‹ Prequel: The Bride
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The Newlyweds

Ten

I hugged Maria quickly as I left to get into my car. She looked concerned as I pulled out of my parking space, but she wasn’t as concerned as I felt. There was a huge lump in my throat, and I felt my chest tightening. I couldn’t cry now; John really did need me. I drove quickly toward my house. I didn’t care that I was breaking the law. I just needed to get home to my hurting husband. I was going to get to him, no matter what it took. I took as many back roads as I could until I pulled up to our gated community.
I threw my car in park in a rush and hopped out of the car. I didn’t bother with grabbing anything except for my keys and cell phone. Of course the door was left unlocked just as I had this morning. That meant that John definitely hadn’t left the house; he probably hadn’t even moved. As I rounded the corner, I saw John sitting at the island on a stool. I walked closer to him, and his blood-shot eyes looked up at me. He moved fast; getting off of the stool and striding over to me until I was in his arms.
“Are you okay?” I whispered. I had my head laid on his chest, and I could hear his heart-beat.
“No,” He whispered, pulling back to look at me. “Can you hold me?”
I furrowed my brows, but I nodded anyway. I expected John to lead the way up to our room, but we went straight to the living room. I noticed empty bottles of alcohol and lots of tissues from what I assumed was crying. His lunch was sitting on the coffee table, un-touched. I sat down, and John laid down on the couch until his head landed on my lap. I combed my hands through his growing locks. His eyes slowly began to water until he closed them to let the tears out again. I was guessing that this was how today went.
“Baby...can you talk to me?” I asked.
“No,” He shook his head. “I don’t want to talk. I just want to lay here,”
“Okay,” I nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “I love you so very much,”
“Love you too,” His voice was broken.
That broke my heart. I didn’t know what to do.
“Can I turn on the tv, if I leave it on low?”
“Yeah,” He sighed, staring straight up at me.
I didn’t attempt to ask him what he had done today. I knew what the answer was going to be, and I knew he was going to start crying again. We sat like that for a few hours before my legs were getting numb and I had to get up to go pee. I went to the restroom quickly, but I decided to sneak up the stairs. I changed from my work clothes into clothes that were comfortable for me. I looked around the room to get John a change of clothes. I think he had been wearing them for a day too long, and I didn’t want my husband to start smelling.
“I brought down some clothes...do you want to change, Johnny?”
“No,” He stated simply. “I don’t want to move,”
“Why?”
“I can’t.” He retorted, and I decided to drop it. “Please come here?”
I moved over to his side.
“Yeah?”
“Cuddle,” John stated simply, and I agreed by laying down with him. I wrapped my arms around him, and he rested his head on my chest. “I hate myself,”
I looked down quickly at my husband.
“What?”
“I…” he sighed. “I just do,”
“John, you’re a great man.” I stated. I probably looked as bewildered as I felt. “Why do you?”
He shrugged and cuddled closer to me.
“I don’t know,”
“John…”
“Drop it,” He sighed sadly. “I love you, though. I always will.”
“I love you too.” I said firmly. "Even if you don't love yourself,"
"I'm sorry," John apologized. "I don't mean to... I just do."
I didn't mean to, but I pouted. John gave me a funny look, one that I didn't recognize. He finally looked away and closed his eyes. He was done talking; I wanted answers. I wanted John to speak to me but he didn't want to.
He was really sad and completely lost. I'm convinced he didn't want to be found.

❤️


"Are you ready to tell me what's going on?" Kennedy asked. "John has written some sick ass songs. They're sad as hell though,"
I sighed heavily.
"I don't know what's going on anymore, Kenny." I admitted. "He's always a different person every time I see him?"
Kennedy studied me for a moment before he decided to speak.
"So you don't know at all what might be going on?"
"I just know that he needs help."
"He needs you," He stated before gripping my hand softly. "he just does, okay?"
I nodded, my throat feeling tight again.
"Do you know what's going on?"
Kennedy bit his lip.
"No." I realized instantly that he was lying to me, for whatever reason. I nodded my head and grabbed my car keys. "Where are going? Aren't you waiting for Mar?"
"Not anymore."
I left his house, and drove around for a while. Once I got tired, I decided that it would be best that I went home. I only drove out because I felt like I needed to talk to Kennedy. It all turned out to be a complete waste of my time. He bussied himself with making a small plate of food for us and got us drinks. He rambled about the band until I decided to ask. He was beating around the bush. He was lying.
When I got home, John was dancing around the kitchen. He was singing a song that I had never heard before; one he probably wrote. He looked so cheery, unlike what he has looked like for the past two weeks. He has showered and it looked like he has cut his hair. It was nice. He was wearing a white t-shirt with the collar cut out, tight jeans that he rolled up to the top of his combat boots. Surprisingly; these was the best I have ever seen him look.
I walked over to John, wrapping my arms around my happy husband.
"I love you,"
I could hear his chuckle.
"I love you more, my gorgeous wife." My heart fluttered and I knew that my Johnny was back. I squeezed him tighter to me. "Whoa there! I'm not leaving,"
"I'm just happy that you're happy," I admitted into his back. John quickly undid my arms to turn around and embrace me.
"Of course I am. I love you so much. You're my world."
I just knew that I was blushing.
"You're mine," I stated. "So what do you want to do today?"
"I want to go to our field." He smiled. "It's gorgeous outside, and I want to spend it with you, and in our field."
I nodded my head and I beamed up at him.
"That sounds perfect."
"Good, because I've already packed the car." He winked, pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before he wandered off to get something.
My Johnny was back; I just don't know for how long.
♠ ♠ ♠
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Xoxo R