When Light Dies, Darkness Awakes

I woke up rather early this morning, and I wasn’t too happy about it considering it was a Saturday. I walked outside to see my Dad smoking a pink cigarette. I sat next to him and raised one eyebrow.

“What Ren?” he asked.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” I said.

“I don’t, that’s why I’m holding one of Reia’s pink cigarettes. Well, typically I don’t smoke, but I kind of need it right now.” He said.

“Why?” I asked.

“You’re step-mother; Vonia wants me to marry her.” He said.

“Why don’t you? She stuck by you, even when you were in that coma for eleven years.” I said.

“I don’t believe it marriage, I don’t think you need a piece of paper to say you love them.” He said.

I rolled my eyes and said, “You have commitment issues.”

“So do you, Ren.” He said.

“If it’s just a piece of paper to you, then just sign it.” I said.

“She cheated.” He said.

“So did you.” I said.

“Why do you even care? You don’t like her Ren.” He said.

I sat there silently and pushed my fingers through my messy bed hair and then pulled it a bit and sighed. I looked over at my Dad who was already dressed and ready as if he were going somewhere. It’s five in the morning, yet, he looks wide awake. He sat there calmly, smoking the pink cigarette as if it was just another day. He had on ripped jeans and a thin gray shirt. His dark hair was styled differently, but I do always remember him changing his hair. I don’t think he’s changed at all, no, he never got the chance.

“Ren, why don’t you date Kari?” he asked after a long exhale.
I didn’t say anything. Is he getting even for what I said?

“I know you like her a lot Ren. Well, I know you probably love her. Do you know that when you were little you were insanely attached to her? By the looks of it you are now as well. I remember how you always had to have her sitting next to you.” He chuckled and took another long inhale of the cigarette.

“How about instead of dating girls like Emi, you date a girl you actually care about?” he asked.
I laughed.

He looked at me curiously.

“Did you know the people who get hurt the most are the ones you care about? Do you know why? It’s because you always end up being the one who hurts them the most. Regardless of meaning to or not, you are always the source of most of their pain. If we where to say I was…in love with Kari, it would be selfless of me to just leave her be. I can still support her and be there for her without being her lover. It would be selfish of me to go after her because I know I’m capable of hurting her. I don’t want to do that.” I said.

“Ah, but you’ll end up driving yourself insane the longer you wait. You should know they never wait for you forever. One day she’ll meet a guy that sweeps her off her feet, and you’ll be left wishing you would have made a move sooner. You can listen to me or learn the hard way, it’s up to you kid.” He said and then put out the cigarette on the ground before walking back inside.

I sighed and walked back in and into the kitchen. I saw Vonia sitting there going through wedding magazines, and going through a photography book full of wedding crap.

Her short blonde hair had grown a bit longer, and her pale like skin was slowly regaining its color. Her hair still looked pretty unhealthy though and the dark circles under her eyes seemed to have grown darker. I noticed she was wearing a much fitted shirt and jeans. It looks like she’s back to actually trying to look good for Dad.

“Why don’t you just marry him?” I said as I stood there in front of the table.

She looked up from the table with a forced smile and said, “He doesn’t believe that paper proves we love each other.”

“That’s not what marriage means to you though.” I said.

She sighed.

“It’s kind of pathetic.” I said.

Her grayish silver eyes widened when she heard me say that.

“Look, you stuck by him all this time, and all he did was cheat.” I said.

“I cheated on him while he was in a coma, and he forgave me. I don’t think I’m any better.” said Vonia.
“You never cheated on him while he was awake and with you. Now he’s awake and going out all the time while you sit here and wait on him. You want to marry him, but he won’t marry you. You’ve wanted to have that dream wedding, with the big pretty ring. You’re a girl, that’s what a girl wants, but he won’t ever give it to you. You know he’s probably already cheated on you again, men get drunk you know. It’s just so fucking pathetic.” I said shaking my head and grabbing an apple from the fridge and taking a bite out of it. I turned to look at her from the side.

Her eyes were full of water and slowly but surely a tear drifted down her face.

“He loves me, and I love him.” Vonia said.

I couldn’t help but to chuckle and say, “Sometimes love isn’t enough, even I know that.”

I turned to see Kari standing there; she simply turned around and walked away.

I walked into my room to see her in my bed and comfy in the blankets. Her hair had covered her face…
I sat at the edge of the bed and began to slowly push away her hair.
Is she pretending to sleep because of what she saw me do?

I pulled my shirt off and scratched my head before leaning down and lightly pulling Kari’s head up. I slowly, but surely, and definitely hesitantly kissed her soft lips. Her light blue eyes went wide and her small hand placed itself on my cheek. I suddenly found my blue eyes staring deeply into her light blue ones, and her light blue ones staring back as if an angel had been seen.

