Status: Finals are coming by and I need to get my grades up. I won't be updating this very much. I'm sorry. Bare with me.
We're Ghosts in a Hail of Bullets
Time Moves On
Time didn't seem so slow in the house anymore. It went by rather quickly. The days rolled on and on, faster and faster. The sun would rise and fall like a ball in the air. Soon enough my suspension was up and school became unbearable. It was awkward. People starred at me endlessly. I couldn't tell if it was in admiration or hatred, but they starred furiously.
Days rolled into weeks and passed turned into months. Fall became winter. There was no snow. No cold. No snowmen in the front yard. Christmas was dull and boring. We had a tall Christmas tree that stood in the living room with presents underneath, but without the frost it was like swimming in a jacket. The only thing California had to offer in the winter was rain. Nothing but rain.
It was my first Christmas without my older brother. He sent a card but didn't bother to call. He became like a ghost to me. I hadn't heard from him since our move. Mom and Dad tried to call him to wish him a Merry Christmas but he wouldn't bother to pick up the phone. None of our family members called. We received tons of cards but no calls.
December passed into January. New Years was just as uneventful as Christmas. No one called either to tell us Happy New Years.
I watched the ball drop with my mom and dad. Moira wanted to take off the day so she was no where in sight. They had me bang on pots and pans like when I was a child. It was fun for the most part, but I couldn't shake the heavy feeling of something that I couldn't put my finger out. It was simply a heavy feeling. There were weights laying on my chest and I had no way of getting them off.
The feeling didn't cripple me. I was able to walk around the house and when school got off of break, I went every day. It was like there was dark cloud that hovered over me and drenched me in rain. The rain weighed down my clothes like I had rocks in my pockets and I had to carry it around.
February was no better. Tate was more affectionate, which was nice. It was only the feeling of the month though. I couldn't escape the feeling. I didn't dare mention it to Tate because I didn't want him to fear for me. His last girlfriend killed herself and I didn't want to show him any signs of depression. He could tell something was wrong though.
Valentines day came sooner than I expected. I didn't have a gift for my boyfriend, but he didn't have a gift for me either. He had a problem leaving the house. Being a ghost and all.
We slept most of Valentines day. After I arrived home from school I ran up to my room, dropped my backpack, and ate some candy my dad bought for me as I laid on my bed.
Tate appeared like he does. He curled up behind me with his chest pressed against my back. His arms were wrapped around my waist and his lips touched the back of my neck in a kiss.
"Happy Valentines day," he whispered in my ear before kissing my neck again. I said it back but in a dull, tired voice. "Are you okay?" he asked concerned and worried.
I noticed my mistake and quickly fixed it by turning over, smiling, and replying with "I'm fine. I'm just tired,". He bought it.
He allowed me to turn back over and fall peacefully asleep.
February passed like a small storm and soon it was March. My dad's birthday was celebrated on the first. Mine was twentieth. It was suppose to be an amazing day. It was but...nothing stays that way.
Days rolled into weeks and passed turned into months. Fall became winter. There was no snow. No cold. No snowmen in the front yard. Christmas was dull and boring. We had a tall Christmas tree that stood in the living room with presents underneath, but without the frost it was like swimming in a jacket. The only thing California had to offer in the winter was rain. Nothing but rain.
It was my first Christmas without my older brother. He sent a card but didn't bother to call. He became like a ghost to me. I hadn't heard from him since our move. Mom and Dad tried to call him to wish him a Merry Christmas but he wouldn't bother to pick up the phone. None of our family members called. We received tons of cards but no calls.
December passed into January. New Years was just as uneventful as Christmas. No one called either to tell us Happy New Years.
I watched the ball drop with my mom and dad. Moira wanted to take off the day so she was no where in sight. They had me bang on pots and pans like when I was a child. It was fun for the most part, but I couldn't shake the heavy feeling of something that I couldn't put my finger out. It was simply a heavy feeling. There were weights laying on my chest and I had no way of getting them off.
The feeling didn't cripple me. I was able to walk around the house and when school got off of break, I went every day. It was like there was dark cloud that hovered over me and drenched me in rain. The rain weighed down my clothes like I had rocks in my pockets and I had to carry it around.
February was no better. Tate was more affectionate, which was nice. It was only the feeling of the month though. I couldn't escape the feeling. I didn't dare mention it to Tate because I didn't want him to fear for me. His last girlfriend killed herself and I didn't want to show him any signs of depression. He could tell something was wrong though.
Valentines day came sooner than I expected. I didn't have a gift for my boyfriend, but he didn't have a gift for me either. He had a problem leaving the house. Being a ghost and all.
We slept most of Valentines day. After I arrived home from school I ran up to my room, dropped my backpack, and ate some candy my dad bought for me as I laid on my bed.
Tate appeared like he does. He curled up behind me with his chest pressed against my back. His arms were wrapped around my waist and his lips touched the back of my neck in a kiss.
"Happy Valentines day," he whispered in my ear before kissing my neck again. I said it back but in a dull, tired voice. "Are you okay?" he asked concerned and worried.
I noticed my mistake and quickly fixed it by turning over, smiling, and replying with "I'm fine. I'm just tired,". He bought it.
He allowed me to turn back over and fall peacefully asleep.
February passed like a small storm and soon it was March. My dad's birthday was celebrated on the first. Mine was twentieth. It was suppose to be an amazing day. It was but...nothing stays that way.