Stupid and Fearless

Landon

“It’s going to cost how much to fix the guitar?” Jack asked me.
I sighed.
“Jack, I know that it’s a lot of money, but that guitar needs to be fixed ASAP. There’s nothing I can do to help fix it, I’m sorry,”
Jack grumbled.
“It’s fine,”
I simply nodded and turned away from him. I walked as quickly as I could. Jack and I have a rocky friendship. It’s been that way ever since Carson left. Alex and Jack went back to being best friends straight away afterward, of course. I didn’t expect Alex to stay mad at Jack for forever. I just wish that he had waited longer to forgive him. I forgave Jack a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean that we’re going to get close ever again. He won’t be that close to me unless he and Carson bury their hatchet. However, I don’t think any of us are ready for that to happen. That would include another world war, which would result in a few dead bodies. So, we never let those two near each other. I know that’s going to be harder with the fact that my sister is coming on tour, and she’s bringing someone. I don’t know who, but I can almost promise that it’s a boy.
I huffed and adjusted the hat on top of my head. I had to go drop off Jack’s guitar for an emergency fix. The guitar place said that they would fix it correctly and quickly, but it cost around three thousand. Matt told me that he didn’t care the cost, as long as it got fixed by tonight’s show, so I had too. I needed to find Alex though. He had to go with me, because not only are we dropping off the guitar, but we have to pick up Carson and her friend later. I didn’t want to be alone when they were both in the car with me. I couldn’t exactly handle that, but it’s okay. Alex agreed to go with me anyway.
“Alex?” I called, stepping into the bus.
His head poked out of the bathroom, and a smile spread widely across his face.
“Hey, Butterfly. What’s up?”
“I was informing Jack about his baby,” I rolled my eyes. “We’ve got to get that guitar to the repair shop right now or we won’t have it back in time for the show.”
“I was getting ready,” He pouted.
I rolled my eyes.
“You really need to be ready right now. We’ve got to go, Lex. We’re on a tight schedule, babe.”
“I know,” He rolled his eyes before he went back into the bathroom to finish is precious, dyed blonde hair. I took a seat on the front lounge. I studied my nails. I just got them done yesterday. The glitter made me smile. I’m a huge glitter girl. I love glitter. Some people would call it an obsession, I call it a love. Oh well, they can call it whatever they want too. The point is, that I love it. So I got a lot of glitter on my black nails. “You look pretty today,”
I jumped at the sound of his voice before looking up at his face.
“Thanks,” I smiled widely. “I had time again today. Ya know, I really like these days where I sleep in and you guys set up my booth for me. I get my sleep, and I get to dress pretty,”
“You look pretty in anything,” He rolled his eyes.
I giggled.
“Thank you, Mr. Suck Up,”
“Come on, we’ve got a guitar and sister to take care of,” He smiled at me. I nodded, and reached for his outreached hand. I laced our fingers together quickly, and squeezed his hand. He smiled down at me, causing a slight blush across my cheeks. I cursed myself under my breath. I hate when he makes me blush. I feel all vulnerable and shit. Don’t get me wrong, I love when Alex looks at me with that love-sick teenage look, but I’m still Landon. I’m the same girl that was afraid of commitment when I was a teen. Not that much has changed with me. Sure, I’m definitely more confident in a self-assurance sort of way, and not in a slutty way. I haven’t been with anyone else since I’ve been with Alex. I’m committed to him and only him. I just still have my insecure moments like every other girl in this world. “What’s going on in your head?”
“I’m just thinking, smart ass,” I laughed. “I have a whole lot more going on up here than you have going on in that noggin of yours,”
“Ha-ha.” He rolled his eyes, pulling me toward the exit of the venue. I didn’t even see Alex pick up Jack guitar, but I only realized that he did when we reached a rental car, and Alex threw it in the back in a non-gentle way.
“Alex!” I hissed. “His guitar is already screwed up! I don’t want it to mess up even more!”