When I felt reality beginning to click in again I broke the eye contact and dashed off into the bathroom to get ready.
God. I can’t imagine ever being without her. She’s just about the only girl that gets my heart racing- it makes me feel like I’m going to fucking die.

I walked out of my room to see Jayden putting his shoes on.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’m going on a date with Mom.” said Jayden with a cheesy smile.

“Incest now?” I said.

His smile fell. “You know what I mean.” said Jayden.

He then walked off into the kitchen.

I went over to the couch and sat down and began to think of my Mom. Why is it he gets everything in life and all I get is shit?

I noticed my Dad’s phone was on the coffee table. I looked around to make sure no one was coming or near and then I grabbed it.

I wonder if he still has my Mom in it, Nadia.

I scrolled down the list and saw her name. My eyes widened and I quickly clicked it and sent the picture of her to my phone and then deleted the sent message. I placed the phone back where it was and walked out of the house.

I looked at the picture and just stood there surprised. She had black hair with pink streaks and piercings…

By the looks of it I took after her…

I don’t know why, but I couldn’t help but to smile at the idea of both my parents being attractive and having me. I don’t know. I guess it just boosted my confidence further. I mean you really can’t go wrong when you and the person you have a kid with his highly attractive.

I went over to my friend Troy’s house shortly after and played some video games with him while he talked on and on about his girl who is now is ex. I don’t know why, but when a guy gets dumped he just can’t shut himself up from talking shit, and they never get tired of it.
Trust me; it annoys the hell out of me after awhile.

“Is there any parties tonight?” I asked interrupting him from his venting.

“Ah, yeah man. I was thinking we’d just go to the big club down town.” said Troy.

“Can you get us in?” I asked.

“Well, duh dude. I’m dating Sherry.” said Troy.

“The girl that’s the same age as my Mom? Cool.” I said sarcastically.

“Okay, yeah dude, she’s older, but it gets me into places.” said Troy.

“So is she your girlfriend or your toy?” I asked.

“She’s my girlfriend when I’m around her.” said Troy laughing.

I shook my head and began to laugh myself.

“Okay dude.” I said.

Around nine at night, about six of us squeezed into a car and made our way to the club.

We of course got in with ease, and Troy’s ‘girlfriend’ spent the entire time checking me out. Later on I found myself making out with twins- don’t ask me how I did it. I have no fucking idea.

When it hit midnight I sat down and some girl in hooker heels kept on bringing me alcohol and talking about lingerie, and how I should come over and see it all. After about an hour another girl came and pushed her off me and sat right next to me and turned my face to look at her randomly.

“You have really amazing blue eyes, it reminds me of the man I loved.” She said with a smirk.

She had a manroe nose piercing and when she stuck her tongue out at me I saw a tongue piercing. She had a toxic laugh that got you laughing even though what she was saying wasn’t funny at all.

Her hair was black with pink streaks and it barely passed her shoulders. I felt my body freeze up as I remembered the picture. In the picture my Mom looked younger and her hair was longer, but other than that they look exactly alike. I could tell she was one of those girls. She’s good with men, and she knows how to make them want her. None of this would really work on me though... for one reason alone. She reminds me of my Mother.

I couldn’t help but to admire her though, she was just way too impressive. She is without a doubt older than me, but it doesn’t matter. She probably gets men of all ages coming after her…

She’ll probably become unappealing to guys my age once she hits forty – that’s saying a lot.

“I just can’t stop staring at those eyes of yours. Do you mind if I ask your name?” She asked with a charming smirk like smile.

I somehow felt rather uncomfortable. I feel like my Mom’s hitting on me and it’s scary.

“I’m Ren.” I said in a low monotone.

Her eyes widened.

“How old are you?” She asked.

“Eighteen, why?” I asked.

Her eyes glowed as if she was seeing someone she hadn’t seen in years.

She caressed my cheek warmly and said, “I knew my son would end up being the most handsome, and getting all the ladies so easily. It’s not too often you grow up to be a loser when your parents are so outgoing and desired.” She said confidently.

My eyes widened.

Is she saying I’m her son? Is my Mom alive? Has my Mom really been here all this time and I just never knew? I…I…I don’t know what to do right now. My body’s frozen.

“Are you living with Nate? Daddy?” She asked as she caressed my cheek a little harder now.

I could see the desperation start to appear in her eyes. It was as if I was the golden ticket to finding the man she loved.

Could it be she missed me too? Not just him? I’m her kid after all right? I mean…she never really…was there for me…