A Place on My Pillow

“How old are you?” Polly asked, sitting with Alex one afternoon. He had the day off so while Cady was playing with children at work, Polly and Alex were watching reruns of an old war show on TVLand.

“I’m 23,” Alex replied. “You?”

“Turning 22. When’s your birthday?”

“February 11th. How about you?”

“June 21st.”

They fell silent and continued to watch the show playing out on the television. Neither were paying attention, however. Polly played nervously with her hair while Alex chewed on his lip. It wasn’t awkward, not exactly. There was a different kind of feeling hanging in the quiet air. It was more that they were afraid to make fools of themselves.

“Okay, I can’t go on like this!” Polly finally said, breaking the silence. Alex quirked up an eyebrow at her. She continued, “Alex, you make me nervous! Like, I’m afraid I’m gonna say the wrong thing and you’re gonna think I’m weird nervous. But I don’t want us to be like that. I’ve done that plenty of times and I always say the wrong thing and then it’s awkward for the rest of our friendship. I like you, Alex. You’re one of the most sincere and kind guys I’ve met, in my whole life. So I’ll level with you. I’m weird and I’m going to say some weird shit and you’re going to be okay with that.”

Alex stared at Polly, both eyebrows raised. It was the most he’d heard her say at one time. She could get chatty, but nothing like this. Plus, she was talking at a weirdly fast pace for Pollyanna. Polly’s normal speed was just below average, with a slight drawl to her words.

“Please say something,” she finally said, her brown eyes wide.

“I’m okay with you being weird. It doesn’t matter to me. And if you think something you say with make me want you gone, you’re so wrong. You know Cady and me. You know we’re not the most normal of people.”

Polly had to look away from Alex’s honest hazel eyes, at Otto who was snoozing on the doggy bed that Cady had bought for the pup. He was getting bigger and his fur was left soft, more coarse. Pollyanna’s runt of a puppy was growing up, and Polly wasn’t happy about it.

“Besides, in all honesty, I like you too. How could I not?” he asked. Polly glanced up just in time to catch his blush.

“Alright. I think it’s time for Truth.”

“Truth?” Alex asked, head cocking to the side slightly in confusion.

“Yes, sir. Me and my friends used to play it at sleepovers and lock-ins. It’s a good time. Trust me.”

“Alright. How do you play?”

“I ask you a question, and you answer it. If you don’t want to answer it, you have two options, pass or deflect it with your own question. You only get three passes. If you choose to deflect, and I don’t choose to answer then you win. Well, that’s one solution. Mimi always just deducted a point, even though there’s no points.”

“Alright. I think I understand,” Alex replied slowly, mulling the instructions over.

Polly grinned. Just the thought of Truth took her back to simpler days, to high school and earlier. To never having a boyfriend. To grades and best friends. It was so much easier back then, even if she hadn’t thought it at the time. She had wanted it to pass so quickly that looking back, she wished she had cherished those times.

“Here, I’ll start. I’ll ask you a question.”

Alex nodded.

“What did you want to go to college for?”

“I wanted, don’t laugh.”

“I won’t. I promise. Cross my heart,” Polly replied, drawing an X over her heart with her finger.

“I was going to be a geology major, specifying in environmental geology.”

“I can’t laugh at that. That’s a lot more important than what I was going for.”

“Which was?”

“Is that your question?”

“I suppose, yes.”

“Then I was a photography major with an art history minor.”

“Impressive,” Alex said with a nod. “I knew an art major and she absolutely hated it. Not so much her classes, that part she was in love with.”

“Work load,” Polly stated for him. He nodded.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“My turn!” Polly said, jumping slightly in her seat. She was quiet for a moment. “How’d you lose your virginity?”

Alex turned a bright red, all the way from his hairline to his collar. Polly sucked in her lower lip and clamped her teeth down in order to hold her laughs in.

“That was quite a jump,” Alex said.

“Yeah. That’s me. Sudden jumps. Now answer the question.”

“Fine. It was junior year. And stereotypically, it was at our junior prom. We’d been dating for 3 years so she told me she was ready. I told my mom that I was going to after prom and since her parents were out of town, we went to her house and I can’t believe I’m really telling you this!”

“Come on, we’re all friends here. No need to be embarrassed.”

“Well, I am. I’ve never told anyone about this. People just kind of found out. I didn’t have to explain it to anyone.”

“I didn’t know you back then so, spit it out. Was it as awkward as most first times are?”

“Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. I’ve only had one first time!”

Polly grinned.

“Alright, I’m satisfied. Your turn.”

“Who was your first boyfriend?”

“Easy. Chris Nicks, 3rd grade. We kissed on the playground as a dare and once he decided he liked me, he asked me out. We were on and off for a week and then he found Susie Lee. He was nice about it though, from what I remember.”

“Bet he was kicking himself later for that,” Alex responded.

“Nah. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember it.”

“I bet he does.”

Polly shook her head and played with her hair, thinking up a question.

“If you could have a single superpower, what would it be?”

“I’d want to be able to see invisible people.”

This stopped Polly in her tracks.

“Why?”

“Ah-ah. My turn.”

She rolled her eyes but gestured for him to go on.

“How’d you lose your virginity?” Alex shot back.

“I was 15,” she started. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. She didn’t seem like that girl, but he kept his comment to himself, waiting for the rest of her story. “My best friend, a kid named Josh, was dying of leukemia. He didn’t want to die a virgin, so I promised him that when he was ready, so was I. We talked about it for several hours before it actually happened. And while 15 is really young and my parents were pissed when they found out, I don’t regret it. I’d do anything for that kid. I miss him.”

She frowned and thought about Josh, and then the memories of their last few days together. He couldn’t even lift his head that last day. He looked frail, weak. Nothing like the Josh she’d known for her whole life. Not the Josh who would pick her up and throw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He’d stared at her with his sunken blue eyes, that sad look of realization washed over his pale skin. He’d never been so pale in his life. His parents swore he’d been tan since birth and pictures backed up their story. He’d pulled Pollyanna in for a kiss while his parents were out of the room, their last and had made her promise not to cry. She had, but not so Josh could see. She’d promised to be strong but when it came to it, Polly had cried for weeks and hadn’t been strong at all. She’d been sensitive for the next year or so.

Until Paul.

“Polly?”

“Right. Sorry. What did you say?”

“It’s your turn.”

“Right. Sorry. Uhm. Why the power to see invisible people?”

“I remember in high school. I liked this girl, a lot. And she wouldn’t have anything to do with me. And I wasn’t popular. I just felt, invisible. Can you imagine that? Feeling invisible constantly? I want to be able to see people who feel like that, or people who are literally invisible. I just think it’d be cool,” he finished with a shrug.

“That’s really cool, you’re right,” Polly replied.

Alex smiled and looked up at the ceiling.

“Who gave you that ring you wear on the chain?” he asked.

Polly froze.

“Uhm. A guy.”

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

“You don’t wanna talk about it. I see that. Uhm. I’ll take that as an answer,” Alex said, slightly disappointed. But he understood all the same. There are some things that are private and should be kept that way.

“Thank you, Alex.”

She yawned and looked at Otto, still asleep in his bed.

“Can I go take a nap in your bed?” she asked. “I haven’t slept in a bed in so long.”

“Go right ahead,” Alex replied. She got up and walked over to where he was sitting on the couch adjacent to hers. She pressed a kiss into his cheek.

“Thank you. Seriously. This was nice. Let’s do this again.”

She headed into his room and crawled under his sheets and fell asleep, her head resting on his pillow.