“Sorry?” He shrugged, going around to the passenger side to open the door for me. I hoped in, and he shut the door before running over to his side. He slipped in, and smiled at me. “Are you ready, Butterfly?”
“What do you have planned?”
“Um…let’s just go hang out somewhere in town, and get some food before we have to pick her up,”
“We have the guitar shop too, Alex.”
“I know. We’ll drop it off first,”
“It would’ve been nice if you didn’t leave that part out,” I joked with him lightly.
The car was silent for around five minutes before Alex eventually spoke up.
“So…how are you doing?”
I nibbled on my lip.
“You don’t have to ask me every day, Lex…”
“I do, Landon. I worry about you,” He stated, stealing a small smile for me to see.
“Well, I’m doing…okay,” I stated awkwardly. “I haven’t…done anything bad in a while, so that’s a huge improvement,”
“That’s good,” Alex added. “I love you. I’m so freaking proud of you for doing what you are doing. Not many people have that courage to do it either,”
“I realize this,”
“I just…those three months without you nearly killed me. I just wish that you would’ve at least like…called or left a note that you were leaving instead of you just…going away. It scared me to death. I thought I had lost you twice. I honestly never want to feel that way again,”
“I-I didn’t have a choice. You know that I didn’t,”
“I know,” He sighed. Alex picked up my left hand, and left a soft kiss on my back hand before he limply weaved his fingers through my own. “I just wish that I never let it get that bad,”
“You’ve gotta stop wishing for something in the past,” I cooed softly. “Baby, you know that won’t ever happen. We’re living right here and right now. We can do whatever we want to. Stop wondering about it. It. Is. Finished.,”
Alex’s worried glance turned into a small smile.
He nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right,”
“I know that I am, babe,” I smirked at him.
“I just…I will never know how hard that time in your life was for you. I didn’t see you suffering until it was nearly too late. I’ve never seen you so….dead-looking before. I thought you were actually going to die.”
“You and me both,” I nearly whispered.
“If you ever feel like you can’t do this anymore, you’ve gotta let me know,”
“Touring didn’t bring it on, Alex.”
“I know that it didn’t, but…I still worry. I have to ask,” He muttered, pulling into an empty parking space. “I am proud.”
“I am too,” I agreed with a small smile. “Let’s go get some grub,”
Alex chuckled, but agreed, and we exited the car.

♥

“Thanks for the food,” I laughed, whipping my lips clean. We decided to stop at a nearby restaurant so that we could eat for a pretty good price. “It was good,”
Alex smirked at me.
“I told you that it would be, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but you’re also the same guy who thinks My Chemical Romance has talent,” I rolled my eyes.
“That’s cause they do!”
“I have to disagree,” I shrugged.
“You’re a bitch!” He laughed.
“No, I just have strong opinions. That’s all,” I replied. Alex shook his head, and gripped my hand tightly as we walked downtown. “Do you want to go shopping now or?”
“We still have plenty of time before we have to pick up your sister from the airport,”
“So now,” I decided, pulling him toward a store that I saw down the street. It turned out to be an Urban Outfitters. I’m not the biggest fan of the store but I found a few cute shoes, and jeans before Alex and I decided to head back toward the car. We got in, and he pulled out slowly before taking a glance at me. “Are we picking up the guitar before or after we pick up Carson?”
“After. It’s closer to the venue that we are now,” He shrugged, heading toward the nearest airport.
To say I was nervous might have been an understatement. I didn’t know who Carson was bringing with her, or even if this person is a male. I could take a wild guess at the gender, but that doesn’t exactly calm my nerves. I know that the second Carson and Jack run into each other, World Ward Three is going to break out. If anything, Carson is even feistier than she used to be. She’s worse in some ways, and better in others. She’s not as bubbly, I guess you could say. One wrong word, she could tear Jack to pieces. He wouldn’t stand a chance.
“I know this won’t end will, Alex.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I’m almost positive that the person she’s brining is a guy,”
Alex shrugged.
