smoke weed

Rosalee John sat in the corner of her room, her face full of tears. She looked at her wrists and started crying all over again, nothing could ever save her from her life of despair and tragedy. Her life was a living Hell, for real not like those fairy tales where they say their lives are full of crap and then they find a lover and everything becomes perfect; Rosalee's life really is full of shit.

Rosalee's phone suddenly goes off, she knew it was either Caitline or Noah but she didn't want to deal with them; she didn't want to deal with anyone.

caitline: rosa! come on answer me!

noah: lee! we kno someting is up... text me back plz!

Rosalee laid down and cried on her bed, nothing could help her in this situation; her best friends wouldn't even be able to make her feel better.

Rosalee texted them both back, telling them that she was walking to the park. She got up and started walking, taking the long way just to clear her mind. She needed to think, think about her dad, her mom, and her choices.

When Rosalee was six, when she was only Lee to her mom and dad, her father turned evil. All his day consisted of was hitting her it seemed. Before she brushed her teeth in the morning, before they ate dinner, before she went to bed. It seemed like it was never ending. And all her mother did was sit and watch.

It stopped after a while, when Rosalee went into seventh grade. That was too late though, Rosalee had already learned the wonders of cutting and figured out how bad her dad had tortured her.

Her seventh grade year she met Noah, who became her best friend instantly. He introduced Rosalee to Caitline, whose name was beautiful but not as beautiful her inner and outer beauty.

Rosalee arrived at the park, seeing that Noah and Caitline were already there; they thought they were ready for what Rosalee was about to tell them. They smiled at her, they looked like they were ready for anything but Rosalee knew they weren't ready to hear this.

"Guys, I have something to tell you. It's important, and I'm trusting you not to judge me." Rosalee said, feeling as if she was going too far over the barrier of her past. She always promised herself that she would never let the past take over.

"You can tell us anything, you should know that." Noah said, and Rosalee smiled at him; he really thought he was ready for this.

"Guys, I have a problem." Rosalee started moving her hands toward her sleeves, "I cut myself." Rosalee said, and their expressions were surprised, calm, loving, sorry, and scared all at the same time.

Noah instantly grabbed Rosalee's hand, pulling her sleeves all the way up to show the truth. The truth that Rosalee had always hidden somewhere deep inside of her. Rosalee felt like she had betrayed herself, she had always promised herself no one would know about her secret, but here she was telling the people that were closest to her.

"You could've told us before. What else are you keeping from us Lee? What is it? Are you going to join an emo group and smoke weed and do drugs? It would be the only thing to cure the pain right? Nothing can help you except for cutting and doing stupid things, right? Not even your friends could help you, your friends obviously mean nothing to you!" Noah screamed, and Rosalee felt the tears coming. It sounded exactly like what she always imagined her father saying if she told him.

"Noah, it wasn't like that! I always told myself I would hide my past from everyone, but I told you. I knew you guys would react like this, that's why I didn't want to tell you! I didn't want to tell you because I've never been so close to someone like I'm close to you guys, I didn't want you guys to leave me." Rosalee said, tears falling down her face for the second time that day.

"But what I'm trying to say, is that maybe we've never been so close to people either! Maybe we would have been supportive and told you everything was going to be okay, you should be able to trust us! Isn't that what friends are for? Trusting and tellling your deepest darkest fears, your deepest darkest secrets? I thought I was more to you than just a support barrier that you told nothing to!" Noah said, and he walked away.

Caitline left shortly after, because she was more Noah's friend then Rosalee's. Rosalee was left with all of the anger, all of the sadness, and all of the hatred.

Rosalee sat on the park bench and cried, no one knew how to upset her like Noah. No one knew Rosalee as much as Noah did either though. Before Rosalee fell asleep on the park bench, she felt a vibration come from her pocket but let it slide.

blocked number: Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but it doesn't know that so it just keeps on flying. Scientifically, cutting has never solved anything, but it doesn't know that so it just keeps on taking control of people's lives. In real life, I shouldn't still love you, but I don't know that so I just keep on loving you. -noah f.