C'est La Vie

I felt like shit to put it simply. For the past few days, my whole body had been covered in goosebumps but I was sweating from the fever that had taken over my body. All I really wanted to do was go to the beach and go swimming. Why, I had no idea. My sick body just wanted that I suppose. How odd. The extremely sick feeling passed after I fell asleep for maybe the twentieth time.

On the day I took a nice little plunge into the fountain at Trafalgar Square, Max had pushed me into the bathroom and turned on a hot shower for me before leaving and promising he would get me a bunch of blankets so he could tuck me in bed. He did just that. Chris and Max brought in five or so blankets and helped me get all cozied up in bed before Matt brought in a cup of hot chocolate for me. I felt pretty damn loved.

I honestly didn't even know what day it was. Whenever I got sick I slept for days at a time. Christmas could have passed already and I wouldn't have realized it. I rolled over and ran a hand through my hair, cringing at the greasy feeling. It was so dirty. I must have been out for a while.

A knock came from the doorway and I looked up from my pile of blankets. Matt was standing in the door a cup of something steaming in his hand.

"I was hoping you'd be up. You've been out for 3 days!" He laughed at my shocked expression and patted my leg through all the covers. "Feelin' any bettah?"

I just nodded and grinned excitedly as he handed me the mug. "What day is it Matt?"

"16th. Max and Josh were dragged out by Chris today to do some shoppin' for presents. I figured I'd stay an' keep an eye on ya," he said.

Matt pushed back my blankets and picked one up before leaving the room. I watched him curiously, but when he stuck his head back in the doorway I jumped up and followed him. Matt led me down the hall to one of the room I had yet to go in. The room, when he opened the door, I saw was painted a cheery red color, with black leather couches and chairs all facing around a flat screen TV.

I took a spot on the couch and Matt covered me up, handing my hot chocolate back to me. While he bent down next to the TV to pop in a movie, I presumed, I pulled my phone out of my pj pockets. I ignored the low battery warning and checked my messages, smiling when I saw two in particular. One was from Chelsea and the message was actually a couple picture messages of her on the beach and with her sister Emily. I smiled, replying with a quick, I'm jealous! I'm already sick! Miss you tons babe xx.

When I clicked to the other message an instant grin spread across my face. This message was from Zach, a boy in a few of my classes at college. He was a sweetheart and we had gotten pretty close. I blushed, remembering just []how close we had gotten:

December 10th;

"Hey J!" Zach smiled, raising his hand up in the air when he saw me.

I walked over, giving him a little hug as I sat in the chair next to him. For it being a Wednesday afternoon the library was quite quiet. We studied together for fifteen or so minutes. He used his note cards to quiz me on the bio vocab and I quizzed him with the practice tests in our books.

He sighed, leaning his head on his book. I poked him, but he didn't move. I ruffled his blonde hair and laughed when he groaned and motioned for me to stop.

I jumped up, "Make me," I whispered, cracking up as I messed his hair up a lot. I laughed again as I saw it when he lifted his head. His hair had fallen just the right way so as to make it look like he had animal ears.

I handed Zach my mirror and saw him blush and pat down his hair. "You're going to get it Jordo!"

I backed away from him as he stood up. Knowing he would use my one weakness against me: tickling me. I ran down an aisle of books, giggling quietly as I pressed myself into a little corner in the back of the library. I peeked my head around the corner of one of the bookshelves and saw no one coming so I let out a little sigh of relief.

"Boo!"

I squealed, jumping about ten feet as Zach popped up on the other side of me. He was laughing so hard, but within seconds his expression turned serious. Zach stepped towards me and I had to look up to keep eye contact with the tall boy.

Zach leaned down, caressing his face with my hands as he pressed his lips to mine gently. We broke apart briefly, a faint smile crossing my lips as we made eye contact once again. My lips tingled as I pulled him back down towards me. This time our kiss was more heated. He grabbed my hips and roughly pushed me back against the wall as I threaded my hands in his hair.

One of Zach's hand moved down to my right leg, hitching it up around his waist. I gasped when he pulled away and moved his lips to my neck-

"Jordan?"

"I'M A VIRGIN, I SWEAR!" I gasped.

"Uh, I didn't ask but maybe you wanna talk to someone else about tha'?" Matt chuckled, patting my head before sitting down next to me.

My face was bright red. "Oh my god, I'm sorry Matt. I don't even-"

"Don' worry about it. Sometimes we forget what we're sayin' out loud and in our 'eads. It's ok," he replied, giving me a happy smile.

I smiled right back at him, glad that he wasn't making things awkward. The movie title screen popped up on the screen, making me grin. It was Titanic.

"Nuh uh. Chris told you, didn't he?"

Matt gave me another cheeky grin, replying, "He might've mentioned tha' it was your favorite. I figured it would cheer you up. Is it workin' already?"

