Colours and Lights

Max can't see anymore. He just sees colours and lights, and he hears Josh's voice somewhere in the back of his head, but it's not Max's name that he's saying. It's Hanna's. Max's head throbs and for a split second he feels like puking. But he doesn't. He falls onto a couch and curls up around his bottle of red wine, nudging his nose into the mouth of the bottle just because it feels like a good idea at the time. Alcohol stings his sinuses and he makes a mildly displeased noise, but he drinks anyway.

He kind of hears Dan somewhere behind him, through a wall. He's moaning. At least he's getting laid. Normally Dan has a dick in his mouth, not his ass. Max kind of wonders who he's fucking. He closes his eyes and listens for voices.

He hears Oliver's low rasp, and he hears Nicholls laughing. He hears Sierra ask for another beer. Phil is making weird noises. Josh and Vegan are playing FIFA. He can tell because they're yelling at each other. He hears music. It takes him a few seconds to properly recognize the song: Rude Boy. Rihanna. Max makes a face.

He opens his eyes and looks over to the television where Josh and Vegan are playing FIFA and Hanna is perched in Josh's lap. When he wins the match she kisses Josh full on the lips.

Max is positive he's going to puke now.

He shoves himself up off the couch and off the bus. He doesn't know whose bus it is but it's not his. Max hunches over and his stomach empties onto the pavement. He chokes out a sob right after, still kind of drooling vomit, and he kind of feels pathetic and he considers just collapsing onto the ground and crying until someone finds him. Maybe Tom, because Tom would take him back to the bus and give him a sympathy fuck. But Max doesn't collapse, he just stays bent over and pukes again.

Max washes his mouth out with red wine so he doesn't taste sick. He nearly finishes the bottle. His body feels light and fluid, and he stumbles back to the bus and the door opens before he can grab it and he kind of falls on Josh.

“Fuck you,” Max slurs, shoving Josh, but Josh doesn't move. Max succeeds only in pushing himself back onto the asphalt and the bottle breaks and the last few drinks of wine spill from the shattered glass. Max whines. “Fuck you,” he says again. What a waste. Josh looks at him.

“Max,” Josh says. He sighs. He leans down to pick Max up to take him back to the bus but Max tries to squirm away.

“Don't,” he whines. “Don't touch me. I hate you.”

Josh ignores him. He hefts Max up over his shoulder and Max kicks his legs. He fights for a minute or two, swearing at him incessantly, until he pukes again. On Josh this time.

Max half-expects Josh to just drop him and leave him there to pass out but he doesn't. He hears Josh sigh and he stops walking, and Max stares down at his own puke down the back of Josh's jeans and splattered on the asphalt and he swallows spit and that's about when he blacks out.

When Max wakes up his head feels like it's been split down the middle with a hatchet. He goes to stretch a bit in his bunk but he's not in a bunk. He cracks his eyes open. He's in the bed at the back of the bus. With Josh.

Well that's weird.

He curls back up, all tiny and covering his head. Ugh. The blinds are open. Light hurts. He feels the bed shift underneath him and then he hears Josh sigh and the bed shifts again and he hears bare feet padding across the floor and the bathroom door shut and Josh yawns and Max can hear him peeing and it's kind of awkward because he doesn't know what to do. He's just lying there with his head aching and the muffled sound of Josh washing his hands.

When the door opens again, Max pretends to be asleep. He feels Josh lay down and get under the blankets, and then something weird happens.

Josh is facing Max in the bed and he's inching up closer to him and wrapping his arm around Max's waist and oh. Josh's hands finds Max's and he winds up their fingers and Josh nuzzles the back of his head, sighing, “Max.”

Max is trying so hard not to just cry right now.

He presses his face into the pillow, letting out this weak little whimper. Josh sits up a little and pulls Max over and Max just looks up at him with his eyes all welled up and kind of scared and Josh holds Max's face in his hand and leans down and kisses him.

It's probably the softest kiss Max has ever gotten, and even though his head hurts he has enough sense to put his hand on Josh's waist and he ends up with a handful of chub and he smiles against Josh's lips.

“Hi,” Max whispers, his lips brushing Josh's when he speaks.

“Good morning,” Josh breathes.

“You took care of me,” Max says, so softly that it's barely a breath, and Josh nods.

“I didn't want you to get hurt,” he murmurs. “I wanted you to get back to the bus for sleep, and I wanted you to wake up next to someone.”

Max can't think of what to say, so he says, “Where's Hanna?”

“Gone,” Josh says, and Max doesn't have to ask.

“Okay,” he says, and Josh runs his thumb over Max's cheekbone.

“So, I love you,” Max says.

“I know,” Josh says. Max smiles gently. Josh continues. “What I mean is that I can tell I'm going to fall in love with you and I don't know how soon or how fast but I know and... yeah.” He bites his lip.

Max nods. “Okay,” he whispers.

“Lay down,” Josh says softly, even though Max is already lying down. Max closes his eyes. “I already asked if anyone minded if we shared this bed. We can share bunks too if you want.” Max presses his lips together.

“Does that mean we're together now?” he breathes. Josh nods. Max smiles. “Okay.”

“Do you want some tea?” Josh asks, holding Max's hand. Max nods. He watches Josh leave and once he's gone he rolls over face-first in his pillow and squeaks.