This is the Calm Before the Storm

Fancy going for a coffee? X

I’d read the text over millions of times and I still didn’t know what to reply.

It was Adam. We had been texting for a few weeks now but I hadn’t seen him since that night. I was in two minds about it. I liked Adam, he was great but I didn’t want him to think I was leading him on.

But I did fancy a coffee.

Sure I’ll meet you soon x

I quickly got dressed and made my way down to the starbucks that dan and I had been too a few weeks before to talk about josh. As I approached I saw him sat outside, two coffees’s in front of him.

He smiled as I came into sight and pulled me into a hug. We sat down and he pushed a coffee towards me.

“Thanks, how much do I owe you?”

“Don’t be stupid el” he laughed and flashed that gorgeous smile of his. “So how are you beautiful?”

“I um, better I guess” I smiled and he nodded knowingly.

I confessed everything to Adam about josh and how I still felt about him after Adam told me how much he liked me. I really like Adam too, like really like, but I just honestly can’t see myself with anyone else other than josh.

I was a wreck for a few days or so after the party and Adam pretty much got me though it and I was able to see what able to see what a great guy he was. He reminded me so much of dan and it was comforting having him around.

“Hey im just wanted to say thanks; I don’t know what I would have done with out you these past few weeks”

“No worries love, it was my pleasure” he smiled and I returned it with just as much enthusiasm.

I sat nursing my coffee, enjoying the comforting silence when Adam began to speak.

“Do you ever wonder how many people notice you, but you don’t notice them because your too busy thinking about someone else?”

I looked up to see his eyes boring into mine, with a look of such pure intensity on his face.

“I don’t get what you mean”

“Well look at it this way, I like you, like really like you. And I know there’s this whole shit with josh, but honestly, I don’t get it. He broke your heart but you still want him? He doesn’t deserve you. He completely screwed up and he hurt you. I don’t get why you don’t wanna hurt him back”

“Adam, what even? I can’t believe you just said all that”

“I just don’t get why he has such a hold over you. All these boys walking past here are giving me the death glare cause they think im your boyfriend, and you know what, it feels good. But you don’t even know cause your so fully focused on josh”

“You don’t understand Adam”

“Yeah your right I don’t, care to explain?”

Adam was getting on my last nerve and I really wanted to just get up and walk away, but for some reason I felt the need to defend josh, and myself.

“Josh was my first love. He still is, that’s never gonna change. He will always have a special place in my heart. And I know people tell you to just move on, but I cant. Im not ready to move on just yet”

“Well if you go back to him, he’ll just hurt you all over again. You don’t deserve it el”

“Josh loves me, he wouldn’t hurt me”

“He’s done it before, what’s stopping him again”

“What do you know Adam? If you knew anything, when josh gets back from tour we’re getting back together.”

Adam didn’t say anything at that point, just raised his eyebrows at me as if to say really?

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Did he tell you that exactly?”

“Well no, he said he still loves me and that we’d sort everything out when he gets back”

“Oh so he never actually said you’d get back together, you just read it like that”

Ok I’ll give him that one, but who was he to talk about me and josh like that?

“Look Adam, I don’t know who you think you are, but you have no right to talk about mine and josh’s relationship like you’re an expert on it, I mean who do you think you are?”

“I think im the guy whose just found the perfect girl but he cant have her cause she’s hung up on some other guy” he said sadly with his head now hung low. “Im sorry for being like this el, I just don’t understand. I don’t think I ever will.”

“I know its strange Adam, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And my heart wants josh. I cant help it.”

“Fine, I’ll lay off” he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

He looked so sad and I hated seeing people sad so I reached out and took his hand in mine.

“I like you Adam, really I do. I don’t think I could have gotten through these last few weeks without you. Don’t let this ruin our friendship”

He looked up at me through his lashes and smiled lightly.

“Your gonna be the death of me el” he smiled and then we finished up our coffee’s and left. We walked home hand in hand, laughing about stupid things. When we got to my door he kissed me on the cheek and told me he’d text me later.

I ran up to my room and flung myself on my bed when my phone buzzed in my bag. I was expecting it to be Adam cause this would be the type of thing for him to do. Tell me he’d text me later and then text me straight away. I pulled out my phone but then my blood turned to ice.

It was josh.

Looks like you couldn’t wait for me after all.