I eagerly nodded my head, hair flying into my face. We settled in to watch the movie, both of us curled under the same blanket.

I wondered how the rest of my vacation would go. I was already sick of Josh and his annoying ways, like how he ran his hands through his already messy hair every couple minutes, the way his eyebrows framed his bright, blue eyes, and the way his annoying laugh seeped into my brain.

I shuddered. What else could he possibly do to me? He had already embarrassed me in public and gotten me sick! Not to mention I had to deal with his cocky attitude on a daily basis because of my brother and the band. I genuinely liked the other boys in the band, but if it meant having to be around Josh all the time, maybe I'd have to find some new people to hang around while on vacation.

A knock on the door brought me back to reality. Jack was with Rose on the deck of Titanic, ice chunks surrounding them. How had I gone so long thinking about that despicable boy? Matt paused the movie when Chris, Max, and Josh walked in. Josh immediately walked over to the couch and pushed my feet off, filling the space with his body.

I frowned, placing my feet on his lap. Fucker. He pushed them off once more. This time, when I replaced my feet, I dropped them down a little harder, just to let him know that he shouldn't even try anymore. Then, I winked at him.

Turning my attention back to my brother, I listened to our Christmas plans. Apparently we would be staying here, at mom's house, and then joining the boys and going to Max's house for a party with all of the families. Even Christmas wasn't sacred: I would still be with Josh.

◊

"Jordan, honey, can you pass me the yeast?" My mother smiled at me, wiping her hand across her forehead and leaving behind a trail of flour.

I giggled and pointed to her forehead as I handed her the yeast. She looked at me, confused, but wiped at her forehead again nonetheless. When she successfully removed all the flour, she returned to work, bending over the bread she was making. Her dark brown curls fell around her, framing her heart shaped face perfectly. My mother was truly beautiful.

I had inherited her green eyes and dark hair, yet my hair had a more relaxed curl than hers, and only appeared if I let my hair air dry. If I used my hair dryer, my long locks turned straight without the use of a straightener.

"Jordan? Honey, you're 20 years old, you need to stop spacing out," she teased, a grin crossing her face.

I rolled my eyes and pulled myself up onto the counter, taking my phone out of my pocket. It had started vibrating like crazy, but I had ignored it, opting to spend time with my mom. Now though, the vibrating was becoming incessant. The caller ID read Zach, which earned a happy smile from me.

"Hey Z," I greeted.

"Jordan, I'm sorry," he started. I furrowed my brows, utterly confused.

"What're you talking about?"

My mother was watching me now, a sad look on her face. Mom's are psychic, I swear. She obviously knew what was coming, even if I didn't.

"I was at my friend's house, visiting his family for the holidays and his sister, god. I don't know Jordan, but I've never met someone like her. I think I'm in love Jordo. I've never felt this way about anyone else. Fuck. I guess I changed my mind about believing in love at first sight." I stayed silent. Sadness washed over me, but I couldn't change his mind. I wouldn't mess with love, ever. I knew what it felt like to have something ripped away from me.

"She's beautiful Jordan, and she gets me. She truly gets me. Her name's Melanie. She's an art student at Parsons. I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hear all about her. We're still friends right? I mean, you don't hate me? Please don't hate me Jordan, 'cause you're like my best friend," Zach spilled, talking fast, tripping over his words.

"Zach, calm down. I don't hate you. Of course we're still friends. Now I have to go help my mom," I lied through my teeth, knowing that would be best for us in the end. "You go and be with her Zach. You deserve someone like her, I'm 100% positive. I'll see you when I get back. Bye Z."

I hung up quickly. My mother's arms were wrapped around me in an instant. I pushed her off gently.

"We weren't dating mom, it's no big deal."

I shrugged off another hug and left the kitchen. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I rushed up the stairs to my bedroom. Before I entered my room, I turned around. I could hear the guys' voices from this end of the hallway. I walked back towards the room Matt and I had been watching a movie in and headed inside.

I knew my eyes were red from holding back my tears and could feel how bad I looked, and I truly didn't want my brother to see me like this.

"Josh," I whispered.

All of the boys' heads turned towards the door. I sniffled and Chris jumped up.

"Jordan, what happened?" He started heading towards me, but I held my hand up.

"I just want to see Josh, okay? I'm fine." Chris backed off but I knew he saw right through my lies. It was pretty obvious I wasn't alright.

Josh stood up and followed me back down the hall towards my bedroom. When he came in I was sitting on my bed, indian style. He sat down, a weird look on his face as he studied me closely.

"What did you do when your girlfriend broke up with you?" I asked suddenly, looking up at him as the tears spilled over my face.

"I write," he said simply.

Josh got off the bed, holding his hand out to me. I took it, wiping my eyes on my sleeve as he led me out into the hall.

"Follow me, I've got something to show you."