Cobwebs

The stress that had disappeared as soon as my eyes had slipped closed the previous day reared it’s ugly head once again when I opened my eyes the next morning. It took every ounce of my strength to shove back the covers and walk out into the living room.

Ronnie, Livi, Ravyn and Jacky were sitting around the table with Luke in his high chair drawing pictures with his oatmeal. I could smell eggs and bacon but the thought of eating turned my stomach so I took the empty seat by Ronnie and poured myself a cup of coffee.

“We were just going to wake you up.” Ronnie said biting into a slice of toast.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Almost 2. Max texted you to say that he would be here in an hour for Luke’s swim lesson.” Livi replied.

“I guess that means I should start getting ready. C’mon Lukey…lets go get dressed for swimming.” I said standing up and walking over to take my son out of his high chair.

“Why don’t you go get ready Ce? I’ll get the little monster dressed.” Ravyn said.

“You sure?” I asked.

“Totally…I’ve missed him. C’mon Lu-Lu.” Rayvn said unhooking the table from Luke’s chair and setting it near the sink.

“No Lu-Lu.” Luke said as Ravyn picked him up.

“I’m sorry Mr. Luke.” she smiled.

“Good.” he said looking serious.

I couldn’t help but smile, “Lulu is a girl in his playgroup that always steals other kids toys. He doesn’t like her.”

“Ohhhh!” Ravyn said.

“Yeah. So don’t call him that.” I grinned and headed to my room. Leave it to Luke to make me forget for a little bit about the fact that I was about to toss my cookies over being alone with Max all day.

I grabbed a shower and pulled my hair into a ponytail before pulling on a pair of pink board shorts with a black bikini top and a pair of pink flip flops. By the time I got back into the living room Luke was running around in his Spider-Man trunks and his goggles on his head and Max was sitting on the couch talking to Livi.

“Hey.” I smiled as I walked in.

“Hey.” Max grinned.

“So we’d better head off.” I said.

“Right.” Max replied and stood up.

I walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to Ronnie.

“I’m leaving babe.” I smiled.

“I know.” He replied not looking up from where he was mopping up the leftover oatmeal with a rag. His face was strained.

“Ronnie…look at me.” I said.

He sighed and put the rag down and looked at me.

“Are you okay with this?” I asked looking at him.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked.

“Ronnie. I know something is wrong.” I replied.

“What do you think is wrong Cinder?” he asked looking at me.

“Look…I know that I’m going out with Max and all but it doesn’t mean a thing! He want’s to get to know Luke and he has that right Ronnie.” I replied.

He sighed, “I know. Anyhow, you had better get Luke to swim class. He’s probably clawing at the door trying to get out.” Ronnie laughed.

“Alright. Bye.” I smiled and walked out of the kitchen.

Sure enough Max stood holding Luke on his hip while Luke pointed at the door to him, repeating ‘I SWIM!’.

“Alright Lukey you ready to go swimming??!” I grinned as I walked up.

“I SWIM!!!” Luke said clapping his hands.

I grabbed a pink hoodie and pulled it over my bikini top before grabbing our pool bag and keys. Once ready I headed out the door with Max and Luke behind me.

Max buckled Luke in his car seat and we headed to the community center. I parked and we walked in.

“Alright you take Luke through the men’s locker room and I’ll meet you on the other side.” I replied handing Max a small stack of clothes for Luke.

“Sure thing.” he replied.

I walked into the Women’s locker room and shut my bag, hoodie and flip flops in a locker and put the lock on it. Heading out I saw that Max was talking to Luke who was listening intently. Max had taken off his and Luke’s sandals and had put Luke’s arm floaties on him.

“What are you two boys talking about?” I asked.

“About swimming.” Max replied.

“Really now?” I asked.

“Yeah…I was telling him about how much fun you and I used to have in the pool when we were kids.” Max smirked.

“Hopefully about the legal times right?” I asked remembering the many nights I’d gone pool hopping with the guys and nearly gotten caught by the cops.

“Don’t worry…those are for when he’s older.” Max winked.

“Good. Now c’mon class is about to start.” I said and took Luke from Max and headed to the pool.

I carefully climbed into the pool with Luke on my hip and he began to get excited, slapping at the water. They never really did a lot in Luke’s swim class, just splashed around and blew bubbles. It was more about getting them used to the water than actually swimming.

Max stood off to the side for the most part watching while Luke and I did what the teacher instructed. However after awhile I pulled him over and showed him how to help Luke glide across the water. He did it perfectly and Luke came up smiling.

“You did it Lukey!” Max smiled.

“Yay!!!” Luke grinned back at him.

When class was over I sent Luke with Max again so he could get dressed. In the Women’s locker room I pulled off my bikini top and board shorts and tucked them into the plastic bag I had packed to put them in. After that I pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top before sliding back on my flip flops and putting my hair in a ponytail.

Walking out of the locker room I saw Luke and Max waiting for me.

“Hungry Mama.” Luke said walking up and patting his tummy.

