Half Wit

Note : This chapter is beta'ed and co-written with Jinxeh, if you're wondering why, the reason is simple. Her fictional band No Man's Land appears in this chapter and why not write it with the writer herself to make sure the characters are in line. Please check her story out, it's awesome and definately worth your time reading, now, on with the story!

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When Emelie and Andrea finally arrived at the small club in Oakland, they decided it would be fun to spend some time milling around in front of the stage, trying to talk to the bands as they set up their equipment for their respective sets.

Apparently Andrea was somewhat accustomed to doing this, since she’d made herself at home by taking a seat on the edge of the stage itself, and was already talking to the bassist of first band that was up. He grinned down at her as she went on and on, informing him that she just adored his makeup, and would love to learn how to do it herself.

Emelie hadn’t a single clue who this band was, and nor did she really care. When they stepped on stage they proved to put on a worthwhile performance, however, which was enough for Emelie to deem them as being rather good. Andrea, on the other hand, didn't really like the singing, claiming that the lead vocalist’s voice was rather high-pitched and irritating. Of course, some of this could be chalked up to the technical difficulties that the band seemed to be having with the microphone.

Although she didn’t explain why at first, Andrea chose to skip the next act and grabbed Emelie by her wrist, pulling her through the crowd until they stopped in front of one of the small, rather cramped merch booths. Three oddly-dressed men were setting up their own booth in hope that some of their fans might show some interest and stop to chat. They had yet to go on stage, but used the merch boot as excuse to waste time while they waited to set up their equipment—or at least that was how it went according to Andrea, as she whispered furtively into Emelie’s ear.

“Hey Curtis!” Andrea shrieked over the shouting of the crowd and the next band that had started playing. Emelie frowned and stood behind Andrea as one of the men turned around in surprise, his scruffy face then breaking out into a wide grin as he recognized the young girl. He waved her behind the counter, and the moment she was there she wrapped her arms around the man’s neck and gave him a hug.

It was something that the man, Curtis, gladly returned, and fervently so; Emelie found herself wondering if her friend could even breathe. Clearly, Andrea was rather familiar with the black-haired man, since after she pulled away she just leaned against him while he wrapped his arms around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder in a contented sort of way.

“Hey! Wearing our shirt with pride, aren't you, little chick?” another man asked, turning around and catching the last few seconds of all of this. He was a somewhat larger man, towering over Andrea (though not Curtis, who presided as both tall and almost alarmingly thin), large smears of black eye shadow smeared under each eye and a black porkpie hat resting upon his ginger-haired head. A moment later, he also receiving a hug from Andrea, who looked rather happy with seeing the men (even though the hug she shared with the rather large man was somewhat forced, since Curtis refused to let go of Andrea's thin waist).

“Of course, Kevin!” said Andrea brightly, beaming down at her black shirt, the words CREATURE FEATURE embellished on the front in dripping green lettering. Emelie just raised an eyebrow. “Oh, and guys? This is Emelie.” Andrea pointed at Emelie, who waved a little and didn't really move from her spot until the man whom she recognized as Curtis grinned and promptly pulled her in one of his hugs, leaving Andrea all alone for a few seconds.

“All right Emelie,” Andrea began, clearing her throat, “the one that has some affection towards you right now and who is hugging you is Curtis Rx.” The dark-haired man, whose impressive muttonchops were currently brushing against Emelie’s cheek, nodded cheerfully. “This guy here,” she continued, gesturing to the taller man behind her, “is Kevin—he’s their drummer.”

There was another man standing there beside Kevin, who had yet to offer a word into the conversation and instead seemed to resign himself to simply watching on in amusement. He seemed to be the most interesting, at least by Emelie’s standards. A striped, long-sleeved black and white shirt matched with his high socks, hidden from the knees and upward by faded black khaki shorts. Wild, curly black hair stuck up this way and that, small, dark eyes nearly hidden by the various curls that fell lightly into them from above. What really drew Andrea’s attention, however, were the shoes he wore – shiny, dark brown ones of an odd shape; elongated so that the very tips turned upward and curled, with glittering buckles fastened shut at his ankles. Almost instantly, Emelie felt herself falling in love with them, and pining for a pair of her own.

“Oh, right! And the one with his amazing shoes—” Andrea began, though she was swiftly interrupted by Curtis, who suddenly gave a bark of laughter, “—is Erik X; he plays the keyboards, and what is wrong with his shoes, Curtis? I love them!”

