Welcome to Peach creak.

"HI BRENDA!!" Ed yelled, waving furiously at me.
"Euh.. Hi, Ed." I said, trying to walk away.
"Hello, Brenda!" Eddward called kindly.
'Ugh.. give me a break...'
I walked over to them, Allys by my side.
"Hey, guys." I said.
"Where were you off to? If you need help getting around I can gladly-" Edd was cut off when something hit Ed and he caught it.
"Is that.. the-"
"By all means, Eddward, for such a well-mannered and hygenic child, you should not stare at people as it is rude." Ed said. "I see this 'boomerang' has some type of writing on it.. perhaps I can decode it so-"
"Euh.. what the f*ck happened to Ed?" I asked loudly.
"I think it's this." Allys said, and took the boomerang out of his hand.
"Allys, NO!"
She stared at us blankly for a moment.
"The f*ck are you f*cking pieces of sh*t gawking at, b*tches? You f*ckin' got a problem, mother f*ckers? Go eat penguin sh*t you donkey raping sh*t-eating *ss-spelunkers. Go give your d*ke momma's a rimjob, f*ckin idiots." she yelled.
"..."
"Eddy, what's a rimjob?" Ed asked.
Eddward gasped, unsure of what to say.
"Why, that's when you put your f*cking legs behind your f*cking head and have somebody lick your *ss!" Allys explained.
I snatched the boomerang from her hands, before realizing my mistake.
"Par le nom de Satan, je convoque le grand seigneur des tenebres Cthulu a prendre sur cette terre et vous bannir un oubli noir!" I yelled, unknowingly.
"Uh, WHAT?" Eddy said.
"Euhm..." Edd said, looking at the French-English dictionary he-for unknown reasons- had. "Something about being bannished to a dark oblivion.. and.. a Cthulu?"
I dropped the boomerang, and we all stepped away from it.
"Euh.. What the hell is that?" I asked, worry in my voice.
"I-it's a boomerang, and for some reason, whenever we touch it... our personalities get messed up!" Edd explained.
"Well, what do we do with it now? Burying it didn't work." Eddy said.
"I got it!" Ashlie shouted. "Wouldn't it be cool if... we got some witch lady to fix the boomerang, so it doesn't mess us up.. and get a really big canon, and put it in there, and aim it for the sun! We c'd burn it!"
"Euhm.. or.. we could just burn it..with matches..." I said slowly.
"Well, sure, if you wanna do it the easy way.." Ashlie said.
I got out my lighter, and Eddy ran home to get some matches.
"Why do you carry around a lighter?" Eddy asked when he returned.
"PRotective reasons."
We set the 'rang on fire, and mixed the ashes in with the dirt surrounding. It was like nothing happened.
"Well, what now?" I asked.
"... Wanna go make brownies?" Ashlie asked.
"F*ck yeah!" I said, and we high fived.
"Can we help make brownies??" Ed yelled. He got a chef hat from out of nowhere and said, "I AM PAULA DEEN!"
"Who?" Eddy asked.
"Ok, you guys can help..." I said, rolling my eyes. "Let's do it.. THE COSPLAY-WAY!"
"F*ck yeah!" Ashlie said, highfivin me again.