Half Wit

Emelie yawned, not really regretting that she was up so late but regretting the fact that she had left her bed in order to get to school. Her mother would've allowed her sleep in, calling her sick but the young girl had refused, telling her mother she would rather go to school. Of course this was before she realized that she had two hours of math after each other. Emelie sighed and shifted her back pack better on her shoulder before she felt slight buzzing in the pocket of her jacket.

She frowned and balanced her books on one arm before she struggled to get her cellphone out of her pocket, looking at the caller ID after she opened it. Emelie sighed, seeing that her father was calling her. She couldn't possibly pick up her cellphone right now could she. She was just walking in the school and on her way to her class. Standing still with her eyes fixated on the cellphone, Emelie rolled her eyes and pressed the green button and for once, not using the speaker function to talk to her father.

“If this is a call just to tell me you're bored out of your skull, forget about it, I got two hours of math coming up and that's even more boring that sitting around backstage,” Emelie said while slightly glaring at nothing and knowing her father wouldn't be able to see it anyway. Trying to balance her books on one arm didn't look as easy as it was, or at least, that's what she realized when she almost dropped them because she wasn't focusing.

“I'm fucking bored! Do something stupid!” Billie Joe whined on the other side of the phone, so loud even that Emelie had to hold the cellphone away from her ear for a few seconds, wincing at the loudness of his voice since it was still early in the morning. She hadn't drunk any coffee, much to her annoyance. Not that she didn't want to drink the hot drink but there was this little fact that she had overslept that morning and so, didn't have any time left to drink any.

“Want to go to math instead of me?” Emelie asked, raising an eyebrow even though her father was unaware of this. On the other side, Billie groaned and probably pouted as he didn't say anything for the next few seconds, making Emelie bite her lip to stop herself from laughing as she imagined him pouting in a corner while he was on the phone.

“Do you have a hot teacher for math?” Tré suddenly asked her back instead of answering to her question, making the young girl sighed and shake her head, knowing that she should have seen something like this coming.

“Damn it Tré! Stop hitting on her! You know she's my secret lover!” the voice from Mike came from the background making Emelie's eyes widen before she giggled a little, blushing as she received some odd glances from the people around her.

“No way Dirnt! Everyone knows she always had a crush on me!” Tré yelled to the background, making Emelie wonder if he even realized that she was hearing all of this.

“Oh shut up, you know that Emelie is jail bait to the both of you!” Billie Joe's voice said, clearly being the one back on the phone since his voice was louder than Mike and Tré, who were laughing loudly in the background at the annoyance of their friend.

Emelie wondered what the hell was going on back stage, hearing some yells and screams as her father didn't say anything before the phone shut itself off, probably from falling on the floor or something else Emelie didn't want to know about. She looked at the cellphone and frowned at it before shrugging and pocketing it again.

Walking in the classroom, the oldest daughter of Billie Joe Armstrong struggled with keeping her books in her arms as she stalked towards her regular seat next to Lou, who was napping, clearly unaware that her friend had just entered the room and that the teacher was on it's way to the classroom. Emelie sighed at her friend and shook her head, letting her books fall on the desk and so, waking the young girl who jumped up and looked around with wide eyes.

“Had a good nap?” Emelie asked with a smirk playing on her lips as she sat down next to Lou.

“Fuck off,” Lou said, yawning before she flipped Emelie of in a playful way and laid her head back down on her arms, closing her eyes and planning on sleeping some more.

“I need my fucking coffee,” Emelie muttered as she shook her head and watched as Lou fell back asleep next to her, perhaps a little jealous of the ability her friend had to fall asleep on random moments of the day. Lou muttered something under her breath that Emelie understood as 'pink tour bus' but she wasn't completely sure so she didn't think deeper on the subject.

She felt her cellphone vibrate for a few seconds before it stopped, making her realize that she had a text message.

Eeeemmmeellliieeee, your dad is trying to kill me here! How does your mother sleep with him when he's like this?

Emelie chuckled and shook her head, looking at the door and hoping that the teacher wouldn't enter in a matter of seconds as the quickly send back a reply.

Let me guess, Mike?

Either she was born for bad luck or her teacher had a bad timing as the older man entered just a few seconds after she had send the text message. Emelie sighed but didn't immediately pocket her cellphone. The teacher wasn't such a smart one and never realized that half of his class wasn't even listening, as he started his lesson, he didn't even take notice that Lou was still sleeping soundly even though his voice was rather loud and could wake anyone up.