“Well hell, somebody has to. I swear, he bought those things from the Keebler Elves..." Curtis muttered, smirking.

“Oh…secretly you want the same shoes, admit it,” Andrea said, sticking out her tongue. Curtis only had a horrified expression in which to offer to her as a response.

“You can always borrow them from me if you want, Curtis.” Erik replied, trying and failing to suppress a chuckle.

“Uh, no thanks, Erik,” Curtis said, holding up his hands in front of his chest and taking a step backwards. Andrea giggled and shook her head at Curtis before she turned her eyes to the stage and saw that the next band was getting ready to perform. At least, some of the members were. Andrea bid a quick goodbye to the guys of Creature Feature and, once again, pulled Emelie towards the stage and back to their previous spot so they could see the next band better.

The moment the band reached the stage and found their rightful places, the cheers of the fans were almost enough to cause Emelie to go deaf. Almost squealing in excitement, Andrea leaned closer to Emelie, shouting the name of the band members in her ear.

“That is Jackie Flores—he's an androgynous, skinny little singer dude that a lot of people think is a woman, anyway. Not that he does much, if anything, in an attempt to disprove this theory. But he has his reasons I guess,” she laughed, shrugging slightly. Emelie noted the redhead that was the source of Andrea’s words; a tall, spindly figure clad in a crisp black suit, rather fried and obviously dyed hair almost as wild as that of Erik X. He did have a rather feminine appearance, Emelie noticed. “The band is pretty good, though. If you like the sort of music they make, anyway.” Andrea shrugged. Emelie frowned and nodded, looking at the band in front of her and taking in their appearances.

“Ooh! The bassist is Taffy White,” Andrea continued, pointing at the man who was standing still on stage left, quietly strumming the chords of his bass guitar. From what Emelie could see, he was a dark-skinned man whose hair was in rather messy dreadlocks. “On the drums we have Gerry Bryant—he’s kind of an old guy, but he knows his stuff. He has a daughter older than us. She’s pretty cool, though, and she’s their merch girl, I think.”

“And last, and probably least, Evan Wise. He's their cute guitarist,” Andrea said with a wink, suppressing a giggle and nudging Emelie in the ribs.

“It’s good to be here, tonight,” said Jackie Flores, slender hands clasping the microphone stand before him as he grinned down at the crowd. “After being on tour for almost a month with My Chemical Romance—” He paused, allowing for the cheers to suddenly escalate in pitch for a few moments, “—it’s actually rather nice to be playing these smaller venues again. Plus, that rat bastard Gerard Way isn’t here to steal my eyeliner anymore,” he added, sighing dramatically and putting the back of a willowy hand to his forehead just as the band’s rhythm guitarist and drummer launched into their first song.

Clearly, Jackie had quite a stage presence. The crowd was moving just the way he wanted with the first notes of their opening song, singing with the words as if their lives depended on it. Emelie had to admit that she was really enjoying herself, listening to the band and being under the spell of Jackie Flores.

She was left to look up in awe at the band performing live, all the while wondering why they still hadn't broken through to mainstream just yet. Then again, after touring with My Chemical Romance and Rise Against, their popularity was definitely rising day by day. The mystery around Jackie's gender and the effort the band clearly put into each one of their songs was amazing, taking Emelie back and making her feel small as she kept her eyes fixated on the stage. Next to her, Andrea was singing along with every word.

He was so…quirky, and feminine, this Jackie Flores. Yet at the same time, there was just enough masculinity left in his appearance and voice to leave room for doubt, either way. Emelie loved it, and found herself thoroughly enjoying the whole performance.

“Come on! They're getting off the stage!” Andrea yelled after the last song had ended, once again grabbing hold of Emelie’s arm. “If we're lucky, we can meet them! I occasionally stalk them anyway,” she said cheerfully, pulling her friend away from the stage as the band members walked off. A few minutes later, they found themselves standing behind the building with a few other stragglers, accompanied on either side by white tour vans and the workers that were currently busy hauling things to and from them.

It didn’t take long for the band to appear. Jackie was the first one to come outside, his clothing the same as it was on stage but for the towel he had wrapped around his neck and shoulders. His hair was still damp with the sweat he’d worked up on stage, meaning he seemed to enjoy the cool night air that hit him as soon as he stepped foot outside of the wide double doors.

