Robot With Human Hair
Chapter Two
Sometimes, I wish I could just restart my whole life. Start from the beginning, and do everything the way I want to. I would take more risks, and not regret as much. Once you think about it, you spend most of your life regretting things. People are on their deathbed everyday, regretting everything they've ever done, rather than saying, “I've had a wonderful life. I'm ready to die.” I'm aware that people aren't going to be happy about death, but it's a hell of a lot better than realizing how much you've fucked up.
I got off the ground and just stood there. I watched as the leaves blew across the ground. Wouldn't it be nice to be a leaf? They are so beautiful, and you never know where they go. They just keep going and going. They don't need love...
I took my phone out of my jacket pocket. I was hoping that there would be a billion texts from David saying he was sorry, even though he didn't do anything. There were no messages. I sighed and started walking home. David has always made fun of the way I walked. He said I walked like a model- one foot directly in front of the other, every time I took a step. I knew that thinking about David, wouldn't really help anything. But I couldn't think of anything else.
A tear slid down my pale face and onto the ground. Why am I crying? It's not like he's gone. I wiped my face with my jacket sleeve and than opened the door to my house. “David, what are you doing here? And why do you have a box; Are you moving in with us?” I don't think I had ever smiled so much in my life. But I knew it was to good to be true. My smile soon faded as quickly as it appeared.
“No, Alex. I came to get my stuff.” He stood up, carrying his box of items, and swiftly walked past me and out the door. Closing the door right in my face. I opened the door with tears running down my face again, “Fine! Leave me here to fucking die!”
“You see Alex, that's the thing. It's all about you. It's never, 'if that makes David happy.' It's always you.” He turned his head and continued to walk away, “And go ahead, kill yourself. It's not like anyone would care. I mean, whatever makes you happy. Besides, all you do is talk about death and how you 'self-harm,' which is quite pathetic. Goodbye.”
I watched as he got into his car and drove away. “You'll see! After I'm dead, you'll regret doing this to me and you'll want me back!” I lowered my voice to a whisper, “You'll all see...”
I got off the ground and just stood there. I watched as the leaves blew across the ground. Wouldn't it be nice to be a leaf? They are so beautiful, and you never know where they go. They just keep going and going. They don't need love...
I took my phone out of my jacket pocket. I was hoping that there would be a billion texts from David saying he was sorry, even though he didn't do anything. There were no messages. I sighed and started walking home. David has always made fun of the way I walked. He said I walked like a model- one foot directly in front of the other, every time I took a step. I knew that thinking about David, wouldn't really help anything. But I couldn't think of anything else.
A tear slid down my pale face and onto the ground. Why am I crying? It's not like he's gone. I wiped my face with my jacket sleeve and than opened the door to my house. “David, what are you doing here? And why do you have a box; Are you moving in with us?” I don't think I had ever smiled so much in my life. But I knew it was to good to be true. My smile soon faded as quickly as it appeared.
“No, Alex. I came to get my stuff.” He stood up, carrying his box of items, and swiftly walked past me and out the door. Closing the door right in my face. I opened the door with tears running down my face again, “Fine! Leave me here to fucking die!”
“You see Alex, that's the thing. It's all about you. It's never, 'if that makes David happy.' It's always you.” He turned his head and continued to walk away, “And go ahead, kill yourself. It's not like anyone would care. I mean, whatever makes you happy. Besides, all you do is talk about death and how you 'self-harm,' which is quite pathetic. Goodbye.”
I watched as he got into his car and drove away. “You'll see! After I'm dead, you'll regret doing this to me and you'll want me back!” I lowered my voice to a whisper, “You'll all see...”