Unsent Letters
To My Dear Oblivious Friend:
My Dear Friend,
I have missed you for a year now. Our once strong friendship has somehow fallen apart, and now become nothing. I regret to inform you that now I will no longer be able to withstand the heartache of chasing something that has clearly died long ago.
Forgive me if I come across as offensive. I do not mean to be cruel with my words, My Friend. However, I have been deeply wounded by your actions and cannot hold back my emotions any longer, if only for your blind and unknowing sake! Remember who has been there for you at any hour of the night when your love life found difficult times, and who answered the phone at midnight, when the ‘love of your life’ didn’t say “I love you” before he hung up the phone. Remember who has never once judged you, even when you passed unnecessarily cruel, and endless judgment on me for nothing more than my differences to you. And also, my dear and clueless friend, remember who has loved you unconditionally since the very start, held you when you cried, humiliated myself when you were the center of unwanted attention, and still continued to break her own heart to comfort you even after you refused to even acknowledge my existence.
Last night was my breaking point. I cannot stand another knife in my back, or gash in my heart, for my heart bleeds enough for our lost friendship every day of my life. I will never heal, and you continue on with you life as if nothing happened. You truly are so blind that you cannot see what it is that you are doing. And when this love interest of yours finally ends, and you are left shattered and alone, freezing from the inside out, with a broken and dying heart, I pray you remember me. For I will be nothing more than that memory I will not reclaim you as my own, after all that you have done. Your sins against me cannot be forgiven so easily now.
I traveled to your home, and poured my soul into seven pages for you to understand. I cried for hours while writing that letter, praying with all that I have, and hoping beyond anything I have ever hoped for before that you would open your eyes and see. When I saw your tears, I cried with you, even if you couldn’t see it. When you embraced me again, after a year of silence and malice, I felt true and genuine happiness for the first time in such a long time, that I had forgotten what that joy felt like. I had been cold to the world, until that day. And for one day, I smiled, and laughed, and I danced and felt warm again, and free.
And it was all a lie from you. A cruel, and heartless act! I begged for no more than ten minutes of your time, so that we may discuss our friendship. You promised me that. You promised me that you would at least listen, after I have opened up my heart to you, leaving myself vulnerable to the worst forms of pain and torture, for you! Knowing that you had the power to kill me then and there, in that moment. Knowing that you could with one word destroy me completely, I took that risk! But you shattered me with even less than a word. You met my plea with a broken promise, and silence.
And yet you cry for yourself? You left in tears, saying that I was in the wrong? That I am the one who hurt you! How dare you victimize yourself in such a way when you are the one bearing weapons against our hearts! It is you who severs the ties with all that love you!
I admit now, I do want you to suffer. I do want your heart to ache again, and remember what it felt like when you were abandoned and forgotten. Because in your fear of abandonment, you are inflicting that very pain on the hearts of anyone who has ever cared about you. In your life now there is but one that you notice. And he will not be there for you for the rest of your life, as we would have. As we still may, should you open your eyes for even a moment and see our tears.
I cried for hours today, as you walked away from me for the last time. Tears of sorrow, of frustration, and above all, anger.
You, my idiot friend, my oblivious, ignorant, love stricken, beautiful friend, Must Wake Up! And when you do, you will feel pain. You will spill your tears again, and you will feel sorry for yourself. But you will feel what we all feel, or at least that is my hope.
I am done hoping for your love. I have left you today, and will not attempt to speak with you again until you come to me with an apology. I don’t ask for you to come to me and say the words “I’m sorry”. I demand you to come to me with the realization of your betrayal against me, and in genuine honesty, apologize. Only then, will I feel I am able to trust you again, for now I cannot. My faith in your words has been destroyed with my heart this time.
I ask for no reply. In fact, I ask that you don’t reply at all until that day.
Goodbye, my friend. Enjoy your blind, blissful life in love and happiness. As long as you are happy with yourself, I cannot wish malice against you. My love is too great. I will be waiting.
