Obligated Hockey.

Dark.
Horrible.
Painfully confusing.
Swirling terror.
Ominously rising clouds from the bowels of hell.
Gut wrenching nausea.

Those were the only things that ran through his head as he held it in his hands and leaned over his half suited up knees. The pads felt endless as his elbow dug into them, it was as if he was floating in an icy river that was stabbing and digging into his already frozen skin. It wasn’t a feeling he was enjoying. He’d rather take a shot at his own goal tender in the Stanly Cup playoffs then continue to feel this way.

They made him put his heart on the table with how he felt about everything, and he had. His whole heart had been given to them when they’d talked about him being cleared for contact. Every last thing he’d told them, even how over his injured and reserved status he’d wished he’d had a girlfriend to make him feel better on the days his mind or body tormented him with the ‘maybes’, ‘could haves’, and ‘what ifs’. He’d been only half serious, yet they were talking it upon themselves now to make it a reality since they didn’t want his image to dig and be tarnished.

“Please.” He managed to choke out in a raspy whisper. The chatter around the room his ears had easily and subconsciously blocked filtered back in just before it faded away. “Please, tell me,” looking up with droopy eyes and nervously shaking limbs. “Tell me you’re joking.” He stated seriously. Everyone just stared at him. His teammates still getting undressed from practice seemed worried, terrified, and concerned about the situation.

“No.” Sidney wasn’t sure who had spoken but it shattered his world.

Slumping back into his stall he tried to breathe finding it absolutely impossible to do so as his vision went fuzzy. It was as if he’d been hit all over again at the Winter Classic. Everything tipped a touch sideways and refused to focus despite how quickly he blinked to steady his sight, his lung felt as if his ribs were pressing in and choking him internally.

Raising a hand he touched his floundering mouth to find no words were coming out, as if they were solid, and that all sound seemed to be bouncing off his ear drums in a muffled sound.

He felt like he was under water.

“Sid! This isn’t good for him!” He wasn’t sure who was yelling but he could see half the team for crowding around him. “You want him better? Well you’re making him worse!” Marc-Andre; that’s who was yelling in pure anger as others were fanning and shaking him to try and bring him back and get him to focus.

“He said he wanted one, and we agreed it would not only help his recovery but his image.”

“Does this looks like it’s helping him?!” Half the team yelled.

“I can’t breathe.” Sidney managed to choke out as his hands grasped at his teammates. “I don’t want, I don’t need…I don’t.” He managed as his vision focused and everyone came into view. Pulling back at how close Kris Letang was to him he swallowed nervously as the Frenchmen gave a sheepish, worried smile. “I was joking,” He stated. All eyes on him. “It was a joke. I don’t need, I don’t want, and I refuse to be a part of this sick experiment you’re trying. Find someone else. I’m just focusing on Hockey, I don’t need any other distractions.” He stated firmly.

“Decide that when you meet her. She should be here in a few minutes. So finish getting dressed.” With that the team was left alone.

“Does Mario know about this?” Sidney yelled like a lost, distraught child. It was his only effort to get them to leave him alone, if Mario didn’t know and didn’t approve he could- in a sense- appeal his chase and get it over turned. No match-made girlfriend he probably would even like in the slightest bit; inside or out.

Getting no response his shoulders dropped at the simple looked that was sent his way. Mario knew. How could Mario approve of this? Hadn’t they agreed on getting him healthy and back on the ice? In that order? Getting him a fake, girlfriend…or a real one, he wasn’t really sure what this woman was meant to be but he knew she would hinder his health and then his ability to make it back to the ice. At the moment he was debating claiming his injury would leave him off the ice for the whole next season just to get rid of the woman they were bringing in.