Dependent on Life.

Being on the run most of your life is tiring, moving around all the time is frustrating and having to always just pack up and leave things behind is heart breaking. For as long as I can remember I’ve been moving around, from place to place, family to family and well you get the point. The only familiar place is the orphanage, I always go back there when things go wrong or families say they can’t deal with me anymore, who wants to deal with a 16 year old kid anyway? Apparently we’re all the same here at the orphanage sad and angry, always hate life and the things it brings us, and oh wonder why that is? Maybe because we don’t have anyone to love us or tell us right and wrong.

Assholes.

I don’t remember who my father was but I’ve been told he’s still alive I remember my mother though she died when I was 4 years old, straight after she died I was put in the Huntington Beach orphanage, I’ve been in and out ever since I always end up coming back here though because families say I’m too quiet or too miserable.

I’m glad they bring me back though because I don’t want to know that I’m just a second choice to someone, I want to be with my family except all I had was my mother so I guess I don’t have anyone else but the kids at the orphanage…

Whenever I do come back the orphanage care taker Mandy Lismore was always welcoming me with open arms, she wasn’t like those people you hear in stories like ‘Anne’ where they are nasty and couldn’t care less about you, she was like a mother to most of the kids here because she grew up in this orphanage.

‘Jasmine someone’s here to see you honey!’ I heard Mandy yell from the bottom of the stairs sounding a bit disappointed. I knew exactly who it was another family here to see me, to take me and treat me like a princess only for them to find out I hate being treated like a spoilt brat, that’s why it never worked out with any of the families I stayed with.

I pinned my golden blond fringe up and walked past the mirror to check that my eyeliner and mascara was not smudge, after noticing it was a perfect as it could get, I dawdled towards the stairs and taking my time going down each step knowing I might fall down if I ran. ‘Yes Mandy whose here to see me?’ I said a little annoyed

‘Come to my office dear, I think you’ll be really happy when you find out the news I have for you…’ This time sounding more cheery then before. I followed her to her office, noticing four men sitting on the lounge near Mandy’s desk and one other man sat in front of the wooden desk, they were all tatted up and had piercings of some sort, wearing jeans either black or white tops.

When I stepped into the now full office the man in front of the desk turned to look at me with wide eyes, along with the other four mysterious men, I hesitated to sit down in the empty seat next to him but I did as Mandy said and sat down not looking at him only to desk in front of me.

‘So Jasmine as you know I’ve been searching for someone apart of your family for quite some time now and it has been hard work but it has all paid off!’ Mandy clapped and smiled before getting serious and looking at only me. ‘Honey, you have to trust me right now and I know you don’t want to but you have to please.’ She smiled softly and I nodded in reply for her to continue, she knew what it was like to move from family to family, she didn’t even find her family and still hasn’t.

Although it saddens her to give the kids away to people she knows it for the better, there are only 6 of us left and slowly one by one she will find their families and will have to shut down the orphanage.

‘Jasmine I want you to meet James Owen Sullivan, otherwise known as Jimmy. After days and hours of tests and what not we got the DNA results back and well to cut things short, Honey he is your biological father…’ Those words she has never said them before, I mean I’ve heard her say them to other kids that were here but I always thought they’d come back after 2 weeks however they never did.

Could this really be happening for me? Could he really be my father? And if he is then where was he all this time? I sat there in my thoughts as tears threatened me but I pushed them back not to dare let them fall, my breathing had stopped it was like my lungs had just stopped working but my heart beat faster.

I didn’t notice that I was staring blankly down at the ground holding my left shoulder as my fingers ran over the long scar that went from my neck to my shoulder blade, I had forgotten to get a jacket so the men sitting on the brown leather lounge would have probably noticed it by now along with the man in the seat next to me. ‘Jasmine honey? Say something?’ Mandy’s voice pulled me away from my thoughts as I shot my head up, slightly breathing again.

‘Co-Could I get some fresh air please?’
‘Yes honey sure you can.’ She smiled again. I stood from my seat without making eye contact with anyone I headed towards the door and sat down on the seat just outside the door, hanging my head in my hands and tried to calm myself. A few minutes later I heard the door open I shot my head up again and saw Mandy standing there, she shut the door behind her and kneeled next to me.

‘You know I would never lie to you right honey?’ I nodded slowly before she continued. ‘He really is your father Jasmine, he showed us a note that your mother had written to him saying that he had a daughter because your mother knew that she was going to die, we got a blood test done and other tests as well…' She paused looking at my confused expression.

'Remember how I asked to take your blood a few weeks ago? That’s what it was for. You can come visit anytime you want, but I want you to go home with your dad honey he has been looking all over for you. Please I know this is a shock and I know you know I’m telling the truth otherwise you wouldn’t have acted the way you did, usually you just go storm upstairs grabbing your bag and come back down before I tell you where you’re going but this time was different, you didn’t come with your bag…’ I noticed she was right and I stood from my seat, helping her up and walked back into the office sitting down again.

‘Sorry we took so long, anyway honey why don’t you go pack your things you need and I’ll come and help you in a few minutes okay?’ I hesitated at the thought that this might be the last time I see this place, I didn’t hate it here because I couldn’t get hurt here and I called this place home for the past 12 years. I gave her a sad look, a really sad one before I stood and ran upstairs to pack.