“Are you now? Well then c’mon big boy and we’ll go get you a Happy Meal because you did so well today in class.” I smiled and picked him up, resting him on my hip.

“You wanna come with?” I asked looking at Max.

“Sure.” He smiled and we headed out to the car.

Ten minutes later we were sitting in McDonald’s eating.

I looked up at Max who was watching Luke chew on chicken nuggets while he played with the little car that came with the meal.

“Can’t believe he’s yours right?” I asked with a smile.

“Huh? Oh….yeah….it’s kinda surreal.” he smirked.

“It’s still weird and I gave birth to him.” I smiled.

“I wish I could’ve been there.” he said with a frown.

“I’m sorry Max. I was doing what I thought was best. I dealt with that and Luke doesn’t need to. If you’re sober Max I have no problem with you being in his life but if you’re not you’re going to have to take me to court to see him.” I replied.

Max sighed, “I am Calyx and I’m going to stay that way. I want to be there for him. He’s mine and I don’t want him to not know me. I didn’t know my dad and look how fucked up I turned out.” he sighed.

“Good.” I smiled and bit into my burger.

After lunch we headed back to my apartment. I found a note that said that the guys were at the studio and that Ravyn and Liviana had tagged along. Luke was asleep in my arms so I carried him to his room and put him to bed.

When I walked back out Max was lingering by the door.

“I think I’m going to head back to my hotel for a bit. Trying to keep up with him is tiring as fuck. I don’t know how you do it.” he laughed.

“It’s not easy.” I smiled back.

“Thanks.” Max said looking at me.

“For what?” I asked.

“For letting me see him. For giving me a chance to be in his life.” he said.

“You’re his Dad. I want you to be there.” I replied.

“I miss you Cin.” he said walking closer to me.

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks and I knew that this was going somewhere it didn’t need to go.

“Max maybe you should-” but before I could finish Max was kissing me.

For a split second I felt my body relax at the familiar sensation of Max’s lips on mine but a second later Ronnie’s face flashed on my eyelids.

“Max…no…I’m with Ronnie.” I said shoving him away.

“I’m sorry Cin…I just couldn’t resist.” Max said.

“Okay whatever just…go.” I replied and opened the door.

Max sighed, “Bye Cinder.” he replied and walked out.

Once he was gone I shut the door and flopped down on the couch. I was in shock. The fact that Max had just kissed me had yet to sink in. I turned on the TV and before I knew it the days events caught up with me and I dozed off.

I woke a couple of hours later to Ronnie shaking my knee.

“Baby…wake up…we brought home dinner.”

For a moment I was a bit bewildered as I tried to remember why I was asleep on the couch. That’s when everything came pouring back. Max had kissed me. An instant lump rose in my throat.

“Ronnie I need to talk to you.” I said.

“We can talk after dinner. C’mon.” He said and took my hands, pulling me up but I shook my head.

“No. It can’t.” I replied and pulled him towards our bedroom.

“What’s going on?” Ronnie asked as I shut the door behind us.

“Max kissed me.” I replied in a rush.

The air in the room seemed to ring with silence in the wake of my admission. I looked at Ronnie who seemed highly interested in the floor. After what seemed like an eternity he finally spoke.

“Did you like it?” he asked.

“What? NO!” I replied.

“Cinder…don’t lie to me.” he said standing up and moving towards me.

“I-I don’t know! Maybe…a little.” I replied.

Ronnie sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

“I’m sorry Ronnie.” I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

He looked at me and frowned. A moment later he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

“Cinder don’t be sorry for your feelings. I’m not happy by any means but I just want you to be happy.” Ronnie said.

“I’m happy with you Ronnie. You’re who I want.” I replied looking at him.

“Don’t lie to me Stratton. I know that you’re not sure of that.” he replied.

Sighing I looked at him, “I never could lie to you.” I replied.

“So what do we do?” Ronnie asked.

“Ronnie…I think I need time.” I replied.

“Time?” he asked.

“Yeah. Time to get things straight.” I replied.

“Like what? You’re going back to the states or…?” he asked.

“What? No. I’m not taking Luke away from you. He loves you and hasn’t really known a day without you since he was born. I couldn’t do that to you. I’m talking more about me getting my own apartment for awhile. Just until I get everything straightened out.” I replied.

“No.” Ronnie said.

“No?” I asked.

“Yeah you’re not getting your own apartment. I’ll move across the hall with the guys. You and Luke can stay here.” He said.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’ll just grab some stuff and go over there.” he replied.

“Okay then. Thanks.” I replied.

“No problem Cin.” he smiled and kissed the top of my head.

I sat on the bed and with a heavy heart watched as Ronnie collected what he would need in a bag. Once he was done he kissed the top of my head and walked out. The moment the door was shut I laid back and cried.

I had to choose between my two best friends. On one hand I had Ronnie who had been there for me through my pregnancy and had helped me raise Luke. However on the other I had Max who I’d loved since I was a kid.

Things were so screwed up. I had no clue what I was going to do.