How did you guess it was me? I thought I was being all incognito and all that shit!

Yeah, it was Mike alright. Emelie smiled to herself and shook her head before she quickly texted back, already used to sending messages during boring classes to her friends and so, knowing where the keys where without having to look too much and so draw attention.

Oh I don't know, perhaps because you're my personal stalker and Tré would be way to lazy to write out my name like that...

Emelie sighed and got out her books for math while she waited for Mike to reply, nudging Lou in the ribs to get her to wake up so she could follow the lesson, after getting a grunt as reply, Emelie just chose to leave the girl where she was.

You're still supposed to entertain me, not analyze me, that's your friend Andrea's creepy hobby..or whatshername again..I forgot.

Starting with a few new math definitions, the teacher lost the class on his first word but decided that he would still continue to ramble on even though it didn't interest anybody except Andrea who was sitting some benches in front of Emelie and Lou (being one of the last ones to enter, claiming she had been held up because of her craving for some good coffee) and notating everything that needed to be written down in some sloppy handwriting.

I'm sorry, I forgot that you were so bored out of your skull that you're dropping song references , try two hours of math like I told my dad already! Shouldn't you be practicing or sleeping right now?

Deciding it would be better if she wrote things down, Emelie grabbed her pen and started to note the important things on the blackboard.

Can't sleep, your dad snores too loud and Tré is singing in his sleep...

Emelie bit her lip, trying to keep in her giggle as she thought of Tré singing a random song in his sleep.

What song is he singing right now?

Smirking, Emelie looked at Lou and winked at Andrea who just looked over her shoulder to her two friends as to check up on them and to see if they were writing everything down, a little annoying habit she had. Her slender fingers picked up the pink colored marker planning on drawing on Lou but a new text message from Mike interrupted her.

Something that sounds a lot like Abba...oh goodie, your dad is awake!

Before she could text back however, she received another one, this time from her father. Emelie frowned and looked at her teacher quickly, seeing that his back was turned to the class just like 20 minutes ago before she opened the message.

Shouldn't you be paying attention to your math lesson? Mike says 'save me' by the way.

Not feeling like writing things down about X's and other unimportant numbers, if I want to find the X I'll hire some pirates to do so for me.

Emelie picked her marker up again and started to draw on Lou's face, who was still sleeping soundly even though the class couldn't stop talking together with the teacher who was trying to top the loud noise the class was making. All together, the atmosphere alone could give Emelie a head ache.

Just make sure they're staying away frommy eyeliner!

Giggling silently, Emelie shook her head at her father and wondered how late it was there for him since Mike said earlier that he had been sleeping.

Sometimes I really wonder who the female is between my parents...you or mom..

Deciding to continue with whatever she was doing before, Emelie picked up her pink marker and changed it for a bright yellow one before she started to draw further on Lou's face, deciding to try and make her face look all pretty before she woke up.

What are you doing anyway? If not paying attention to your teacher and texting me that is...

Emelie raised an eyebrow at her cellphone and sighed before quickly texting back before the teacher turned around.

Drawing butterflies and flowers on Lou's face, since she's sleeping and you're not entertaining enough for my complete concentration!

Is that the strange girl who keeps trying to possess me with her bad taste in music and merchandise?

Knowing that she had to expect that after she mentioned Lou's name, Emelie smiled a little, still tired and regretting the fact that she didn't say 'yes' to her mothers proposal of stopping at the local Starbucks, she was early anyway.

No that's the girl who keeps thinking she's a pony...of course its her, did you hit your head or something?

No but I did do what I always do during 'Hitchin' A Ride' last night!

Emelie laughed at the reply her father gave her, everyone knew that Hitchin' A Ride was one of his favorite songs to perform when he was in the mood.

Oh dear god...I've always thanked mom in my mind to send me to the bus whenever you were about to reach the bridge for that song...by the way, the girls behind me are giggling and telling me that they want your babies...

Like it helped much, your pony friend over there is doing a good job getting your mind in that gutter whenever she wants too!

Deciding that her father wasn't really worth spending all her attention to for more than a few seconds, Emelie started to draw on Lou's face again, hoping that she wouldn't wake up soon even though the young girl groaned before she turned her head around, only to face Emelie again in her sleep seconds later.

Oh yeah and did I mention,..I'm all by myself

Damn it Tré! Stop stealing my fathers cellphone!

