bring myself to believe that the best thing to ever happen to me was a mistake. She couldn’t have been.

I guess I should just start at the beginning. I apologize if I sound pathetic. I’m trying not to. Honest. I saw a film, and at the very beginning the voice over said: “This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.”

I never used to think that films could come true. I mean, everything is just exaggerated, right? Nothing you see in a film could ever happen to you. That's just not the way it works. I never even used to call them films. That was all her.

I’m getting off-track here, and you just want to know about the girl, I suppose. I’ll tell you about her, and maybe it will help, or maybe it won’t. Maybe it’ll give me “closure” – whatever that means. Maybe then I’ll be able to move on. But I don’t think people ever really move on. And I know that there are cynics out there that say that “people don’t change” – she was one of them – but they’re wrong. People do change, if they want to.

She changed me, and now I’ll never be the same. And I guess that’s what I mean when I say that I don’t think people ever really move on. Because people do change, and people’s feelings change, and there’s no going back after that.