The rest of the band quickly joined their lead singer, almost instantly signing scraps of paper and ticket stubs, and anything else that was handed to them with the trusty sharpies that they had come prepared with. By the time Andrea got to the front of the small group, she was almost dancing and jumping up and down in excitement. This didn’t seem to act as a deterrent for anyone in the band to act kindly to her. She hugged each member in turn (even Gerry, the drummer, which was surprising given his usually gruff disposition towards basically anybody) and beamed at them all brightly while complimenting their show that night. Luckily for her, the band members recognized her as 'the-crazy-stalker-chick'—at least, that was how Evan Wise addressed her.

“See, I knew you’d remember me! Oh, and this is the daughter of Billie Joe Armstrong, fellas, but she doesn't look like him, so…yeah, you make it out if she is or not,” Andrea said, rolling her eyes at Emelie, who sighed. Did she really have to bring up her lineage whenever she introduced Emelie to new people?

“Look, I told you I look like—” she began crossly, but was cut off by her friend almost instantly.

“Your mother? Yes, I know!” Andrea finished, rolling her eyes.

Evan and Jackie simply stared at the two girls for a shocked moment before exchanging an expression of equal bemusement. Taffy had already begun to laugh, perhaps enjoying the way Emelie's cheeks reddened slightly. Gerry wasn't even paying attention; he was too busy glaring at the roadie that was loading his precious drum set into the back of one of the equipment-hauling vans, speaking between gritted teeth as he warned the other man about what would happen if he harmed the drum set in any way.

"Nice to meet you, daughter of Billie Joe Armstrong," said Jackie finally, striding forward and extending a hand to her. She took it, all the while marveling at how slender his fingers were, and how pallid they appeared to be. They were almost translucent; she could see the veins just beneath his skin, and when she chanced looking all the way up to his narrow, somewhat angular face, she could see some similarities. Did he ever chance going out in the sun, she wondered?

"I've met your father before. Good man,” said Jackie, nodding. “And if it's any consolation, no one thinks that I'm my mother's child, though I greatly resemble my father..."

"Yeah, but the only reason we think she's not his mom is because he's awesome, whereas she's the Wicked Witch of the West," said Evan, nodding knowingly.

"Oh, see Andrea? It doesn't matter if I look like my father or not," Emelie said, looking smugly at Andrea, who glared slightly at the girl. "And please, call me Emelie. 'Daughter of Billie Joe Armstrong' sounds so...creepy."

"Really?" asked Jackie, obviously amused. "I dunno, I think 'daughter of Billie Joe Armstrong' has a nice ring to it, don't you?"

"Yeah!" said Evan excitedly, brushing some of his long, shaggy blond hair behind his ear and smiling broadly at the two girls. "It would be awesome if you would just go by that. We'd call you Dobja for short! Now come on, who else has an awesome nickname like that?"

"Thank god my father isn't here to hear this..." Emelie mumbled quietly.

"Dobja? I'm so calling you that from now on!" Andrea said between her fit of giggles, receiving a roll of the eyes from Emelie, who couldn't help but be amused by the enthusiasm of the band in front of her. She looked at Jackie and couldn't help but complement him on his performance of that night, telling him it had been one of the best she had seen in a while.

"Pft. Stop flirting with him, he's not interested," Andrea said with a yawn, causing the other girl to glance over to her with a shocked expression. What Andrea was saying wasn’t even true, but Emelie felt a blush rising in her normally pallid cheeks nevertheless.

"Aww, why'd you make her stop?" asked Jackie, a disappointed expression finding its way upon his pale features. "I mean, I don't date jailbait, but I don't mind a good ego boost every now and then..."

"See, this is what happens when a guy with low self-esteem finds himself as the lead singer of a somewhat famous band," Evan chuckled, winking at the two girls and causing them both to start blushing slightly all over again.

Evan Wise was a young man who probably didn't realize how handsome he could be, when he actually put some effort into his appearance. Shaggy blond hair fell to his shoulders, complimenting his short beard and somehow, his rectangular, black-framed glasses only made him look more distinguished...despite the goofy grin that usually managed to reside on his face. He was cute, Emelie could admit it.

"Is your dad here, Emelie?" Jackie asked. "I mean, I know you said he wasn't here, with you, but is he in the club or something?"

