This is the Calm Before the Storm

Hey love where are you, are you still feeling ill? x

I read over the text from Nora wondering what to text her back. I decided not to go to collage today. I couldn't Handel walking round like nothing was wrong, and watch him act the same. I wanted to tell Nora what had happened yesterday, but not over text. I then suddenly remembered she had frees this afternoon again and pondered on whether I should ask her over. I was alone again and really wanted to see her so texted her back.

I guess you could say that, do you mind coming over to see me? x

A few moments later I felt the familiar buzz of my phone by the side of me.

Sure thing, as long as you’ve got nothing catching ;) you want me to bring anything? X

Trust her to be asking if I needed anything. I really do wonder why she sticks with me sometimes.

No thanks, just yourself :) x

About a half hour later the door bell went and I rushed to get it, forgetting the fact that I had been crying for about 24 hours and no doubt my eyes were puffy and red, and my cheeks tear stained. I remembered though when I opened the door and Nora’s face turned from that beautiful carefree smile that was usually plastered on her face, to a mask of concern and worry.

“Elodia? Have you been crying?” she asked. I didn’t respond, I just held the door open further and she walked in. I took her arm and led her too my room and we sat on my bed.

“Josh broke up with me yesterday” I managed to choke out before the tears began to fall from my eyes again. I thought I had managed to cry out all my tears when my mum and I talked it though yesterday, but clearly not.

Nora was quick to wrap he arms around me and hold me to her tightly. We sat there for about five minutes and I cried and she rocked me back and forth before I pulled back and she wiped my eyes.

“What did he say?” she asked. She had a sad look on her face, but there was an edge to her voice.

“He said that he didn’t love me anymore, I mean I know we’ve been fighting lots lately but I never thought he would finish with me.” I felt the need to breakdown again but Nora rubbed my back soothingly and I managed to hold it in. “I mean I just didn’t see it coming, and even though he’s hurt me more than I thought anyone ever could, he’s the one I wanna call to make things better. I miss him so much and it’s only been one day”

“I know it’s gonna be tough babe, you just need time to get used to things. And its gonna be difficult, but you’ve got me, and Alana and Curtis and Oscar. And hey I know you think he’s a bit strange sometimes, and trust me he is, but James cares about you a lot too.”

“I guess I should be nicer to him huh?” I giggled.

Nora just smiled at me and wiped the rest of my tears away. “You’re a beautiful girl el, inside and out and he’s gonna wake up one day and realise what he’s said goodbye too. I just hope he’s not too late”

“It’s just, how could he do this to me? I mean after all we’ve been through”

“Boy’s are stupid. You know josh, he’s a control freak”

“Life sucks so much” I grumbled and put my head in my hands. Nora moved and put her arm around me and rested her head on to of mine.

“Life doesn’t suck, its just today that sucks. This is just one little bump in the road”

“Feels more like a man hole”

Nora giggled softly and squeezed me arm lightly. “I know you feel shitty now, but you can get through this. I know you’re strong enough.”

“Thank you Nora”

“No problem. You wanna order pizza or something? Ancient myth states that pizza holds magical abilities to make everything seem not so bad” she winked and I couldn’t help but smiled. “Ahh see that’s the smile ive been looking for” she said and hugged me. “I’ll go order”

About half an hour later we were sat in my front room with a large pizza in front of us. I was half way though my first slice by the time Nora was on her third.

“Oi, why aren’t you eating?” she quizzed

“Just not that hungry” I replied. “Don’t worry im sure it will pass” I added after she gave me an odd look.

“How are you feeling now anyway?”

“Ok, im just confused, like I don’t understand. How can someone just wake up and decide the don’t want you anymore? I just don’t understand how his feelings changed so fast.”

She took my hand and squeezed it gently before replying. “I really don’t know love. I wish I had all the words to make you feel better but I don’t. It sucks so much seeing you like this and knot knowing what to say”

“its ok” I smiled, “you being here is more than enough”

She was just about to reply when her phone started blaring music. She pulled it from her pocket and then to her ear.

“Hello… I’m at Elodia’s… what, now?… can I not-… ok fine I’ll be home soon… ok bye” she ended the call and put it back in her pocket. “Mum wants me home” she huffed and then grabbed another slice of pizza before standing up. “You gonna be in tomorrow?”

“Should be”

“Make sure you are, I know it’s gonna be tough but show him whose boss” she winked before kissing my cheek and grabbing her things. “Bye el, love youuuuu” she called before leaving.

I smiled and waved her off before shutting the door. It seemed that as soon as she left, my good mood went with her. I collected up the box and put the rest of the pizza in the fridge almost robotically before collapsing back onto the sofa.

A wave of tiredness soon crashed over me, I guess crying can really make you sleepy. I was shutting my eyes when the front door suddenly smashed open and I heard my brother call my name. “In here” I replied and he came and sat near me.

“I just saw Nora walking up the road” he commented and when I looked at him there was a slight sparkle in his eye.

“Zac, she has a boyfriend and she’s 4 years older than you”

“A man can dream” he retorted and a hit him with a pillow.

“Man? You’re 13, you’re a boy for heavens sake” Zac had always had a crush on Nora, and she thought it was cute but I just found it weird. “There’s pizza in the fridge in you want it” I said trying to change the subject.

“Sweet, want me to get you a slice?”

“No thanks” I said and he ran into the kitchen.

Zac knew that josh and I were over, but he was acting like nothing had happened. I felt normal around him, more normal than I had all day, and when he came back we watched TV until my mum came home. It was nice that I had someone to be normal around.

That night I laid in bed and tried to look back over the past few months of mine and josh’s relationship. Tried to look for the early signs of where we went wrong but came up with nothing. Everything was fine.

I felt miserable. I couldn’t even remember feeling this broken. When my mum and dad split up, or when they were about to, I used to put my headphones in and block out the world with music, and still did from time to time.

I reached under my pillow and grabbed my iPod out from under it. I always keep it here now because my brother always loses his headphones and steals mine, so I put it there where he can’t find it.

I scrolled through my playlist and went straight in for my favourite song. I love that feeling when its night time, and its silent, and you play your favourite song loudly through your headphones so it’s extra loud. And you have hear every breath, every strum, every hit of the drum. And the adrenaline builds inside you, and you can feel it getting stronger and stronger until your biting down on your lip in fear of singing out loud and waking everyone up.

And then the song kicks in, and this wave of happiness crashes over you and you lay there smiling like an idiot. It’s like the ultimate high.

That’s the thing with bands and music. People don’t understand why people get obsessed with it, but you don’t understand until it happens to you. When you can relate to something so strongly, and you don’t feel so alone anymore.

Music will never walk out on you. Music will never tell you it doesn’t love you anymore. It’s constant. It’s always there and it will never let you down. It gives you the ability to feel when it’s the last thing you want to do.

My thoughts suddenly wiped back round to josh once the song had finished, and I felt my blood turn cold.

I could not understand why this had happened.