Wwwhyyyy? Mike won't flip me off when I steal his!

Emelie sighed and shook her head, knowing that she should have expected at least one text message from Tré while she was talking to her father. Hearing the bell, she was saved from the first hour of math, only to be met with another hour. Thank god for them, the teacher decided to take a 5 minute break before he continued the lesson, which Emelie used to draw some more on Lou's face.

...All by myself...

Damn it Tré!

“What's happening?” Lou finally seemed to decide that she would have to wake up in order to follow either the math lesson or discover the reason for Emelie's giggling from time to time. The math teacher on the other hand, just kept on talking and explaining his lesson to the class, knowing well enough that he didn't have their attention but as long as he gave his lesson and got paid, what did he care?

“Cellphone hijacking over at the tour bus apparently...” Emelie frowned as she looked at her cellphone and the last message she had received after Tré's. Lou yawned and rubbed her eyes, stretching her arms above her head before she leaned over and looked at the little screen of Emelie's cellphone.

“Anything new except the fact that they're probably laying on top of each other now, trying to reach for the one cellphone that's laying a feet away from their reach...?”

Ha! I win

“Sometimes I really wonder what's happening on that tour bus when there's no woman around to make sure they don't do anything...creepy,” Emelie said frowning and looking at the cellphone.

“Kinky stuff?” Lou asked, frowning at Emelie and then looking innocent at the girl before she decided to get her books out for math and follow the lesson even though she slept until a half hour before the bell would ring.

“...I don't want to know,” Emelie shook her head before the phone made her jump up.

Eeeemmeeelliiiieeee!Your dad is...doing creepy things again!

“Clearly Mike won,” Emelie sighed and shook her head and told Lou to keep on guard, trying not to laugh at the sight of a Slipknot fan being clad in bright pink and yellow butterflies and flowers.

Creepy things like what? Humping the floor or Tré?...on second thought, don't answer that, I'm not sure I want to know...

Lou raised her hand in the class which was probably the first person to answer to a question except Andrea since clearly she was enjoying these two hours of math. Emelie frowned at her friend in front of her and wondered how she could survive these hours since she was already bored out of her skull after entering the class. Looking at her watch, she was glad to see that it was almost time for the bell to ring, only a few more minutes of this torture and she would be free.

Well actually he's grossing us out again by eating banana dipped in garlic sauce!

...yeah... oh what do you know...my math class is just over! Bye guys...

“Please tell me you weren't sending text messages to your father and his friends the whole time,” Andrea said, frowning and looking at Emelie who pocketed her cellphone and looked smug at her friend who glared at her.

“Mike started!” she said in her own defense, holding up her hands in front of her as to shield herself from Andrea's glare but knowing that it wouldn't work anyway.

“Sure he did, anyway, did you pay attention at all or not?”

“...did we just spend two hours trying to find the X in the calculation?” Emelie asked, hoping that Andrea would say yes and she would be saved.

“You're so lucky we've been spending the past few days on the same things, I didn't really feel like saving your ass so you barely pass again,” Andrea glared at Emelie, standing so close to her that Emelie could feel her warm breath on her face before the girl poked her friend and walked back away again.

“Wow...don't tell you were all trying to be mafia on my ass just now,” Emelie said, raising an eyebrow at Andrea who blinked several times at her and then sighed, knowing that it was a hopeless cause.

“I will if you fail this class and have to redo your year!” Andrea tried again, knowing that it wouldn't even help to somewhat make Emelie realize that she should study for the course and pass. “Or are you trying to fail math on purpose?”

“Probably the latter more than the former,” Emelie nodded, thinking about it, the teacher didn't like her already so even if she studied, she would probably fail anyway. Andrea shook her head and opened her locker, putting in her notes carefully so she wouldn't drop them or they wouldn't fall out next time she would open the little closet.

Emelie on the other hand just grabbed her book and threw it in the locker, being relieved that she had 1 less book to carry around with her in her overloaded arms. Lou often reasoned with her to put all her books in her locker and then just get those out she needed to have for the next class but Emelie reasoned back with saying she would forget to get her books and so, being left without a book for the next classes, only getting more in trouble with the teachers.

“Oh by the way Lou? Nice cheek, didn't know you were into fake tattoo's,” Andrea said, winking at Emelie before Lou looked rather confused and opened her locker, looking into the small mirror that was attached to the door for some reason Emelie didn't really want to know.

“Emelie! You bitch! I'm so getting you for this!”