~Elizabeth.
I have missed you for a year now. Our once strong friendship has somehow fallen apart, and now become nothing. I regret to inform you that now I will no longer be able to withstand the heartache of chasing something that has clearly died long ago.
Forgive me if I come across as offensive. I do not mean to be cruel with my words, My Friend. However, I have been deeply wounded by your actions and cannot hold back my emotions any longer, if only for your blind and unknowing sake! Remember who has been there for you at any hour of the night when your love life found difficult times, and who answered the phone at midnight, when the ‘love of your life’ didn’t say “I love you” before he hung up the phone. Remember who has never once judged you, even when you passed unnecessarily cruel, and endless judgment on me for nothing more than my differences to you. And also, my dear and clueless friend, remember who has loved you unconditionally since the very start, held you when you cried, humiliated myself when you were the center of unwanted attention, and still continued to break her own heart to comfort you even after you refused to even acknowledge my existence.
Last night was my breaking point. I cannot stand another knife in my back, or gash in my heart, for my heart bleeds enough for our lost friendship every day of my life. I will never heal, and you continue on with you life as if nothing happened. You truly are so blind that you cannot see what it is that you are doing. And when this love interest of yours finally ends, and you are left shattered and alone, freezing from the inside out, with a broken and dying heart, I pray you remember me. For I will be nothing more than that memory I will not reclaim you as my own, after all that you have done. Your sins against me cannot be forgiven so easily now.
I traveled to your home, and poured my soul into seven pages for you to understand. I cried for hours while writing that letter, praying with all that I have, and hoping beyond anything I have ever hoped for before that you would open your eyes and see. When I saw your tears, I cried with you, even if you couldn’t see it. When you embraced me again, after a year of silence and malice, I felt true and genuine happiness for the first time in such a long time, that I had forgotten what that joy felt like. I had been cold to the world, until that day. And for one day, I smiled, and laughed, and I danced and felt warm again, and free.
And it was all a lie from you. A cruel, and heartless act! I begged for no more than ten minutes of your time, so that we may discuss our friendship. You promised me that. You promised me that you would at least listen, after I have opened up my heart to you, leaving myself vulnerable to the worst forms of pain and torture, for you! Knowing that you had the power to kill me then and there, in that moment. Knowing that you could with one word destroy me completely, I took that risk! But you shattered me with even less than a word. You met my plea with a broken promise, and silence.
And yet you cry for yourself? You left in tears, saying that I was in the wrong? That I am the one who hurt you! How dare you victimize yourself in such a way when you are the one bearing weapons against our hearts! It is you who severs the ties with all that love you!
I admit now, I do want you to suffer. I do want your heart to ache again, and remember what it felt like when you were abandoned and forgotten. Because in your fear of abandonment, you are inflicting that very pain on the hearts of anyone who has ever cared about you. In your life now there is but one that you notice. And he will not be there for you for the rest of your life, as we would have. As we still may, should you open your eyes for even a moment and see our tears.
I cried for hours today, as you walked away from me for the last time. Tears of sorrow, of frustration, and above all, anger.
You, my idiot friend, my oblivious, ignorant, love stricken, beautiful friend, Must Wake Up! And when you do, you will feel pain. You will spill your tears again, and you will feel sorry for yourself. But you will feel what we all feel, or at least that is my hope.
I am done hoping for your love. I have left you today, and will not attempt to speak with you again until you come to me with an apology. I don’t ask for you to come to me and say the words “I’m sorry”. I demand you to come to me with the realization of your betrayal against me, and in genuine honesty, apologize. Only then, will I feel I am able to trust you again, for now I cannot. My faith in your words has been destroyed with my heart this time.
I ask for no reply. In fact, I ask that you don’t reply at all until that day.
Goodbye, my friend. Enjoy your blind, blissful life in love and happiness. As long as you are happy with yourself, I cannot wish malice against you. My love is too great. I will be waiting.
~Elizabeth.