Hiding My Heart

I hardly slept that night because I was so nervous to talk to Jake. I don’t know why I was nervous. I guess it could be that I think it might have been a joke or maybe even a dream. I’m not really sure how this is all going to go down. What if Isabella comes around and he leaves me again? What will I do?

“Knock Knock,” Jake says as he opens my door slightly. “Can I come in?”

“Ummmm I think you already let yourself in...” I say as he walks over and sits down on the edge of my bed. I’m still laying in it because I couldn’t bear to get out of it.

“Yea but you're the one that told me to come over after I’m done sleeping.”

“It’s kinda early still, I didn’t think that you would be up until at least noon.” It was only nine o’clock. It was early by Jake’s standards and well even by mine. We must really want to talk to each other.

“Well I really wanted to see my girl,” He said with a shy smile. I can’t believe that wasn’t a dream last night. I hope this doesn’t hurt me in the long run.

“Alright,” a smile is firmly on my face, “Let me get dressed and we can go take a walk on the beach.”

“OK see you in a minute.”

When he left I jumped out of my bed and ran to my closet. I grabbed a pair of shorts and my bikini and threw them on then ran out of my room with the intention to run down the stairs but I ran into Embry in the process.

“Oppsie. Sorry Em!” I exclaim as I try to get past him.

“Hey where are you going in a rush? Didn’t you patrol last night? I thought you would still be sleeping.”

“Long story short Jake is here and we are going for a walk on the beach to talk. Now if you'll excuse me I really should get going.”

“Well if you’re going to go for a walk with him will you at least put on a shirt?”

“No Em it’s actually kinda hot out for this time of year and I don’t want to roast. Please move!”

“Fine but be careful!”

“Sure, sure, Em. Catch you later!” I yelled over my shoulder. I can’t believe that he wanted me to put on more clothes. I bet you if I was going to hang out with anyone else he wouldn’t have cared one bit. I ran down the stairs and out the door to see Jake waiting for me outside by his car.

“Hey let’s walk to the beach. It’s not like we are to far away.”

“OK.” He quickly makes his way to where I was heading and grabs my head and interlocks our fingers. I look down and blush. This is the first time since we turned that Jake showed that he had feelings for me that was more than friends.

The walk to the beach was a quiet one. It wasn’t an awkward quiet it was a nice one and I was happy to know that we weren’t being incredibly awkward yet. I think neither one of us wanted to talk and ruin the nice feeling we had around us.

Once we got to the beach he started to head to the more populated part of the beach.

“Hey lets walk towards the cliffs. There is no one there and I don’t think anyone should hear our conversation anyways.” I tug his hand and start walking for the cliffs. They were a long ways off so it would leave us with a lot of time to talk.

“Sooo, I know you want to talk about what happened and why I didn’t immediately admit that I imprinted on you...” He started this conversation off so awkwardly.

“Jake, I just want to know why you rejected me. It hurt me so much for you to just drop me.”

“I was afraid. You know I thought I loved you before either of us changed? I was going to tell you some time after your birthday but you stopped talking to me because you became a wolf. It hurt me so much to see you walk away from me and you didn’t even tell me why. So I found comfort in Bella. She didn’t know my feelings for you or anything of the sort. I kept those to myself but she helped me get my mind of from you and how you hurt me.” While he was talking he looked at the water and away from me. I think he didn’t want to face me while he was talking because he was afraid of my reactions. I’m not really sure.

“After awhile I started to develope feelings for Bella. They weren’t nearly as strong as my feelings for you where but they were enough to try and distract me from wondering why you left.Then I got sick. It was the start of the change and I didn’t know what was happening. When I turned your voice was the first voice I heard. I was terrified but you were there to help me and I am so grateful for that. You took care of me and when I first saw you in the forest I imprinted on you. I didn’t know what happened I mean I just turned into a wolf and then I saw you. When I saw you I thought that you were the most beautiful thing ever. My feelings from before the change didn’t even come close to my feelings for you after I imprinted but I remembered that you hurt me. I remembered that you left me when you changed and for some stupid reason I thought you were going to do it again. So I suppressed my feelings for you and still went for Bella. What I did was stupid and I still feel incredibly sorry for asking you to help me with Bella I know that was stupid. I know I hurt you. I saw you cry all the time when you went to bed and everything but I was too stupid to just stop my pursuit of Bella and admit that I love you,” He stopped us from walking any father and turned to face me. His eyes looked like they were going to start releasing water at any second. “Anna I love you I really do.” He cupped my face and looked like he was going to kiss me but then let go and started walking again with my hand in his. “When Bella left I was hurt. I was left once again by the person I loved. I didn’t know what to do then you gave me that choice and I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t lose you forever. I thought long and hard about what I was going to do and what I was going to say to you. So all of that brought me to here and now, with me holding your hand and walking down the beach. It feels right.” He looked over at me with a smile and I smiled back even though what I really wanted to do was cry.

We got to the top of the cliff and I didn’t even notice that we made it this far. His small confession left me breathless.

“Jake, I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you when I changed. The whole reason why I stopped talking to you was so you would hopefully go on with your life and hopefully never get involved with this. How stupid of me to think that though. You were supposed to be alpha and I guess I will never know why you didn’t take the job but I won't pester you on that right now. Jake I just want you to know that I love you. I have loved you before this wolf stuff also so don’t go thinking that I only love you because I imprinted on you and you imprinted on me. I really truly love you. I hated seeing you with Isabella because I knew you should have been with me and even if this supernatural stuff wasn’t around you still would have been with me because that’s how much I loved you then Jake. I just want you...” before I could even finish my sentence Jake kissed me. He had my waist pushed right up against him and his lips on mine. I couldn’t help but sigh with content and kiss him back.

“Wow.” He whispered when he stepped back.

“Yea wow.” I couldn’t believe that we were finally kissing. We were finally admitting to each other that we love each other. It felt right. It felt like bliss.