Forget About It

The concert was amazing; John’s voice was amazing; their performance was amazing. I clapped continually as I was watching their show from the side of the Luxor, where Mark had a little bar set up, that no one was using. He was also currently standing next to me, watching me curiously.

“Seriously you know, it's really creepy if you keep watching me like that.” I spoke while turning my head towards him.

“Just… consider it, you know?”

I laughed and shook my head. I immediately knew what he was thinking. “No.”

“I just don't get it Kase." He started again, "I mean I see you so much; you have so many connections to so many different people, but still you stick to the same old - sorry - but boring life.”

“So what? Should I just get up and leave?” My head tilted sideways, my eyebrowys knitted questionably on my forehead and my thoughts ran chaosly through my mind. No, there was no way I could just leave this behind.

“Maybe you should try something new? Get out! Live more!”

My thoughts still lingered on this absurd idea, while we stood in silence and watched the security guard trying to get all the kids out of the venue. This wasn't the first time he talked about how I should go and see the world.

“You want me to go with this band?” I asked in astonishment.

“Yeah, I mean why not?”

“Mark,” I looked at him again, “I’m twenty, I go to school! I have friends. I have a job. I can't just leave everything behind to travel with some band.”

Mark laughed: “Break off art school? You told me yourself it’s not your dream. And your job? Seriously, you work for a friend as a merch girl, that's not a real job." He shook my shoulders lightly, as if he wanted to say 'Wake up, Kase!' But to me it didn't feel so easy to wake up and break up with everything I had. "Come on, you know enough people in bands to do something you desire as a job. Just try.”

I inhaled a sharp breath and watched as the Maine started to clear up the stage while Jack basically danced through my mind. Maybe, then I had a chance to see him again, if that is what I wanted. But if Jack really wanted to see me, he probably would have found a way by now. And to be honest, a rockstar is not what I had been looking for. “Mark, be realistic.”

“I am, I really think you should at least ask.”

I rolled my eyes and watched as Mark left to help. I zoned out. 'Art school is bullshit, either you are talented or you're not. Football players don't go to college to learn about the game, they go to play and follow their dreams. That's what I want to do.' Words replayed my mind. 'Come on, you know enough people in bands to do something you desire as a job. Just try.' And then, I was stuck on Jack Barakat.

I shrieked, "Hi!" John said, right after he poked my sides.

“John,” I smiled.

“How’d you like the show?”

“Loved it,” I snickered, “you have an incredibly weird and sexy voice.”

“That’s a very interesting combo.” I laughed as he pulled me on stage. “Guys I want you to meet Kasey.” I was standing in front of the Maine, “Kase, that’s Kennedy, Garrett, Jared and Pat.”

“Hi,” I smiled and waved.

“Hey,” Pat looked at me and then John, “She really is quite cute.”

“Pat,” John snarled.

“What, you were sort of out of the loop before the -“ Jared hit Pat on the back, making him choke and stop his rambling.

“Thanks,” John nodded at Jared as he blushed bright pink.

I kept smiling.

“You’re really gorgeous,” Garrett stepped forward, “and that’s something.”

“But besides the point,” Kenny pushed Garrett and Jared out of the way, “I’m Kennedy.”

“Hey you want to go out with us tonight?” Jared spoke up.

I shook my head in disbelieve, “Um yeah,” I laughed, “but I gotta go to the Blue Shell first and ask.”

“Ask?” Garrett asked.

“Well I’m here with another band and I have to ask Simon, he’s overprotective and drove me here.” I sighed.

“Boyfriend?” Kenny asked, but I shook my head.

“Brother?” Garrett asked me.

I shook my head again, “Nope, just a friend.”

They all nodded. John brought me to the back door and said they needed to change anyways, and write at least a few autographs, so that I'd have plenty of time to go ask and meet them back at the venue.

I skipped my way over to Alex and Simon, who of course were cool with it, if I'm back at around one a.m. to go home. I agreed, quickly changed my shirt into a tank top and grabbed another blazer out of the car before walking back to meet with the guys.

In front of the Luxor, those hundreds of kids closed in on every member of the Maine screaming for an autograph. I smiled, while leaning on the wall and pulling out a cigarette. My mind again wandered out to Jack, it would always be like this with Jack. Anywere we'd go, someone would be there and know him and the band. I sighed, fame sometimes sucks.

-----------

Okay fame doesn’t always suck. It was almost half past midnight and the party we were at was fucking amazing. So first of all, I got to drink whatever I wanted. Kenny, Pat and John would not let me stand without a drink. Secondly, since John’s a rockstar, the club owner who was hosting this after show party was letting him DJ and John took me with him. It was fucking sweet.

Until I had to go.

“Hey John, I got to go or the boys will leave without me and that would mean a lot of trouble.” I emptied out my third Whiskey Coke.

“Alright, let me take you okay?”

I nodded and he told the band he’d be back.

“So you don’t live around here?” John began questioning me while we walked back to the venue.

The streets were quieter now, every once and again you could here loud music coming out of a building, or see some night life people walk by. But besides that and the occasionally railroads or honking taxis, the streets were pretty quiet.

“Nope,” I smiled, “I live about two hours away from Cologne.”

“What do you do?”

“I go to art school and work freelance, which sometimes includes being a merch girl.”

John laughed, “That’s sweet. What do you want to be?”

“Graphic designer. Maybe even a freelance Fashion designer.”

“That’s really cool.”

“I suppose. But I’m not made out for this.”

“For what?”

I thought about what Mark said. I was tipsy, which made me confident to just spit it out.

“Being at home all the time. Not seeing the world like you do.”

“Yeah, I guess that's one of the highlights of being a musician,” John sighed.

"What's a down side?"

John stopped and turned towards me, "I'd say, not being able to have a longterm girlfriend."

The answer struck me; I would have expected everything, but not that. "Yeah," I agreed, "that does really suck."

We kept walking in silence towards the Blue Shell he hugged me goodbye and said he’d definitly call sometime. I nodded and left him standing outside the venue.

As soon as I was inside I hit my head. I should have listened to Mark and just asked him, but then again it was literally a weird question to ask.