“I don’t really care what happens,”
“Well, that’s a little mean,” I stated, crossing my arms. “Why?”
“It’s not my business, and it’s honestly not really yours either,”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you’re putting your nose in her business. You’re going to have to let your sister be when she gets here. Don’t get into her personal life too much,”
“She’s my twin…”
“It doesn’t matter, babe, and you know that. Carson doesn’t get into your personal life, don’t get into hers,”
I groaned, and laid my head against the headrest.
“I really fucking hate when you’re right,” I grumbled.
“You hate when anyone else is right besides you,” He rolled his eyes. I playfully punched his arm before crossing them over my chest.
The rest of the ride was silent. My mind ran off, and started to think about the things of the past. Alex and I don’t like our past half of the time. We’re stronger now as a couple, but a year or so ago, we were nearly crumbling. Our relationship has always been slightly dysfunctional. He started out as just my annoying step-brother into my lover and then my boyfriend. From my boyfriend, he became too attached to me, and I freaked out. We went from being really close, to me leaving him. It may have seemed worse for me, but I was really hurting too. When Alex got back from that tour, we decided to fix a few things. We got our relationship back on the right track.
Then I caused a huge speed bump in our love life. I had to leave him again. This time, it was forced instead of intentional. Alex didn’t lose hope in us, either. That surprised me. He visited me as often as possible, and I will never forget that. He was so supportive, and he still is to this day. As soon as I was able to go home again last year, we moved in together. I needed him more than ever before, but he was glad to assist. About six months ago, he proposed to me. I couldn’t say no to him at all. He looked so cute and nervous when he asked me. He put a lot of planning into it, even if the proposal was very simple. I felt a smile tug on my lips just thinking about it.
“We’re here, Butterfly,” Alex called.
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him.
“What?”
“We’re at the airport,” He laughed, rolling his eyes. “Come on, we’ve gotta get in there quick.”
“Okay,” I nodded dumbly, and watched as he started to move quickly. It took a minute before I realized that I wasn’t moving. I started to get out quickly, and I latched my hand onto Alex’s rough one. We jogged toward the airport. I saw this huge crowd of people walking out, and I bounced on the balls of my feet. I haven’t seen my sister in about seven months. Even thought we designed together, most of it happened over the phone and through e-mails. It’s been a while since we’ve had an actual face to face conversation. I got even more excited when I saw a head of bleached blonde hair heading our way.
“Calm down, Lan. She’ll get here,” He promised.
Almost instantly, Carson appeared, and I barely noticed the tall, tattooed guy behind her. My sister dropped her bags and ran to me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her.
“OH MY GOSH! I MISSED YOU!” I shouted in her ear, but I don’t think she minded all that much.
“Me too!” She agreed with a laugh.
We pulled apart to take a good look at each other. I smiled widely when I saw that she had added more to her shoulder tattoo. Her hair was long, but I assumed that it was because of hair extensions, like I had in. My hair was just a little below my shoulders, but now it’s nearly to my waist. She was wearing a lot of black, which I almost expected now. It was like we shared the same closet. I guess that’s why we work so well on our couture line. We have the same taste in clothing now.
“You look fantastic!”
“You look scrawny!” She giggled. “I mean, seriously! I missed you so much, Landon.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around my sister once more before pulling away.
“I can’t believe that you’re actually here. Thank you so much for coming on such a short notice,”
“It’s not like I had anything else better to do,” The girl rolled her eyes. “Hey, Alex,”
Alex smiled and wrapped his arms around her in a quick hug.
“Hey, Cars. Who’s the tall, scary dude you brought with you?” Alex asked, looking at me.
The tattooed man smiled sweetly at us.
“I’m Ronnie.”
Carson rolled her eyes.
“Okay, Ronnie, this is Landon Owens, my twin, and Alex Gaskarth. He’s her fiancé. Alex and Landon, this is my boyfriend, Ronnie Radke,”
I furrowed my brows.
Boyfriend?