"No he isn't, he left on tour a few days ago. New album promoting and all that shit…" Emelie said, rolling her eyes and looking rather annoyed as she pouted. "I wasn't even allowed to go to the freakin’ record release party, sheesh."

"Yeah, leaving me without another person to analyze," Andrea added, sighing wistfully.

"Oh you've just been bored out of your skull ever since I told you not to eat the tree!" Emelie shot back. “I swear, was that your only hobby besides the analyzing thing, or something?”

"That was only one time! And I was hungry, okay?" Andrea crossed her arms in front of her chest and stomped her foot on the floor.

"Whoa, whoa, what?" Taffy White, the bassist for No Man's Land, turned his dreadlocked head in their direction once he caught the tail-end of this conversation, his eyes wide and his expression one of moderate confusion. He was currently signing a couple of autographs for some very excited fans that had just exited the club, but once he returned the scraps of paper and pens to the fans, he turned all of his attention to Emelie and Andrea. "Who tried to eat a tree? What?"

"Yay!" Evan shouted, hopping around on the balls of his feet in glee. "Taffy is asking a question in revulsion, and for once the question isn't about something I did! I feel special!"

"Let no one ever tell you that you aren't special, Evan," said Jackie sympathetically. "And you, weird stalker girl, why'd you try eating a tree? Besides for the obvious nutritional value, I mean."

"It was my pirate ship! I was being all elusive!" Andrea said, excited. Clearly she was all pumped up from seeing some bands live and didn't really care that her hair was sticking to her scalp, as she was covered with other people's sweat (since she had randomly left Emelie once or twice to go and get some 'mosh pit goodness,' as she had called it).

"You should be on Discovery Channel," Emelie said, giggling a little as she remembered what her friend had shouted down from her tree just the day before. Either there had been something wrong with her friend that day, or she had finally cracked. The latter was the most likely, but Emelie chose to believe the former.

"I missed Darwin, though," Andrea said in a sad tone. "So I ate the tree." Emelie thought it was just marvelous, how well Andrea was always able to ignore the odd glanced being aimed in her direction.

"Oh, don't worry—the tree is fine!" Andrea rolled her eyes. "It just has this little spot full of bite marks now, that’s all,” she said, nodding in assurance as Jackie looked down at her with a rather blank expression.

"Um, that's...nice," said Taffy, cocking an eyebrow. None-too-discreetly, he leaned in toward Jackie and Evan, whispering loudly, "Quick, what do I say to the crazy girl?"

"Just smile and nod, Taffy," Jackie confirmed, already beaming brightly at both of the girls while nodding his head in understanding. "Just smile and nod..."

After a little while more of talking with the band (Andrea and Jackie’s conversation mostly had to do with chicken-patterned bathroom tiles, for some unfathomable reason) Andrea and Emelie both bid their farewells to the band members, who were struggling to stay awake after the concert. They had signed several things and clearly enjoyed looking at Emelie's tattoos—scolding Andrea for not liking them since, according to Jackie, they were pieces of art that needed to be appreciated.

“I just don't like tattoos, all right?” Andrea shot to Jackie with a glare. The lead singer raised an eyebrow at the girl and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “And blame my parents for it if you want to blame someone, I'm only saying that I don't like them.”

“Oh, come on. We all know you'd want your own little tattoo somewhere, you're just not allowed to get one while you still live with your parents,” Emelie teased her. “I mean, I saw how you looked at my father’s tattoos and mine when you first saw them.” This only earned her a light hit on her shoulder from her friend, much to her amusement.

“At least I look like both of my parents.” Andrea kept the glare on Emelie, who shook her head and sighed. It didn’t really surprise her that Andrea would bring this up again.

“Come on, let's leave these guys alone and go watch Creature Feature,” Emelie laughed. “Don't forget we promised to be in the front when they're on stage.” This time, she was the one pulling Andrea with her, waving a little at the members of No Man's Land as they walked away. Sleepily, most of them waved back, even though Evan looked like he was about ready to collapse from exhaustion.

“Bye guys! See you next time! Good luck on the rest of the tour, all right? And get your ass back here as soon as possible!” Andrea yelled over her shoulder, before she was pulled in the club by Emelie. Evan blinked in surprise, and faced Jackie.

“She creeps me out,” he said, as Jackie nodded in agreement. “I like her!”